CherryRie

No, you didn't. You've all been wonderful friends and dedicated members of this amazing community I thought I could do more, but when your life takes unexpected turns, you re-evaluate what you’re using your time on. Most of my time lately has gone into writing a fantasy comedy novel (working title ‘The problem of Evil’). Maybe when that’s over and done with, I’ll pop back in for a while, perhaps run some private RP’s.

Hello everypony. This will be my final entry within the realms of Canterlot. It’s interesting, deciding what to do with your life. In the last few weeks I’ve made some really big decisions about how I’m going to spend mine. As part of that soul searching I decided to find out whether the forum was a worthwhile bank in which I could invest, specifically the applications section which I’ve always wanted to be help staff in. Sadly, experiments into that field have found the system itself wanting, and I honestly don’t think my presence will make a jolt of difference in the long run. There are other things in the real world which loom on the horizon and I simply don’t have the time to dedicate any longer I’ve loved every second that I’ve spent here, among its wonderful caring people and rich community valuing friendship above all. To all my friends in this digital world, !THANKYOU! You have been wonderful companions on this sea of meme’s and shenanigans If I could upload myself to the WWW then I’d never leave, I’d want to be here forever! Now the time has come; Reality calls, the bell tolls, my life is measured in heart beats. Dio, thank you. For everything. You deserve more then what life has handed you, but then again we all do. Nothing in this pantomime is free, there’s always a charge for the best seats in the house… that and the ice cream is overpriced. Then again, this is the one show where everyone’s the star, so I guess the answer is to garb the best costume you can find and sing the loudest Have fun everyone! It’s been a blast Cherryrie signing out!

Peanut rubbed her chin ponderously, an action lifted cleanly from the ‘things what I learnt from watching Daddy’ book of child behaviour. “I dun’know.” The filly mumbled to the mustard coloured unicorn, “Then again, maybe that’d be better then bugging them to draw a squiggle on something? And they do have nice wings, all shiny and stuff. Mine never look like that.” As a line of ponies began to form up before the visiting celebrities, Peanut watched the succession of foals for an opening, not wanting to displace anypony wanting an autograph for the sake of a silly question. Nearby, Apple Bloom was still struggling upright, fighting her fever for a chance to meet the stars. Seeing that the mustard coloured colt wasn’t joining the small que, Peabee nudged him and pointed at the stricken Filly. “Hay, Snails. You think we can prop Apple Bloom up between us?” Guiding the sicky filly between them, the three stepped up behind Haywire and Sunrise, waiting while the other two ponies got the famous flyer to sign various objects. Noticing Spitfire finishing her signature for Purple Haze, Peanut licked her lips and made sure that Apple Bloom was upright before stepping away from the group. Quietly she waited for her chance to speak, patient but twitching restlessly. Why was she so nervous? This close up to a pony she’d only ever seen far in the distance, Snail’s susgestion didn’t seem like such a good idea. With one last glance around and butterfly’s throwing a party in her tummy, the filly bit her lip and stepped forward. “Umm, excuse me, Miss Spitfire?” She ventured, voice squeaking slightly as the fire maned mare was putting the last touches to Haze's autograph, “My friends said I should... umm, well I mean, it was really neat watching you fly an- and I was thinking how you keep your wings all shiny and where can I learn to fly like that?” Wings fluffing slightly across her flanks and dislodging a few stray feathers, Peanut beamed up at the older pegasus with a mix of friendly fassination and pride. Sure, that last bit had come out at such a rush that it'd barely made sence, but she had done it none the less! PeaBee had actualy ASKED somepony about flying!

Wonderful event everyone! A lot of talent has been displayed and a ruckus of fun has been had by all Can't wait for the next one

