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Wynd Flash [Ready]

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Name: Wynd Flash, Nicknamed Wyn or Wynd

Gender: Female

Age: Young Mare

Species: Pegasus

Eye colour: Dark purple

Character colour: Pale blue

Mane/Tail/Other: Navy and light turquoise curled mane, Curled/ruffled tail: matching colors, Simple black bracelets on left hoof, black rounded glasses

Physique: Thinner than average pony, Stallion-like head: more curved, "Alicorn" wings.

Residence: Ponyville

Occupation: Wynd helps the other pegasi clear the clouds from the skies.

Cutie Mark: Grey tornado. Wynd Flash had always wanted to earn her cutie mark, so badly, ever so badly. She attempted everything, even baking, which she hated. Nothing worked, and she got frustrated, angry. She barely talked and kept herself reserved. One day, bullies would constantly yell "Blank flank!" at her, smirking and laughing, happy with themselves. She couldn't stand it anymore, so she decided to take action. She approached the bullies and started to talk to them. When she started raising her voice, she realized the winds would pick up speed, making her suspicious. One time, she started yelling and the bullies were thrown back by the air. She was amazed at what she thought as herself at the time.

Wynd earned her cutie mark one day when she was practicing her flying skills as a filly. She was trying to perform a Sonic Rainboom, which failed. All of her life she had been interested in creating cool weather patterns while flying. Other fillies (girls) were interested in popularity and having the best things such as jewelry. This caused Wyn to be separated from her peers in morals and goals. So on one eventful day after school, when her parents were away, Wynd Flash tried to attempt a spectacular Sonic Rainboom. She shot up into the air, slicing through some clouds. But then, a nauseous feeling swept over her. She had never told anyone she had a fear of heights.

Wyn started to fall, but quickly started rolling in mid-air, regaining her senses. Happiness engulfed Wynd like a wave of water. She felt free, free to anything. She was doing what she wanted, and nobody would judge her for that. And then Wyn opened her eyes. She was surrounded by multiple tornadoes. She was in the middle, just a few feet off the ground, and she realized where she was near. Her house. But it was too late. Her home was a pile of rubble and wood. She felt so bad, Wynd started to fly down, down towards the small town of Ponyville. She spent her life there, eventually contacting her parents and working everything out. She wasn't so reserved anymore.

Unique Traits: Wynd has a notch in her wing where when she moves the bone, it will allow her to create fierce winds by flapping her wings. Being Wynd "Flash", she is able to fly at high speeds, up to 89 miles an hour.

History: Wynd Flash grew up in the wonderful realm of Cloudsdale, with a healthy and happy childhood. She had many friends, she always made them laugh. She always showed off her flight tricks to the other fillies. Her big dream was to become a Wonderbolt, to fly in the sky with other pegasi who had talents just like her. In school, Wyn was always front-of-the-class, most called on and intelligent in her class. Wynd's very pround of this accomplishment. But sometimes, she would be called "Nerd!" or "Geek!". This didn't phase her, she kept her head held high.

Wyn's relationship with her parents was healthy. She respected them, and vise versa. They always encouraged her do follow her dreams of becoming a Wonderbolt and to keep practicing her flying skills. Often, her parents would train with her as a filly. Once, Wyn started to grow up, she developed a temper, and grew rebellious. One day while fly-practicing, she tried to perform a Sonic Rainboom. This failed, but she succeeded in creating multiple tornados that blew down her home. She moved to Ponyville after this incident, she was afraid of what her parents would think of her actions. She contacted her parents later, and they forgave her.

Character Personality: Wynd is a bit shy, but will open up once she is friends with you. She has a good sense of humor, and loves to make ponies laugh with her jokes. She doesn't talk in groups much, but she does when she has an idea to contribute. Wyn also has an overactive temper, lashing out when things don't work out, or when somepony mentions a Sonic Rainboom. It makes Wynd very uneasy. She is very stubborn when she is in a rant or argument. She is also a mix between an optimist and a pessimist. She sees both the positive and negative, depending on the situation. This is half because she is a Gemini, the sign of the Twins. Wynd Flash hates making decisions, she never can figure out which choice is right or wrong. This is why she tries to stay out of big group projects, and why she is not a leader at heart. She would rather let someone else make the decisions for her.

