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The Friendship Sales Pitch (Closed: River, Phil, Eagle, Bellosh)


SteelEagle

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Apple Bloom had always wanted to become Sweet Apple Acres' number one business pony. Well, she wanted to be the number one everything pony like her big sister and big brother were, just to continue that devastatingly awesome Equestrian tradition of amazing Apple family ponies. But to be perfecyluy blunt, she was well aware that she wasn't going to be the best of everything. Her sister had such great Apple bucking skill and could cook so well that if Apple Bloom could even come close to her in either regard, the filly would consider herself near perfect anyway. If she could get just half of the strength of her brother as he rocked around the world breaking hearts just as easily as he could probably break mountains, then she would consider herself near perfect. If she could have just a quarter of Granny's good nature that seemed to radiate across the land, then she would consider herself near perfect. Any combination of those three and she would just be the best, wouldn't she?

But the real catch was that while they were all decent at balancing budgets and making decisions, Apple Bloom always felt like she had the best mind for business. She wanted to take a bigger role in running the farm some day and not just in bucking some trees and hauling freight, but making the actual decisions that changed the course of the farm. She was much too young to do that now- even Apple Bloom knew that- but she felt it was something she could learn and get to a point where she felt like a real part of the farm sooner than the rest. Applejack had many business meetings after all, and it was about time she dealt with some of the same ponies that she might deal with if she became some sort of businessmare! Oh, and then she could get a business cutie mark and it would just be the best, wouldn't? You bet your heinie it would be! So after some pleading, Applejack told Apple Bloom that her wish would be granted. Filthy Rich was coming to discuss business affairs, and Apple Bloom was invited to come with the big ponies as they discussed big pony stuff.

Apple Bloom was deliriously happy! Filthy Rich was one of the town's most famous and successful ponies, and she knew it was at least in part because he used one-hundred percent Apple family apples in his apple products. No doubt about it, the best produce made the best products which made the best businesses have the happiest customers! one long smile down the line and Equestrian goodwill for all. The only bit of trepidation she felt was that if this all played to role, she'd have to deal with that nasty piece of work Diamond Tiara in the future as the Filthy family heir, but Apple Bloom had a bit of a feeling about Diamond Tiara: She was as dull-witted as a frog and had the attitude of a scorpion. She could think of a dozen ponies who would cause her more trouble as a mare and they were all related. Darn Appleloosans being weird-like. In any case, Apple Bloom made sure she looked her best for the day, her hair and body washed and cleaned twice, her mane trussed up with her bow quite nicely and a smart little power suit from her "Goodfillies" costume. It looked smart and she felt smart in it!

She even had little notecards with big sounding words like Arbitrage-free option-pricing models and their definition, which she was thankful for since otherwise it was a load of higwash. Also had smaller words with new meanings like actuals. In any case, Apple Bloom was excited to be Apple business mare with an Apple business cutie mark. How could she fail- she had the cards and everything! With that confidence, Apple Bloom trotted downstairs to meet her sister and the guest, Filthy Rich.

"Hello, 'verypony. Ah'm all ready!"

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Apples, apples, apples. That red-colored fruit may not have been his entire livelihood, but they were important to Filthy Rich nonetheless. For a long time now, Apple family apples were the apple-based apples of choice for the Rich family to stock. The Apples of Ponyville did a very good job of going into town with a stall and selling their goods, but that at times wasn’t enough to sell their entire supply. Enter Rich’s Barnyard Bargains, which then usually sold off what fruit the Apples couldn’t sell without it totally going to waste. Sure, the apples weren’t quite as fresh as when they’re first bucked from the tree and brought into Ponyville the same day, but Filthy’s discounts did their job of encouraging customers to buy.

Today marked the beginning of a new chapter of the Apple-Rich business relationship. To generate more revenue for Barnyard Bargains, Filthy Rich planned on adding a food concession stand that would serve ready-to-eat products. Among other things on the proposed menu, Mr. Rich thought it a good idea to offer pizza with optional apple toppings. For that though, the stallion needed to arrange a new deal with the Apple family for additional apples.

Filthy Rich had already entered the Apple family residence and finished greeting Applejack when down came Apple Bloom… in non-traditional attire for a little farm filly. Personally, Mr. Rich thought the little pony looked quite spiffy in a business suit. “Well, here’s a lil’ missy who knows how to dress to impress!” the stallion eagerly quipped, before whisper in the ear of his companion for today; “See Diamond Tiara? You can learn a thing or two from your friend here.” Pending an out-of-left field lifetime ambition for Diamond, she’ll be the one to inherit the family business one day, so her father thought it important to drag her to Sweet Apple Acres to see how exactly business deals are made.....

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Applejack had no regrets in deciding to invite her own sister to sales negotiations. After all, these negotiations were probably going to be pretty simple, and knowing filthy, Applejack will probably not object to anything out of the usual. She knew how he played at this point, always sounding dire in first circumstances, bringing the seller to emotional understanding, and then trying to use that leverage as a shopping tool. Well Applejack knew what it was about, and she had her own game play that fell right into his purchasing power. Profit. And all of this without any grudges or bitter attitudes. It wasn't a thing. In fact, Applejack could do it all in her work duds.

Apple Bloom came downstairs, and Applejack immediately blew Apple Bloom's cover, assuming she was trying to be someone else. "What in tarnation are you wearing?" Applejack gave a giggly smile as the filly stepped forward. "Hey, AB, your friend Diamond Tiara is here." Applejack gave Apple Bloom a wink, responding obviously to the consideration and understanding that Apple Bloom and 'confessed' Diamond Tiara was now a friend of hers. It delighted Applejack, and she was not in thinking that the fallacy followed suit with the chaos of the situation that happened that day, not at all.

"Well Filthy, should we get started on the numbers while the little ones watch? Maybe they can have their own pretend negotiation." Applejack gave a pathetic wink and stuck her tongue out, being distasteful to the probably intention of the filly. Applejack would be impressed if Apple Bloom struck up something in the actual argument that was persuasive or influential, but what were the chances of that?

