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Otsdarva

RP Certified
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About Otsdarva

  • Birthday 02/06/1989

Profile Information

  • Interests
    Racing, Monster Hunting, Making the right bowgun combo, writing, music, anime/manga, action movies, Mazda, and best for last...Ponies.
  • Location
    Florida
  • Gender
    Colt

Contact Methods

  • Skype
    mh4wheel
  • PSN
    mh4wheel

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Otsdarva's Achievements

Crazy Oatmeal

Crazy Oatmeal (4/9)

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  1. Just aimlessly listening to the Cowboy Bebop OST.  It's soothing with some of the more somber/slower songs playing.  By all means, do your ears a favor.

    Cowboy Bebop OST 3 Blue: Farewell Blues

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Otsdarva

      Otsdarva

      Nah, they've gotten over it.  It's rather quiet around there lately.  I just tried to get back into the RP there.  Feels so odd after not doing it for so long. XD  How about you? Things going well on your end of the line?

    3. LostSanity

      LostSanity

      Yeah. I found a replacement forum the exact day I got perma-banned and I've been there for over a year now.

      I quite like it. :)

    4. Otsdarva

      Otsdarva

      Great!  Sometimes it's best to just move on and put it behind ya.  I'm glad you're happy there!

  2. Hm... hm, I would probably say a 7/10. I know I have my flaws, but I'm working on them.
  3. Thank you! I... I'm at a, not a loss for words, but a direction to take them. The time I had spent with her, even with her sister always there were amazing. I would not be the man I am now if she didn't step into my life. It's... always complicated, but that's what makes relationships so rewarding! Being able to see the fruits of your labor pay off, to find you've met someone you seek to entrust you deepest secrets too! I dare say there's never a time when you're more vulnerable to be hurt than when you fall in love. What happens between her and I now... I don't know, she's happy where she's at right now and I can only turn my focus to my own happiness. I'm happy to have inspired you! It's been so long since I've just spent such a great deal of time just writing. Just throwing out the words as they came to mind and keeping from running on too much.
  4. Hm... it's been a long time since I've done something as brash as airing my laundry out for others. Perhaps it's the fact I'm restless at 5am with these thoughts gnawing away at me and the thought of putting this all into writing could help me with some kind of inflection. I want to say thank you for reading this, I hardly know many of the current people here, I sometimes shy away from posting because I don't see the familiar faces I long to see on the boards. To give me the time to read what's ahead, takes a tenderness and desire to hear out others you probably will never meet or care for outside of this board. I found a woman who changed my life for the better. She found a way to slowly pull me from my shell. I felt inspired to rise to every challenge before me, to make myself a better person and to broaden my horizons because of her, for her. Of all the women I've dated, none have had -such- a dramatic impact on my life! I truly loved her, part of me forever will. We've been broken up for almost a year now. We still keep in touch with each other... but loneliness has started to set in upon my life. I wish to return to the dating scene, but my meager funds are wrapped up in $3200 worth of hospital bills my previous job put me in but didn't cover. I'm going through a transitional period from one job to another, meaning I've no real money to spend on superficial things such as dating. This has only made my loneliness even more of a sore spot. I've been having feelings about my ex, ones that only come to you when you can no longer distract yourself by talking with friends or strangers and wind up spending the late hours of night awake with regrets, what ifs and false ideas. I desire her attention, I seek her affection again, despite how I feel her family is being manipulative, using her as a puppet. I still have so much I never got to say, things that I still wish I had. Wants I wish to let her know about. To give her that freedom she's always sought from her family. She just started a new relationship a few months ago and I have no desire to mingle or interfere, but at times like this, when I'm left with my brooding thoughts I find myself seeking a second chance. Soon as I find a way to sleep I will be fine, I'll awake with a clean slate and a better attitude. But these nights of restlessness have started to become more and more frequent, more and more vivid and the emotions they draw out of me are almost as raw and fresh as the day we were first pulled apart! I'm conflicted so much with the ceaseless back and forth my mind is going through and I just want some peace of mind. To put this pain behind me. Sometimes I still wish I could write as avidly as I used to... so I could better work out my feelings through the written word. So perhaps I'll try one more time to put everything I've wanted to say to her