*judgement post* PeaBee Citizens from far and wide had descended upon this year’s Iron Pony contest, filling the proving grounds with what seemed like half of Equestria. Athletes from every corner of Equestria prepared mentally and physically for their allotted chance at gold. Adoring fans and onlookers alike rallied around their favourite events, cheering on the contestants from the sidelines. Excitement abounds, the day had yielded such contests of speed, strength and fineness as to bring a goofy grin of awe to the face of the pinto filly that now trotted through the gathered crowds. There had been the barrel run, cart pulling, tug of war and even an obstacle course! Peanut had particularly enjoyed the Cloud Diving; especially when that one stallion belly flopped so hard that he’d actually stayed on the surface of the lake! But now there were other things on her easily distracted mind. She was Hungry. This may seem like something of an inane statement, until you consider the context. When an adult feels a rumbling of the tummy, they calmly look for the nearest café or scrumshious looking patch of grass. However, when a six year old feels that they are ‘more hungrier then they ever been in their whole life EVER’, their first instinct is to find the nearest adult and whine at them until food materialises. Peanut Butter would usually be no exception to this rule, but having lost track of her parents a little while ago she was also vague aware that ‘bits’ were normally required to procure food from the ponies behind the numerous goody laden booths. In Peabee’s mind this merely meant that an extra slice of persistent drama was required, though so far the stall owners had been remarkably resilient to this normally sure fire tactic. Thus, deftly avoiding the threat of being taken to the lost and found tent, the paint filly found herself meandering through the contest grounds in search of a pony lacking immunity to puppy-dog eyes and a pitch of whine exclusively designed to set teeth on edge. Wafting across the bustling field on a gentle breeze, the tantalising smell of warm spongy treats caught her senses and drew the solitary foal like a siren song. Nosing her way carefully through the press of legs, the young Pegasus at last found herself stumbling into what looked like a communal picnic area. A large circular clearing played host to a long bench, set out before the queue she had inadvertently found herself at the tip of. Watching from the sidelines, dozens of ponies cheered as the last grains fell through the hour-glass and an earth pony at the far side of the table rang a large dinner bell. Two competitors slunk away from their respective tables, each sporting a heavily distended tummy and dragging the third, rather ill looking pony between them. Glancing upwards, Peanut squinted in concentration as she tried to decipher the large banner hanging above the collection of tables. Without much schooling, the deeper meaning behind the chicken scratches eluded her, though she was fairly certain that the doodles of ponies eating cupcakes meant it was some kind of buffe area. Noting that the end of the table was now deserted apart from a flustered looking unicorn with a clip board, the Pinto filly trotted through the last of the crowd as somepony nearby called “next competitors!” With a flutter of displaced fuffy down, Peanut pulled herself onto the long bench and peaked at the busy adult pony over the summit of the table... Or at least she would have done, had her attention not immediately been stolen by a mountain of cakey treats dropped from the rosy aura of magic that had lifted them from behind the judge’s table. Swirly icing buns, butterfly cakes and all manner of cupcakes were piled ten hooves high , a wonderland of sprinkles and sugar. Her gasp of surprise seemed to draw some of the judge, though the mare still seemed engrossed in her clipboard to notice that he next competitor was below the entering age. “Name?” She asked in a firm but polite tone, eyes still fixed upon her scribbling. Peabee snapped out of her salivations at the sudden question. “Umm, Peanut Butter?” “Great, another ‘P’. Oh I knew I shouldn’t have written this list alphabetically." Gubbled the judge, appyling a rubber to her notes "Oh well, good luck Miss Peanut.” A hue of rosy magic gripped a hammer from the table top. Peanut nearly jumping out of her skin when the bell sounded, a squeak of hinges indicating the hour glass had been turned over. Two ponies who had taken up station on the other tables and had started frantically attacking the deserts on their respective platters. “Excuse me.” Asked the filly, turning back to her own plate and peaking guiltily around the mountain at the attendant. “But what am I supposed to do?” “Just as the sign says;” Replied the unicorn, the mare’s gaze locked on the tower unblinkingly, as though she was expecting it to escape at any moment. “Thirty minutes, as many cupcakes as you can eat.” With a confused blink, Peanut turned her eyes back to the delicious pile and experianced a moment of crisis. “… does that mean all these are… mine?” “Uhuh.” It was as though Celestia’s sun itself had parted the clouds in PeaBee’s little world, illumining the mountain of treats with a heavenly glow. With a quiet squee of delight, she vanished head first into the heap of sugary goodness. Behind the table, the Judge ticked off the half way mark and blinked at the shuddering mound of cakes. It was getting smaller from the bottom upwards, but hadn’t collapsed yet onto the head of the nibbler. Leaning to look for her competitor, she found nothing but an empty seat speckled with a few stray feathers. Where had they gone? Worried the pony might have fainted from sugar overload, the unicorn wandered around to the front of her stand and lifted the hem of the table cloth. Nothing there either. Almost about to call it a ‘did not finish’, she gasped as the tower of cakes shuddered once more and emitted a muffled giggle of delight. Placing an ear to the mountain, the mare listened carefully to the munching coming from beneath the smears of icing and buns. Once again the mound shrank a little, this time clearly pulling inwards as something devoured it from the inside. “What in Celestia’s mane??” Queried the mare as she watched as the slowly collapsing summit folded to reveal a small, speckled muzzle still chewing away. With one more large bite that would have put a python to shame, a face covered in every colour of the rainbow emerged. Panic gripped the mare as she quickly reached in and scooped the foal from the seriously diminished pile. Her muzzle smeared in icing and mane coated with crumbs, the filly looked up at the shocked adult with a growing possessed grin. By the unicorn’s rough estimate, the filly must have eaten twice her body weight in sugar. “What are you doing here!” Yelped the judging mare, noting that one of Peanut’s eyes was gradualy defocusing. “Where are you parents! How did you-” “-I LIKE TURTLES!” Shrieked the filly, throwing her oversized wings in the air and knocking herself free of the adult’s grasp. Giggling manically, the foal hit the ground running, wings buzzing with excesses of energy as she dove through the crowd of spectators. A yell of ‘Tuuuurrratles!’ faded into the distance, leaving only an expanding cloud of feathery down and confusion.