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Interesting occurrences sometimes happened in the often all too routine life of the young Diamond Tiara. When her dear beloved daddy had told her what their plans were for today, she had hardly even believed it. He was visiting that dirty old apple farm for business and she was coming along. Evidently, what was being discussed somehow involved the youngest of the Apple family, Apple Bloom, Diamond Tiara's classmate and the pony at the very top of her personal lamest pony ever list. She wasn't even entirely sure why, but there was no pony anywhere she delighted in tormenting more. Another chance to do just that was something to be absolutely relished. Of course, since daddy was along, she was probably going to have to be a little more subversive than usual...

She wasn't entirely sure how it would go down, but as they approached Sweet Apple Acres together, Diamond definitely felt a strange sense of excitement. It wasn't like she looked forward to seeing Apple Bloom or anything, she was just looking forward to the torment. It sounded like the blank flank wanted to impress Daddy or something, so she was definitely going to need Diamond's cooperation, something she wouldn't be in a hurry to give. That's what was going to make it amusing. That was the thought at least until Diamond caught sight of the filly. Just what was she wearing? it looked ridiculous. Is that how she thought business ponies dressed? It was quite clearly a foal's costume.


“Well, here’s a lil’ missy who knows how to dress to impress! See Diamond Tiara? You can learn a thing or two from your friend here.”

Diamond stifled uproarious laughter at her father's comments. What was Daddy thinking? He just couldn't be serious. Adults were so clueless sometimes. There was nothing impressive about Apple Bloom's ensemble save for the fact that she had the audacity and lack of common sense to actually put it on and think it looked good. Diamond was willing to play along though. She was going to enjoy this experience for what it was. She smiled a devious, mocking smile as she looked at Apple Bloom.

"Oh yes, Daddy. She just looks so distinguished. It's positively priceless. I do doubt I could ever compare," she said, her genuine amusement going a long way to mask her biting sarcasm.


"Hey, AB, your friend Diamond Tiara is here. Well Filthy, should we get started on the numbers while the little ones watch? Maybe they can have their own pretend negotiation."

Soon Apple Bloom's sister, Applejack, if Diamond bothered to recall, had noticed and approached them. Adults really could be so very clueless. It was just amusing some times. She shook her head gave an inaudible chuckle and stepped toward the other filly.

"Oh yes, we're going to have a lot of fun negotiating, I just know it," she said in a gag worthy cheerful voice. "Isn't that right, my friend?" she added, shooting an intimidating look at Apple Bloom.
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There was entirely too much emotional feedback for Apple Bloom in a quick second. She had tried to look her best for the meeting, like a real businesspony in a real business meeting because she wanted so much to prove that she was serious about helping the family out. Filthy certainly helped her feel better about it! He was a big time businesspony and his recommendation came highly, even if she was called lil' missy instead of Ms. Bloom or by any other more formal title. This was a business meeting and she was a big business pony, ponies should be a little respectful, right? Too bad Applejack didn't feel the same. Just as quickly as she had been built up by Filfthy Rich, her big sister cut her down at the fetlocks. This wasn't a silly costume! Well, technically it was, but it still functioned as a good business suit. How dare she, Apple Bloom looked great. Felt great. had felt great. Being infantilized by her big sis at the start of a negotiation didn't seem like the best way for her to learn. It wasn't as if she was here to play, she had let her sis know that she wanted to learn so she could one day be a big pony making big decisions.

"Ah-" she started angrily, quickly composing herself as Tiara spoke, another problem weighing on her, "Ah'm, 'ere ta learn, Applejack. Why, Ah even know the bits per square tree ratio we 'ave this harvest!" she stated proudly, half just as away of bringing it up, other half just to let her know that Apple Bloom wasn't here to play and joke around.

But that was all just preliminary fluff. Why the heck did Diamond Tiara have to be here? She should be at home, kicking kittens and punching puppies or whatever else it was she did when she didn't torture the Cutie Mark Crusaders at school. Now, Apple Bloom had expected her but that didn't make the reality any more comfortable. Gosh, she was so pretty but that just masked a real ugliness underneath, a horror in a beauty's clothing. Still, Apple Bloom wasn't really worried, just vexed at the fact that they would do the dance they danced every time she was over. They'd make nice and play well with the adults around and then when they weren't, avoid one another. Apple Bloom had long ago given up trying to make the rich filly feel anything but contempt for those she considered below her, long ago given up dreams of friendship and fun, and long ago dismissed pleasantries. But today was a different animal, as a simple slip of the tongue to Applejack in order to cover up a greater lie had laid the foundation for a somewhat more harrowing day. She'd have to keep up appearances longer than usual or risk her sister finding out that another lie lay at her hooves from the gilded lips of Apple Bloom, and few things were worse than Applejack's disappointment. So play nice.

"Howdy, Diamond. Gladcha could make it," Apple Bloom lied as she took her seat at the big pony's table nonchalantly, pushing the other chairs out so they could all sit. She didn't get Diamond's, she could get her own.

"So, uhh...how does this go?"

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  • 2 weeks later...

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"Oh yes, Daddy. She just looks so distinguished. It's positively priceless. I do doubt I could ever compare."

Something sounded very wrong with Diamond Tiara’s reply. “That’s no way to talk angel,” the father proceeded to lecture; “If you want to achieve great success in life, you gotta have... a can do attitude!” Filthy Rich then proceeded to pull Diamond closer with one foreleg, while pointing the other straight forward; “Don’t ever doubt yourself, Diamond. If you feel in your heart that you can shoot for the stars and outmatch the other pony, you may not actually make it that high up, but you’d have done quite fine for yourself in the process. And really, that’s something that everypony can strive for.”

"Well Filthy, should we get started on the numbers while the little ones watch? Maybe they can have their own pretend negotiation."

Mr. Rich shot Applejack a disgruntled look, slightly miffed that she forgot to call him “Mister Rich” instead of “Filthy”. Since that was a common mistake made by most other ponies though, the business owner shrugged it off as he made his way to the table. “That sounds like an excellent idea,” Filthy happily replied, not picking up on the fact that the young mare was teasing her little sister; “It's never too early for fillies to practice the art of negotiating!”

