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Otsdarva

RP Certified
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    166
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16 Good

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About Otsdarva

  • Rank
    Crazy Oatmeal
  • Birthday 02/06/1989

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Colt
  • Location
    Florida
  • Interests
    Racing, Monster Hunting, Making the right bowgun combo, writing, music, anime/manga, action movies, Mazda, and best for last...Ponies.

Contact Methods

  • Skype
    mh4wheel
  • PSN
    mh4wheel

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. You receive a note: "Not in here." I insert a steam engine.
  2. Otsdarva

    Your Title

    Enough indeed, oh my. *ahem* Anywho, I've gotten some titles, or nicknames rather. There were a few I actually enjoyed. Such as Mr. Bean. Due to this video a couple of co-workers were reminded of when I started dancing the salsa at a company outing. I still get a chuckle out of that. I've also been called Rose (despite being a guy) because an ex said I was cute to look at but hard to hold on too.
  3. Just aimlessly listening to the Cowboy Bebop OST.  It's soothing with some of the more somber/slower songs playing.  By all means, do your ears a favor.

    Cowboy Bebop OST 3 Blue: Farewell Blues

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Otsdarva

      Otsdarva

      Nah, they've gotten over it.  It's rather quiet around there lately.  I just tried to get back into the RP there.  Feels so odd after not doing it for so long. XD  How about you? Things going well on your end of the line?

    3. LostSanity

      LostSanity

      Yeah. I found a replacement forum the exact day I got perma-banned and I've been there for over a year now.

      I quite like it. :)

    4. Otsdarva

      Otsdarva

      Great!  Sometimes it's best to just move on and put it behind ya.  I'm glad you're happy there!

