Advice Column Dear Cady: Advice from a Princess (Open)

[SteelEagle]

A letter arrived with a small box of sealed cider bottles, Sweet Apple Acres Spiced Cider to be exact. Indeed, the whole package seemed scented with the namesake fruit and the letter bore the official seal of the family...which was an Apple, of course. Once opened the letter was written with shockingly excellent hoofship. When the letter was published later as part of the public advice column, names were changed for security reasons.

“Dear Princess Cadance,

Howdy from Ponyville! I hope you like what I sent you. Hopefully that'll get you over the next few months.

Somepony very close to me is celebrating her birthday soon, and I don't know what to get her or who to really talk to about what to get her. When somepony means so much to you it is easy to just say that it's all about the thought, but doesn't that seem like an excuse more than anything? If you put your thought into something, if you're saying it means something, then it shouldn't be something that they just feel obligated to accept on account of love. They should want it, and you should have cared enough to give them something that they want.

Can't talk to my other friends either. Rainbow's Fasty got a bit of the same tastes as I do. Can't go to Pinkie Pie Bright Cheer about it. I know what Rarity Glamour would say and she loves a bit of gossip too much to keep it secret. Fluttershy  Hover Quiet isn't the best at giving presents and Twilight Sunny is a Princess great friend and I respect her and all, but gift-giving isn't her strong suite. Plus she'd likely recommend books and that won't work. My family and some townsponies could help but they're big blabbers too. It really is hard to keep a secret in a small town, and don't let anypony tell you otherwise.

I've put a lot of time and thought into this. She can be a bit demanding at times but I love her all the same, and I want it to reflect the care I've taken. Can't say I've ever felt this way about anypony before, so it sure is possible that I'm just overthinking it

What do you get for the mare that has everything?
More importantly, am I just making too big a deal about it?

Sincerely,
Applejack
A Friend in Love”

[Bellosh]

 

A letter (and gifts) from Applejack? How splendid! Oh, and the letter included one of the things Princess Cadence loved most of all: a romantic mystery!!! If she were lazy, the alicorn would have written back to AJ with generic gift-choosing advice. But this was a friend from Ponyville that our princess was dealing with here. She needed to pour through this letter, figure out the identity of the mare AJ is attracted to, then use that knowledge to give the best suggestion possible.....

 

*ONE WEEK LATER*

 

After sleepless days of stringing together portraits with Ponyville town maps on pegboards, obsessive theorizing, and otherwise neglecting her royal and maternal duties, it took a magic tantrum from Flurry Heart to snap Cadence back to reality. The interiors of her palace chambers may have been in utter shambles, but the Princess of Love wouldn't let that stop her from finally doing the right thing and give Applajack the advice she needed a week ago...

 

Dear A Friend In Love:

 

There is no feeling quite like being in love with somepony. Believe me, I know. Sometimes, the emotions we have can overwhelm us to the point where we get caught in an indecision loop. Whether we are overanayalzing a special somepony's gestures or freaking out about what will happen if they discover our feelings, the end result is the same; nothing happens and true love never gets a chance to bloom. Any beautiful relationship lost due to hesitation is a great tragedy.

 

Answering your actual question, it is never true that the ponies we're fond of the most have everything. For one thing, my gut feeling tells me the mare you love does not have a special somepony yet, or else the letter you would have written me would've been filled with angst about losing chances or whatnot. As it stands, this pony of yours might also be looking for a special somepony of her own. Or... maybe she already has found one, but is otherwise incapable of making the first move.

 

Well, you will never know for sure unless you let her know of your feelings.

 

So maybe the best present to buy for your mare's birthday is... nothing at all! Think of the things you like doing together. Plan something that's simple but sweet to show how much she means to you. I am going to be rooting for you that everything works out!

 

Love,

Cady

[Alivda]

Raven frowned as she looked at the newspaper. While she was not one to normally read one, finding most of it to be boring reports, with only the occasional story on those less fortunate, some of the nobles at the last gathering had mentioned of both the scandalous and yet extremely fun idea of writing directly to the co-ruler of the Crystal Empire, Princess Cadence herself. It was an idea the young mare had found merit in, for she often struggled with self-doubt since her parents disappearance. Getting out a piece of parchment, as well as her family's official seal, no sense in not being respectful, she started to write.

 

"Dear Cady,

I suffer from a problem of being unable to commit to a decision at times, but that is not the problem, or in this case, problems I wish your advice on.

 

The first problem is that I happen to be in a position that not only allows me to help with societal problems, but also enjoy doing so. I routinely help at the orphanages nearby, donating and spending time with the foals there. Yet, I cannot help but feel that it's not enough. See, I feel that my talents lay in the area of protecting others, and while helping those that can't help themselves does feel right, it doesn't fill me with the joy I expected it to. Am I wrong in thinking that I'm meant to do more, to help at a greater level?

 

The second problem ties into the first a little. My parents were quite well-known in the R.E.A., my mother a captain of her own squad and all, and we would often take trips to visit outer laying towns. They had retired from the R.E.A. to raise me, and it took me awhile before I realized that the reasons for the trips were not to just have a vacation, but so my parents could apply there militant training solving problems for the townsfolk. It was on such a trip that I acquired my cutie mark, which I got protecting my parents from an ambush. I found that day a talent for combat, and seem to instinctively know how to fight hoof-to-hoof, as it were. Yet, I loathe fighting. The thought that I could so casually hurt another is... well, sickening to me. Yet I also can't deny an attraction to fights when they happen, it literally seeming like my blood is singing in joy when I find myself having to defend myself from ruffians. Is it wrong to enjoy something so thoroughly that is so harmful to others? Also, just as a fyi, my third problem makes it difficult to follow in my family's hoofsteps by joining the R.E.A.