Once he sat down, Apple Bloom asked a question on what was going to happen. Filthy would let Applejack field that question.....

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Here they were, about to have another Applejack to Filthy Rich sale, and AB was here to witness it. She didn't realize it at the time, but Applejack was excited for her. Commonly Applejack's chores were left for her to do alone. When Apple Bloom was old enough to start sharing the chores with her, the most excited it made her. "Well, let's start with what ya need." Applejack grabbed a piece of paper in mouth and laid it flat on the table between them. Putting a pencil in her mouth, she was ready to write down whatever Filthy requested, even if it was something she couldn't deliver. Applejack ever motioned for Apple Bloom to take paper and pencil for her own list, yield a chance for Diamond Tiara to request whatever she wanted from Apple Bloom.

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“That’s no way to talk angel, f you want to achieve great success in life, you gotta have... a can do attitude! Don’t ever doubt yourself, Diamond. If you feel in your heart that you can shoot for the stars and outmatch the other pony, you may not actually make it that high up, but you’d have done quite fine for yourself in the process. And really, that’s something that everypony can strive for.”

Diamond laughed. Her poor old daddy was ever so naive at times. That just made it easy. Wearing a wicked smile, she looked around and shook her head.

"I know that Daddy, but still.. Apple Bloom just has so much going for her here on this delightfully quaint little farm. It's hard not to be a little jealous," the filly spoke in a snidely over-sugared voice as she looked right at Apple Bloom. She could already tell that she was going to enjoy this.

"Howdy, Diamond. Gladcha could make it, So, uhh...how does this go?"

Finally Apple Bloom had engaged her. She gave a coy laugh and then got closer. "Why don't you tell me?" she whispered cuttingly as she approached the pony's ear. "Your the one who wants something here, right? What exactly can a silly blank flank like you offer me to keep myself all nice behaved now?" she continued to whisper before pulling back

"Sorry, I was just admiring that bow of yours," she said with a playful but painfully false giggle. "I never did notice how nicely it compliments your eyes. Where did you get it?" she asked, smiling mischievously as she looked Apple Bloom in the eye.

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Apple Bloom wanted to wipe that smug smile off of Diamond's face after she whispered. Her blood ran cold in her veins as at that moment she wondered if she kicked Diamond Tiara hard enough and fast enough if she would get all the way clear to Canterlot before anypony noticed her overly perfumed form was missing. Would anypony even care, really? Maybe her parents but nopony else who was anypony paid attention to her, at least thats what Apple Bloom thought. Ponies liked integrity and good character, not a snobby little diva with the capacity for compassion of a willow leaf dying in a brisk wind. But for all of the good reasons Abby had to act as her blood started to boil and break the deep froze which sent little tingles along her skin before being overwhelmed by a furious heat, she was tethered like a mutt by the fact that she didn't want to ruin these important negotiations. She'd have to play nice even if the only play she wanted to have with Tiara was in an arena.

"Oh, Ah got it at tha fanciest store in town. I'm sure you know it," she offered bluntly, trying to take the edge off but failing to do so. She couldn't inch closer again to deliver her own barbs as that would look weird, but gosh darn was it exactly what she wanted to do. Well, behind kicking her in the face, "mah quaint little farm has everything Ah could ever want," she continued with fake joviality, sitting besides her sister and taking out a pen and paper. The big ponies wanted to shuffle them off to the side? She figured that at the very least she could have her own negotiation with Diamond via the written word even as she paid close attention to what Filthy Rich and Applejack discussed in terms of business. Unlike a certain other filly across from her, Apple Bloom could multitask. She started writing something down swiftly as the big ponies spoke, quickly hammering out something. She had to keep Tiara on the level or else, well, who knew what would happen. But being the filly who destroyed the business relations of the Apple family wasn't the sort of history Apple Bloom wanted! After a few moments, Apple Bloom hoofed over her paper swiftly to Tiara.

It was a simple letter, with a happy drawing of two stick ponies who looked like the two fillies dancing merrily in a field at the top. Hopefully the big ponies would see that and just assume whatever was happening was simple foalishness. The content wasn't all that objectionable, even if the meaning was clear between the two:

"Wow.

I am so happy you are here.

I am sure you really want to be here and conduct business on my farm in my barn.

What can I do to make you happy?

Signed, Bloom"

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"I know that Daddy, but still.. Apple Bloom just has so much going for her here on this delightfully quaint little farm. It's hard not to be a little jealous."

Filthy Rich gave some thought on how Diamond Tiara could build up her business confidence. “Hmmm, I’ll tell ya what,” declared the well-to-do father as he let his filly go; “I’ll bring you along on my next business trip to Manehattan, and we’ll pick out some filly-sized business clothes for you to wear. What do you say to that?” Mr. Rich didn’t expect his daughter to hesitate, knowing of Diamond’s love for visiting the big city. Once she got a new outfit or two, she’d have no reason to envy Apple Bloom anymore!

"Well, let's start with what ya need."

While the fillies had their fun observing and imitating the grown-ups, Mr. Rich got down to business; “As you know, Rich’s Barnyard Bargains will soon be selling ready-to-eat pizza at our upcoming concession stand. Now, we’re going to be needing apples to use as toppings for our pizza. Ideally, the apples we buy for the toppings need to mesh together well taste-wise with cheese and tomato sauce. What sort of apple varieties would you recommend, Applejack?” Filthy wanted to make sure that the apples he ordered were the best he could get for his specific needs, and he felt confident that the apple pony could provide an answer or two.

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Applejack caught the action between the fillies in the corner of her eye. They seemed well behaved, and they were even trading notes as if this was some kind of formal class. How cute. Applejack kept her focus on Filthy though, even though he seemed very involved in Diamond's life. It was strange to see him overwhelmingly considerate of his daughter's situation, pampering her for the best results she could want. Applejack never thought that necessary for Apple Bloom. Maybe Apple Bloom was just not as needy of a foal as Diamond was. Some ponies are just different, she supposed.

