Changeling Twisted Mirrors [Ready]

[Frogmyre]

Name: As a Changeling, Twisted Mirrors. As a pony: Mirrored Dreams.

Gender: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Changeling

Eye colour: Normal Changeling blue. When Mirrored, he also has blue, but more of a navy blue than anything.

Character colour: Black chitin in his Changeling form. As Mirrored, a white coat, that he keeps well brushed.

Mane/Tail/Other: A tattered green Changeling mane and tail. Certainly not his main feature. When a pony, his mane and tail are the same, a greyish black color. The contrast between his mane, tail, and coat is quite obvious.

Physique: Very bug like wings, and a regular changeling horn. Mirrored, as a unicorn, has a horn as well. When Mirrored, he's about the norm for most ponies.

Residence: An apartment in the Residential Districts of Baltimare.

Occupation: Psychologist.

Cutie Mark: For obvious reasons, as a Changeling, he doesn't have one. As Mirrored, it's a mirror held aloft by a cloud.

Unique Traits: Can easily, just from paying attention to a pony's body language, and what said pony says, figure out what is wrong with the pony in question, and figure out how to help.

History:

As a changeling, Twisted was pretty normal. Feeding off the love that Chrysalis gave him, going on routine scouting missions, just like any other changeling. However, he had always felt like he was a bit too normal; like there was absolutely nothing special about him whatsoever. This came from being in such a large hive of Changelings. It got to the point where he just couldn't stand being so normal anymore, and would have left, given the chance. Of course, Changelings, in his hive at least, weren't given one.

One day, however, he was selected to be part of a small scouting party to Baltimare, to gain intelligence on possible invasion sites. This mission was one of several, which ultimately lead to the (unsuccessful) Canterlot invasion. The first day went as planned, with each of the changelings adopting a ponysona, and setting off to explore Baltimare. Twisted, on this first day of exploring, found Mirrored Dream's office building. Twisted was interested by the name on the plaque over the door, as it reminded him of his own. He went inside, claiming to having an appointment. Of course, Mirrored didn't recognize the pony, but figured that anyone claiming to have an appointment, must have some reason for doing something so crazy, and Mirrored was desperate for patients, since it had been quite a while since he had last gotten one. In fact, it had been all long, he had to snap up the first chance he got, that being Twisted. Twisted, at first, was nervous, and just made up things to talk about. However, he soon found himself relaxing, and telling Mirrored all of his problems, and how he felt too normal. Mirrored found what Twisted was talking about to be very intriguing, as he had never encountered a problem like that before. However, he could tell something was off with Twisted. When pressed on this, Twisted fervently denied it, but Mirrored didn't believe him. However, he invited Twisted to come back the next day, hoping he would explain. Twisted happily excepted this invitation, as he found Mirrored as interesting, as Mirrored found him.

On the second day, however, the Canterlot scouting mission was proven to be the most successful, as the scouts had made the most encouraging reports. So it was chosen to be the invasion site. All the other scouting parties were called off, to join the main force. This included Twisted's group, all of whom flew off. However, Twisted himself remained, remembering his invitation. He gave the excuse that he just needed to do one more thing, a rather flimsy, but still usable excuse, before joining the force, and headed off to Mirrored's office again. He soon found himself there, and talking with Mirrored again. This time, he gathered up the nerve to drop the glamour, and reveal himself to be a Changeling. He explained to Mirrored what a Changeling was, and why he was in Baltimare to begin with. Mirrored found this so curious, he came up with a brilliant idea, to him at least. The idea was, Twisted would take Mirrored's identity, and carry out his life like normal, whilst the real Mirrored went off an a vacation, since he hadn't gotten much free time, and was desperate enough to jump on the first chance to take a vacation he could get. Twisted agreed, finding the idea quite favorable to himself, and took Mirrored's form, as required.

The only reason none of Twisted's group ever came looking for him, was that they all ended up injured in the fight, and whilst they recovered back at the hive, completely forgot about Twisted. This was an upside to how forgettable a normal Changeling Twisted was. Of course, even after the knowledge of Changelings spread from Canterlot, nopony ever suspected that Mirrored had been replaced by one, as Mirrored had given Twisted a very detailed portfolio of his life. Another reason it was so easy, was the sheer length of time it had been since Mirrored had seen a patient.

Character Personality: Even when off the job, Mirrored always analyzes ponies, and tries to help them. Of course, this is mostly to gain their affection, thus feeding himself. He is quite warm and friendly, but keeps himself aloof from his clients, projecting an air of professionality. He is normally quite calm, but if somepony pushes him too far, he will snap.

Character Summary: He lives a comfortable life in Baltimare, and loves his job. Mainly because to him, it feels like he's being paid for feeding off ponies. He tries to keep up to date on the newest breakthroughs in psychology, but has trouble finding them. He likes to find out about his clients, and draw out their sessions, so that he can get the most possible love from them.

Appearance:

So, I'm posting this here for two reasons:

1, To have this somewhere concrete, where I can edit it later.

2, So that people can look over it, and tell me what they think!

I will say this: This is my first attempt at making a (pony/changeling) OC, for RP use or otherwise. So I'm a bit wary of doing this., for obvious reasons. And as you can tel, I'm not too good with making histories. Any ideas for the rest of it is wecome! And same goes for the history, when I write it.

[DerpRavener]

Two things I want to say about this.