into one last passage, just so I can say I've said it, even if she'll never see it herself. == I still remember the days we spent together hanging out at the gym where you approached me first. I was simply there to lose weight and hopefully tone up when suddenly you started popping up in front of me while I was jogging on the treadmill or lifting weights. You would ask me how I was, ask what I hoping to accomplish and then brush my arm before saying you'll see me in the Zumba class. I hesitated, I was just coming down from a relationship and had started to see another woman who couldn't pull the trigger on her at then boyfriend that she no longer got along with. But whenever I stepped into the gym, you were immediately on my mind and it stayed that way for as long as I was there. You invited me to go swimming in the pool after class and at first I refused because of my indecision and I could tell it upset you. Then that day happened... I decided to bring my trunks and I got to see that beautiful face go from complete shock to a beaming smile when I was already in the water before you had even came out! I believe that was the first moment you swept me off my feet and I felt my heart soar. Then came the fourth of July. It had been four months of us playing coy and not really saying what we wanted to say, but I have to truly thank you for inviting me to the beach to watch the fireworks off the coast. That day was amazing! You looked so stunning in that swimsuit and my normally witty mind had turned to a stuttering, blushing mess. We walked the beach together, we played in the water and held hands as we tried to see how far out we could walk without the waves knocking us over. I loved the times when one of us slipped and the other wrapped their arms around them to hold each other up. As night came, we talked in private about what we wanted out of a relationship and sat together watching the fireworks. That was the night... as we rode home at 1am with you resting your head on my shoulder asleep, you were so peaceful, so lovely. I had made my decision, you were the one I wanted. By the end of the week I decided to break it to the other woman that had kept me waiting and it was painful to see how much she truly cared for me, but after all the months I spent showering her with my feelings not being returned... I couldn't bring myself to look back! You had stepped into my life and I wasn't going to do to you what she did to me. It wasn't until September though that I finally asked you to be my girlfriend. Hahaha, yeah, I really am slow, eh, Honey bee? I was so nervous I could hardly face you as we sat in the pool together, I had my body facing the wall, not wanting anyone else to see me for fear I'd burst of embarrassment. You looked so happy when I finally fumbled out the words. We wound up I guess 'dancing' in the pool? We'd hold hands and I'd pull you around before changing course or stopping and our faces would come inches from touching and I'd give you a quick wink. My mind is hazy right now about whether it was in the same night or the following one when we were 'dancing' for the second time and I finally mustered up the courage to kiss you! You had gotten so use to my teasing that you were genuinely surprised and took several seconds of just staring at me with red cheeks and wide eyes before throwing yourself into me as we made out for the first time right there, regardless of the camera watching or the nearby window. Your sister really didn't like me for that I feel, but I wouldn't change that moment for the world! It still stands as one of my favorite memories! How about our first Valentine's day? I asked to take you to the park and I had to fight your sister to convince her it wasn't to take advantage of you! We had a nice walk and we talked about your family and mine, how they differed and how we'd have to push each other forward to keep from backing down against either of them. How you wanted to tell me something but wanted to just enjoy the day with me and talk about it the next time. I then took you to an Italian restaurant, the one I'd taken you too on our first real date! We wound up waiting forever on service from a snippy waitress because a big Italian family of 14 was sitting next to us. My order cost more than yours and wasn't even anywhere near as big or filling. You asked if I wanted a bit of yours and as the proper gentlemen I thanked you for the offer but assured you I was fine with what I had. I'm pretty sure you knew I was full of it, but didn't want to push the issue if I was trying to be macho. Bwahahaha! I never got to hear what that story was though... I never got to know what that baggage was... I feel I should tell you my side of the events though. The wedding for my friend's sister was coming up and I was invited. You and I both agreed that your sister wouldn't approve of it since it required us getting a hotel room due to the drive. As the day started to come, I was told that the people I was riding with weren't going anymore so it would come down to me driving my car or renting one. Soon as I told my family that, the fighting started. I was being shouted down and brow beaten into submission. I insisted it was important only to be told I hardly