Razor-Griffon[Final]

[ShadowWalking18]

((Edited him a bit to cover some changes to his character due to rp and to lore changes. Also wanted to iron him out more. If this is not okay I have his original bio saved))
 

 

(((Picture courtesy of CanvasMayHogany. Did an awesome job )))

 

 

Roleplay Type: Equestria Mane

Name: Razor. Full name is Razor Ironclaw.

Nicknames: None, though can certainly gain some.

Sex: Male

Age: Young Adult

Species: Griffon

Eye Color: Suffers heterochromia, has one black eye, one hazel eye.

Physique: Slightly smaller then most griffons, and at times some ponies. Lean athletic build.

Coat Color: Peregrine Falcon head, with blue-grey feathers. Pale sandy-yellow fur on his cat side.

Hair/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Has the usual style of head feathers like most griffons though they tend to be preened to one side to cover one eye from view, but not to bother his vision. The way the feathers trail differs so on no two days is the same eye showing more then once, hence on say one day his black eye will be showing only for the next day will his hazel eye be uncovered. Three head feathers are slanted to point upwards at an obtuse angel and the left and right are pointed to in opposite directions with the central pointing straight.

Origin: Rockwington

Occupation: Part time delivery griffon and racer, has some tailoring skills*but doesn't want anyone to know so he doesn't advertize it* As well he does all sorts of other jobs here and there, even considers doing a bodyguard job. After all he can look menacing enough.

Motivation: To prove himself to be the best at anything he sets his mind to and to show that just because he is small doesn't mean he is weak, especially seeks to prove this to his father.

Likes: Music, Flying, Griffons, Flying at really high speeds and pulling off tricks without any thought of his own personal safety, singing when he is alone, when alone and stressed he will tailor something or draw up designs for clothes and other items of fashion.

Dislikes: Not being able to fly, ponies or griffons finding out his secret skill for tailoring clothes, bad fashion*having learned to tailor it has given him a bit of an eye for it.* Bullies. Getting wet.*Hates it more then anything*

Character Summary: Razor was born into a well off family of griffons. His father was a semi-retired general, and his mother was a seamstress and part time singer, though she only ever sang for her children and her husband. He is the third child of four, two older brothers and one younger sister, but something was off with Razor....he was slightly smaller then most griffons. This difference in height made him a target for the other kids, as well as his brothers, and he was always picked on for his smaller then normal stature. This would eventually cause him to develop a cold exterior and some anger problems, especially when it came to dealing with bullies.

There were only a few things that made Razors life enjoyable, one was his love of flying. He would sometimes sneak away in the early hours of the morning and practice his flying skills in the outskirts of town. He would try harder and harder tricks without a care of the risk, this would inevitably cause him a few injuries, but luckily nothing serious...though he did have a broken wing at one point and the inability to fly nearly drove him MAD! Of course during this time he developed a skill that, while he found soothing, he felt would only make him more of a target that he would keep it hidden from EVERYGRIFFON.*I guess thats what griffons would say instead of everypony*

Now the second thing that made his life worth ignoring the bullies of his youth was his mother and his sister. His sister, Glimmer is very precious to him, and he will go to any length to keep her safe. His Mother offered him a shoulder to keep him up when his spirits were down, and when she grounded his brothers for picking on him was also fun to watch. It was also his mother that gave him a skill that while he found his skills with the cloth and needle. After a rather, as his parents said STUPID, attempt at a double spiral flip spin trick that landed him in the hospital for a week while his wing healed, Razor was ready to jump on the walls with bordem and it was here when his mother thought of a way to keep her son distracted from his lack of flying.

One day while Razor sat in the bed, counting the tiles of the hospital room for the seventh time, his mother came in for a visit only this time...with knitting needles and yarn in tow. Razor felt his life was about to end, and tried his best to say no....but eventually he gave in to his mothers almost constant nagging and gave knitting a try...and he found that he liked it as it kept his mind off his current perdicament. And so it was that over the days as he healed, Razor would try various tailoring skills and methods with his mother and sister but he kept such a thing a secret. While tailoring is not his bread and butter, he will admit it helps him relax and take his mind off things when he is unable to fly or has nothing better to do.

