Wallowing in the Muck of Avarice (Closed: Lyra)

[SteelEagle]

Bon Bon was half asleep as the night finally ceded the sky to the sun in an epic battle of what Bon Bon was sure involved coffee in the castle going down both royal mouths. It stood to reason that she would have to make do with something cheaper and less royal a morning stimulant. It was also far cuter and squeaked more often. Sometimes you could even pinch the cheeks. Yes, Lyra was most definitely the greatest of all the stimulants. Laying in bed with her as the earliest rays of the sun shone on in through the two portholes afforded Bon Bon the best view in all of the land. Still though, somepony had to get up and make the coffee. Bon Bon kissed her mare on the horn and then rolled out of bed with a thud on the rolling ground, her breath escaping her as her head pounded from the night before.

It had been one heck of a party, worthy of a prize-winning cruise. The hard cider flowed as readily as liberated passions and the night's virulent activities had stained the bedroom with the indignity of messiness. Shirts, socks, blankets, bottles of cider, cold pizza, and more than a few destroyed lamps littered the ground. Who could blame them though? It wasn't often you won a two week free vacation cruise on one of Equestria's fancies vessels. Three tickets were her prize and she hadn't put more than a second of thought into it before one ticket was in Lyra's hooves as well as her own. That left one lonely ticket which she resolved to offer to the pony who bought the most bonbons. She had made quite the load of bits off of it and depleted her stock and while the hospital gave her stern looks over the ordeal, you couldn''t argue with success. That wasthe good news. Derpy being the winner was okay news.

The fact they had to share a cabin together was the bad news.

Lyra and Bon Bon slept on one side of the room, covered by a thin separating wall while Derpy did what Derpy did in the other. The two rooms shared a bathroom, kitchen, and living space which were all just big enough to turn around in spot with. It'd suffice. Besides, they spent most of their day topside. Bon Bon made one, two, three cups of coffee, drank one in an unending gulp, and trotted into living space they shared after putting one cup of coffee next to her mare on the nighstand. She slowly sipped her second cup while starung straight above, wishing for her head to return before they went to go party some more.

[RarityDash]

"But.... Fluttershy... there are too many,,, pineapples..." Lyra snored as she, fast asleep, had a fanciful dream. Even as the sun started to shine into the room, even as Bonnie kissed her horn, she kept snoring loudly and on occasion tossing about, further dishevelling her already thoroughly messed up mane.

Lyra didn't actually wake until the scent of coffee drifted into her nostrils, making her salivate onto her pillow. She sat up on the bed slowly and yawned loudly as her eyes slowly opened to find the aromatic beverage where it waited for her. She breathed in its scent and then rubbed the sleep from her eyes before looking around the messy bedroom for Bonnie, but didn't find her.

"Whoa... I slept hard last night..." she said drearily to herself as she grabbed for her coffee and sipped it eagerly. Bon Bon brewed the best coffee in the world, she was pretty sure. "But I guess that's how it goes after something like last night..."

She sipped more of her coffee, immediately feeling more awake for it. Carrying it along with her magic she put her hooves on the floor and walked out to the shared space. She found Bonnie there and immediately started to smile. "Lyra is awake, sweet Bonnie Bon!" she said with a goofy grin as she walked up to her. "And your coffee is as magical as ever!"

​

[Bellosh]

Sleep, sweet beautiful sleep. Derpy Hooves needed plenty of it after the exhausting day of partying yesterday. Who’d ever have thought that spending more money on bonbons than she normally would have on a cruise ship ticket would be totally worth it? Best of all, Derpy got to spend two weeks at sea with a couple of her favorite townsponies?

Truth be told, Miss Hooves called many residents of Ponyville her favorite townsponies. Maybe almost a third of the town to be precise (everypony else were still fun and awesome though). Bon Bon the earth pony chocolatier, and Lyra the unicorn musician, were two mares that Derpy the weather pegasus really liked to hang around with more than anypony else. Whenever all three were together, it always seemed to Derpy like they were a trio embodying the spirit of Ponyville, hanging off in the background. Something like that, anyway.

At this moment, Derpy refused to return to the land of the living. She remained asleep, twisting and turning in her bed... even though both the blankets and the pillows were thrown onto the floor. It would take considerable effort from the young mare’s companions to steal her away from her bizarre dreams.....

​

[SteelEagle]

Bon Bon moaned as she rubbed her head, her coffee to her the right. Not that it would help. Nothing could help, nothing she could reach however. All the coffee could do was wake her up to the realities of the situation which she would rather not face but had to. The cruise was free but their time was limited- she had to take advantage as best she could. The only thing that could solve the hangover problm was an extra sweet injection of Lyra into her life. It was the cure for all ills and troubles, a lot better than any tonic peddled by Flim and Flam and one-hundred percent Bon Bon approved. The only issue is that there was such a limited supply of Lyra in the world and Bon Bon hogged it all like the Maretonians hogged all the really ostentatious headgear for the big international events. And she didn't share, either. She used all the world's supply of Lyra and didn't feel an ounce of shame in doing so. What cruelty and evil!