hung out with them anymore. Then it turned to your sister. Joe had mentioned to my mom how your sister wanted to know why I hadn't invited you to go with me so he started pushing on mom so she pushed back, bringing up all the times I had to dance on eggshells around her just to see you. How she treated me like a predator. She was pissed at Joe, but after getting off the phone, I was the only one still there so I took the brunt of it. I argued against her, for your sister for two whole days. I'm sorry I didn't pick you up for the gym the next time, but I was still battling against her and it wasn't until the third day that I broke. That I finally had to back down. That Monday, your sister treated me like a complete scumbag, twisting her head in such ridiculous angles to avoid even seeing me in her peripheral vision. After all I had done, she didn't even dare to see what happened, just cut me off and did everything she could to keep you and I from having a moment together until it reached a point Joe had to intervene. Even afterwards it stayed the same, it took me almost a month to apologize to her. I had hoped we would mend fences but I arrived the next week at the gym to find her corralling you away from me and making her boyfriend talk about finding a new one for you, that he could beat the **** out of if they didn't act right. It opened my eyes to who she really was and devastated me. I know you love her as family and I would never seek to change that, but I felt I should do my best to get you away from her, in hopes that you could develop the strength to stand tall by yourself without always bowing to her for approval and permission. I then... I need to stop for now... my hands are shaking. I appreciate your audience, -Otsdarva
  5. I know this is a late reply, but I thought I'd chime in anyway. I hope things have gotten better for you, have they? The advice of the others in the comments are to be listened too. You're only as strong as you want to be! Strong people cry too, they cry a lot actually. Because they don't run from it, they overcome it. They become stronger and face the next challenge with a taunting grin and a middle finger raised high! You will find true friends in time, those who aren't just hanging around or avoiding you because of some silly high school status. I know at that point in life those things mean the world to many people, but life doesn't just stop after high school. It continues and so too must your spirit, must your perseverance. I can understand relationship issues, I'm terribly sorry that happened to you. It maybe hypocritical of me to say and the words will sound hollow, even painful right now... but there will be more. There will be another who finds you pretty and wishes to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
  6. Not wanting to let this funny thread fall into obscurity, I'm using a Phoenix down on this thread. 85. The opposite of being ridiculously powerful at magic: being so ridiculously weak at magic that you get migraines just doing the easiest of magic.
  7. “You don’t say? My stuff should be coming down from Canterlot on a train later today…If it wouldn’t be too much of a bother, I’d like to hire you to help—it shouldn’t be too much, I only lived in an apartment there for a few months after graduation…” "Coming back in from Canterlot, huh? I suppose I could lend a friendly hoof. We'll debate the price when I see how much I'll be moving. Till then..." Douglas said, giving his cone a lick. "Let's enjoy our cones before they melt." With that done, Douglas focused mostly upon his cone, making sure it wasn't going to start dripping. He was simply listening to the others talk when the owner of the stand came over and joined them as well. "Hey Lore, I have your usual here!" The pony spoke, it wasn't long though before Ms. Song saw her arrival as well and acted upon it. “Hello there! I’m sort of new, and I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before—my name’s Heart Song.” Letting out a chuckle, Douglas decided it would be best to show the store owner some gratitude as well. "Hello Miss, name's Douglas Trotter. Let me say, this ice cream is very good. I haven't had a good cone in a long time."
  8. Douglas chuckled to himself quickly before taking a lick of his cone. 'Ones only been here a few months and the other is just returning home after living abroad, huh? You sure pick 'em, Trotter..' Douglas thought before he noticed the attention had shifted onto him. It was nice to be socializing again, Luna knows how long it's been since the last time he got to hold a pleasant conversation. "Matter o' fact, I hail from Hoofington. I suppose you could say I'm a delivery pony. My trusty wagon and I haul whatever a pony wants hauled anywhere throughout Equestria. Ponyville is certainly one of the more pleasant stops I make." Douglas said, motion to his wagon off to the side of the street before giving his treat another lick. "In fact I just finished a run from Trottingham and I was looking for a nice way to unwind. It's nice speaking with y'all. Good company isn't always easy to find."
