Jane

I sincerely apologize for my absence this week. RL kinda got away from me. Everything looks okay to me now - I'm going to pass this right along. Again, very very sorry for the delay.

Er, essentially yes. I'm really sorry about the mixed messages you've been getting. It's just that when the app was initially posted, it wasn't terribly clear what his magic did, only that it was powered by the stars and that he could somehow control or move them. I wanted you to explain what that meant and what it did, as it seemed a lot like Luna's magic. When you modified or clarified what his magic does, it then became a little bit too clear. The technical explanation sort of distracts from everything else. Does that make sense? Also, you certainly haven't failed at anything. Like I said, this character has come a very long way from where you were when you initially posted this app to the point where we're just being nitpicky to iron out the details. Magic is hard to write about in apps because sometimes we feel that a unicorn's magic is going to be really important, but it actually isn't. I did the same thing when I was planning out my own Unicorn OC - I spent way too much time thinking about and asking about what his magic would be, when really that's of very little consequence when it comes to playing him. Think about how many times we've seen Rarity use her gem-finding spell. Yes it's there and it's great for us to understand how it works, but it's not the first thing that comes to mind when we think of Rarity because a unicorn's magic doesn't necessarily define him/her. Yes, it is huge for Twilight Sparkle, but not so much for the other unicorns we know.

Hiya! Welcome to Canterlot! I must thank you for writing a good long intro post. I love it when people go beyond "Hi I'm new, let's be friends!" That's more or less how I came to ponies. Instead of avatars, though, downloadable sims 2 content kept showing up all over the site I was active on and I had to know more about it! It's great to see that you're really excited to be a part of our community!

Usually, I go by "Jenga" or a variation therof when online (jenga218 or Jenga Jane being the most common). The Jenga comes from a game of human jenga that was played at a Church youth camp several years ago. A game of human Jenga that I failed at rather spectacularly. I think it was only a few weeks after said youth camp that I set up my very first e-mail address. Unlike most of us who had hotmail in fifth grade, I didn't choose butterfliessunshinegirl342904@hotmail.com or anything like that. I went with the newly acquired nickname "jenga" and the date I'd acquired it (Feb 18th). Also, for the record, when I tell someone my username verbally, I always say it "Jenga two-eighteen" as a result of this. Not sure if the Jane part came before or after. Yes, Jane is my middle name and in real life I do go by my first name (though lately I've started coming close to answering to 'Jane' too). And I'd never been one of those people who kept my middle name a secret either. But I didn't start using it actively online until I started actually being active on a forum site. Long story short, my account name on said site was "smo52oms" for stupid reasons and I hated it but couldn't change it. I adopted a different online persona in the form of my simself (this was a sims 2 fansite) by giving her my middle name as her first name, and my maternal grandmother's maiden name as her surname. I worked actively on that site to ensure that people called me Jane as much as possible - put the name in my avatar and my signature was 'call me Jane' for the entire time I was on that site. I got really annoyed when people still called me smo52oms. I was, and still am, happy to use Jenga, though. As I began to branch out I acquired several accounts on various sites with names like "Jenga218", "Jenga", and eventually "Jenga Jane" (the space between is done in so many different ways because where's the fun in being consistent? Jenga-Jane, Jenga_Jane, Jenga Jane, JengaJane, etc.) At one point, I got into the habit of trying to see if "Jane" was taken on any site before defaulting to a variation of Jenga, and when I went on an account-making spree in ponydom last year, I also added "Applejane" to my repertoire when I cleverly (well, I thought it was clever) realized the name was two letters off "Applejack" and was still very me. I really only use that on sites where I have multiple accounts, but one specific to ponies (Google, Youtube, there might be a livejournal floating around with that on it somewhere. ). I actually think Canterlot is the only site on which I am active where my username is simply "Jane". I really like having it that way, but at the same time it confuses people. I recently added someone on Skype and even when I answered the "who are you?" question with "I'm Jane from Canterlot" I got a response along the lines of "no, I mean what's your username." And that's how Equestria was made.

Excellent, looks great! Passing right along for final approval.