Character Summary: Wynd Flash is a great friend to others, once they get to know her true self. You will catch Wyn either reading a long book or listening to music on her MP3 player. She will tell you that books and music are her life. She "lives" in her book worlds, a secret daydreamer that nobody knows about. She also dreams of life beyond Equestria, even what it would be like to be a different creature. Wyn is a ponderer, she thinks deeply about things like "what if" and "why not." Wyn has an interest in Unicorn magic, wishing she had both magic and flight, an Alicorn like the Princesses of Equestria. Wyn likes books and music, as previously said. She also takes a liking to drawing, it expresses her creativity where words cannot explain. Wynd is secretly trying to be a philosopher, she has many views of life. Since she mainly observes, Wynd thinks she s a good potential philosopher.

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Hey there! Nice to see ya again dude! Where have ya been? :)

Anywho, I'm not an RPH, but I can give you some advice! :D

First off, I think "Young Mare" is enough rather than "Young 'Adult' Mare"

'Mare' is the age given for adult ponies you see, and putting 'Adult' before kinda makes it sound weird... just sayin...

Second, In the Mane/Tail/Other section, I suggest describing her accessories as well, cause according to her picture, she seems to have some things ya left out... :D

Third, I'm not sure if ya should, but I suggest placing a Cutie Mark story somewhere, Without it, the character just seems a empty to me...

Fourth, I'm not sure about this one either but, In the Unique Traits section, how does she control storm clouds? Does she use some kind of magic? Does she use her wings? Or does she move them around? I suggest explaining it a bit, It can make your character look more interesting! :D

And lastly, I suggest adding some length to the History, Character Personality, and Character Summary. Because it seems a bit short. The RPH can correct me if I'm wrong but, having more content in these sections can make your character have more 'soul' in it, ya know? :)

Well, thats all I got, keep in mind that I'm not a RPH, I'm just giving ya some friendly advice, good luck! :D

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Hey fangirl, good tips youv given though i think you missed that this is a Work In Progress(Im assuming that it is a WIP)

And id like to confirm/add to what my friend has said

1. Yes, Young Mare would be enough, though Young 'Adult' Mare is also fine.

2. Even though, yes, you have the pic there, you probably still need to describe your char so that when people are referencing the appearance, they know the right words as with just a pic, it can be taken a lot of ways.

3. Yes, i can confirm that a detailed Cute Story is needed for the app to be complete.

4. I do think some explaining might be needed. Like, the four great winds in bottles seems a bit far streached, how did she obtain these? How did she gain her high speed? These are all things i think you should add into your history.

5. Fanny is correct, the history and char summary will need expanding if you wish to get this in.

Now, for my own stuff i would like to say

The char summary and Char personality are normally just one section, the Char summary covers the personality PLUS her dislikes, likes, and hobbies, all of the stuff that you cant put elsewhere.

The speed thign i also think WILL need to be tonned down, that is fast and i dont even know if Rainbow Dash can fly that fast, and as a rule i have seen used here and there, no pony is allowed to be that much faster then dashie, though i might be wrong. Could i please get confirmation on this one from the RPH that reviews this App?

And other then that i cant see much else i can suggest.

Good luck pal :D

And as normal, i forgot the disclaimer....

DISCLAIMER: I am NO RPH, just giving user to user advice. All tips given are from experience.

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I know, my post was weird. I changed this to a WIP, so I'll be working on it. I'm not used to expanding things sometimes. Sorry, guys. :roll:

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Its fine, no need to apologize. If ya need any help expanding feel free to ask people for help, they might have a few tips that might really help you out

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Here is a list of things that you could add to your history

Where did she grow up?

Did she have a happy childhood?