First, how exactly does his talent work? Does he just have a knack for reading between the lines with what ponies say and tease out things relating to their problems? I found it a bit vague.

As for history, the advice I would give is that it doesn't need to be that complicated. I've found that 3-4 paragraphs, each one covering a key time or event in the character's life, is enough. You're certainly allowed to use more, but I've found that's enough to build a character.

With a changeling like this, there are three major questions i would think about and use as jumping off points for writing the history: Why do they live among ponies? What was their connection or reaction to the Canterlot Invasion? How do they carry on now that the existence of changelings is open information?

[Frogmyre]

Two things I want to say about this.

First, how exactly does his talent work? Does he just have a knack for reading between the lines with what ponies say and tease out things relating to their problems? I found it a bit vague.

As for history, the advice I would give is that it doesn't need to be that complicated. I've found that 3-4 paragraphs, each one covering a key time or event in the character's life, is enough. You're certainly allowed to use more, but I've found that's enough to build a character.

With a changeling like this, there are three major questions i would think about and use as jumping off points for writing the history: Why do they live among ponies? What was their connection or reaction to the Canterlot Invasion? How do they carry on now that the existence of changelings is open information?

First, thank you for the help!

Second, it has been edited, but the history needs work. Due to life, and circumstances, I'll have to write more of it later. Right now, it's rough, and in need of a rewrite.

[Frogmyre]

Right, I'm saying this is ready. As of right now, I'm not too happy with his history, as it is, but until I can think of something that either improves it, or is better in general, I'm sticking to it. Criticism and advice is welcome, of course!

[DerpRavener]

There are some parts which read a bit oddly to me, but overall I think it works.

I'm not an RP Helper though, so I can't make any official judgement.

[Frogmyre]

There are some parts which read a bit oddly to me, but overall I think it works.

I'm not an RP Helper though, so I can't make any official judgement.

If you could possibly tell me what those parts were? The writer part of me needs to know. But thank you! *Waits for the RPH*

[DerpRavener]

Here were the two big things that struck me:

-Why would the psychologist assume that someone who claims to have an appointment has something worth listening to? My expectation would be that someone who claims to have an appointment like that is either being petty or acting suspiciously. Maybe he's in the middle of a lack of cases, and is struck by curiosity.

-Something unclear in the story is whether or not Twisted was loyal to the hive before he left. If he always had doubts, something to that effect should be stated to explain why he left for Equestria so readily. If he was confident in his loyalties, was he conflicted about leaving the hive? If not, why not? What changed?

[Frogmyre]

Here were the two big things that struck me:

-Why would the psychologist assume that someone who claims to have an appointment has something worth listening to? My expectation would be that someone who claims to have an appointment like that is either being petty or acting suspiciously. Maybe he's in the middle of a lack of cases, and is struck by curiosity.

-Something unclear in the story is whether or not Twisted was loyal to the hive before he left. If he always had doubts, something to that effect should be stated to explain why he left for Equestria so readily. If he was confident in his loyalties, was he conflicted about leaving the hive? If not, why not? What changed?

Alright, I'll get to fixing that! To quickly explain before I edit it in...

1. Yes, as I should have made clear earily, Mirrored was in somewhat of a slump, and didn't have any current paitents. This is part of why Twisted could take Mirrored's place so easily. But I should make that more clear! (If you check the last paragraph, I did say something about it, I think.)

2. Hm... I do need to say something about that, don't I? Thanks!

Also, I edited in Mirrored's appearence, under the spoiler.

Edit: Ok, it's been edited. Oh, and Mirrored is a blank flank, untl I can find his cutie mark. Or get someone to draw it. Or draw it myself!

[DerpRavener]

Alright, I'll get to fixing that! To quickly explain before I edit it in...

1. Yes, as I should have made clear earily, Mirrored was in somewhat of a slump, and didn't have any current paitents. This is part of why Twisted could take Mirrored's place so easily. But I should make that more clear! (If you check the last paragraph, I did say something about it, I think.)

In regards to this point: I saw that it was mentioned, which is why I brought it up, but it seemed more in relation to why he would be able to transition a changeling to take his place, rather than why he might entertain a pony unannounced. Playing around wit the order of the sentences a bit should fix it.

[Frogmyre]

In regards to this point: I saw that it was mentioned, which is why I brought it up, but it seemed more in relation to why he would be able to transition a changeling to take his place, rather than why he might entertain a pony unannounced. Playing around wit the order of the sentences a bit should fix it.

Right then! I've edited the history, and I like it a bit better now. What do you think?

[DerpRavener]

I think those issues are cleaned up now, so I'd say he's good to go.

[Frogmyre]

I think those issues are cleaned up now, so I'd say he's good to go.

::Now to play the waiting game. *Plays The Waiting is the Hardest Part*

[Mojo]

My apologies for not getting to this app sooner. DerpRavener has been giving you excellent advice, and I concur that this app is ready for further review.

I am recommending it for Senior RPH analysis!

[Frogmyre]

My apologies for not getting to this app sooner. DerpRavener has been giving you excellent advice, and I concur that this app is ready for further review.

I am recommending it for Senior RPH analysis!

Thank you very much!

(You know, I read your posts either in the voice of Mojo-Jojo, or Austin Powers. This makes them funnier, and that's a good thing!)

(P. S. There really should be a Flutteryay emote.)

[Armony]