Especially when Lyra was simply that adorable, her energy returning to her faster than it would for any other pony under those circumstances. She claimed it was Bon Bon's coffee that made the difference but that couldn't be the case. She just followed the instructions on some bargain Barnyard Bargain's coffee and voila, was apparently the greatest coffee maker of all time. The only part of the equation that was any different was the mare who drank it and her own innate buoyancy and energy that could lift this ship up into the sky. She would have to make do with lifting Bon Bon out of her hangover for the slightest of moments, Bonnie's eyes opening as she quickly launched one hoof around Lyra's nexk and pulled her in for a kiss. The coffee fell but Bonnie's tail reached out ans snagged it, laying it down as Bon Bon kissed her mare with all the annoyance a hangover produced turned into love. She then pulled Lyra onto the couch and snuggled, head on head.

"Braw braw braw braw..." she moaned, still too hungover for words. It took some more effort.

"Uggh. Yikes. My head feels like Derpy worked on it. Speaking of, is she up? How'd you sleep, little lovin' Lyra?"

[RarityDash]

"Braw braw braw braw... Uggh. Yikes. My head feels like Derpy worked on it. Speaking of, is she up? How'd you sleep, little lovin' Lyra?"

"Like a lead weight... though I had a really weird dream which I can't entirely remember involving pineapples..." Lyra said, nodding her head and then stretching her back before going back snuggling with her favorite mare in the world. "So pretty much the same as ever."

She looked toward Bonnie, noticing at once just how tired and unwell she looked. It wasn't hard to figure out why, even for a silly mare like Lyra. "Sorry about your head, Bonnie Bon. I shouldn't have let you drink quite so much!" she said cheerfully.

Lyra didn't care to drink much herself. She had had maybe one cider for taste, but that was enough. She knew her limits and she respected them. She really didn't enjoy feeling like Bon Bon looked at that moment. Besides--Lyra Heartstrings really wasn't the sort of mare who needed alcohol to have a fun, silly time. That was pretty much the default with her.

She looked toward the other rooms then and shrugged. "And no, doesn't look like Derpy's up yet," she said. "Did she drink as much as you? I wasn't really paying attention."

​

[Bellosh]

While the other two mares conversed, Derpy Hooves had moved to a sideways position in the final stages of her sleep. Now just starting to awaken, the pegasus paid little mind to anything as she flailed about. A rear leg of hers managed to kick a pillow over to a nightstand between the two, sending a lamp and a clock clumsily crashing down onto the cabin. Fortunately, this loud noise accelerated the waking-up process for Derpy, who finally opened her eyes.

With a giant yawn, Derpy stretched out her legs as she sat up; “Ahhhhhhh, I think the alarm clock finally went off. What time is it, guys?” Chances are, with Derpy’s luck, she managed to break the nightstand clock with her unintentional actions.

​

[SteelEagle]

"Like a lead weight... though I had a really weird dream which I can't entirely remember involving pineapples..." Lyra said, nodding her head and then stretching her back before going back snuggling with her favorite mare in the world. "So pretty much the same as ever."

What was with her love and pineapples? In all seriousness, this had to have been like the thousandth dream she had involving pineapples. Of course, Bon Bon was no stranger to weird dreams. Recently she had more than a few dreams contemplating sandy beaches and aching stomachs. She thought perhaps it was a sign of something coming but then she realized it was just a sign that she needed to stop reading those beach romance novels that populated her chocolate stand to a greater degree than customers. Thank Celestia for this break or she was going to go nuts and have to be locked up with Screw Loose as the only two ponies interred at the nuthouse nearby. Wy'd they have a nuthouse if nopony ever went nutty? Questions for a slow day or a slow mind that ached and pained its way through head troubles.

“Seriously baby I love you but what is it with you and pineappes...?” Bon Bon whispered through a pained smile as she held her mare.

"Sorry about your head, Bonnie Bon. I shouldn't have let you drink quite so much! And no, doesn't look like Derpy's up yet. Did she drink as much as you? I wasn't really paying attention."

Nopony could ever drink as much as Bon Bon did last night. They'd be dead. Maybe Applejack since she had a high apple tolerance across the board, but that was the only pony Bon Bon could imagine surviving the apple-led ordeal she had been through. No more cider ever ever ever. At least Lyra looked perky enough. She knew her limits. Bon Bion couldn't control herself and by the sounds of it, neither could Derpy!