 

The last problem that I need advice on is thus: I suffered an accident as a young foal that left me slightly disadvantaged in the spell casting department. The injury to my horn is nothing that I wish to hide, or shy away from, used to it as I am now, but I find myself envious of those who suffer no trouble casting. Recently, I heard about spell foci, artifacts of a sort that made casting easier and was wondering if you might know if it was worth pursuing them, or looking to make one for myself...

 

Even if you find yourself unable to help me, I thank you for taking the time to help ponykind as well as myself...

 

With deep respect,

Last Heir of House Dupone.

 

P.S. if you could strike the part about House Dupone out, some of the circles I travel in in Canterlot enjoy your column a little too much..."

 

Raven sighed as she finished, a little surprised that she had poured herself out like that to a stranger, let alone one of the princesses. She took the sealed letter in her magic, the glow hesitant yet never wavering and mailed it. Nothing to do now but wait...

[Bellosh]

 

Huh, the House Dupone emblem. Princess Cadence hadn’t seen it in several years, not since the disappearance of the husband-and-wife team of retired REA officers that briefly made the rounds of Canterlot gossip. Hopefully their orphaned daughter was doing well for herself.....

 

Dear Last Heir,

 

There is nothing to be ashamed of about feelings of unfulfillment, even for ponies in your line of work. As much as we don't want to admit otherwise, no one single activity is capable of fulfilling all of our emotional needs. This is why I find it important to find hobbies outside of work. In my case, I happen to love singing!

 

As for you, your hobby ought to be something that allows you to get your adrenaline pumping without conflicting with your core values. Just as a suggestion, have you ever considered moonlighting as an amateur wrestler? While those sorts of fighting sports are personally not my cup of tea, I have it on... "good authority", that the point of wrestling is not to beat opponents into utter submission, but to put on a good show for the fans. Maybe that is something to consider.

 

I do not feel qualified to give advice on magic matters, but I recommend arranging a consultation with a licensed journeypony or master of the Equestrian Magic Guild. They will be glad to answer any questions you may have about magical artifacts!

 

Love,

Cady

[Alivda]

Raven thought as she stared at the paper. While not the response she had wished for, the ideas Princess Cadance had given were not to be dismissed. She wasn't sure wrestling was for her, however the other advice could work... Maybe she could try running a training camp or something similar. Smiling at that thought, she got out her stationary set and wrote.

 

Dear Cady,

 

I wish to thank you for the advice you responded with. While I do not believe that I will be spending time in the ring, it is an interesting solution. I actually am inspired to attempt to open up a self-defense camp. 

 

By the way, I've enclosed a small donation. While I intend it to help those that might need a hoof in the Crystal Kingdom, I'm afraid I'm just going to have to trust your judgment there. Raven doodled a small winking face in the letter here, making it clear it was a joke.

 

With greatest respect,

Last Heir

 

Raven signed the letter, enclosed a hoof-full of bits, and sent it on its way. She didn't expect a response to this one, but still enjoyed the act of writing it.

[Windwright]

Honeywing tugged at his braid while reading over the latest Canterlot Gazette he'd had delivered to his room in the I.M.A.G.I.N.E. outpost. Princess Cadenza's column had picked up steam in the syndication deal with it's home paper, and had reached everywhere, essentially. Everypony who was anypony had read at least a few of the articles, and the stallion had picked up the last few just to be able to keep up with gossip. Lately though, he found himself with a quandry that he thought warranted her opinion. 

 

A letter sat finished on the desk in his nigh-calligraphical hoofwriting, and he was debating whether or not to send it. 

 

It read:

 

Dear Cady, 

 

Love is a many-splendored thing, and I've been exceptionally blessed to have a wonderful stallion in my life for the last several years. He's had a recent string of successes lately and recently was able to secure new clients for his fashion boutique. 

 

I'd like to see that success push even further to make this a truly memorable year for him by planning a surprise wedding. However I'm worried that he'll either feel left out of the planning of the event, or that I won't be able to coordinate such a thing without topping off that he is one of the participants. Given how much work he already puts in on his business I definitely don't want him doing much of the actual work, if any, but this is directly adjacent to his line of business so I'm concerned he'll find out about it and the careful balancing act will fall down. 

 

I love him dearly and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I don't know if the gesture of taking all the pressure off of his own wedding is worth the risk of disappointment if he finds out before it's ready. Should I start laying the plans (there is a Party Pony Specialist in Ponyville I'm relatively confident can get everything but the outfits done without tipping her hoof), or is it better to be up front and let him in on the process?

 

Sincerely,

 

a silver-tongued suitor

[Bellosh]

 

Ah, the good ole' romantic relationship issue. Unsurprisingly, those letters were Cadence's favorites to reply back to...

Dear Silver-Tongued Suitor,

 

Personally, I have mixed feelings about the new surprise wedding trend making the rounds. On one hoof, I sympathize with the desire to not give the pony you love any more hassles to deal with on top of their day-to-day challenges. However, I am not sure if a surprise wedding is worth the cost of leaving your stallion with no say in how one of the most important days in his life turns out. Public proposals can be problematic enough for some; inflicting an entire wedding out of nowhere could potentially lead to even greater disaster if not well received.

 

If you anticipate your partner getting upset in any way over not being able to arrange or schedule his own wedding, then DO NOT proceed with the plan under any circumstances whatsoever. The only situation where I would wholeheartedly recommend a surprise wedding is if your fiance is the sort of stallion who would suffer a health-threatening nervous breakdown worrying about their impending nuptials. Otherwise, as a marriage is all about a loving couple communicating and working together, I believe that one partner making all wedding preparations by themselves takes some of the magic out of what weddings are supposed to symbolize in the first place.