"Red Delicious for sure." Applejack started writing with her mouth carefully on the paper, and then dropped it to speak again. "They are the right kind of sweetness to be mixed with other ingredients. A sour apple or one that is tart isn't going to mix well with typical pizza ingredients." Applejack had an example ready right under the table. She bent down and placed a red delicious apple on the table, like she planned it from the start. "Now there are a few ways you can go with this, and they will all cost differently. You can take the apple skins off for a small extra cost, or you can just leave it on. Sometimes the skin will add a different texture to what you're eating. You also have the option to cut it different ways, like a typical eight slice pie from the center, or you can slice it sideways like a cucumber." Applejack scored the apple with the edge of her hoof showing these slicing locations. "How big you want to go all depends on how you want the pizza to taste but also how much ingredient you're willing to place in the product. If it's a regular sized pizza I would imagine maybe an apple and a half to two apples per pizza, although I know some ponies probably wouldn't mind putting five apples on their pizza." Applejack had some secret recipes that attached themselves to just a detail, but she would never tell. "On top of these decisions, of course as you probably already know, you will need the proper tools to prepare the apples. An apple corer is a must. I don't sell those, though."

Before Filthy could respond, Applejack looked at Diamond Tiara. "What would you choose to do, Sugarcube?"

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"Oh, Ah got it at tha fanciest store in town. I'm sure you know it,"

Diamond gave a coy laugh at this comment. There really was only one store with even a veneer of fanciness to it. Barnyard Bargains was the biggest and most profitable store in town, but fancy wasn't what daddy went for as much as maximum commercial appeal. Carousel Boutique was the only shop in town that went for legitimately fancy, which made it stand out like a sore hoof in Ponyville. Despite the baffling decision of the owner to run such a shop in a simple town where it didn't belong, Diamond actually had a lot of respect for Rarity and her operation. She had class and brought style to an otherwise boring, lame town. It was hard to believe she was related to Apple Bloom's silly little friend Sweetie Belle.

All the same, this suit, whether made by Rarity or not, still looked silly on Apple Bloom.

“Hmmm, I’ll tell ya what, I’ll bring you along on my next business trip to Manehattan, and we’ll pick out some filly-sized business clothes for you to wear. What do you say to that?”

At this, Diamond Tiara became excited. "Oh, Daddy, that sounds like so much fun! You know how much i love visiting Manehattan!" she started, cheerfully, brushing up against his side like a good little filly. A trip to Manehattan to go shopping for clothes could not be missed. Sure, she wasn't so interested in business clothes, but she was sure that it wouldn't take much coaxing to get her daddy to buy her some nice jewellery or a dress as well. She had actually seen a rather eye catching Suri Polomare design in a fashion magazine not too long ago. Maybe it'd be possible...?

Excitement at a potential visit to Manehattan still with her, Diamond turned her attention back to Apple Bloom. She took her letter and smiled at the words. Did the silly filly have trouble listening? She shook her head and sighed before turning the page over and writing on the back.

I don't know. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, friend. Watch how Daddy and Applejack do it. We need to be clear with each other when conducting a deal. Just as daddy makes it clear exactly what it is he wants, it's on you, as the one initiating this little deal to make it clear what exactly it is you want. Only then can I give my opinion as to what might be the best way to handle things. We just need to be honest with each other here, and then I'm sure we'll be able to come up with an arrangement that makes both of us super happy!

Your friend, DT <3

"What would you choose to do, Sugarcube?"

Diamond Tiara looked up when Apple Bloom's sister looked straight at her and asked this. Interesting. She smiled a polite smile and thought about it for a moment. After a moment, she gave a coy laugh and shook her head. "Well, I don't honestly know. As far as I can see it, I'm not sure apples are something that should go on pizza at all," she said, shrugging. Apple pizza sounded pretty gross to her. Apples were just so boring. She couldn't imagine a classy, authentic pizzeria in Roam putting something like that on one of their signature pizzas. It was just silly to her, even if it was daddy's idea.

She continued to smile as she finished the note and then finally passed it to Apple Bloom.

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Apple Bloom knew full well all of the recipe related insanity that flew around Applejack's head like a flurry of delicious and horrifying commands and edicts from a higher power that had a hankerin' for culinary chaos. She had seen some of her sister's ideas in action or at least on the drawing board and the best of them probably tasted divine, but too many apples on a pizza turned the whole ordeal from one of delicious friendship to subtle creepiness. One or two apples was more on point and believable. If you had more than that then it just got weird. Ponies who didn't share the apple-rich blood than pumped through her family's veins probably sufferef from an overdose of apples if you had too great of a single bite of 'em. Someday that would change and everypony would be able to handle the deliciousness that was the Apple family recipe without having to take only a small percentage of that. Or Applejack could just not go completely insane, either way was fine by Apple Bloom. She didn't know which one was more likely.

More importantly, it was good to see how they conducted business. They both had something to offer one another and it was a win-win proposition for the both of them. Filthy knew that when it came to apples there was only one game in town, and the Apples returned his loyalty- forced, by design, or by choice- by not raking him over the coals even though they could. He in return gave them even more exposure and made them a good bit of money. Everypony won in the not so high stakes negotiation between the Apples and Barnyard Bargains. If only that sort of scratch my back and I'll scratch yours philosophy filtered down into the fillies. Diamond had nothing that Apple Bloom wanted except for a single day of neutrality. Not friendship or hugs or anything else, just neutrality. That was something Diamond wasn't willing to offer, as all she wanted from Apple Bloom was the hurt and the pain she could inflict in her words that came like a thousand little cuts. Somewhere in the middle would be where they would have to meet, and that was halfway down the road that Apple Bloom didn't want to trod along.

But she didn't have much choice. Diamond's return letter was as obvious and condenscending as she could have managed. But for all of Diamond Tiara's vexing little remarks and fake kindness that cut into Apple Bloom's patience, she had underestimated her foe as well as the game they were playing. While the Adults sought equal gain, Apple Bloom just wanted the day to end as quickly as possible. Diamond Tiara wanted to observe the adults as they negotiated and learn from them? Well, Apple Bloom could do that just fine. Maybe it would take a while and they would never reach a deal themselves, aww shucks. And Diamond Tiara would go to bed thinking that Apple Bloom was an idiot who couldn't help but take it literally, and Apple Bloom would go to bed comfortably knowing she didn't have to play nice with a filly who lacked a kind bone in her body.