  9. "Here you go sir, enjoy!" Douglas reached out and took the cone. "Thank you very much, Ma'am." he said, as he stepped aside of the stand. He was going to simply return to his cart and enjoy his treat before moving on when another voice spoke to him. It was the mare who was in front of him in line! “Good day to you, sir. I’m Heart Song, this is Lore Weaver, and you would be?” Douglas looked over to the other pony she mentioned, the one that was behind him. 'Well shoot, you came here for a reason, Trotter. Why back off now?' he thought. Giving a toothy smile he looked back to the mare and answered. "I'm Douglas Trotter. Nice to meet ya, Ms. Song. As well as you too, Mr. Weaver." he finished, giving a quick nod to both ponies.
  10. Douglas was just quietly waiting in line as the mare ahead of him got her treat when a third pony joined in line behind him. Before he could turn around and look at this new pony the mare working the stand spoke in his direction. "Good afternoon, welcome to Frozen Delights, anything catching your eye?" Douglas gave a quick glance at the menu as he thought over his choices. 'Why do I honestly bother looking at the menu? I always get the same thing anyway.' he thought, smiling at the mare before finally giving his order. "Scoop of Chocolate in a cone, please." Douglas said, laying out the correct amount of bits for the order.
  11. Was quite a fun little event. Can't wait for what's next in the event line up.
  12. Douglas trotted along the roads of Ponyville, his wagon in tow. He had just finished a delivery from Fillydelphia and he was more than happy at the payoff he got. It certainly gave him an extra spring in his step. 'Things are looking on the up and up lately. Hopefully I'll be able to locate another pony who needs my services. I might actually knock the bills out on time this month!' He thought, letting his gaze wander across the town. As of lately, Douglas has found his business picking up substantially. So much in fact, that he was often unable to rest before the next order was in. He had been moving around quite a bit and now finally with Summer half way through and Fall only a few months away was he able to get some time to actually relax! Even then, he still wasn't sure if he already had his next client waiting for him back in Hoofington. 'You know what? I've earned a nice break. I think I'll just hang around Ponyville for the day!' He thought, as Douglas began looking for something that could occupy his time for the day. The sun was out, the air wasn't sweltering, it was a perfect day! What better time for a nice bite to eat. In fact, he remembered a place where two good friends once enjoyed a day with him. This time though, he'd actually get to try something on their menu. “Excuse me? I would like a scoop of raspberry sherbet in a cone, please.” Just then was Douglas brought out of his thoughts as he heard a mare speak at a passing ice cream stand. That's when the idea hit him, it's been ages since he's enjoyed a nice cone! Looking back at the place, he could see there was no line there except for the mare already being serviced. Douglas immediately looked around for a nice out of the way spot to place his wagon while he got himself a snack. Finding a safe spot just off the main street, he quickly unhitched himself and cantered back to the stand and got in line behind the Mare already there.
  13. Alright, cool. Checking it out now. EDIT: I was kinda expecting somepony else to start us off. I suppose we all get busy sometimes. I'll get my post up in just a few minutes!
  14. That's when realization finally hit Douglas like a brick. 'That's where I remember her!' he thought. His eyes opened wide as it came to him. 'That' Griffon. "Yeah, ah raced against her last year. The first Griffon to ever enter the Running of the Leaves! She was an absolute beast there too." Douglas said, figuring it polite not to mention her less than honorable moments from that day. Now remembering the Griffon, there was no questioning why she dominated the charts. Although Douglas had a little smile in knowing he'd have edged her out if he didn't touch that one barrel. That's when the mare suggested that she had better go. He quickly glanced at the board to get her name before voicing his opinion. "Ah don't think that's necessary Miss... Brick. Although if you feel comfortable with it, maybe the three of us could continue this little chatter someplace else." Douglas suggested.
  15. Douglas looked over at the Pegasus and joined him in his laugh. "Sure as shoot, lucky I didn't plow it right over!" he said, bringing a calm smile to his face. "The Name's Douglas Trotter, by the way. Nice to meet you!" Douglas introduced himself, figuring it better than leaving them to read it off the board. "Ah must say, this is my first Iron Pony competition. Shoot, last time ah was even 'in' Ponyville was durin' Nightmare Night last year. Ah certainly didn't expect to find 'this' when ah showed up today." Douglas turned his gaze to the course as he watched the Griffon more or less charge through the event. 'I jus' know I'll remember 'er the moment I leave town...' he thought as she finished the race. He slowly turned his view toward the attendant who he realized he didn't get the name of yet. 'I can't wait to see what kind of time she had.'
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