 

In any case, I hope that you and your fiance each get the wedding of your dreams. As you know your special somepony best, I trust you will make the planning decisions that best reflect his wishes.

 

Love,

Cady

[SteelEagle]

Another letter arrived, this one with the typeface of a scholastic institution. It had been hoof-written with impeccable quillship, with prodigious and scholastically perfect lettering everywhere.

"Dear Princess Cadance,

I hate to bother you with such matters as I assume you have so much more pressing things to attend to, but I have nopony else to turn to that I would trust with this sensitive a subject. I have a good friend, let us call her Mare A, who is normally very open, honest, and easy to work with on difficult subjects. She has been a scion of this town since we were fillies. But lately, I have noticed a rather large change in her personality.

It started during another one of my friend's birthday party. Mare R was gravely concerned about the quality of Mare A's gift, which Mare A was reticent to recant or explain. Mare R didn't press the issue, but confided in me that it seemed strange for somepony who did so well to do so 'little', especially for somepony she was so close to. Mare P couldn't find it in her notes that the birthday mare would like it, but believed Mare A knew best. Still, the idea that she didn't know the birthday mare better than some sort of birthday-note-system didn't sit well with Mare A.

Mare F didn't know any better and commented that the gift was 'nice', but I think Mare A was so nervous she took it as being less than truthful. Mare T tried to snap Mare A out of it, but I think both were too out of their element, while Mare D seemed nonplussed about the whole ordeal. I have been a little standoffish with details because I don't want to tear the focus away from what I consider important, which is Mare A.

She is confident and strong and I have never seen her so equally sensitive and concerned about what she is doing. In the end I think she will be fine but I am worried. How do you help a mare who never wants help, and what do you think might be going on with her? I can understand that perhaps there is some sort of romantic entanglement in play, but I've seen her head over fetlocks over other ponies before. Nothing like this, though.

With Respect,

A Friend in Education"

[Bellosh]

 

Late-night crunch time! On the morrow, Princess Cadence was set to catch a train to Itaily for a weeklong vacation with her husband. That meant she only had a couple hours to come up with content to fill her Dear Cady column with for the week she'd be gone. To make life difficult, this last letter turned out to be a real doozy. Something about personality changes and inadequate birthday gifts? Gaaaah... the love princess always dreaded reading the letters that came off as cryptic and vague; those left her with too little material to work with.

 

As Cadence was pressed for time, she hastily wrote a reply as best she could. Maybe under different circumstances, she would have succeeded in connecting the dots together.....

 

Dear Friend in Education:

 

It's never easy to watch somepony we care for struggle with matters that give them distress. Without knowing the particulars of what your friend is currently going through or what happened during the party she attended, I would say to keep being available to your friend whenever she needs a pony to talk to. That being said, do not pressure her into taking about her problem because it may bring about the opposite result. Only your friend can decide when she feels ready to reach out for help.

 

Love,

Cady

 

PS: It doesn't matter one bit what your friend's other pals thought of her birthday gift as long as the birthday mare herself enjoyed it.

[Windwright]

Two stubs had been filled out and laid out beside the envelope they'd be mailed in with. Licorice knew in his bones that he was going to bring his special someone as the plus one to this year's ball. They had already shared more than a few quiet evenings together listening to radio plays and reading by the fireplace at his apartment in Fillydelphia or Sparkles's place meeting and working with the pack. He wasn't even worried about the Diamond Dog's reaction to being at such a large event. What worried him was that he and the other guards'd end up dealing with some if the upper crust's reactions to the Diamond Dog being a guest at such a large and formal event. Finally he decided to do something smart and ask sometime with better social chops than himself. He took out a quill and a sheet of paper and wrote, his horn writing neat and tidy as a typewriter. 

 

The publishable version of his letter, with identifying details stripped out, was coupled with a slightly longer one that pointed out just who and what his special someone was to fill in what Licorice felt were important gaps. Both were sealed into the same envelope and dropped into the Empire's mail the next morning. By dint of Licorice putting it there himself, which only took six attempts. At least teleporting back was done in two tries.

Dear Princess Cadence,

 

As a humble stallion gifted with enough sense to know when he's out of his depth, I'm writing to ask your advice on heading off a bad peice of business. There's a social event of some importance coming up to which I've had the good fortune of acquiring a pair of invitations. It's billed as a chance for the common pony and the well to do to meet and mingle with stallions and mares serving the community, but usually only a few of the more common common pony get to attend and the second of my two invites is earmarked for someone who's a little less common than most. I'm not worried about how he'll behave, but I am worried somepony might get the wrong idea and think he's either an insult or an easy target. I care deeply for my runt and I'd hate to have to cause a scene on his behalf. I was hoping you might have an inside scoop on how to make sure things go smoothly.

 

Yours in service, 

 

Anise Surprise

[Bellosh]

 

If Princess Cadence was correct, the clues in this latest letter was written by a servicepony attending the upcoming Royal Equestrian Guard Ball. The letter itself presented a scenario that was fairly straightforward to respond to:

 

Dear Anise Surprise:

In my personal experience, the sort of function you will be attending has, in many ways, a more friendly and accepting atmosphere than the stereotypical high society party. While upper-crust ponies have a bad habit of treating their social lives as if they’re still adolescent schoolkids jockeying for popularity, service-minded ponies like yourself and my husband have no tolerance for such juvenile horse fodder (pardon my Prench). As such, you can count on your comrades to have your back in all situations, even at off-the-job events.