YAY! Review time! While I'm not the best person to help (thats why we have awsome RP helpstaff on hoof ) I'll give it my best and hopefuly contribute something to the character development! Okay, lets start out by braking down what you've got so far and work from there. All pudy standard stuff in here, though I’m confused as to why you copy-pasted Rainbow’s suggestion. The real issues come into play during the Character summery. Presently it reads more like a eulogy then a biography, all built points and soulless monologue. All ponies strive, and we need to show how this particular character is driven. Are we saying she’s intelligent? What’s the impact of her forming a band? Are there those that feels she’s wasting her talents? Could a sense of rebellion be the original source of her foray into musical composition? An opportunity to advance our understanding of the character’s drives is being passed up on. Did she come from a background where instoments would be just laying around the house? Come to think of it, what were he parents like? Perhapse they didn’t encourage her, or maybe didn’t approve of such ‘brash’ instruments. Or what if they were total hippies, feeling that the rest of her education was irrelevant when she could produce such groovy tunes? Never the less, what I’m trying to convey here is ‘was it a special moment when she got her first guitar? Where did her first real six string come from and how did it change her life? Big moment here and its kinda been reduced to a single sentence. These are ponies thrown together by a single point of reference (in this case music), all of whom would have their own personalities and ambitions. Have things always been rosy between the band? What’s her relationship like with the other members? Do they take the ‘to become famous’ goal as seriously as her as they grew up? Who’s this lead guitarist? Will it be another player, or just an NPC supporting Punky? Was this battle of the bands at school? That’s what it sounds like anyway, though I doubt the record deal was something a school could afford. A record deal doesn’t sound like a star prise for a contest, unless it was huge and all the bands taking part already established and well known (in which case, how did they get to that sort of stardom in between times?). However, what could be a good prise is a one of contract to produce an album, or perhaps a free day at a professional recording studio. Here could be the ‘place where it all started’, the spark that ignited her true passion for music, revealed her cutie mark or showed her how she wanted to spend her life. To summarise; How did this moment change her life? What makes it important to her as a character? We’ve gone straight from ‘band with school friends’ to ‘super stardom’ with little to nothing in-between. But here you use a key phrase; ‘She sometimes wants to walk around and not be noticed’. Is her fame getting to her? Could it be that she made a mistake in joining the band? These are questions that might be bubbling over in her little mind, worrying thoughts that while untrue can sow the seeds of self doubt. All in all, what you have so far is a lattice, a basic idea of what you want this character to be that is awaiting the real meat to her personality. Remember, though you might be sure of what kind of pony she is, other players are ignorant of her personality, having only glimpsed it through this application. Sadly I don’t know all the rules and regs, and to be honest I’m not the best one to ask about how to proceed next. What you really need to do is absorb all the tips everyone has given you so far, step back and look at your app as though you’ve never read it before in your life. What would you think about this pony? Once you’ve made any changes you think are nessery, poke one of the RP helpstaff over PM like you have asked me and get them to walk through the new additions you’ve made. Getting a fresh opinion is always a great idea as the more eyes you have looking over your work the greater the final product will be Good luck hun, I look forward to seeing Punky in the RP threads! (Coppied from PM convosation. Thought I may as well add this here given you've already replied Rosy )

Glancing back at her bedraggled appendages, Peabee flushed slightly and gave them an experimental flap, dislodging a small flurry of down. “Yeah, Ma’ma usually cleans them with shampoo and Tup-an’-time to get all the oil off. I tried to wash them in the bath when I first got here, but the water just makes things worse.” She smiled, raising a hoof towards the seamless examples on the backs of the sports stars, “Dun-know what you’re supposed to do to make them all shiny like theirs.” A plaintive yell interrupted the train of Peanut’s thoughts. A few from the friends, the class had begun to gather around a shady tree, staring up into the branches where the stranded filly was clinging. “WOW!” Gasped the winged pinto, sounding genuinely impressed, “How did Haywire get up there??” "Uh Peabea!” Called Sails from the gathering crowd, “Kin Ah use yer coat as a safety net if ya hold th' other end?" Present conversation all but forgotten, the filly grabbed the long coat by one corner and swept it off the ground. Trotting over to the unicorn colt, she offered one of the four corners to Snails and called back to the other foals. “Quick! Grab a corner each an' pull!”