No matter what though, she shot Diamond Tiara a very polite look as she scribbled her note and passed it back.

"Alright. Lets watch 'em.

Signed,

Bloom"

She pushed it ahead and even before letting go, turned to Applejack and spoke slowly and surely- or as surely as she could sound when she didn't really know what she as talking about.

"That's a good idea Applejack, but a tart apple might be best. After tha apple is baked, a somewhat normal tastin' apple may lose some of its flavor. A tart apple may fit better if its the centerpiece ingredient, right?" She asked her sister with the clear expectation that the elite baker would explain to her why she was wrong. If not, at least distract them for a while.

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Producing a scratch pad and pencil, Filthy Rich attentively jotted down notes as Applejack presented the store owner with all available options. He won’t be bothering with taking the apple skins off, or at least paying extra for pre-skinned apples. The apples would probably be cut pie-style too; customers most likely expected smaller toppings. And to prevent his apple supplies from running low too often, the amount of slices used per slice ought to not be too much. As for apple corers, Filthy’s Barnyard Bargains already had a good stock of them.

Diamond Tiara brought up a good point about the viability of using apple slices for pizza toppings. To her credit, Filthy Rich couldn’t imagine a classic Manehattan pizzeria ever making use of apples. On the other hoof; “Ordinarily you’d be right Diamond Tiara. However, you also have to take local tastes into consideration. Market research shows that Ponyville in particular is especially fond of apples, so something like apple pizza, which might not do very well in Canterlot, could be a smashing success here.” Left unsaid was the fact that Filthy Rich could stock up on apples for way cheaper in Ponyville than more orthodox pizza toppings, meaning he could have his store sell apple pizza to his customers at lower prices. That, of course, was the name of the game.

Apple Bloom also provided a noteworthy detail requiring attention. “Is Apple Bloom right?” Mr. Rich asked Applejack; “Ponies might not want purchase pizza with baked apple toppings if they taste off.”

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"Well, I don't honestly know. As far as I can see it, I'm not sure apples are something that should go on pizza at all."

Applejack died a little inside. But then she remembered the filly wasn't the customer. And then she was resurrected in feeling by Filthy's immediate correction of how food sales might fluctuate from place to place. Applejack was sure she didn't get it, but she was just happy that Filthy wasn't going to change heart just because her princess spoke negatively on Applejack's interaction.

As for Apple Bloom, Applejack could hardly re-listen the words that were spoken. This was a joke right? Applejack looked at Apple Bloom with a little shocked horror, but then smiled. "No, silly! Apple Bloom you know that sour apples can only be used to bake something designed for sourness. When Granny Smith makes her recipe, she uses Granny Smith apples because they give it that perfect texture. And not only is it an issue for taste, but also texture. Did you know that apples that have a lighter or yellow shade tend to give off a more chewy apple? It's true! Why, I remember when my Auntie Brown Betty used to give us such a hard time when me and my cousins were younger because we couldn't tell the difference between a crisp and chewy apple, because our baby teeth hadn't fully grown out yet. One day, after spending a night at my auntie's house, she got so upset at me for not knowin' the difference, she blindfolded me and forced me to eat every apple in her kitchen until I could tell the difference. Woowee, what a weekend that was!" Applejack was clearing the runway of a conversational tangent that she would only describe as another story she probably already explained to Apple Bloom. "I remember when Uncle Jazz Apple would play his saxophone whenever we stayed with him. He would play that thing at the dinner table, even. Their jams were some of the best the apple family has ever made. I wonder if they're still producin' them. I should probably write to them soon. Last time we had a delivery from their farm, our zap apple jam was still in season. We got somethin' like twenty jars stocked up in..."

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Diamond gave a nod at the note written back to her and smiled. She half wondered if Apple Bloom was trying to just buy time at this point. As much as Diamond was eager to hear Apple Bloom beg deliciously to her for what she wanted, if she left it entirely in her hooves, it was possible Apple Bloom would just continue to stall until the day was through. She'd end up with nothing for her effort that way, the delightful circumstances of the happening squandered entirely. Well, she certainly wasn't going to let that happen. There was no way she was going to let a blank flank outsmart her. if she couldn't get Apple Bloom to grovel at her hooves for her at the onset, she'd have to be more direct herself.

Of course, she still had to mind the adults... who both seemed a little surprised at her comment.


“Ordinarily you’d be right Diamond Tiara. However, you also have to take local tastes into consideration. Market research shows that Ponyville in particular is especially fond of apples, so something like apple pizza, which might not do very well in Canterlot, could be a smashing success here.”

Diamond smiled deviously as her eyes went to Applejack. Daddy was pretty quick to give a logical, explanation, but the mare seemed rather startled by what she had, at least until Apple Bloom's comments sent her off on some boring tangent about who cares what.

"I can understand that, Daddy. Making money is of course the only important thing," she said in a sweet voice, keeping a smile. "Though I don't know. I don't really understand why Ponyville loves apples so much. They're just sweet and kind of boring and putting them on pizza really does sound kind of gross to me," she continued, not even looking at the Apples but wondering what they might want to do to her.

"Can there really be so many ponies, even in Ponyville who would really want apples on their pizza instead of something equally plentiful but more savory? Maybe you don't need to make a deal for more apples after all..." she spoke some more, smiling a wide smile at her father. She then looked toward Apple Bloom.

She quickly jotted something down on the paper they had been using to communicate and passed it to the other filly.


If you don't like my tone, you might want to listen to me and not try and stall, okay. ^_^

For starters, do something to amuse me. Embarrass yourself. Make it good too.