Regardless, there’s always the chance of running into somepony who is simply plain rude. If faced with negativity, it’s possible to defuse the situation by responding with good humor. Should the rude pony continue to cause trouble, call for security to handle things. But above all else, remember that you’re there to have a good time with your date! You are not obligated to give attention to anypony set on spoiling your evening.

Love,
Cady

PS: It’s not necessarily a bad thing to create a scene. There're few things quite like dealing with an angry heckler together which can turn budding attraction into a strong, durable relationship.

[Dusty]

Tempest sat alone in her small apartment. The glowing endless sun of Las Pegasus shimmering outside as if it was mid day, even with the sky painting black. Laying on her bed she tossed a now empty can on to the… alarmingly large heap she has yet to clean. Staring up at her ceiling and the poster of one well known captain of the guard that was nothing short of unfit for young eyes. she groaned. Sitting up she looked at the newspaper on her dirty desk, one part of highlighted. Looking at the mailing address she sat down and looked out the window. She was fearless, brave… Willing to run headlong into battles and wars. Yet it has taken her hours to even get this far. She was afraid. Yet she had to do it. This was the easiest way to take the first step. She can’t win every battle alone. Pulling out a paper and grasping a pencil in her muzzle she put it to the paper…

 

--------------

 

Dear Pink Menace

 

It fills me with an endless amount of loathing to make this letter but it is far better than other paths thanks to its anonymous nature. I do not make this letter to snub you as I made it out of the bitter truth of being fully and deeply out of my element, one you are skilled if not gifted in. Love. A word I have not thought of or spoken in many years. Something that must shock the common pony. Yet I was faced with time and time again as I watch strangers have love. A date, a romantic outing, sitting together by a river. Seeing it made me feel things I can not describe as I do not know the words or feelings to give them life. But I do know I want what they have. 

 

And that scares me. I am scared of love. I am scared of opening up and being hurt again. I have been hurt so many times, betrayed and alone for so long I don’t even know how to start. Even making friends seems so daunting I end up shutting it down out of fear. Some pony will reach out to me and try so hard to help just for me to run away. Never in my life have I spoken what I am about to put in to text. I need help. I wish I was so brave as to speak to you in person but I can’t do it. So here is where I shall take the first step. Princess Cadance how does one love herself? How does she let go of the hate and move on? Where does one start on that road? 

 

Sincerely, Air Superiority… Until we meet again.

[Bellosh]

 

 

Whoever wrote this next letter was... certainly something. Princess Cadence hadn’t felt such high levels of misequinthropy vibes since the time Tempest Shadow visited the Crystal Spire. This letter couldn’t have been from her, could it? After all, the assumed name “Air Superiority” triggered memories of rants about Princesses of Military Air Supremacy and-

*Ka-BOOM!!!!!!*

.....and Explosions.

Cadence sighed as the sound of foalish giggling emerged from smoldering corner of her private royal office that until just now was set aside as a pristine play area. A mother’s work is never done.....

 

Dear Air Superiority:

I believe the word you are looking for is “longing”. Longing is what we feel when we see somepony enjoying another’s company and we wish to have that same happiness in our own lives. Sadly, some ponies don’t get to fulfill this dream because they immerse themselves in an impenetrable storm of negativity, whether it’s because of their innate personality or — in your case — bad experiences in the past.

In order to start loving yourself again, the most important thing you need to do is stop the negative thinking pronto. Stop comparing yourself to other ponies, and start dwelling on your specific positive attributes. Dwell on these affirmations and repeat them daily; force yourself if you have to. Also, train yourself to be mindful of negative thoughts: try to understand the source behind your pessimism, and then re-write your thoughts in a more positive light. Whenever you accomplish a goal, celebrate it, use it as an excuse to indulge yourself, and then add that accomplishment to that list of positive attributes! Find things to do that make you feel good, and stick with them!

Finding your self-worth will not be an easy task, and it is definitely recommended to find a professional therapist to help you along this path. However, I am confident that once you start rewiring your mind to embrace positivity, you’ll realize how your accumulated inner doubts have prevented you from finding your place all along.

Love,
Cady

[Dusty]

Tempest flicked an ear to the sound of rain on the tent and the crackling of water landing on a hot fire. Just about every time she had an opportunity to get away from the city and get lost in the wilderness she took it to do just that. Re-reading the newspaper article she cut out she dwelled on its words. They, like so many others, were completely correct and yet they seemed so daunting. But she needed to swallow her pride and follow it. Easier said than done and maybe that is why she needed this… ‘therapist’ to help her. Not the first to say that but she did not know where to start. What soft pony has a hope of understanding her? But was that line of thinking precisely why she was in the spot she was? 

 

Well she can take some steps by herself. Puting the newspaper article away she stretched out, looking outside of her tent and took in the view of the rainy northern mountains she was camping in. Step one… ‘Stop comparing yourself to other ponies, and start dwelling on your specific positive attributes. Dwell on these affirmations and repeat them daily; force yourself if you have too’ She was… Strong. Strong willed. Brave. She worked hard and enjoyed it… Not a long list of positive attributes but maybe she can add more as she thinks of them. 

 

Next step. ‘Train yourself to be mindful of negative thoughts: try to understand the source behind your pessimism, and then re-write your thoughts in a more positive light.’ That was a more difficult one as the source of them seems so muddy. Was it her broken horn? Her filly hood? How she grew up? Was it all of them together? Well how can she look at it in a more positive light? That stumped her… How can her life be… 

 

She walked out in the rain, letting the cold water shock her body. 