“No, you shouldn't have. You're a very bad ol' Lyra. A very, very bad ol' Lyra,” Bonnie intoned in a dark and baritone voice before getting up.

“Get dressed. We'll get a bite to eat when we're done getting Derpy ready,” Bon Bon said as she trotted to Derpy's area, looking in, “Get dressed and we'll get some chow chicka bow chow, alright?”

Her head was still killer. And Derpy was breaking stuff. Normal wake-up mode, engaged.

[RarityDash]

“Seriously baby I love you but what is it with you and pineappes...?”

Lyra gave a small puff. It wasn't like it was that common for her to dream of pineapples. It was just something that happened to come up sometimes, especially recently for whatever reason. She'd wonder if she wasn't craving them or something, but really, she didn't even like pineapples all that much, even if they did have a really cool shape.

"Y'know, I really don't know..." she said, rubbing a hoof through the back of her somewhat dishevelled mane and giving a laugh. There were always at least a hooffull of things Lyra didn't understand at any given time. She supposed this would have to just be one of them.

​

“Get dressed. We'll get a bite to eat when we're done getting Derpy ready,”

"Kay," Lyra said at this comment. She knew this was a kind of fancy cruise, but honestly she didn't care to wear too much in the way of clothing unless it was an extravagant and silly costume... and apparently that wasn't the idea here. Still, she'd take a moment at least to freshen up and comb her wayward mane.

As she was motioning to do so, she heard the sounds of Derpy waking up herself. She giggled a little at the not entirely unexpected sound of a crash hitting her ears. "Careful in there, Derps!" she called out. "The tickets might have been free, but I'm pretty sure the cruise people are still gonna make you pay for stuff you break."

​

[Bellosh]

“Eh, it’s no problem,” Derpy Hooves assured Lyra as she rolled herself to the foot of the bed, somehow managing to land belly-first; “I’ve broken so many of my own things by now that I got good at fixing them right up.” What the pegasus failed to mention was that usually in the repairing process, a couple more objects end up requiring fixing up too, instigating a vicious cycle of fix-it-ups that only ends with outside intervention.

Anywho, with sleeping over, now was the time to gorge on chow! Not caring about how her mane looked even more disheveled than usual, Derpy stretched her forelegs out and yawned; “Before we do anything else, I gotta eat. Hmmm, I wonder what sort of cereal we’ll be served today?” Cereal of course being Derpy’s breakfast of choice, since it was always easy to make, only rarely involving the meal catching on fire.

​

[SteelEagle]

Today was going to be great. Between a friend and her marefriend, Bon Bon was relaxed. A massive weight on her shoulders most days was trying to make sure Derpy didn't accidentally destroy her business like Derpy had done once before. Well, just once that she knew of. There was a good possibility that it had happened before at night as Bonnie had been forced to rebuild Bon Bon's Bonbons more than once. Derpy was around, business safe. And Lyra was with her and even if she was marooned on a desert island with no food or water, having Lyra there to comfort her and spend their days would be enough for Bon Bon. All things told, she was not a very complicated mare. Good love, good business, and good drinks- as evidenced by last night- was all Bon Bon needed. Everypony started to get their stuff together and Derpy mentioned she needed to get some cereal in her before the day went forward. Bon Bon chuckled in agreement.

“I agree! Let's all get some nice chow before we have fun. Don't want to bop around the ship on an empty stomach, right Ly-Ly?” Bon Bon said with a laugh, swiping her hoof across her mane to set it in position. She wasn't gonna look like a million bits for the other ponies of this ship but she didn't quite care what they thought, both now with this massive headache and normally with non-headache Bon Bon calling the shots. They'd get a nice breakfast and plan out their day and everything would be great. She opened the door and....

“What the hay...?” She muttered, looking out at a scene of devastation. The door opened up into a hallway that was no longer connected to much, to the right...an island. A deserted desert island. To the left, the bow of the ship raised slight up, meaning a whole bunch of debris had collected just outside their door.

“...I wish I was just dreaming of pineapples...”

[RarityDash]

“Eh, it’s no problem, I’ve broken so many of my own things by now that I got good at fixing them right up.”

Lyra looked at the gray mare skeptically. She honestly had trouble seeing Derpy successfully repairing much of anything. Sure, she had softened on the mare a lot over the last several months... but the clumsy weather mare did remain some kind of menace in a lot of ways. She could very easily see Derpy breaking everything in sight in an effort to repair just one thing. She didn't, however, feel a real need to question it.

​

“Before we do anything else, I gotta eat. Hmmm, I wonder what sort of cereal we’ll be served today?”