  4. Hm... hm, I would probably say a 7/10. I know I have my flaws, but I'm working on them.
  5. Thank you! I... I'm at a, not a loss for words, but a direction to take them. The time I had spent with her, even with her sister always there were amazing. I would not be the man I am now if she didn't step into my life. It's... always complicated, but that's what makes relationships so rewarding! Being able to see the fruits of your labor pay off, to find you've met someone you seek to entrust you deepest secrets too! I dare say there's never a time when you're more vulnerable to be hurt than when you fall in love. What happens between her and I now... I don't know, she's happy where she's at right now and I can only turn my focus to my own happiness. I'm happy to have inspired you! It's been so long since I've just spent such a great deal of time just writing. Just throwing out the words as they came to mind and keeping from running on too much.
  6. Hm... it's been a long time since I've done something as brash as airing my laundry out for others. Perhaps it's the fact I'm restless at 5am with these thoughts gnawing away at me and the thought of putting this all into writing could help me with some kind of inflection. I want to say thank you for reading this, I hardly know many of the current people here, I sometimes shy away from posting because I don't see the familiar faces I long to see on the boards. To give me the time to read what's ahead, takes a tenderness and desire to hear out others you probably will never meet or care for outside of this board. I found a woman who changed my life for the better. She found a way to slowly pull me from my shell. I felt inspired to rise to every challenge before me, to make myself a better person and to broaden my horizons because of her, for her. Of all the women I've dated, none have had -such- a dramatic impact on my life! I truly loved her, part of me forever will. We've been broken up for almost a year now. We still keep in touch with each other... but loneliness has started to set in upon my life. I wish to return to the dating scene, but my meager funds are wrapped up in $3200 worth of hospital bills my previous job put me in but didn't cover. I'm going through a transitional period from one job to another, meaning I've no real money to spend on superficial things such as dating. This has only made my loneliness even more of a sore spot. I've been having feelings about my ex, ones that only come to you when you can no longer distract yourself by talking with friends or strangers and wind up spending the late hours of night awake with regrets, what ifs and false ideas. I desire her attention, I seek her affection again, despite how I feel her family is being manipulative, using her as a puppet. I still have so much I never got to say, things that I still wish I had. Wants I wish to let her know about. To give her that freedom she's always sought from her family. She just started a new relationship a few months ago and I have no desire to mingle or interfere, but at times like this, when I'm left with my brooding thoughts I find myself seeking a second chance. Soon as I find a way to sleep I will be fine, I'll awake with a clean slate and a better attitude. But these nights of restlessness have started to become more and more frequent, more and more vivid and the emotions they draw out of me are almost as raw and fresh as the day we were first pulled apart! I'm conflicted so much with the ceaseless back and forth my mind is going through and I just want some peace of mind. To put this pain behind me. Sometimes I still wish I could write as avidly as I used to... so I could better work out my feelings through the written word. So perhaps I'll try one more time to put everything I've wanted to say to her into one last passage, just so I can say I've said it, even if she'll never see it herself. == I still remember the days we spent together hanging out at the gym where you approached me first. I was simply there to lose weight and hopefully tone up when suddenly you started popping up in front of me while I was jogging on the treadmill or lifting weights. You would ask me how I was, ask what I hoping to accomplish and then brush my arm before saying you'll see me in the Zumba class. I hesitated, I was just coming down from a relationship and had started to see another woman who couldn't pull the trigger on her at then boyfriend that she no longer got along with. But whenever I stepped into the gym, you were immediately on my mind and it stayed that way for as long as I was there. You invited me to go swimming in the pool after class and at first I refused because of my indecision and I could tell it upset you. Then that day happened... I decided to bring my trunks and I got to see that beautiful face go from complete shock to a beaming smile when I was already in the water before you had even came out! I believe that was the first moment you swept me off my feet and I felt my heart soar. Then came the fourth of July. It had been four months of us playing coy and not really saying what we wanted to say, but I have to truly thank you for inviting me to the beach to watch the fireworks off the coast. That day was amazing! You looked so stunning in that swimsuit and my normally witty mind had turned to a stuttering, blushing mess. We walked the beach together, we played in the water and held hands as we tried to see how far out we could walk without the waves knocking us over. I loved the times when one of us slipped and the other wrapped their arms around them to hold each other up. As night came, we talked in private about what we wanted out of a relationship and sat together watching the fireworks. That was the night... as we rode home at 1am with you resting your head on my shoulder asleep, you were so peaceful, so lovely. I had made my decision, you were the one I wanted. By the end of the week I decided to break it to the other woman that had kept me waiting and it was painful to see how much she truly cared for me, but after all the months I spent showering her with my feelings not being returned... I couldn't bring myself to look back! You had stepped into my life and I wasn't going to do to you what she did to me. It wasn't until September though that I finally asked you to be my girlfriend. Hahaha, yeah, I really am slow, eh, Honey bee? I was so nervous I could hardly face you as we sat in the pool together, I had my body facing the wall, not wanting anyone else to see me for fear I'd burst of embarrassment. You looked so happy when I finally fumbled out the words. We wound up I guess 'dancing' in the pool? We'd hold hands and I'd pull you around before changing course or stopping and our faces would come inches from touching and I'd give you a quick wink. My mind is hazy right now about whether it was in the same night or the following one when we were 'dancing' for the second time and I finally mustered up the courage to kiss you! You had gotten so use to my teasing that you were genuinely surprised and took several seconds of just staring at me with red cheeks and wide eyes before throwing yourself into me as we made out for the first time right there, regardless of the camera watching or the nearby window. Your sister really didn't like me for that I feel, but I wouldn't change that moment for the world! It still stands as one of my favorite memories! How about our first Valentine's day? I asked to take you to the park and I had to fight your sister to convince her it wasn't to take advantage of you! We had a nice walk and we talked about your family and mine, how they differed and how we'd have to push each other forward to keep from backing down against either of them. How you wanted to tell me something but wanted to just enjoy the day with me and talk about it the next time. I then took you to an Italian restaurant, the one I'd taken you too on our first real date! We wound up waiting forever on service from a snippy waitress because a big Italian family of 14 was sitting next to us. My order cost more than yours and wasn't even anywhere near as big or filling. You asked if I wanted a bit of yours and as the proper