With lots of love, Diamond <3
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Apple Bloom had to just sit back and let her sister row over the waterfall of momentary insanity as she started rambling about apples. She had expected that response and the time it soaked up from the day was a valued commodity in the Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara Stock Exchange, where time was the biggest stock of all. Abby loved her big sister dearly and loved Apples maybe half as much but even she lost the plot about halfway through her barely connected, nodding along as if in great interest. She was only following along in a very basic manner since she had heard the story before on more than one occasion, which was the sort of thing that happened when you hing around a pony as often as Apple Bloom hung around her sister. Of course, they were reaching the point in the story where it was about to go from endearing even if long in teh tooth to being unbearable. And it was a business negotiation. Time to cut it short- even if it had already served its purpose. Mostly.

"Well!" Apple Bloom interjected before Applejack took her story too deep, laughing weakly as he did so, "Ah suppose yer right. Sorta silly of me ta suggest otherwise. But ah figure a little bit of contrarianism is good for a business meetin'. Ain't that right, Mister Rich?" Apple Bloom asked like the education loving little angel that she was happy to portray herself as. It didn't hurt to use big words during a meeting too, made you seem like an older pony worthy of meeting them all. She nodded. "Ah guess that Granny Smith apples would be best. And we certainly have enough Granny Smiths ta help ya expand inta that market, Mister Rich," Apple Bloom added excitedly. Heck, no reason to not double down on a good thing even if the good thing could have been a greater thing. And it served as a counter to Tiara and her snarky attitude.

She didn't have any expectations that Filthy would listen to his worm of a daughter, but it didn't stop her from being annoying. She tried to throw roadblocks into the deal but she didn't know anything about anything except how to be an awful pony which didn't strike Abby as a marketable skill or business agility like Filthy would listen to. Diamond probably thought she had some influence over her father but the real influence she had at the table was over Apple bloom, who despite not holding Tiara in high esteem felt a need to please her today. Diamond passed a note-

- UGGH. What an absolutely awful little filly. She wanted Apple Bloom to do WHAT!? Just embarass herself in her first big pony business meeting in front of Tiara's own father and Applejack. Apple Bloom looked up intensely from the note which quaked in her angry hooves, boring holes in Tiara's forehead with the fiercest gaze imaginable. Her mouth opened to shout something incredibly rude but she bit it, her snout trembling with barely contained rage. She had to reign herself in but all she wanted to do was throttle Tiara. Was there a way to sell somepony's pride? Because if there was, she was sure that Tiara would find the way to do it. But again, Apple Bloom felt completely helpless. She had to keep Tiara happy, less to make the business deal go smooth (a little bit still), more to make sure Applejack didn't doubt Abby's word from before. Uggh. UGGH. Well, family honor before personal honor sometimes. She quickly scrawled a note in response.

Fine, Tiara.

She passed it along and then looked around.

"My, Ah'm thirsty. Everypony wanna drink? Ah'm gonna go ahead and get y'all some good ol' Apple family cider!" Apple Bloom stated before she went to get off of her chair. As she moved to get off, she cleverly tripped herself as her hooves swung under the table. She lost balance and order-

"Woah!"

And then promptly ate it, smacking face first into the ground. It wasn't a huge fall but it was certainly an embarrassing one, her flank in the air before she pulled herself up, rubbing her snout impishly.

"Aww, shucks. Ah'm fine, be back with tha drinks soon..." She trailed off as she rubbed the burgeoning bruise, walking into the kitchen. When she was away from all sght, she stated FIGHTING THE AIR IN HER FURY, hooves flailing as she let out her frustration. Diamond Tiara! Diamond Tiara! DIAMOND TIARA!

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"...Though I don't know. I don't really understand why Ponyville loves apples so much. They're just sweet and kind of boring and putting them on pizza really does sound kind of gross to me. Can there really be so many ponies, even in Ponyville who would really want apples on their pizza instead of something equally plentiful but more savory? Maybe you don't need to make a deal for more apples after all..."

*sigh* Diamond Tiara could really be difficult when she wanted to be. If she kept this insulting attitude up, her rudeness might very well offend the Apples enough to put a premature end to this business meeting. And then it’d be harder for Filthy Rich to convince himself to have his daughter tag along for future meetings. Seeking to correct the filly’s behavior in the most delicate way possible, Mr. Rich forcibly whispered to her; “Look, Diamond honey, if you want to keep badmouthing apples so much, why don’t you and Apple Bloom take your negotiations outside?”

"Ah suppose yer right. Sorta silly of me ta suggest otherwise. But ah figure a little bit of contrarianism is good for a business meetin'. Ain't that right, Mister Rich? Ah guess that Granny Smith apples would be best. And we certainly have enough Granny Smiths ta help ya expand inta that market, Mister Rich."

What was supposed to be an explanation from Applejack about why Granny Smith apples would not work as toppings transformed into a tangent. Lucky for AJ that her little sister interrupted her, allowing the meeting to remain on-topic. “That’s right Apple Bloom,” Mr. Rich responded to her first question; “Groupthink is never anypony’s friend.” As for the answer for question #2; “I think we’ll be fine with just Red Delicious as our apple topping for now. I won’t be needing any more Granny Smiths unless our customers don’t take to Red Delicious toppings.” Despite Filthy’s doubts about which topping was right, he’d still defer to the elder pony’s judgement, that elder pony being Applejack.

Filthy Rich approvingly nodded as Apple Bloom announced her intention to grab some apple cider. And he winched as the little filly tripped and fell. As least her accident didn’t happen why carrying drinks.....

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Apple Bloom interrupted Applejack, and rightfully so. Applejack sometimes couldn't believe how much she takes from Granny Smith, rambling about stories that aren't necessary to the conversation at hoof. Regardless, Applejack nodded in agreement. And much to Applejack's delight, Filthy agreed.

However, Diamond Tiara had something else to say about apples. Not only did she question it as a fruitful ingredient for pizzas in a profitable general store, but she saw apples as a whole completely uninteresting as far as food and main source of nutritional integrity that founded Ponyville. Applejack didn't even know what to say. the words from the filly were such a stab in the heart, Applejack couldn't even respond to her directly. So she looked at Filthy and tried to laugh it off. It was obvious she was offended, however. "Heh heh, your daughter sure has some interesting things to say about apples."

Apple Bloom wanted to go get some drinks, and while Applejack couldn't necessarily disagree with the opportunity, she felt the timing was a bit off. Too off. In fact, Applejack decided that she might have to recess with her. There was no point in making it an official break, however. After seeing her trip, Applejack looked at Filthy and his daughter. "Um, ahm gonna go help Apple Bloom. Wouldn't want her to accidentally get the wrong kind of drinks." Applejack sheepishly winked and hurried towards the kitchen leaving a wooden wall between the two parties.

Once in the kitchen, Applejack whispered at the top of her lungs. "Apple Bloom, what in tarnation is going on. I saw the way you looked at Diamond Tiara. Are you trying to ruin this sales pitch!? I thought you guys were friends!"

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  • 5 weeks later...

“Look, Diamond honey, if you want to keep badmouthing apples so much, why don’t you and Apple Bloom take your negotiations outside?”

Diamond just batted her eyes and smiled at her father at these words. "Oh, I'm sorry, daddy, I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought it would be a good thing to speak honestly when my opinions is asked," she said in an artfully softened voice.

"It's not even like I even dislike apples or anything, I didn't mean anything by it at the last," she continued with a soft nod. "Though I suppose 'boring' was a bit strong and unfair of me. Apples can indeed be interesting on occasion..." she said this last bit as she read the word passed back to her by Apple Bloom.

She smiled eagerly and lingered her gaze on the filly then as she got up. She was eager to see what the little blank flank might do with herself. What she was got was kind of weak. Apple Bloom just excused herself to get drinks and proceeded to trip herself. it was amusing to watch, of course, but if Apple Bloom thought that would be enough embarrassment to sate her, she was bound to be disappointed. As Applejack got up, intent to go after her sister, Apple Bloom's glare followed for a moment. She hoped that ridiculous filly knew what to say. If not, she was going to make her sorry for it for sure.

Instead, she took the moment to look back toward her father. "Oh, my. That sure looked like it hurt when Apple Bloom fell. I hope she's okay," she said in her ever saccharine tone.

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Applejack trailed in not too long after Apple Bloom entered and set upon the little Apple with worry and slight accusation. Trust big sister Applejack to cut through the chaff of an act to hit close to the core, but Apple Bloom couldn't reveal anything just yet. She couldn't jeopardize the meeting in any way- small little accidents were explainable, Diamond Tiara's attitude taking a turn hard south was not. Well, it wouldn't have been the first time she lied to her lovable and fluffy sister for the greater good of ponies everywhere named Apple Bloom.

"What, that? Ha, naw. Ah was tryin' not ta life on account of a joke she told me that Ah remembered just as Ah was getting up," Apple Bloom gave a nervous giggle, "really funny. That was why Ah fell, too. Lost all sense of concentration ad fell right on my silly face," she waved her hoof dismissively, "no biggie. Now go ahead an' make tha family billions of bits with Mister Rich," she patted her sister on the mane before trotting away deeper into the kitchen. Her face hurt a bit but nothing too remarkable that she couldn't just plain deal with. And now that she was getting drinks, she had a plan. Diamond wasn't getting away without something of her own.

Apple juice poured into four separate cups, no biggie. Right? Who would think anything other than each cup was filled with delicious, nutritious, awesome apple juice that went down smooth and made you think fondly of warm summer days outside with friends. That was just a ruse for little old Tiara though who would soon find out that Apple Bloom could embarass HER just as easily! Granny Smith took a certain formula that helped her, err, intestinal...operation. Usually just a teaspoon in whatever she was drinking and it had a somewhat glossy and globby look that would dissolve into the drink. But Diamond Tiara needed more than that. Way more. Half of her cup was apple juice and greedily Apple Bloom made sure that the other half was the formula, the globby and glossy oil look to it not dissolving entirely in the drink, giving the top of it and the sides an odd look to them, like oil settling above water. Apple Bloom didn't think Tiara would figure it out or be suspicious, however, as it was somewhat the same color...and she wasn't that smart anyway. Or so Apple Bloom thought. She snuck the formula out of the cooling unit right behind the juice so hopefully inquisitive eyes would be blinded to her actions, but nopony could be blind as the little filly exited the kitchen with four drinks on her tray.

"Here ya go Mister Rich, AJ, an' here YOU go Diamond-in-the-skies-Tiara!" She made sure to put the infected drink in front of her 'friend' and laughing at her own awful joke, "see? that was a funny joke! So, business!" she moved on enthusiastically, pushing aside her own cup and taking a new piece of paper to write Diamond a note.

Now this is good drinkin'! Family recipe. Take a few chugs!
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"Oh, my. That sure looked like it hurt when Apple Bloom fell. I hope she's okay."

Well, Diamond Tiara did have a point about the importance of honesty. Certainly, Miss Applejack could have plenty of things to say about the virtues of telling the truth. But Filthy Rich’s daughter also needed to know that there were times when offending somepony with honesty is important, and when it is counterproductive. This incident... was strictly the latter. But Mr. Rich planned to wait until he was alone with Diamond to lecture her further. Now was the time to behave presentably to the Apple family.

Diamond Tiara thankfully dropped the subject too, and expressed concern over Apple Bloom’s fall. Filthy Rich thought the occasion nothing to fret about, and he made his thoughts of reassurance plain and clear; “Nah, she’ll be alright angel. We earth ponies are quite a resilient lot when it comes to injuries. There's no question that Apple Bloom’s got the strength to shrug it off just fine.”

"Here ya go Mister Rich, AJ, an' here YOU go Diamond-in-the-skies-Tiara!"

Proving the stallion’s point, Apple Bloom didn’t take very long to return with apple juice for the two guests. Ah; one could never go wrong with apple juice. “Thank you very much Apple Bloom!” Mr. Rich readily expressed his appreciation, making a move to grab his cup. But something happened; Filthy’s grip happened to be a little bit too loose, for his cup slipped out of his hoof, spilling its contents all over the table. “Gah!” the businesspony expressed his profound embarrassment; “How terribly clumsy of me.” Finding a napkin, he focused his attention on hurriedly trying to clean up his mess.