“I agree! Let's all get some nice chow before we have fun. Don't want to bop around the ship on an empty stomach, right Ly-Ly?”

"Sure thing, Bonnie Bon!" Lyra chirped with a little bounce. "As satisfying as the coffee is, it's no substitute for a tasty breakfast!" she added with a nod, following after her mare as she went to exit the room into the hall beyond. Her bounce fell when she saw what was beyond the door...

​

“What the hay...? ...I wish I was just dreaming of pineapples...”

Lyra stared with wide eyes at the scene as Bonnie spoke. Yep, suddenly island. This was strange. Just what in the name of Ceslestia had happened last night?

Unsure what to say or even think, she was silent for a long moment, then she looked back toward Derpy in the room. "Welp, doesn't look like you have much to worry about after all, Derps. I don't get the feeling anypony's going to be around to care about whatever that was you broke..." she said, her expression quite vacant.

​

[Bellosh]

Huh..... whatever Bon Bon and Lyra were looking at outside the room, it seemed to be spooking them. “What’s with you guys?” Derpy Hooves innocently asked while trotting out of the cabin to join her companions; “It looks like you two are seeing-

...........

Oh.” Indeed, that was the point where Derpy realized the grave condition the ship was in. The young mare heard no sound other than the waves breaking on the sandy shores of a deserted island. No sign of nearby ponies could be discerned, meaning the group of three were potentially all alone. After letter her mouth drop for several seconds, Derpy expressed the worst-case scenario in her head; “We didn’t do this to the ship last night... did we?”

​

[SteelEagle]

Bon Bon's mind had a hard time catching up with what she was seeing or not seeing. The ship had crashed and nopony was around. The ship had crashed into an island and nopony was around. The ship had crashed into an island and nopony was around and none of them had known it had happened. How could that be? Were they that out of it that they somehow missed all of this? Why had nopony come and get them? Was there any time to do so? Bon Bon looked out at the wreckage. It looked violent and fast and debris was scattered all the way across the beach. It only ever asked more questions than it could answer. She walked out into the hallway that led into the beach, daring a glance against the doors. They were all marked with an x in chalk. All of them, including their own door. Several small fliers were attached to the outside of the doors or, in the case of their door, several of them taped on. Bon Bon, shaking hoof and all, reached out and grabbed one.

“Dear guests. Stop. An emergency storm is approaching. Stop. We are evacuating this vessel. Stop. Please gather your belongings and exit your cabins. Stop. Gather on the top deck, where the REN Manehattan will pick us up. Stop. The crew shall do a run through of the cabins to find anypony remaining before the storm hits. Stop. We apologize- Stop. Sunshine, please stop playing with mommy's typewriter, she is working. Stop. Stop it. No, stop typing stop stop stop stop-” Bon Bon facehoofed, her mind trying to piece together the night. So at some point there had been a storm warning and they had been told to evacuate, but they had been too far in their drunken hangover sleep phase that they didn't hear...anything. Bon Bon laughed the laugh of a mare who didn't want to laugh.

“Celestia above, we didn't hear ANYTHING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Bon Bon started to cackle wildly. Yep, she was gone.

[RarityDash]

"No, Derps, I don't think even you could do all this on your own," Lyra joked, looking at the gray mare. Derpy's feats of destruction were indeed legendary, but to crash an entire ship on an island was beyond her alone. Probably.

Lyra honestly wasn't sure what to think about it all. She had never crash landed on a remote island before. She didn't really know what the proper procedure for such things was. Generally she enjoyed new experiences, but this was one she was kind of maybe unsure about. That said, Lyra was very much a take things as they come pony.

Bonnie on the other hoof... yeah... she looked to be needing some consoling. Lyra moved over to her madly cackling fillyfriend and threw her foreleg over her to embrace her. "There, there, Bonnie Bon, it's probably not as bad as it seems."

"It's kind of a pretty island, after all, and all of us are okay and together," she said with a brightness and an unflagging optimism. "If we keep ourselves together and make the best of our situation, I'm sure everything will turn out for the best. We can just think of it as a new adventure!"

"Besides, Derpy Derps still has wings. She could maybe fly and go get help," she suggested, giving some nods.

​

[Bellosh]

Derpy Hooves was way ahead of Lyra; “I have no idea where the closest piece of inhabited land is, but it can’t be too hard, can it?” With her spectacular cross-eyed vision, the pegasus did not anticipate it taking long before spotting something like an island, ship, or even one of them oceanic weather teams always working to keep the Sparkling Sea a safe place to travel. “Wish me luck gals; in the meantime, try not to get any more insane!” Giving the maniacal Bon Bon a final stern look, Derpy set off on her heroic quest, slowly but surely disappearing into the distance.....

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*EXIT DERPY HOOVES*