gentlemen I thanked you for the offer but assured you I was fine with what I had. I'm pretty sure you knew I was full of it, but didn't want to push the issue if I was trying to be macho. Bwahahaha! I never got to hear what that story was though... I never got to know what that baggage was... I feel I should tell you my side of the events though. The wedding for my friend's sister was coming up and I was invited. You and I both agreed that your sister wouldn't approve of it since it required us getting a hotel room due to the drive. As the day started to come, I was told that the people I was riding with weren't going anymore so it would come down to me driving my car or renting one. Soon as I told my family that, the fighting started. I was being shouted down and brow beaten into submission. I insisted it was important only to be told I hardly hung out with them anymore. Then it turned to your sister. Joe had mentioned to my mom how your sister wanted to know why I hadn't invited you to go with me so he started pushing on mom so she pushed back, bringing up all the times I had to dance on eggshells around her just to see you. How she treated me like a predator. She was pissed at Joe, but after getting off the phone, I was the only one still there so I took the brunt of it. I argued against her, for your sister for two whole days. I'm sorry I didn't pick you up for the gym the next time, but I was still battling against her and it wasn't until the third day that I broke. That I finally had to back down. That Monday, your sister treated me like a complete scumbag, twisting her head in such ridiculous angles to avoid even seeing me in her peripheral vision. After all I had done, she didn't even dare to see what happened, just cut me off and did everything she could to keep you and I from having a moment together until it reached a point Joe had to intervene. Even afterwards it stayed the same, it took me almost a month to apologize to her. I had hoped we would mend fences but I arrived the next week at the gym to find her corralling you away from me and making her boyfriend talk about finding a new one for you, that he could beat the **** out of if they didn't act right. It opened my eyes to who she really was and devastated me. I know you love her as family and I would never seek to change that, but I felt I should do my best to get you away from her, in hopes that you could develop the strength to stand tall by yourself without always bowing to her for approval and permission. I then... I need to stop for now... my hands are shaking. I appreciate your audience, -Otsdarva
  7. I know this is a late reply, but I thought I'd chime in anyway. I hope things have gotten better for you, have they? The advice of the others in the comments are to be listened too. You're only as strong as you want to be! Strong people cry too, they cry a lot actually. Because they don't run from it, they overcome it. They become stronger and face the next challenge with a taunting grin and a middle finger raised high! You will find true friends in time, those who aren't just hanging around or avoiding you because of some silly high school status. I know at that point in life those things mean the world to many people, but life doesn't just stop after high school. It continues and so too must your spirit, must your perseverance. I can understand relationship issues, I'm terribly sorry that happened to you. It maybe hypocritical of me to say and the words will sound hollow, even painful right now... but there will be more. There will be another who finds you pretty and wishes to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
  8. Excited, overwhelmed and eager to jump right in. Season 2 teasers were just popping up or it had just started when I stumbled upon this place. It's been a heck of a ride and while my time got eaten up by other things it pulled me away. Seeing how this site has changed since then, I feel odd looking at it now. Almost like I'm new all over again, though now there's a slight apprehension to my posts as I feel myself getting nostalgic after logging in, missing the friends that used to be on here.
  9. The nail has been hit. Perhaps even on the head. You compromise, learn and grow together. Maybe even find new things you both enjoy doing together that you wouldn't have before. As for myself, I need to start flirting more, so many cute women about town. My last gf has already gone through two other men and I've been stuck focusing too much on work to get back in the dating scene. Quick question to the rest of you, how many of you have been able to maintain a level of friendship with your ex's? I ask because I just realized I was able to salvage and reform a friendship with all but one of my past ex's. Some of them I even went to for advice when I was still with my last ex and vice versa. No need to answer if you'd rather not, simply a curiosity I had.
  10. Howdy pal, how's it been? Welcome to the madhouse, hope you enjoy your stay!
  11. Nice to see I'm not the only Floridian here. I live 20 miles outside gainesville, Florida.
  12. Not wanting to let this funny thread fall into obscurity, I'm using a Phoenix down on this thread. 85. The opposite of being ridiculously powerful at magic: being so ridiculously weak at magic that you get migraines just doing the easiest of magic.
  13. “You don’t say? My stuff should be coming down from Canterlot on a train later today…If it wouldn’t be too much of a bother, I’d like to hire you to help—it shouldn’t be too much, I only lived in an apartment there for a few months after graduation…” "Coming back in from Canterlot, huh? I suppose I could lend a friendly hoof. We'll debate the price when I see how much I'll be moving. Till then..." Douglas said, giving his cone a lick. "Let's enjoy our cones before they melt." With that done, Douglas focused mostly upon his cone, making sure it wasn't going to start dripping. He was simply listening to the others talk when the owner of the stand came over and joined them as well. "Hey Lore, I have your usual here!" The pony spoke, it wasn't long though before Ms. Song saw her arrival as well and acted upon it. “Hello there! I’m sort of new, and I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before—my name’s Heart Song.” Letting out a chuckle, Douglas decided it would be best to show the store owner some gratitude as well. "Hello Miss, name's Douglas Trotter. Let me say, this ice cream is very good. I haven't had a good cone in a long time."
  14. Douglas chuckled to himself quickly before taking a lick of his cone. 'Ones only been here a few months and the other is just returning home after living abroad, huh? You sure pick 'em, Trotter..' Douglas thought before he noticed the attention had shifted onto him. It was nice to be socializing again, Luna knows how long it's been since the last time he got to hold a pleasant conversation. "Matter o' fact, I hail from Hoofington. I suppose you could say I'm a delivery pony. My trusty wagon and I haul whatever a pony wants hauled anywhere throughout Equestria. Ponyville is certainly one of the more pleasant stops I make." Douglas said, motion to his wagon off to the side of the street before giving his treat another lick. "In fact I just finished a run from Trottingham and I was looking for a nice way to unwind. It's nice speaking with y'all. Good company isn't always easy to find."
  15. "Here you go sir, enjoy!" Douglas reached out and took the cone. "Thank you very much, Ma'am." he said, as he stepped aside of the stand. He was going to simply return to his cart and enjoy his treat before moving on when another voice spoke to him. It was the mare who was in front of him in line! “Good day to you, sir. I’m Heart Song, this is Lore Weaver, and you would be?” Douglas looked over to the other pony she mentioned, the one that was behind him. 'Well shoot, you came here for a reason, Trotter. Why back off now?' he thought. Giving a toothy smile he looked back to the mare and answered. "I'm Douglas Trotter. Nice to meet ya, Ms. Song. As well as you too, Mr. Weaver." he finished, giving a quick nod to both ponies.
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