[Changeling]Fleeting Hope[Final]

[Ashton]

Name: Fleeting Hope "Hope"
Gender: Filly
Age: Foal
Species: Changeling
Eye colour: Green
Character colour: Black
Mane/Tail/Other: Black
Physique: Average for her age

Residence: Wanderer (Everfree for now)
Occupation: NA - Foal
Cutie Mark: NA - Changeling
Unique Traits: Having been "orphaned" early thanks to the imprisonment of her parents during Chrysalis' second invasion, Hope knows very little about her species, upto and including the fact they are... unwelcome... in most places, and if unseen she would seem like any other foal.
 

History:
Hope was born not long after the failed invasion of Canterlot by the changelings, she grew up in the badlands with her parents who, despite being "evil" always looked out for their daughter, quite often sacrificing meals (both emotional and sustenance) so she would have plenty to eat. She was left behind in the camp when the plan to capture the element bearers came to fruition, and unfortunately due to circumstance of their imprisonment, she is presumed orphaned, unfortunately, while waiting for her parents (and all the others) to return, she was playing too close to the edge and fell into the river, just as she lost consciousness a boat spotted her and decided she would make a good zoo exhibit, or perhaps they could sell her to celestia for experimentation... in any case they took her aboard and put her in a crate and headed back towards home. Fate jsut wasnt on their side though as a rogue storm blew in from the everfree and washed most of the cargo overboard, including hope's crate, the cargo drifted down-stream into the everfree where it shashed against the rocks and broke open. Luckily hope had awoken by then and managed to climb out, though with no clue where she was...

 

Character Summary/Personality:

Hope is very young and as such never got the chance to learn much about her world or even her race, she is very inquisitive and often it gets her into trouble. being young, she does not have a "permanent" alter-ego to shift into like many changelings (though she does know how to shapeshift), and since she was shuffled around so much she never got to see the darker side of pony-changeling relations so she is quite naive about what awaits her. 

 

 

EDIT:

Fleeting Hope: Fully evolved

[Mojo]

Since you requested feedback, Ashton, I'll give you some!

 

Structurally, this app is very sound.  All of the required fields are filled, and although the last two fields (History, Character Summary) are brief, that could be expected since she's a young filly.  I have to confess, this app does move me emotinally.  Poor Fleeting Hope's parents imprisoned and the rest of her kind gone.  But still, this is your character and if you want her to have a sad backstory, that's your choice.

 

The main question I'd have to ask is this:  What is your goal with Fleeting Hope?  Live the rest of her life on her own?  Change into a young pony form and get adopted by a loving pony family?  In whatever role you envisioned for her, how would she interact with others?

 

Not trying to nit pick, Ashton, just encouraging you to think these points through so you can flesh out this character more effectively.

 

   

[Ashton]

Since you requested feedback, Ashton, I'll give you some!

 

Structurally, this app is very sound.  All of the required fields are filled, and although the last two fields (History, Character Summary) are brief, that could be expected since she's a young filly.  I have to confess, this app does move me emotinally.  Poor Fleeting Hope's parents imprisoned and the rest of her kind gone.  But still, this is your character and if you want her to have a sad backstory, that's your choice.

 

The main question I'd have to ask is this:  What is your goal with Fleeting Hope?  Live the rest of her life on her own?  Change into a young pony form and get adopted by a loving pony family?  In whatever role you envisioned for her, how would she interact with others?

 

Not trying to nit pick, Ashton, just encouraging you to think these points through so you can flesh out this character more effectively.

 

   

 

Oh I appreciate any feedback, especially nit-picking

 

And yes, I tend to gravitate towards characters with a trubled past, I guess it's just that True Art is Angsty... though notice I left an out where if things go horribly wrong, Hope's parents *can* show up and spirit her away (though it's not planned).

 

My goal... well ultimately I'd like her to befriend enough foals that she learns how to behave (and what appearance to take) and get adopted by a new family (short-term, another RPer and I have plans for her) For now she would start out almost like a wood spryte, just a voice in the woods calling out "come play with me!" to other foals and rolling an old battered soccer-ball towards them, her eyes shining int he darkness, and over time make some friends (and no doubt leave some parents looking in on then then slowly closing the door and muttering "I'm seeing double, I need to lay off the cider!" ) then learn enough to be adopted by a loving family (who finds out she's a changeling and either still loves her unconditionally, or throws her out in the cold again over and over untill she finds a family who doesnt mind)

[Ashton]

updated to final status

[Mojo]

Looks good to me!

