Prince Artemis (Crossover Application) Final

[QuickLime]

Roleplay Type:Crossovers (Au: GenderSwapped Project)

Name: Prince Artemis

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Alicorn

Eye colour: Shallow waters blue.

Coat: Midnight blue.

Mane/Tail: Mane and tail are royal blue on the inside, and sparkle like stars, his mane is layered and hangs in his face in jagged strands, while his tail is long, flowing softly, and seems to billow endlessly without the aid of the wind.

Physique: He is a stallion of slight stature, thin and willowy, but has defined chest muscle, and a bold stance, though as his powers are more soft like the moon's light, he reflects that in his physic

Residence: Canterlot Castle

Occupation: Riser of the Moon, and Overseer and Defender of dreams.

Cutie Mark: His cutie mark is a crescent moon atop a background of midnight black, that covers half of his flank in a half circle shape :

[colour=#282828]History: Artemis was born the youngest prince, his elder brother was destined to raise the sun, and he the moon. His cutie mark was unique in such a way that he was born with his. Other young ponies those that came before and after him, learned what their special talent was, his was a predetermined destiny, and from the moment he was able to walk and talk he was captivated with the night, the peace and calmness it carried, and was close to his mother, who raised the moon. He knew one day that he would take on her position.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]In time the job became his, and at first he was proud of himself ! He raised the moon each night, and filled a brilliant night with stars and the soft, beautiful glowing moon![/colour][colour=#282828] His job did not end there, he also was capable of projecting his consciousness into a “dream form” that allowed him to spend his nights wandering through his subjects minds. He cleared any nightmares bothering them, and for a long time this was a satisfying and comforting job.. but over time, Artemis started to feel resentful...[/colour]

[colour=#282828]His brother received praise and thanks for his glorious sunrise, and he basked in the praise, and glowed with a sense of purpose and pride. In fact his brother was so busy being loved and important that Artemis felt the others had no time for him! When they were foals they were so close, and growing up they learned their talents together! But now?! Ponies praised the bringer of the day, but acted like the bringer of the night and the comforter of their dreams didn’t exist![/colour]

[colour=#282828]It was outrageous! Artemis deserved love and adoration too! He deserved his brothers love, and the respect of his subjectst! It was so upsetting that Artemis grew ever more withdrawn. His brother didn’t notice his anger and heartache, until the day his younger brother who stood atop a balcony, his eyes glowing with a strange pulsing energy, refused to lower the moon. His coat, normally a lovely midnight blue, had been eclipsed with a deep black, his eyes now a brilliant topaz, with slit pupil. He was adorned in dark armor, his mane and tail now nothing but living starlight. He had been so vulnerable that it had been enough for dark forces to take over, and he refused to lower the moon, and cried out that he would make others adore his night! They would have no choice! It would last forever![/colour]

[colour=#282828]A battle was fought, brother against brother! The Prince of the Sun did what he could to stop his brother, but realized too late that his neglect had hurt him more than he had thought, and that his brother felt truly alone and unloved. Now Artemis was so dark and tainted that he would not be stopped, and the Keeper of the Sun made the hardest choice he'd ever had to! Using the Elements of Harmony, he banished his young brother to the moon for a thousand years, hoping and praying that in that time the darkness that burned in his brothers heart would cool. He took on the duties of both the Sun and the Moon, but was unaware of his brother had walked among the dreams of their subjects and kept the nightmares at bay. Thus for the first time in centuries ponies knew of nightmares and fear in their dreams, but blamed these on the Nightmare in the Moon, not on their ruler .[/colour]

[colour=#282828]After a thousand years the spell was broken, and the Dark Horse was freed! Still the hate burned fierce with time and banishment! However the combined strength of six new wielders of the elements of Harmony was strong enough to knock the dark force from Artemis’s heart. He awoke, weak, and temporarily powerless, seeing clearly for the first time in so long. His brother was standing over him, offering both friendship, forgiveness, and what Artemis had wanted the most..love. He stated that they were meant to rule together, not apart, and that he needed Artemis, and Artemis knew he needed his brother as well..[/colour]

[colour=#282828]After a year's time Artemis resumed his duties, growing back in strength and power, and once again began to calm the troubled nightmares of his subjects.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]Character Summary: Artemis is a quiet, and thoughtful stallion, that speaks mainly when he wishes to be heard, and when feels he has something to say. He can be bold, and is a touch arrogant, which is to be expected of one born to royalty. The thousand years he spent away left him out of the loop, so he doesn’t understand some modern concepts, and tries very hard to keep himself together and composed. In his attempts to seem calm and IN CHARGE! he speaks in the powerful and booming voice that was once used to command respect. What is he is learning that now, though? Not so much..[/colour]

[colour=#282828]He loves stargazing, reading quietly, and enjoys long moonlight walks, but has recently been learning some of the joys of the day, and is trying harder than ever to be involved with his subjects, as he truly wishes for them to love him, as strongly as he loves them. He is working very hard to earn their forgiveness for the deeds he did as the Nightmare Stallion of the Moon.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]He doesn’t wish to be feared any longer, he wishes for the same things he wanted back when he and his brother were younger, to be loved, respected and noticed.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]Thankfully the citizens of Equestria now realize they should love both rulers, not just praise one, and while the recovery has been tricky, Artemis is starting to feel like he truly has a place among his people, and a place beside his brother as Riser of the Moon, and Guardian of his citizen’s dreams.[/colour]

The Song that inspired the App :

(click it)

(Art is not mine ofcourse it belongs to kaninerochkaninungar of Deviantart.com)

[QuickLime]

Note, I know this is a crossover app, however I'd like some critic as if it were WOE I want to perfect the app, granted I know certain elements are not WOE canon so feel free to judge those on your own merit.

[VioletAllure]

I know I'm hardly qualified, but logged on and this caught my eye.

You tell a really fun story, and it feels like you've captured Luna's personality well.

There are a number of niggling grammatical issues, especially in the history section, mostly to do with switching mid sentence between past and present tense, but a couple of places where pronouns get misleading.

For instance, in history, sentence one, it would be better to say his eldest brother was destined to raise the sun, instead of his eldest brother being destined to raise the sun.

(If you'd an editor, i'm bored, and not doing anything else right now)

[QuickLime]

I know I'm hardly qualified, but logged on and this caught my eye.

You tell a really fun story, and it feels like you've captured Luna's personality well.

There are a number of niggling grammatical issues, especially in the history section, mostly to do with switching mid sentence between past and present tense, but a couple of places where pronouns get misleading.

For instance, in history, sentence one, it would be better to say his eldest brother was destined to raise the sun, instead of his eldest brother being destined to raise the sun.

(If you'd an editor, i'm bored, and not doing anything else right now)

An Editor would be godsent if you have time

[VioletAllure]

I do. Should I drop the edited edition in here, or just want a like message using the insite mail?

[QuickLime]

Send it to me in PM

[QuickLime]

Edited!

[Jane]

!!!Beautiful!!! *sheds tear*

I know you wanted constructive criticism, but I really have nothing. Quicklime, you are a star! (No pun intended)

[Rosewind]

:Luna: :Luna: :Luna: :Luna: