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Lucky(Ready)


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Name: Lucky

Gender: Stallion

Age: Teen

Species: Chamroshe. Dog

Eye colour: A shiny Brown

Character colour: Lucky is a golden red though he has white on his paw's. His wing's are black.

Mane/Tail/Other: Lucky's mane is a nice black and he styles it with it being nice and neat, all patted down. His tail is also a nice black and he styles it differently then his mane, his tail is messy and untidy. It has white at the end of it.

Physique: Lucky is decently built for a Chamrosh, he has strong wing's and paw's though his body is just average. He has very high stamina and he can also run very fast, though his main strength is in his agility.

Residence: Lucky lives on a hill near Ponyvile, in a small Hut he built himself after becoming separated from his pack.

Occupation: Lucky makes a living by selling off item's he gets from hunting, so in short, he is a hunter. He also gets bits by finding stuff in the everfree forest.

Cutie Mark: N/A

Cutiemark Story: N/A

Special talent: N/A

Unique Traits: Lucky is a very talented hunter, and is a very good shot with his bow and also very skilled with a sword.

History: Lucky was born into Chamrose pack during a migration towards Canterlot. His parents were the leaders of the pack, the alpha's. His parents had been so glad when he had been born and they also had high hopes for him. As soon as Lucky was able to walk his parents had started training him to be the perfect hunter. His first lesson had been on how to move very quickly with the help of his wings. Lucky had been delighted at the challenge and had quickly started to practice using a small flap, not even extending his wings out fully, just a small light wind, to give him a small burst of speed. After three weeks he had mastered this and had then started his second lesson, to use his wings to give him more agility then he could have without them. This lesson Lucky had a harder time with as he was used to using his wings for speed, not for agility. His first few tries were not that successful, more then once he had broken a bone or knocked himself out cold. After another four weeks he had managed to master this technique.

It had taken Lucky five years to become a master hunter. His parents had been so proud that there son had become such a great hunter, though all that was short lived. After two months the pack ran into unexpected problems.

They were passing over Cloudsdale during a massive storm that had hit the city. The pack had dealt with this problem before, they were used to flying through insane winds and pouring water though this time had been different. As they were passing over the center of town a hurricane had blown the pack apart. They had been scattered all over the place though most of the pack had been flung around the city of Cloudsdale . It took the pack three days to become united in one spot, which was the town hall. Although the pack seemed complete there was one of them missing.

Lucky had been carried in the hurricane away from his pack, far away. It had lasted for three days, and had dumped him in the Ever free forest. Lucky had been scared, he was worried for his friends and for the pack in general. He had always been one of the leading figures, even though he was not the Alpha yet, the pack had depended on him to get them through. Lucky was worried about how they would do without him. Lucky at that point had looked around, his mind no longer on his pack. He knew his parents would do there best to keep there pack alive. Lucky would notice where he was, he was lying in the Ever free forest. As he stood up he would feel a crack and fall back down. His wing was injured very bad. After a day lucky was thirsty and hungry though he was able to stand up again. As he did so he managed to walk towards the edge of the forest.

Lucky had encountered many problems in his travel, though his skills had kept him alive. After each fight and challenge he endured he would think of his parents who had prepared him for this. Once at the edge of the forest Lucky would see a pony, a pony with a Emerald green coat. The mysterious pony called himself Crystal. Crystal had seen how hard Lucky was having it with his injury's and had instantly taken action and had treated his wounds. After he did that Lucky had been grateful to the pony. As Lucky started to recover he had also explored the area around the place. He had seen a hill that offered isolation while being close to a town, which he had learnt was called Ponyvile.

That was when Crystal had helped him build a house and also when stuff started to get a bit different. After two weeks the house was complete with everything that Lucky would need. That was also when he learnt Crystals big secret. As Crystal had visited Lucky one day he looked like his normal self but right in front of lucky a blue aura had surrounded him. Once the aura disappeared a different pony was there, instead of being Emerald green he was now a ruby red. Crystal this whole time had been a Changeling. Lucky had been surprised though Crystal, or as Lucky has called him since then, Ragnarok, had already became a good friend of his so it didn't change how Lucky felt of him. Ragnarok had asked one thing of lucky, to keep the fact he was a changeling between the two. Lucky had agreed.

Since that day lucky has lived on the hill near Ponyvile, only going into town to sell off his furs and other stuff he got from hunting and from exploring the Ever free with Ragnarok. He has occasionally gone and looked for his pack though they are long gone.

Character Summary: Lucky has had a rough life, with how he was always training as a kid and then being separated from his Pack. Though he had a rough childhood he never lost his joyful personality. Lucky will always be the first one to laugh at a joke and the first one to jump into any conflict big or small. Lucky is probably one of the most trustworthy creatures you will ever meet, he never tells secrets and he always will take your side IF you have befriended him. Lucky also has a second personality that you would want to say away from. Whenever Lucky is hunting, insanely angry, in extreme danger or in a serious fight, a different consciousness takes over. It gives Lucky extra strength and reflexes. It makes him stronger in everyday. He also becomes serious and gets the job done no matter what. Although Lucky is completely different when his second personality takes over his first one is still has some control, so even if he has changed he will still use his enhanced skills to protect his friends. Lucky would do anything for his friends, it doesn't matter what it is, he would do anything to protect or help them.

(Crystal. Ragnarok, is my own Changeling Char)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Disclaimer: not an RPH. But you knew that. :razz:

Just a few comments here.

The big one is this: maybe it's just me, but it seems implausible, if not impossible, to get from Stalliongrad to the edge of Ponyville due to a storm and survive. I don't see importance Stalliongrad serves, and I think other, closer starting locations would make more sense.

Aside from that, I just noticed two typos: a 'threw' that is supposed to be a 'through', and 'conscious' where 'consciousness' should have been used.

Other than those details, this seems like it would work pretty well.

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:P I looked at the map and i wanted the Pack to be a fair way away from Lucky. Thats the reason i chose Stalliongrad. As this is CC it might pass but i know it is a bit far streched. And the typos i didnt see, where are they?
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Whoops, saw this yesterday and meant to respond, but it slipped my mind.

Below is where I found the typos.

In the history

Third paragraph: 'The pack had dealt with this problem before, they were used to flying threw insane winds and pouring water though this time had been different.'

Also, I just noticed in the fourth paragraph: 'He had always been one of the leading figures, even though he was not the Alpha yet, the pack had depended on him to get them threw.'

In the character summary: 'Whenever Lucky is hunting, insanely angry, in extreme danger or in a serious fight, a different conscious takes over.'

And personally, I think you could choose a closer city/area and get the same effect. Remember, even if Lucky ends up only a day or two worth of flying from his pack, they don't know where within that circle he is. They probably couldn't afford to search that whole area for him, with no idea where he is. Assuming they move around, they'd probably have left the area long before Lucky could rejoin them.

Partly I bring this up again because I think it think it would be an easy fix.

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Hi RDD!

This app looks very good to me! All the required fields are filled and it's very well written! Though the Character Summary section's a little brief, I think there's enough here to pass!

Recommending this app for further SRPH evaluation!

:D:D:D

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