Okay, one of the senior staff members on the site has just given me the following feedback. It seems that this application is still too focussed on the technical details of his magic. Saying that he seeks out bits of meteorite and saying that he's picking up bits of the sky or pieces of stars to sell would is fine, it's cute and clever and I think it would work well in the magical world of Equestria. There's just really no need to go into details about the process behind this, to the point that we're now describing the science behind this. These are the sort of details that you might bring up in a roleplay setting, but they don't really need to be in the character's biography. Essentially, at this point, everything else is great. It's just this paragraph that needs to be reworked: Also, just for readability and formatting purposes, this can be in a separate paragraph to the rest of the information about the personality. Formatting is your friend.

Yours would involve Rarity, wouldn't it?

Alright, just a few more changes to be made here. I'm sorry if I appear to be nitpicky about your character design, but it is important to us to keep World of Equestria balanced by making sure characters are designed to compliment the roleplay environment it represents:a light-hearted, slice-of-life-flavour Friendship is Magic roleplay. Remember this is strictly business, and this has nothing to do with you personally, or with our perception of your creativity. My apologies for not catching this earlier. We no longer use the UMAT to determine a unicorn's class; sorry if you found that in the old lore forum. I think her magic is adequately described in the rest of the application, so this can simply be removed. May I suggest a rewording to make this fit better with WoE? "Like all ponies, Calliope has some fears; she is slightly claustrophobic. Futhermore, as a result of her work she is also extremely cautious around the boilers, as she knows how dangerous they could be and wouldn't want to be responsible for any accidents or mishaps." We don't want any paranoia or any serious explosions in WoE. Once again, sorry about all the changes, and thanks so much for your cooperation.

Alright, just a few more changes to be made here. I'm sorry if I appear to be nitpicky about your character design, but it is important to us to keep World of Equestria balanced by making sure characters are designed to compliment the roleplay environment it represents: slice-of-life-flavour Friendship is Magic roleplay. Remember this is strictly business, and this has nothing to do with you personally, or with our perception of your creativity. This whole scene seems a bit overpowered to me, especially for a young unicorn whose magic hasn't quite reached its full potential. Even when Rarity got a burst of magic when she earned her cutie mark, all it did was lead her to the gems - it was the explosion from the sonic rainboom that caused the rock to break open. What do you mean by a zero-degree jar? absolute zero? Centigrade zero? Farenheiht zero? Absolute zero is impossible even today; it is only a theoretical value. The latter two are more possible, but does he use his magic to make the jars cold? You can certainly have your pony's magic be related to seeking out fallen stars, but you just need to be careful about keeping this magic well-balanced with the rest of who your OC is as a character. We don't want anyone to be too overpowered (commonly shortened to "OP", not to be confused with "original post" or "original poster"). I appreciate you've come a long way on this since first posting your application, we just need to reel that magic in just a little bit more. Not only is this a bit too dark and angsty for WoE, but this also is implying that all ponies in Canterlot are snobby and stuck up, and would criticize his work needlessly. A select few are, but Fancy Pants was a true gentlecolt, and Twilight Sparkle and her school friends grew up in Canterlot and are not. In WoE, we try to avoid stereotyping ponies who live in or are from a certain area to behave in a certain way. There's enough discrimination and negative stereotyping in the real world, right? Once again, let me know when you've made these changes, and I'll give the app another look.

"Fluttershy's not a tree, Dashie!"

Well hiya! Welcome to Canterlot! How long have you been a pegasister?

Hiya! Welcome to Canterlot! I see you've met Aubrey. In the future, try not to spam with so many posts in a row - there's an edit button at the bottom of each post for a reason. Hi, how are you? - I am well, how are you? Do you like pancakes? - I definitely do! How do I get into le chat room? It won't let me - I see Armony's answered this one for you; have fun! Do the human ponies creep you out? - Not at all Why or why not? - Because they're still someone's creativity, and they're still the same characters. Do you like s? - Not really. O-O <-- Does that look like a face? (It is...) - That looks like two Os and a hyphen to me.

Welcome to our little corner of the ponynet! So glad you're looking forward to getting into some RP soon!

Looks great Lime! Your doodles are definitely getting better and better!