37 replies to this topic

[TheInvisiblePony]

Yes, and perhaps through skillful hiding of our schemes, we could even get the heroes to work at the frozen yogurt/coffee shops in their mild mannered disguises! Oh, just think of the delicious irony of them helping us fund our schemes!

[UnitP0N13]

Heh. Delicious. Heh. You know, becuase yogurt is delicious? Heh, I thought that was funny..

[TheInvisiblePony]

Oooo save that one for the witty banter. Isn't that an important part of villainy?

[HarringtonSleuth]

Indeed. I'll be off to set up shop. I'll be keeping the banter in mind as I dupe the heroic hired hands. What other way is there to serve the nectar of the gods?

Blacker than a moonless night...hotter and more bitter than Hell itself...that is coffee.

[Star1228]

And I'll be off with Harring to set up the yogurt. Remember to think up of many witty taunts for me!

[Chonico]

...

I remember when being a villain meant something. Take a school bus hostage. Hold the mayor hostage. Threaten people with death rays! We used to rob banks to get our funds for evil schemes fro crying out loud! Not... ugh... "work" for money selling coffee and yogurt.

Can I suggest we rob a bank for good ol'time's sake? I hear the one down the street, after you turn a right after exiting the swamp, has a very elderly security guard with a hip replacement.

Also, Legion members should get discounts at the yogurt and coffee shop... Just throwing that out there.

[HarringtonSleuth]

I will keep that in mind. But honestly, bank robberies are old-hat and any common criminal can do it. If you're going to rob them, you need to be sneakier about it. Put up a legal front for it. Besides, I honestly can't afford to accumulate consecutive life sentences like a ton of old-time villains did. Rob them in a way that they can't complain about. Prey on their stupidity. Trap them in a cycle that they can't get out of. How do you think the government makes all the money they "need" for their "solutions" to the country's problems? (Well, the problems that we don't cause.)

[TheInvisiblePony]

But that's just it, we aren't the government. Sure, there are a few 'life sentences' (trivial really, everyone knows its easy to break out) if you get caught, but isn't that the beauty of it? An actually clear cut, do or die, pass-fail test of villainy. Perhaps any common crook can rob a bank, but why just rob it? What we need is style. When I think of a villain, I picture a mad scientist behind the wheel of a giant robot. A gentleman thief so polite that people don't even seem to realize they're being held at gunpoint until later. A clown burning money because sending a message is more important. I believe we want the public to know we're evil, simply so they can know we are awesome because of it.

The people know its us, the police know its us, the entire population of the planet knows its use, and yet they can't touch us, because we are just too good at getting away with the crime! Even if we fail, they remember it, and we still win!

[Thoth]

ME, SOLOMON GRUNDY...THINK WE SHOULD ROB....A LIBRARY!

[HarringtonSleuth]

...Why?

And what I was thinking is that after they get far enough into this cycle, we start ever-so-slightly increasing our prices. By the time they figure it out, we're outta there. Besides, this is just phase 1 of the plan: fund our operations to do much more dastardly things.

[Star1228]

Chonico, on 03 September 2012 - 01:56 AM, said:

...

I remember when being a villain meant something. Take a school bus hostage. Hold the mayor hostage. Threaten people with death rays! We used to rob banks to get our funds for evil schemes fro crying out loud! Not... ugh... "work" for money selling coffee and yogurt.

Can I suggest we rob a bank for good ol'time's sake? I hear the one down the street, after you turn a right after exiting the swamp, has a very elderly security guard with a hip replacement.

Also, Legion members should get discounts at the yogurt and coffee shop... Just throwing that out there.

Thats a good idea so we can get more money! I'll call my old friend doc brown to see about a death ray to use. WE WILL PULL OF THE BEST BANK ROBBERY IN THE HISTORY OF BANK ROBBERYS!

[Thoth]

HEAR SOLOMON GRUNDY OUT


WE ROB LIBRARY TO TAKE BOOKS FROM KIDS.  KIDS BECOME DUMBER BECAUSE OF MISSING BOOKS.  WE SELL BOOKS BACK, AND MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY LASER GUN!

[starswirlthebearded]

They all just want a pair of pants!

Oh and perhaps a utility belt like Batman's...

So I say hit a mall, steal some pants and things that would be useful in a utility belt!

[HarringtonSleuth]

Grundy, kids have the Internet. They won't be affected in the least bit if we rob a library.

[TNH]

Oh oh oh! I have an idea... but this one's a real stretch, just hear me out. What if we tried... TO STEAL CANDY FROM A BABY!

[Thoth]

SOLOMON GRUNDY LIKES CANDY!

[TheInvisiblePony]

Perhaps, but that would be rather easy... what if we took candy from EVERY baby? You know, just to show people we aren't to be messed with.

Plus, all that candy could then be used for evil. Somehow.

[Star1228]

..could we use that candy for my frozen yogurt?