Cinder Rose [Ready] [Edited]

[CaptainMcDerp]

Roleplay Type World of Equestria

Name Cinder Rose

Sex Female

Age Young mare

Species Pegasus

Eye color Icy blue

Coat Grey with a white mask on her nose.

Mane/Tail Fuchsia with white highlights.

Physique Average height, and a light muscular build.

Voice A little deep for a mare. Her tone is upbeat by default and she has a moderate Trottingham accent.

Residence Trottingham

Occupation Firefighter

Cutie Mark A firepony hat surrounded by a flame.

Cutie Mark Story

One day at school, the class was divided into teams to complete a chemistry assignment. Cinder was paired with another filly who was excited since chemistry was her favorite subject. However, instead of allowing for equal teamwork, Cinder tried to take over completely. She was treating the other filly like Overcast, trying to do everything for her. Every time the filly tried to help Cinder would say

"I got it."

Eventually the filly gave up and just sat there.

When the time came to asses everypony's efforts, Cinder and the filly got the lowest grade possible.

The teacher asked why they did so badly, and the filly explained that Cinder wouldn't let her contribute.

Overcast and the other colt got a low grade as well because Overcast did not contribute at all.

The teacher reported the news to Cinder's parents, and they decided to sign her and her brother up to work at the fire house to teach them responsibility and team work.

Cinder Rose helped the ponies keep the place clean, and assisted them with their gear. Sometimes, she rode on the fire carriage and observed how they worked together.

Witnessing the unity among the ponies, and seeing how they came together to fight the problem, and how they went above and beyond to save the lives and possessions of Trottingham's citizens sparked something in Cinder. She wanted to try her best and work alongside other ponies as a team just like the firefighters.

While doing her chores at the firehouse, she gave it her all, and strived to be the best team member she could be. The firepony team noticed her hard work and awarded her with her very own fire hat! The moment she put it on she beamed, receiving her cutie mark, and dedicating her time to being a full fledged firepony.

History

Cinder Rose was born and raised in Trottingham. Growing up, she and Overcast never left each others side unless they had to. Even as foals they always stuck together, Cinder was tireless in protecting Overcast like he was a little brother rather than an identical twin.

Cinder's father is named Indigo Skies and her mom's name is Gentle Brooke.

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Gentle Brooke tended to smother Cinder a bit too much. It frustrated Cinder because she always wanted to be a part of her surroundings, Especially when somepony needed help. When she was a young filly, it didn't matter if the ponies were professionals trying to do their job. She would lock on target and not rest until they accepted her offer. That or until her mom pulled her away. There were countless times Brooke had to keep Cinder from bothering construction workers, weather ponies, police ponies, ect. Cinder grew up learning about kindness, modesty, and common sense from her mom.

Indigo would sometimes show her around the police force and tell her stories of his most interesting days. He was a bit overly honest and had a tendency of hurting the feelings of others, but he was also very perceptive and could think his way out of a tight spot. Cinder picked up on these habits since she made sure she got to spend as much time with him as possible. she was very receptive his constructive criticism and loved the how challenging it was to impress him. She learned honesty, courage, and confidence from her father.

Cinder looked up to Indigo and admired his job as a police pony while also being impressed by the business skills of Brooke. She and Overcast love their parents. Even though they are a generally close knit family, Cinder gravitated more so towards Indigo.

Her brother, Overcast, is her identical twin. They fight fires together and are inseparable. Even though they are the same age, she feels she's got to look out for him. He's very shy and has a hard time in any social situation. Standing up for him all the time had caused Cinder Rose to develop quite a backbone.

After becoming fireponies, Cinder and Overcast had a bit of a tough time at first but quickly got the hang of things. They are currently valuable members of the fire department. They aren't the best, but they are good at their jobs and love what they do.

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Character Summary

Cinder is a quick thinker under pressure and can come up with solutions as the clock is ticking. She is able to put fear aside and summon up the courage necessary in dangerous situations. She is not terrified of fire, but rather understands it and has a healthy respect for it. These skills are what eventually lead to her cutie mark.

While not on the job, she is very perceptive of others and can tell when something's bothering them. She will sometimes approach complete strangers if they seem to be struggling. Her warm and welcoming personality attracts ponies and earns her a lot of friends.

Her goal is to improve the town, not just by firefighting, but by donating, helping, and looking out for others.