 

Recommending this app for further Senior RPH analysis!

 

   

[SteelEagle]

Hey there, I'm reviewing this app. The basics are sound, but could you expand on a few elements? The nature of her nomadic groups (and why they are nomadic as opposed to being part of the Changeling Kingdom) and a bit more for her summary.

[Ashton]

Hey there, I'm reviewing this app. The basics are sound, but could you expand on a few elements? The nature of her nomadic groups (and why they are nomadic as opposed to being part of the Changeling Kingdom) and a bit more for her summary.

 

There isn't much info about a "changeling kingdom" while we can *infer* that chrysalis and her group were not _all_ the changelings, there has been nothing in the show that states it (and I do not remember it in the comics, but I'm a few months behind in those) Thus one assumes with chrysalis imprisoned the changelings that didn't go with her (the very old and very young, sick, injurred, etc) started roaming trying to find someplace to feed and likely since they lived under Chrys so long, they didnt have a lot of leadership so they became a loose association of smaller groups (basic sociology) but I can give a little more backstory to her.

 

I'm a little confused about what you mean about more summery... what kind of things are you looking for? (sorry been a while since I did an OC app >.<)

[SteelEagle]

Please read this.

[Ashton]

I am struggling not to either Break The Character or Break Logic... So far I can either go the logical rout, which will completely destroy her innocence, or I can break logic and keep her as the character I want... (It's ironic that this little foal is more difficult and stressfull than a T1 App... @_@ ... T_T ) I have a couple disconnected ideas, but no way to make them actually *work*...

[SteelEagle]

Lay'm on me. I'm here to service you.

[Ashton]

I can either (1) have her a foal in the kingdom, and her parents, for trying to preach tolerance, are imprisoned and/or executed, but because of hope's age, she is too young for imprisonment but too old to be 'reprogrammed' to hate and fear anything not changeling, so they simply declare her honorless and kick her out of hte kingdom, she then has to make her way to ponyville (by "sheer random luck") and during that adventure she would sure encounter many griffens and ponies who either shun her or actively attack her, possibly to kill her while she's still vulnerable, before she becomes more of a threat. Meanwhile the changelings all shun her because she is honorless. So, after the many months it would take to land in ponyville, she would be very cynical, depressed, dark, angry, and very much NOT the happy innocent foal I want...

 

or...

 

her parents were part of a long-term scouting party outside of ponyville, and by luck they knew something was going to happen that night so they sent hope to play in the woods, and while she was gone the ponies came and ravaged the camp killing everyone there and disposing of the bodies and blood, leaving hope to come back to the empty camp and wonder where her parents and all the others went...

[DerpRavener]

I hope I'm not intruding.  I've been mulling this over for a few days and this is what I came up with:

 

Fleeting Hope's parents were a part of the group which made up the attack on Ponyville.  As part of preparations for that, an outpost was set up a short distance away from the town (though far enough that it wouldn't be stumbled upon, I'm imagining a day's travel).  Fleeting Hope's parents wanted to keep her with them as much as possible, so she came with them to the outpost, but of course she couldn't participate in the actual attack.  When her parents didn't return, she resolved to start looking for them herself, not knowing the dangers involved.  She was either allowed to leave (no one left in the camp cared enough about her) or she escapes from her remaining guardians and essentially 'runs away from home' to search for her parents (the more interesting option, in my opinion).  This puts her close enough to Ponyville that she could get there before too much goes wrong for her, and gives her a reason to end up there.  The outpost would be the closest she ever got to leaving the kingdom, and it still wouldn't have had any interaction with neighboring pony settlements, so I think it would preserve her knowing little about Equestrian-changeling interactions as much as most of the other options.

 

As an aside, I would also like to hear a little more about Fleeting Hope's personality.  We know she's inquisitive, but beyond that all we know is her circumstances.  She hasn't had much exposure to ponies, or changeling-pony interactions, and as described we know she lacks the training/experience to have come up with a go-to disguise, but I feel like we don't know much about Fleeting Hope herself, i.e. how she solves problems, how she interacts with characters she likes or dislikes, etc.

[SteelEagle]

We've been discussing this more on Skype. Anyway Ash, almost there. Just need more regarding how she has went from being on the shores of the Everfree to Ponyville. Once in Ponyville, how is she surviving/why is she doing what she is doing now/who is helping him. 

[SteelEagle]