 

Her broken horn made her… Grateful for what she did have. Sharp eyes and ears, a body that can go hoof to hoof with an earth pony. And she was not without magic. Yes, it was messy and chaotic but it was beautiful. Like a thunderstorm in all its raw power. There was beauty in it. Many unicorns can’t use magic at all with a broken horn. It's painful and hard. But she overcame the pain and hardships and was more powerful than many with a working horn. Did she even need a working horn? If she did would she have pushed herself to do what she did? Would she have ended up like most, content with what she had and wasting it? Maybe it being broken was something to be thankful for. It made her thankful for what she had as she may have so easily lost much more that day. An eye. An ear… her life. 

 

What was positive about how she grew up? All The hardships, dread and fear… but what about the good times? Watching the sun rise over the tips of mountains. Seeing the wonders of the northern winter and the scorched lands of the south and west. She grew to love being out there. Even now she found herself most happy when she got away from it all deep in the wilderness. She learned how to take care of herself and be grateful for every day she was alive. Maybe that was the positive light in the darkness. 

 

Looking up at the rain storm she let the cold water wash over her body in silent contemplative. 

 

‘Whenever you accomplish a goal, celebrate it, use it as an excuse to indulge yourself, and then add that accomplishment to that list of positive attributes’ That seemed easy… She never was one to indulge herself. Well maybe she did but not in good ways. She needed to give herself good ways to indulge herself. Sweets? She did really enjoy making and drinking ice cream floats… she never understood why but maybe that was a good way to ‘treat herself’ among other things. That can’t be too hard. Maybe loosen up some and let herself slack off for a day. 

 

‘Find things to do that make you feel good, and stick with them’ What did she like? Well.. This. Being out here in the wilderness. It was beautiful out here. She felt safe and relaxed. Cities and towns never failed to make her slink back to her worst ways. Her trip to ponyville was… just a mess. To many outbursts and bad memories. What about her job? Was that really good for her? It was forcing her to repeat very bad things and be her worst. At first it felt like what she wanted but was it? Maybe what she wanted was peace and quiet out here. Can she make a living out of that? She heard there may be jobs like that. Where one lives far out here, watching the land keeping it safe for others. That implied there others like her out there… And maybe they’d like to enjoy the peace and quiet with company? Did they have that… ‘longing’ feeling as well? Maybe. 

 

Well one of the last big steps was finding a ‘professional therapist’ to help her… Where can she even start doing that? The first pony she can think of is Cadence but she had an… ‘empire’ to run. Why did they call it an empire… Well, outside of running a city state that played make believe she had a family and many duties to follow. Twi? Same thing. AJ? Well she had a farm and family! She can’t dump her self again on the mare as some weekly thing. She stressed the poor mare out as is… Sunny? Honestly she needed to read up on this more so she knew where to even start. But in the passing of time she had to keep trying to do what Cadence suggested. Maybe there was hope yet.

[Windwright]

On 9/27/2019 at 6:30 PM, Bellosh said:

stuff

'Hmm...', thought Licorice to himself, 'the Princess had a point about the other guards likely tolerating somepony messing with his date about as well as they'd tolerate somepony messing with the barracks or the Palace itself.' Which was to say 'poorly'. It took a certain sort of obstinate pride to be a guard, and it made you like an extended family. Still, it was a bad idea to show up without a plan to make sure everyone knew the diamond dog was his date. Horsefeathers, most of the guards had only rarely seen one to begin with, nevermind seen a stallion dating one. Maybe a scene was exacly what the Princess ordered... They usually had a herald at the Ball, as Licorice recalled...

[Bellosh]

SICKNESS STRIKES!!! Princess Cadence has caught a nasty case of the flu, leaving her unable to perform her duties as Princess of Love! In her stead, Cadence’s husband — Prince Shining Armor — has volunteered to fill his wife’s horseshoes until she recovers. As the Prince of Love, it is Shining’s mission is to use all means necessary to help ponies kindle the supportive relationships which enable Equestria’s prosperity... including filling in as this week’s guest writer for Dear Cady.....

----------
 

 

This year's Hearts & Hooves day was particularly grating for Sunset Shimmer. All throughout the day, she was bombarded by a storm of mental fantasies involving herself and a certain somepony she knew. In the past, they'd only come up about once and day, and the Equestrian girl easily dismissed the daydreams as mere idle fantasies in the vein of winning a million bits or becoming the apprentice of Star Swirl the Bearded. But today, things got so bad that Sunset finally decided that enough was enough: she clearly needed relationship guidance for help. And what better way was there to anonymously solicit advice than the Equestria-renowned Dear Cady column?

 

Dear Cady,

I’m not sure how to put this in writing, but here goes. You will hate me for writing this, but I think romance is way overrated. Sure, it worked out for you and your husband and maybe some other ponies, but in my experience, being ‘in love’ is just a phase that teenagers go through.

To put things in perspective, I was once in a relationship with a popular guy who I’ll call Brad (sorry, couldn’t think of a better pseudonym), who practically all the other girls I knew wanted to date. At the time, I remember wanting badly to be Brad’s girlfriend too. Yet once the two of us decided to exclusively date one another, all interest I had in him dropped to nothing. For almost a year, I went through the motions of being Brad’s girlfriend only because I wanted the popularity that came with that position. When Brad finally broke up with me, I was furious with him over it, but it wasn’t because I had genuine feelings for him. I didn’t care for him whatsoever.

.....I should probably mention that back then, I was a manipulative and vindictive blowhard who made all her decisions out of ambition and spite. I’m a better person now thankfully, but it doesn’t change what I did in the past.

Though I’m no longer the mean girl I used to be, my perspective on romantic relationships has not changed one bit. It may just be me, but I find the whole experience of flirting and dating to be nothing more than a chore. In order for a couple to stay together, you have to blow money on expensive outings and then have to constantly go through the whole routine of giving your partner hugs and kisses, and if you don’t do those chores, then the two of you aren’t in a relationship. Never mind that even if you do all the right things, there’s no guarantee that your boyfriend will be able to pick up the slack, take the lead, or otherwise endure hardships with you when the going gets tough.