After his injury had healed, Razor found himself face to face with a rather....nasty predicament. He had been ambushed by his brothers and there friends and as usual they poked fun at his size. It was here that Razor finally snapped and challanged them all to a race. The bullies laughed and agreed, thinking that he would be easy to beat. Razor was intent on showing they were wrong. At the start of the race, Razor felt his heart beating fast and adrenaline building up and when the flag waved he took off as fast as he could. It was here that Razor found that while he was probably not the strongest physically nor the biggest....he was fast. And boy did he love being fast. Razor felt as if the wind was propelling him forward and he soon passed his brothers and their friends in no time before finally crossing the finish line well before any of them.

After his stunning victory they never bothered Razor again, and for first time Razor felt like he was ontop of the world. But it didn't last, because while he felt that as long as he worked hard he could shut anyone who thought he was weak up, there was still one individual he felt he could never impress.

His father. Or perhaps more likely, Razor himself felt he could not live up to his fathers expectations.

His father, Ironclaw, is a well respected general of the Aquillian army, and his lineage extends back through history of dozens of great military minds and strong warrior griffons. Even today his father casts a big shadow that Razor feels he can't get out from under. His brothers have all proven themselves to him, but how could he? He didn't know and the thought of not being able to at least gain his fathers respect drove him crazy.

Finally, after reaching a mature age he left home to try and find a way to prove himself fully to his father, and to prove to the world that he wasn't a push over because he was small.



Additional Information: Razor has an average griffon attitude, which can make some social times with ponies he is unfamiliar with tricky as he can come off as hostile or rude. In fact, at times that's how he comes off as. Still he usually can be socialable and less antagonizing if he sees a reason to do so.

Is also very protective of his sister, and when she is around he will act almost like a slave for her doing and getting her whatever she wants. Does he care that this might spoil her a bit....not really. He loves her and thats all that matters to him.

Razor has a bit of trouble when it comes to members of the opposite gender. Its not that he doesn't like girls, he would love to one day maybe have a family....its just.....he can't work well with them. In fact, girls tend to scare him to the point of going unconscious if one gets to close. He doesn't know where this irrational fear extends from, and his mother and sisters continuous attempts at getting him hitched certainly doesn't help. All he knows in the end is, if a girl gets to close he gets really flustered or worse acts like an gibbering idiot. Very embaressing.

He is a griffon that prefers his privacy and tends to avoid big social events if he can.

Recent Events

Has a great fear of travelling through Ponyville due to a few....back problems.

Is a bit more kind when it comes to acting in a social surrounding due to actually making some friendly acquaintances. Though his griffon attitude still crops up every so often.



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Canterlot Chronicles Only Information

Has extensive military training and education. He knows how to fight with his claws and with a blade. Though he prefers using speed and agility to compensate for his lack of brute strength.

((not sure if I should make a separate app for his use in CC))

[Mojo]

Hi there!

This looks like a strong app! The backstory is well written and it is interesting that with these many physical as well as social traits, this is no ordinary 'run of the mill' griffin! Nicely done for originality!

One issue that concerns me that should be address in this app. Since Razor will be in the Mane RP, it begs the question of how he responds to and interacts with pony folk. Obviously, he is a warrior, so would he view ponies as inferior and want to have as little to do with them as possible? True, girffins like Gilda don't have a good view of most ponies, but that griffin baker Le Claire in "MMM Mystery on the Friendship Express" certainly does! May I suggest that you offer a bit more on how Razor interacts (good and/or bad) with ponies?

[ShadowWalking18]

Sure thing. Getting on it now.

Update: Hows that?

[ShadowWalking18]

Just incase ya didn't know, updated it to tell how he deals with ponies. Think it works well enough.

[Mojo]

I like this! Good improvements here!

