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QueenChrysalis747

Moonlite Frost[FINAL]

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Roleplay Type: World of Equestria

Name: Moonlite Frost

Sex: Female

Age: Mare (just turned mare)

Species: Unicorn

Eye Color:Ice Blue

Coat Color: Midnight Purple

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Flat Draped down Ice Blue Mane with a curly 'Fluttershy' style tail also Ice Blue but with white highlights

Physique: she has a very petite slender form but is also fairly tall only a bit smaller then a small Alicorn

Cutie Mark: A sapphire heart with small Angel wings

Origin/Residence: She was born in Canterlot where her parents reside but moved to a new home in another section of Cateog so she was still near home but fa enough away to have her own life as well.

Occupation: She works in the Canterlot Libaray

Motivation: She continues to aspire to be a great and valueable dress maker like the pony named Rarity and hopes one day to be as great as her.

Likes: Gems, beauty, books, magic.

Dislikes: She is fairly open minded but despises evil,though can look past evil for those who say they wish to change.

Character Summary:

History: She was a fairly friendly and warm pony as a foal and even as a Filly, she was always spending time with her friends and family. Her family was a loving and devoted family, but they held a dark secret Moonlite Frost never knew about, one that would almost cost her a sister. Her true father was gone he was making a trip to Fillypelphia and then just vanished, no one knows, or will say. Her mother was crushed and that's when a royal guard helped her, SharpPoint. Her and SharpPoint soon fell in love and married soon after Moonlite Frost was born. Her foal years were warm and close as SharpPoint treated her as his own and she always had him near. She soon grew up and joined school where she was a superb student and was a warm and friendly foal. She made many foal friends but as school neared and end they slowly dispearsed. It was around that time that her sister, EmeraldHeart, was born. She raised her sister with the utmost love and care and her sister was an adventurous one. As she went through he Filly years the bond with her family grew and grew, until just before marehood, where it took a bad turn. Her sister found out the truth while exploring her parents room and ran away into a blizzard. Moonlite yelled at her mom and ran out to find her sister, and when she returned her actions earned her cutie mark. It was several hard years before the bond was reformed and the family became happy again, But by this time Moonlite wanted to see the world and learn magic. She left her family to explore Greater Equestria in hope to find friends and learn more about magic and her true potential. She roamed all the land as she had heard of a great magical made named Twilight Sparkle but has yet to find this Unicorn. She eventually realized that even thought the lands are wonderous she needed to be near home and returned to Canterlot and her family. A year later she got a job at the Canterlot Public Library and soon made enough money to buy a house. She moved out, but not too far and always visits home. She now begins to start her own life, but before she finds that special pony she wants to make more friends and awaits her Filly siste to gain her cutie mark.

Cutie Mark Story: It was a late cold season when the events that lead to Monlite Frost gaining her cutie mark happened. Her foal sister, EmeraldHeart, had been playing in her parets room when she came across some papers that told of a dark family secret. She screamed at er mother for lyong and ran out of the house. But a bad Snowstorm has rolled inthat fay and Moonlite yelled at her parents for lying and ran after her sister as her her mother cried and SharpPoint comfoted the upset mare. Moonlit searched for a hours to find her distraught sister and finally found her huddled under the slide at the school's playground. Moonlite Frost shielded her freezing and sick sister as they made the nearly mile trek back to there house. When she arrived they both passed out from exaugstion. Immediately upon waking up she ran to her sister's side, her mother said that she was fine and said that if it wasn't for her she might not have made it. It was then that Moonlite Frost saw her Cutie Mark appear, a sapphire heart with wings. It showed how she was a guardian angel for those she loves and cares about and also how valuable her heart is but how fragile it can be.

Personality: Moonlite Frost is a loving and caring pony with a big enough heart to vie love to any pony who is true at heart and wishes nothing but good to the world. But unfortunatly she sees a lot of ponies, even thoughs who have done great evil, as good ponies and that any evil can be looked past so long as they show and promise that they have changed for the better which can get her into some bad situations. Even so she is a down to Equestria and loyal to rule pony, she doesn't like to break the rules of she doesn't have to and will only dare do that for loyal and true friends and family. But she is a shy mare none the less, and will usually shy away from a pony at first meeting but given a bit of time and some small talk she can open up and be the most loyal and loving friend you have. But beware, if you mistreat her and betray this trust she will be shattered and outcast you for sometime, not accepting you are there anymore. She can be irrational at times but tries her best to make the best decisions that will help everyone be happy; especially friends and family.

Attached is her pic minus Cutie Mark

post-4054-0-79555700-1341246652_thumb.pn

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First of all, OC's can't have previous relationships with cast characters, so I don't think that Moonlite's training under Rarity is allowed.

Secondly, her origin/residence is a place such as Manehatten or Canterlot.

Lastly, you could do with expanding the summary. Try adding things like her relationship with her parents, a bit about her history, a full explanation about her cutie mark story and expanding on her personality, and why she's the pony she is today.

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Nice looking App. There aren't many dressmakers that are very active, and some more ponies like Rarity could be useful :) But, some small problems still are in your app, some big and some small.

1) The back story is a little too general. It hardly talks about her past in very much detail. Some more information on her relationship to her parents and her sister could help. Also some information on why she left and some information on her early life relationships to her friends and school and stuff like that, remember to be descriptive and creative! :D

2) Unfortunately, she cannot live in Ponyville, there is an overpopulation problem in Ponyville. There are other cities check The World of Equestria to see other places to live.

3) Working in the Ponyville library isn't allowed. D: It would require a previous relationship with Twilight, and that goes against the rules.

4) The cutie mark story is a bit off. You say that she looked around in a bad snowstorm for hours, but carrying her sister in a "mild trek" back to the house was exhausting? Also, what were her parents doing? Did they just forget about her sister or were they worried? It seems like the story could be so much more revealing for her character than it is now.

Besides this, your app looks good :) Post again when you revise it!

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Her true father was dead, he had abused and hurt her mother before she was born and almost caused her to die while her mom was pregnant with her. Her mom finally called the royal guard and they protect her and drove him out, he was attacked by bandit ponies near the outskirts of Equestria and never died soon after.

This part is too grimdark, ponies don't abuse eachother, especially mares carrying a foal.

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The dad's backstory is a little grimdark still and out of the show's nature....

Perhaps, instead of her dad dead, he was never seen again? And maybe for a different reason than being in a conspiracy group?

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I did eliminate his death.

And any suggestions cuz I got nothing, without him being abusive or a conspirator whats left that would cause the royal guard to come and drive him out?

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He could just not have been driven out. Maybe he just disappeared on an adventure or something and her mom started to date the Royal Guardspony.

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And any suggestions cuz I got nothing, without him being abusive or a conspirator whats left that would cause the royal guard to come and drive him out?

Those things are just kind of atypical of the life we've seen in FiM. :/ Is it critical to the character that she doesn't have a father?

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Yeah kind of makes the entire reason she has her cutie mark because without this secret her sister wouldn't have ran away making he find her.

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If he disappeared, she could still go look for him.

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Ok revised again, made sure story stayed pretty clean. Hope this will be accepted soon want to get started on my new charrie

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Excuse me just wanna know how long till I become a role player? Like how long till my title changes and I can post?

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