So then why did I waste several paragraphs ranting about relationships? Well, this is where my best friend enters the picture, who I’ll call Rising Star. Rising... she’s absolutely the greatest friend a girl can ask for, and probably one I don’t really deserve. She was the girl who stood up to me at my worst, only to turn around and offer me her friendship once my entire life of lies and deceit came crashing down. The fulfilling life I live today? I owe it all to Rising Star.

The thing with me and Rising however is that while we each have our own separate circle of friends, she and I share many commonalities. We are both skilled in the same talent, we each attended the same school and learned under the same mentor, neither of us made any friends when we were young, and both of us know the pressures of great expectations and being depended upon by a lot of people. For these reasons, I relate to Rising Star more than I do with anybody else.

If that isn’t enough for someone like me to love a friend like Rising Star, she’ll pretty much drop whatever she’s doing to help a creature in need. There’s this dorkish charm about Rising, and somehow she’s able to look pretty without having to try. I could go on and on about her, but that would make all you readers feel awkward. I know I always find it embarrassing whenever I hear from other people I meet about how much Rising has sung my praises.

Basically, my friendship with Rising Star is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but I don’t know how long it will continue to last. For one thing, I keep catching myself fantasizing about doing stereotypical romantic things with Rising; stuff like cuddling, spooning, holding hooves; anything that’d make her blush. I keep trying to tell myself to get a grip, but nothing seems to work. Now, I’m very good at reading people, so I would have known long ago if Rising shared reciprocal feelings; nothing I’ve seen indicates that this is true.

Even if somehow Rising agrees to be my special somebody, I can’t help but think back on all the messy relationships that myself and other girls have been in. I always get the sinking feeling that if we become a romantic couple, things will get strange between us because of all the chores we’ll each have to do to convince other people and ourselves how strong our romance is. Frankly, my friend already has a ton of things to worry about in her day-to-day life; she doesn’t need to worry about making a romantic relationship work on top of that.

One last thing to point out is that throughout the time we’ve been friends, Rising Star’s star has only kept on rising. Maybe I’m being selfish (wouldn’t be the first time), but I can’t bear the thought of other people regarding me as nothing more than the pretty face who stands by Rising’s side. I want to be remembered on my own merits, but being realistic, nothing I accomplish will ever surpass all the good deeds Rising has ever done, let alone pay the immerse debt I owe her. I just know that given time, old patterns of mine will repeat as I let my resentment boil over and burn the bridges between myself and somebody I hold dear (again, wouldn’t be the first time)

To make a long story short, the affection I feel for my Pony Friend Forever has grown complicated, and I have no idea how to resolve the situation without causing a total mess.

Sincerely,
A Turbulent Sunflower
 

[Blueblood]

Shining Armor read through "Sunflower's" letter for the third time before he dared to write his response.  Already, he was starting to wonder just what his well meaning promise to his loving wife last night that he would handle all her duties while she was laid up had gotten him into.  Letters didn't come into Dear Cady *too* often, as despite her advertised availability, ponies were inherently reluctant to take too great an advantage of Princess Cadence's offered attention.  However, when a pony did actually write in, it was generally with a doozy, and this was certainly one of them.

 

Shining had to scrap his first draft, too, halfway through the first paragraph.  He'd attempted to write in-character as Cady, but it just came out... unnaturally.  He had to treat this situation honestly, regardless of whether or not the supplicant would take his advice as seriously as his wife's.  With a sigh, he took out a fresh sheet of paper and started again.

 

Dear Turbulent Sunflower,

 

From what I have read in your letter, the turmoil you're experiencing comes from a conflict between your desires and expectations.  You expect that any attempt at romance on your part would most likely be a failure, and even if you succeed in establishing a relationship, would ultimately be unfulfilling.  Despite all that, you have been unsuccessful in suppressing your desires, which must be considerable, if they have persisted through your experience.  I think we can take it as granted that you have insufficient control over them to resolve this conflict, and must do so by adjusting your expectations.

 

To begin with, it sounds as if they largely stem from your experience in a prior relationship.  But as my little sister likes to say, "One data point does not a trendline make."  What's more, I'm unconvinced that has any predictive value; the variables are too different.  First, and most important, you aren't the same pony you were; you are considerably less self-centered and more caring.  That alone makes a huge difference.  Secondly, it's clear from your letter that you aren't at all desiring to use your present friendships or potential romances as a means to gain status; the essential character of actions, and therefore their likely long-term results, differ according to what's in a pony's heart as he or she does them.  Thirdly, the other pony involved is different, at the very least, in terms of gender, and likely very many other things that make a difference.

 

As for the work that relationship maintenance demands... on some level, you're both overstating and understating it.  I've had to risk my life for the ponies that I love, but I agonized over that much less than I did right before daring to kiss Cadence for the first time.  Love is a state of being, a way of living your life that gives a whole new meaning to your own actions, other ponies, and the entire world.  Teenage infatuation is one way to enter this state, consistent and active devotion a more mature and reliable way.  And I have confidence that is well within your abilities, partly from the fact that you admit to fantasizing about giving the very gestures of affection you call "chores" to Rising Star!

 

The question of whether or not your feelings are reciprocated can't really be conclusively answered until they're clearly articulated.  Some ponies are just oblivious to others having a crush on them, others let their negative expectations mask their desires.  For a little while at the beginning, I tried not to betray my crush on Cadence because I thought she couldn't possibly be interested in a stallion like me, and of course I didn't see her reciprocate, because I wasn't giving her anything to respond to!