I'll recommend this app to Senior RP staff to move it along further in the process!

:D :D

[ShadowWalking18]

Thank you

[ShadowWalking18]

How long does the app process take anyway? Kinda new to it still, and just wondering how long one usually waits for an accepted app.

[Mojo]

How long does the app process take anyway? Kinda new to it still, and just wondering how long one usually waits for an accepted app.

Please be patient, ShadowWalking18. I'm sure a Senior RP Helper will be evaluating this great app soon.

[ShadowWalking18]

*waits patiently*

[Imagination]

Hello there!

For future reference, application assessment can take some time considering either the backlog of applications piling up (We get on average a half dozen new apps a day, if not more!) or the scarsity of available staff (end of summer things keeping everyone occupied), or both! With these things in mind, it may unfortunately take some time to get to certain applications.

Now, onward!

An interesting concept, however I'm afraid there are a few glaring things that need to change:

1. Any mention of blood and gore. You have to keep in mind that this is supposed to be a family friendly RP environment. Think G-rating! That being said, the description of fighting the bore and the mention of being covered in blood needs to go/ be revamped in order to be more appropriate.

2. I think there's a little too much emphasis on the warrior/ hunter/ killer of the character. Again, think G-rating. Think of a way you can convey your character being a proud warrior without having to involve the dirty, messy business it involves. For example, we have several military characters out and about in our RPs, though we have no combat in Mane RP. They find ways to be soldiers without having to be killers.

I'm aware that this is a griffon and not a pony, however I'm afraid the rules still stand. Besides, take Gilda as an example. She was a griffon too! A fiesty one at that! But it was never really even implied that she belonged to some fearsome predatory race at all. She was just kindof a jerk!

Hope this helps! If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask

[ShadowWalking18]

Hello there!

For future reference, application assessment can take some time considering either the backlog of applications piling up (We get on average a half dozen new apps a day, if not more!) or the scarsity of available staff (end of summer things keeping everyone occupied), or both! With these things in mind, it may unfortunately take some time to get to certain applications.

Now, onward!

An interesting concept, however I'm afraid there are a few glaring things that need to change:

1. Any mention of blood and gore. You have to keep in mind that this is supposed to be a family friendly RP environment. Think G-rating! That being said, the description of fighting the bore and the mention of being covered in blood needs to go/ be revamped in order to be more appropriate.

2. I think there's a little too much emphasis on the warrior/ hunter/ killer of the character. Again, think G-rating. Think of a way you can convey your character being a proud warrior without having to involve the dirty, messy business it involves. For example, we have several military characters out and about in our RPs, though we have no combat in Mane RP. They find ways to be soldiers without having to be killers.

I'm aware that this is a griffon and not a pony, however I'm afraid the rules still stand. Besides, take Gilda as an example. She was a griffon too! A fiesty one at that! But it was never really even implied that she belonged to some fearsome predatory race at all. She was just kindof a jerk!

Hope this helps! If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask

Okay, took that into account and after some soda, watching a few episodes and being attacked by my cat*wittle baby kitten she is* I made some changes....think its good now...I hope.

[Mojo]

ShadowWalking18, another Senior RP Helper looked over your edited app, and they asked me to point out two things to you:

First, the stated speed of Razor. 200 mph is too specific, they said. Since other griffins and Pegasi have not had their speeds measured in MPH, there's no real way to compare. I would suggest using more genetic terms like "can fly fast" or "one of the fastest fliers among griffins" or something like that.

Second, the part about where Razor wants to find "a certain Sonic Rainboom flyer" and try to better her. It hasn't been established that any other creature (Pegasi or griffin) can do a Sonic Rainboom other than Rainbow Dash. Also, there is a rule in apps that no OC can have a previous relationship of any kind with any Cast characters without that RPer's permission. This 'pursuit', in their opinion, seemed to violate this provision.

If you take care of these two things, I believe your app will be acceptable!

[ShadowWalking18]

all fixed.