She likes zombie books, scary books, telling spooky campfire stories, ghosts, displaying courage, justice, napping, hanging out with friends, traveling and exploring, going for casual flights, laughing, making others laugh, eating food, and Nightmare Night.

She dislikes rude ponies, injustice, being alone, ponies abusing their power over others, loud noises, thunder, needles, and going to the doctor.

Her hobbies are casual flying, traveling, exploring, hanging out with loved ones, writing scary stories for the next camping trip, scary books, zombie books, researching ghosts. Eating.

As for her personality, she's caring of her loved ones and a good listener, more than willing to help and encourage her friends. She'd never giving up on them. She's very optimistic, outgoing, and has a good sense of humor. She will defend and protect others who she feels cant help themselves. It takes a lot for her to dislike anypony.

She loves food. Absolutely loves it. When she's eating something tasty, she's happy as can be.

When something is considered scary, she becomes fascinated and wants to learn more about it. These subjects include ghosts, monsters, zombies, vamponies, ect. She loves Nightmare Night and gets very excited even when it's a month away.

And now for the bad side of Cinder. If she feels she or anypony else has been wronged or mistreated, she will try to get back at them. She's also too nonchalant about things and gets sleepy easily, having to take at least one nap a day to stay focused. When she's awake, she hates being by herself at anytime. Even if it's just for a few hours. She can be a bit of a glutton and her living space is a mess. She's awful at organizing things or keeping schedule. When around seemingly weaker ponies, she tends to be over protective and them. Most of her thoughts are verbalized. She mumbles to herself constantly and her unfailing honesty tends to hurt other ponies feelings. She is too comfortable around other ponies, making her naive. And her kindness makes it easy to take advantage of her.

Fears and worries

She hates needles and will hardly ever go the doctor because of the off chance she might need a shot. She's also wary about diseases and hates getting colds.

She doesn't like to be powerless in a situation and is afraid of being unable to save or protect others.

Credit:

Pony image by Generalzoi's pony creator http://generalzoi.de...or-v3-397808116

Cutie mark drawn by me.

[QuickLime]

Hello! First off the application is really cute! The design is adorable and her chosen profession is really unique! However there are a few things you are going to have to fix, and I have some suggestions.

Her having a random accent that "Sounds Russian" is really misplaced, perhaps instead have her have a Trottingham accent like we hear from Pip instead? Also her cutie mark story features her brother too much when it should really shine on her, I know it's hard to not have twins that share a cutie mark story mesh well, My own Harvest Moon shares part of her cutie mark story with her twin brother, so I can understand it's hard, however she needs to take center stage.

Her cutie mark story is also really improbable, I'm all for her maybe being around fire mares and stallions and realize this was her calling, and helping them with their drills and putting out a small fire maybe in a barn, but a small filly saving 3 ponies from a burning building is a stretch, a really big stretch, so I suggest retinkering the story to be more realistic in terms of the show.

Also the references to Russian food needs to go, that really doesn't work with our lore, and the other ponies in the application need a lighter mention. She feels like a small member of a big cast when the show should be all about her!

I look forward to seeing the changes! =D

[CaptainMcDerp]

Alrighty I think I made all the changes you requested.

I don't know what I was thinking with the cutie mark story. I had it in my head they had to do something amazing in order to earn their cutie marks but that's just what the CMC are trying to do (and look how it's working for them XD) I mean, for crying out loud, all Pinkie had to do was look at a rainbow and *poof* cutie mark.

And you're right, a Trottingham accent is perfect. Cinder was born and raised there so it's only natural. Not to mention the accent is freaking adorable.

[QuickLime]

Alrighty I think I made all the changes you requested.

I don't know what I was thinking with the cutie mark story. I had it in my head they had to do something amazing in order to earn their cutie marks but that's just what the CMC are trying to do (and look how it's working for them XD) I mean, for crying out loud, all Pinkie had to do was look at a rainbow and *poof* cutie mark.

And you're right, a Trottingham accent is perfect. Cinder was born and raised there so it's only natural. Not to mention the accent is freaking adorable.

That's not how Pinkie Pie got her cutie mark, the Rainbow made her smile, and she wanted to share her joy with everyone via a party, when she managed to spread the joy she realized her passion was throwing celebrations and spreading cheer.