What did she always want to be?

How was her schoolign life?

How is her relationship to her parents?

What did she do once she got older?

They are all things you could use.

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Awesome! I see that ya expanded it a bit! Cool! :)

I re-read your app, and it seems okay, may I add some more advice? :D

First, Those parts still need some expansion. I see that this is a WIP, so you should work on that! The questions RDD gave here are perfect to help you on expanding your app!

Second, in the Unique Traits section, I have an itching feeling about the 'able to control clouds part'. Its good that you were able to explain it, but it seems to far off. From what I know, the only pony species that can use telekinesis are unicorns. So, I dont think 'telekinesis with her hooves' is acceptable. Even in CC. This isnt the official thing though, so a RPH can correct me if I'm wrong.

That's all! Best of luck to you! :)

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I can confirm what Fanny was saying about the telekinesis, i have asked in the past if stuff like that is allowed and the answer i got was a clear no. She would have to use her hoofs or wind UNLESS somehow you incorporated some power pony stuff to make it make sense.

Minor thing, normally its easier if the cutie mark is in a seperate part then the actual CM, so i suggest maybe seperating it with a line.

Oh, something else i would like to say.

The 'Unique Traits' part is meant to be for stuff that makes a OC stand out, like strengths, special features that they have, stuff like that. There is a seperate part called 'Special Talent'(If im remembering the section properly) that the special talent comes in, though minor thing and i might be wrong.

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Don't have many more ideas for Unique Traits on Wynd. I took off the cloud thing. :/

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Its a minor thing, i have seen Apps with the layout u have.

Anyway, if you cant find idea's feel free to ask me for assistance, or anyone else that you feel comfortable approaching. If you are seriously stuck and want professional help, i would suggest sending a PM to Mojo or one of the RPH, they are a great help.

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Now like the others I am no RP helper but I cand give you some advice as well! :)

To begin with one thing that stood out to me in the personality is you said she can have an overactive temper. Now is there anything in particular that would set her off? Any names, words, references or events? Just pulling this out of the blue, if somepony caller her say "a hooflicker" would she just fly off the handle?

The other thing is the Cutie Mark story definately needs some details. A Cutie Mark is one of the most definitive parts of not only the pony themself but their life as it is what represents them and who they are. So take pride when writting the Cutie Mark story and make it show that without a doubt the Cutie Mark represents her!

The other thing is the 50 mph flight, we have no idea of what the scale of Equestria would be compared to our world. Now I know that to make a Sonic Rainboom you have to fly 761 mph. It was said in the episdoe Sonic Rainboom by (correct me if I am wrong) Pinkie Pie saying a Rainboom occurs when a Pegasus like Rainbow Dash brakes the sound barrier a sonic boom and a rainbow occur all at once, so yeah Rainbow Dash can fly faster then 50 but that also would mean Wynd Flash topping off at 50 mph is no where near the speed required. I know it sounds like I am being to literal but when they say it in as episode it has to be noted. Now for the twisters I cannot say much on those and that is best left to an RP helper not me :blush:

Now in the terms of good over bad you have alot more good things in this form then bad just a few minor things that might need addressed be other then that I would say you are almost ready! And remember I am ot an RP helper so I don't know everything and cannot tell you for sure what needs fixed. But good luck to you! :D

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Hi there!

First, I want to thank everyone who has been giving great advice on this app! I would just add that you do have all of the required fields filled, however, I still don't see a detailed cutie mark story. The story of how a pony gets their cutie mark can tell much about that pony's personality, goals and dreams. I can see you've done much work on this app, and that's good. It's very close to being acceptable and ready for the next stage in analysis.

:D:D:D

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What should I add? I'm horrible at things like that.

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For the cutie mark story, you could try and use events that ead up to it. Like, maybe as a filly she tried to get her Cutie mark, only to constantly fail. When all hope was lost, maybe something happens that gives her a chance.

Ik, a bit sad, though its just a example.

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Yeah, it's ready for judging I guess.

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