That's not to say that laying out your feelings clearly will guarantee a positive answer.  But what it will guarantee is an answer; something concrete to weigh against your incorrigible desires.  It might be awkward, but part of being a good friend is moving through necessary awkwardness, and knowing for sure is necessary for you, if you're to be at peace with yourself again.  This is why I advise ultimately trying the experiment of admitting your feelings to Star, telling her what you've told me, your affection and fears alike.  Whatever comes out of telling the truth, whether you start a romantic relationship or not, will be the best result you could hope for; better than your current turmoil at least.  

 

As my little sister also says, "There's no such thing as a useless experiment.  Even a null result adds to the body of knowledge!"

 

If she does, however, end up accepting, then you will both be dealing with a different issue.  I'm not going to say that making a relationship work is easy, but having two bright ponies who are highly motivated to making it work counts for a lot.  As for the rest, both me and Cady will still be here, if you, or her, need to write to us again for help!

 

As a final point... I can very much empathize with not wanting to be outshone, or remembered as an ancillary.  Being the brother of one alicorn princess, and husband to another, it's rather hard not to be.  And at first, I was.  Canterlot is no stranger to trophy spouses, and for the first few months of our marriage, that's what everypony thought of me as.  Ended up having to literally get over a thousand miles away from there to end up becoming regarded as a hero in my own right.  But you know what?  I couldn't have done it without Cadence, with her support, and her belief that I could be somepony like that.  Granted, I'm mostly just a hero to the Crystal Empire and my family, but I don't think I need to care about everypony's opinion, just those who matter.  Think about who really matters to you, and don't waste time or energy trying to get in the good graces of those who ultimately don't really care about what sort of pony you are or what you'll become.

 

I think you've actually already learned that lesson, actually, which is why I am rather hopeful that, whatever comes between you and Rising Star, you will ultimately find yourself to be quite capable and willing to love.

 

Wishing you all the best,

Shiny

[SteelEagle]

The next letter came in with a nice, fruity fragrance. The letters were written with excellent, if a bit excited, hoofship with hearts dotting the I's and an envelope sent from the School of Friendship.

 

"Dear Princess Cadance,

 

Okay, so, like, this is all new to me. And by all new, I mean all new. I recently underwent a very dramatic change to how I live my life, even how I present myself. It has all gone kinda awesome so far, totally cool. Not gonna lie, especially to a Princess! And if my letter was just all about adjusting to a new normal then it would be a really short letter, right? 

But it isn't. Or, like, only one part of it makes me kinda nervous.

 

Part of the whole life-change thing kinda sorta changed the way I see stallions and mares, if you catch my drift. And while that is taking me some time to get used to, I can totally do that. Like, I'm rocking, I know it, I'm a bad bitch this way and that way. But then somepony old came back into my life and I don't know how to handle myself.
He is a friend from where I lived before, back when I was my old self. He is sweet, kind, and totally nerdy. He even has this cute habit of falling asleep all the time. I mean I know its, like, narcolepsy or something like that and it really is a bad thing but I dunno, I like it. I like him. He was such a good friend. That was it and that was where I thought it would end, even when I saw him join my new school.
 
...But he is so cute, oh my Celestia.

 

I feel my heart miss a beat here or there and I feel like an idiot half the time when I talk around him. Like, butterflies in my stomach kind of feeling. And if I had to guess, I think he feels the same. He is too nervous and polite to ever make the first move but that only makes it all the worse, because I don't know how to handle it.

 

He doesn't know I am his old friend. He knows me only as this brand new pony. I didn't tell him at first because I didn't know how he'd react and now that I think we're both kinda falling for one another, I'm even more doubly afraid about how he'd react. Maybe he'd be fine with it but not really want to date me because of it. Maybe he wants to date me but if he knew the truth would be scared. Maybe he'd disapprove. Maybe this is all in my head. There are so many variables and I'm soooooo bad at math when it isn't on paper.  So I figured I'd put my thoughts on this paper and mail it to you and hey, maybe whatever you tell me to do will help somepony else. Or whatever. This makes me feel so grody that I can't put a handle on it.

 

Yours in Confusion,
School Filly"

[Bellosh]

 

There was no such thing as an easy day around these parts. Not one day after recovering from her illness, Princess Cadence was already replying to a doozy of a letter. Although the letter itself didn’t specify WHAT sort of significant life change happened, the alicorn inferred that it had to be on a Blueblood/Bluebelle level of magnitude to explain how the colt described didn’t know he was friends with the letter’s author in the past.....

 

Dear School Filly:

Congratulations on your life change! I know other ponies who have gone through alterations as dramatic as yours, and you certainly seem to be taking things like a champ!!!

About your friend, I must stress though that it is important that he learn the truth about how the two of you were connected before. I know it seems scary contemplating what could happen if things go wrong, but believe me, the blowback will be a thousand times worse if your friend finds out you have been concealing your former identity from him. He will be deeply hurt by the fact that you didn’t respect his feelings enough to come out with the truth.

There is always the possibility that the connection between the two of you grows awkward if you reveal who your past self was. However, by showing that you place such intimate trust in your friend, there is also the chance that it enables a relationship between you and the colt to grow even deeper.

Special someponies do not keep secrets from one another if they want to maintain a blossoming partnership with one another. That is why it’s important to let your friend know about your past as soon as possible. If this colt you admire doesn’t alter his (probable) feelings for you upon finding out, then he is a guaranteed keeper!