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Applejack wasn't all too impressed with Apple Bloom's strange sense of confidence of what was going on. And since Applejack always trusted her sister when she asked for it, she decided to shrug it for now with a slight hesitation. "Alrighty then..." Applejack was pushed out of the kitchen and into view of the other two ponies as Apple Bloom shoed her out of the kitchen. Applejack sat down and then placed a staged smile on her face. Everything should be fine. "So, where were we?"

Before a new topic could be brought to attention, Apple Bloom had returned with a tray of four glasses of juice. In addition to the hospitality Apple Bloom obviously picked up from being an Apple, she added a really bad joke to go with her negotiation with Diamond Tiara. Applejack wasn't really impressed, however she wasn't a little filly. Maybe it would be OK for them. Regardless, she would roll her eyes. "Thanks for the juice, Apple Bloom, these look refreshing. Only the best here at Sweet Apple Acres." Applejack winked, reached for a glass and then stopped.

When Filthy spilled his drink, Applejack made an effort to help clean up. She quickly walked to the kitchen, grabbed a towel, and returned to the table wiping all the mess up and attempted to make things easier on the stallion. "These things can be mighty slippery, heh."

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  • 1 month later...
Blank flanks had a funny way of liking to think they had it all figured out. It was all silly naivety really. From Applejack's reaction in returning from the kitchen, she could tell that Apple Bloom had been good to keep quiet, but it was just as easily to tell that she was up to something. Apple Bloom wasn't a pushover. She wasn't going to just let Diamond trample all over her without pushing back. Diamond was expecting it. She knew to be very careful with anything the other filly hoofed to her. So as soon as Apple Bloom returned with juice for her, Diamond already knew to be suspect. She didn't need to look at the slightly off consistency of the juice to know Apple Bloom was up to mischief. When the silly little filly pushed the note toward her, though, it just became all the more glaring.

Oh, Apple Bloom, we don't call attention to it. Diamond smirked. The silly blank flank's honest to a fault had corrupted her, she supposed. She had no talent in passing off her trickery unnoticed. Looking at the note, Diamond almost couldn't believe it. Apple Bloom might as well have grabbed a big flag with "I put something in your drink" written on it and waved it about for five minutes like an idiot. It was so obvious it was almost quaint. Diamond wondered about how to play it though. She obviously wasn't going to drink it...

That was when something very fortunate happened to happen. Diamond's dear old daddy happened to open the absolutely perfect window for her by clumsily dropping his own juice! How absolutely perfect. Now she had the excuse to pass her juice off to him. What would Apple Bloom do? How would she explain it? Whatever she had put in the drink couldn't be good. It seemed like some kind of thick, oily liquid? Hot sauce maybe? Something more subtle? Whatever it was, Diamond Tiara was sure it was something Apple Bloom wasn't too keen to see the stallion currently negotiation a big deal with her sister's farm consume. This was going to be fun.

"Here, daddy, you can have mine," she said with a smile, quickly bringing her juice to her father and putting it down in front of him. "I know you like apple juice a lot more than I do anyway."

The filly moved back toward Apple Bloom and grabbed the page they were writing on. She quickly scrawled two words and passed it back to Apple Bloom, as she shot her a devious grin.

Your move!
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Apple Bloom was really a very nice pony full of good, honest morality that she inherited from her equally goood and honest family. It was hard to lie, cheat, and steal for her. Of course it was easier for Apple Bloom than it was for others in her family who would find such things repugnant. She wasn't a paragon by any stretch of the imagination, but it was still hard. She had no natural talent for it, no deceptive cunning layered under a smiling facade. That was why instead of lying or plotting she preferred to keep silent and not reveal that anything was wrong. She could redirect her attention to anything in the world that wasn't the one thing that was wrong that she was responsible for and it would be just fine by her. It was hard when you wanted to live such a paragonal existence like Applejack, but not everypony could be as good as she. Apple Bloom was fine lying under the right circumstances, fine plotting. She was just awful at it.

So when everything went down the way it did, Apple Bloom wasn't too surprised. Saddened, dissapointed, sure. Not surprised. Diamond was that deceptive, cunning little minx of a liar that probably lied to herself and believed it. Not knowing how to lie, it always struck Apple Bloom that the casual dissection of the truth that Diamond Tiara practiced as a hobby was equally disguisting and impressive. She would be a good press filly, fielding all sorts of questions and spreading whatever misinformation fit her world view. But for now, it was just annoying. As quickly as the note had been passed, Diamond had realized something was up with the drink and easily slipped the spiked drink to her father who had clumsily spilled his own. Disaster in the making, even when Apple Bloom decided to ignore Diamond's eminemently punchable snout. If he drank that, it might take a few minutes but he would eventually spend a while in the bathroom. The deal would be finished and either the family would get a raw one the next time the two adults discussed what to do or the adults would start poking their snouts into filly business and nothing good could ever come of that. Abby had to think, and think fast!

She quickly reached over and snatched the drink, replacing it with hers.

"Oh, Ah'm sorry 'bout that! Here, let me as a good host show you tha hospitality yer deservin' of as a fine, upstandin' stallion of class! 'Ere, take mah juice!" Apple Bloom offered sweetly and swiftly, swapping her normal drink for his drink. She wasnt going to drink it or nothing- right? Nah. She didn't need to. Wait- what if he wanted this cup back? You never knew how some ponies may react to odd events. This oe had been given to him by his own daughter after all and it wouldn't be entirely out of order for him to take a liking to it. Well, there was only one way to slam the door shut on that infertile possibility. She quickly took one deep gulp, cursing her ill fortune for the day. Well, one drink wasn't bad. The odd taste and texture aside, as long as she didn't drink too much of it most of the problems would come by later. And that was all she needed to mentally pat herself on the back for a job well done and a deal saved! She saw Diamond's devious grin and raised her an even one, quickly noting her note and then replying with a smug look as she slipped the note back...with a kinder attempt at subterfuge.

Thanks for the juice! I wish you could join in on the good times, but I guess this is just for us big ponies! <3
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