Cutie marks do not have to be big, grand productions, they can be very simple stories but they need to be impactful, it is your character realizing that THIS is what they want to do, this is what makes them special

[QuickLime]

Your story still lacks weight, I mean just staring at the fireponies got her cutie mark? This is a changing moment in Cinder's life, this is the MOMENT she realizes that under no other certain terms does she have more passion than what she feels right now. I think maybe you could have it that due to causing a small trouble at school, to teach her responsibility and team work her parents sign her up to work at the fire house.

She helps the ponies keep the place clean, helps them with their gear, and sometimes rides with them on the fire truck to observe how they work together, seeing the unity among the ponies, seeing how they come together to fight this problem, seeing how they go above and beyond to save lives, and possessions could spark something in her to try her best, and while doing her chores at the firehouse, she puts her all in it, and does her best to be part of the team, the team noticing her hard work award her with her very own fire hat! The moment she puts it on she beams! Receiving her cutie mark, and dedicating her time to being a full fledged fire pony =)

[CaptainMcDerp]

That's not how Pinkie Pie got her cutie mark, the Rainbow made her smile, and she wanted to share her joy with everyone via a party, when she managed to spread the joy she realized her passion was throwing celebrations and spreading cheer.

Cutie marks do not have to be big, grand productions, they can be very simple stories but they need to be impactful, it is your character realizing that THIS is what they want to do, this is what makes them special

Oh right. I needed to elaborate on that better. I don't call myself CaptainMcDerp for nothing. But yes, the moment they realize their calling is the moment their cutie marks appear. The idea that a pony has to nearly kill themselves or accomplish some amazing feat to earn their cutie marks sounds like a dystopia.

[CaptainMcDerp]

Your story still lacks weight, I mean just staring at the fireponies got her cutie mark? This is a changing moment in Cinder's life, this is the MOMENT she realizes that under no other certain terms does she have more passion than what she feels right now. I think maybe you could have it that due to causing a small trouble at school, to teach her responsibility and team work her parents sign her up to work at the fire house.

She helps the ponies keep the place clean, helps them with their gear, and sometimes rides with them on the fire truck to observe how they work together, seeing the unity among the ponies, seeing how they come together to fight this problem, seeing how they go above and beyond to save lives, and possessions could spark something in her to try her best, and while doing her chores at the firehouse, she puts her all in it, and does her best to be part of the team, the team noticing her hard work award her with her very own fire hat! The moment she puts it on she beams! Receiving her cutie mark, and dedicating her time to being a full fledged fire pony =)

Man, that sounds amazing. I'm gonna go edit it again with this story in mind. I'll get the hang of this eventually.

[QuickLime]

Man, that sounds amazing. I'm gonna go edit it again with this story in mind. I'll get the hang of this eventually.

I'm glad you like it! I'm so happy to help you! I really can't wait to have her accepted! She seems so unique and interesting =D

[CaptainMcDerp]

Alright I changed it again. Evidently, the new story is heavily based on what you wrote, and a lot of your actual text was copied but I kept it in my style. If it's a problem I'll figure out a different way to tell the story. Again your suggestion was awesome. My last two cutie mark stories paled in comparison to this.

I'm glad you like it! I'm so happy to help you! I really can't wait to have her accepted! She seems so unique and interesting =D

Aww thanks. I'm flattered And thanks for helping me so much. I seriously appreciate it.

[QuickLime]

I'll look it over again! And I really don't mind! I love cutie mark stories,and I am seriously flattered you liked my idea so much!

[QuickLime]

I am just checking..do you plan to app Overcast as well? Because your application sort of sounds like you intend to rp as them both, I just want clarification because the two sharing an application/ you using him in rps before he's approved is not something we allow.

[CaptainMcDerp]

Yep, I'm gonna make an app for him once she gets approved. If I rp with her I'll have an excuse for why Overcast isn't there. I just wanted to learn the tricks of the trade before I start on another app.

[QuickLime]

Okay! Good I was just checking! It looks good now! I'll move it up!

[CaptainMcDerp]

Alrighty. Thanks again for all your awesome help

[QuickLime]

Don't thank me yet haha gotta get it approved!

[CaptainMcDerp]

Nah, the effort you put into helping me still deserves a thank you rather I get approved or not.

[Bellosh]

[QuickLime]

Haha well you're welcome!