Love,
Cady

[Blueblood]

It was late at night, probably too late for any sane pony to be up and awake.  Even in a tourist-heavy spot like the Gallopagos, where a luau of some sort or description could generally be found if you were in a partying mood, most of the locals and the more sensible of visitors would simply let themselves be lured to sleep under the cooling tradewinds.
But to every rule, there are exceptions.  There are two weeks where the winds die, and leave ponies alone to deal with the heat, and their thoughts.  Among these was Earth Writer, a stallion who felt washed up in most every sense of the word, and yet was unable to shed the old habits of a bohemian urban reporter, walker of the late night coffee shop beat.
He was up, writing, and for the first time in a while, writing something that would appear in a periodical.  Not as a news article, though; this was of a more… personal nature.

 

 

“Dear Princess Cadence,

I’m writing to you in a moment of quiet desperation.  I’m still not entirely certain you will be able to help me, but at the very least, this letter can be published as a cautionary tale for your readers.  I’m in a bad state, and I really can’t blame anypony more than myself for my situation.  It’s a long story, but I’m hoping that it helps another stallion not make the same mistakes I did.

It all began when I’d just gotten my first job, as a junior reporter on the Canterlot Chronicle.  I was taking a little trip back down to Ponyville, to both participate in the annual Running of the Leaves, and write a little article on the event.  During that time, I met a mare, who I’ll call Honey Pear for the sake of her privacy.  We ran alongside each other, and ended up helping each other out of some sticky situations.  It was the sort of thing that would make any stallion or mare bond, and bond we did.
Over time, we’d meet up more and more.  My work was still keeping me in one place, and her work at the weather factory allowed her to visit regularly.  Eventually, I became certain that she was my special somepony, and I took the opportunity to tell her so.  And she reciprocated!  I still look back on that day as when I was both happiest and most hopeful.
 

But after that… Life started to intrude on our plans and dreams.  Both of us were doing well at work, which led to us having extra duties and responsibilities, and less time and freedom of movement.  We both tried to keep a long-distance relationship, to hold on to what we had, but the letters became more and more infrequent.  Speaking from my perspective, as my work sent me farther and farther afield, it became harder and harder for me to keep Honey in mind.
Things came to a turning point, though, right around the time of the Crystal Faire.  Honey Pear had just gotten a new assignment from the weather bureau to the Gallopagos Islands, and I found myself on the spot when the… attack happened.  As you know, it was pretty traumatic for everypony present, but being on the spot gave me the opportunity to write the definitive eyewitness account of the events.  Because of that, I could basically ask my editor for any assignment post I wanted after that.  Honey and I had never officially ended anything; it would have been the perfect opportunity to take a tropical beat and re-kindle what we had… but my fickle heart decided not to.  I buried my good memories, told myself they were in the past, and that I should look towards the future.

And this is where the other mare enters the story: Heart Stopper.  I have not changed her name, such protections are for the innocent.  We met when I was covering the World’s Friendship Faire in Manehattan; she came representing the Maretonian city of Kastrot, where she is head of one of the noble families.  The best way to describe her would be both as 'the mare your mama warned you about' and 'the mare he tells you not to worry about'.  But I was lonely, lonelier than I wanted to admit to myself, and to be flattered and feted by a high-class, (outwardly) beautiful mare was a temptation I did not resist.  I ended up cashing in my favors with the Chronicle to get the Kastrot posting, and sailed over where Heart Stopper put me up in her manor.
To make a long story short… that mare ruined me.  I was used partly as a propaganda tool, partly as a plaything for her.  It was a slow stripping away of my dignity and self respect that I willfully blinded myself to until everything finally caught up with me.  My articles had degenerated into outright flank-kissing, and the editor wasn’t going to take that any more.  Having tanked my reputation so badly, the guild of journalists practically blackballed me from every respectable publication.  Of course, without me having any reach in Equestria through my pen, I was of no further use to Heart Stopper, who tossed me like yesterday’s food wrapper.
I fell hard and fast after that.  I don’t want to go into details here about what I did to get home, or get by.  Suffice it to say that I felt my life to not be worth much after having made such a mess of it.  And yet… through an act of undeserved caprice, I did manage to find a half-respectable source of pay, which allowed me a chance to get back on my hooves.  And guess who I coincidentally met up shortly thereafter?  None other than Honey Pear.

That almost sounds like an unrealistically happy ending, but in reality that’s where my current troubles begin.  I really want to reconnect with Honey Pear, to salvage whatever kind of relationship I can out of what we once had.  Or, at least, all the uncorrupted part of me does.  Which may not even be as much as half, by now.  Because, even after all that witch did to me, I still can’t stop thinking about Heart Stopper.  It’s like my desires and expectations have been totally mis-calibrated, or I’m still under some kind of enchantment.  It’s like my own mind is trying to sabotage my chance to regain a happy life.
And that part is what’s driving me to this.  It’s one thing to hit rock bottom, but to be offered a chance to climb out, yet feel it slowly slipping out of your grip?  If I buck this up, if I lose the last chances offered by both my employer and former special somepony… I don’t think I’ll recover.  
I’m not gonna lie, it kind of hurt putting this all down; and even then I’m worried I haven’t made myself clear enough to get a good answer.  And if you can’t offer me anything… just print the letter without a reply.  I’d like to know at least that I served as a warning of what can happen when you don’t take your love and relationships seriously enough.  It’s not a matter of pursuing saccharine greeting-card type lives, as the cynical put it; but of cherishing the ponies that build you up over the ponies that will just use you up.  And being wise enough to know the difference.

Sincerely,
Washed up on the White Sands.

 

 

 

It took three whole sheets of paper to write it out longhoof.  And even as late as it was, Earth Writer made sure to stuff, stamp, and deposit the envelope before going to bed, out of fear that his nerves would fail him come the morning.