I hope this doesn't backfire...

[AuTribune]

So I'm new to the forums I posted in the welcome area so that's taken care of...

In there I expressed that I'm here because I have a bit of a problem, and I'm looking for support from peers...

at least that's what I was recommended to do by people in my life so here I am and here's my problem...

I went to Fan Expo 2014 and the my little pony voices were hosting a panel, just like last year when they hosted a panel then.

Let me first get this part out of the way (full disclosure) I have Autism / Asphergers syndrome So... things like etiquette and other things need to be explained to me still... I'm still Kind of learning but I'm getting there...

Anyways Last year I did an impression for the voice actors and they played along too and it was a great time fans were having fun. I was feeling really great about that life experience.

and this year, I got into the panel early with a few other people, when enough seats were filled, we put on the Cafeteria song and started singing it at the top of our lungs, we tried to get others to join in but... there was only like 2 or 3 who kinda did and the rest of the room which was a jammed packed over 100 seats room was silent for the entire song, so the guy who was playing the music put on other songs in attempt to see if other people would join in because maybe they didn't know the cafe one, we practically finished the venue and the voice actors arrived, how cool would it have been if the voice actors walked in, and the entire crowd was singing the cafeteria song? ...still, that's not what made this experience suck so bad...

I thought to myself, "well that didn't go over like in my head but at least we can listen to these voices now and I'm sure they're be a q & a session.. right next to me in the chairs was a super pony fan-girl, she would yell out random things depending on what the pony voices said and well...she was the only one doing that...the rest of the fans stayed stoic...like some kind of statue thing.

by the time the Q & A rolled around I was nervous but I sprung out of my seat, unlike last year where I severely questioned myself, my question was going to be "Will Record Scratch ever Talk?" but the lady going down the line reviewing the questions literally said AND I QUOTE TO A T "that question is inappropriate" ....

SO I had to pick something on the spry which was something like "How long have you been voice acting?" same question I asked last year but it got approved anyways.

I got to the front of the line, and I shouted "Hi there every pony, REMEMBER ME?" into the mic... it was kind of a ...slip up on a greeting? Usually, this is how I greet others I haven't seen in a while...the voice of pinkie pie gave me a very awkward response of "Suree~" throughout my entire time asking my question they sounded very awkward and didn't look very impressed... oh I neglected to mention, I did my impression too... but unlike last year... the crowd was quiet. I felt like there was chairs filled with stones sitting behind me.

I ran out crying, I couldn't continue being in that room after that situation. I was devastated ...

My friend came out 5 minutes later because it had ended, she sympathized with me and gave me a support pat. and then explained to me why what I said was wrong. I understood after but until she told me I had no idea.. I told her "I'm just not going to make myself ... seen that much ever again." and that struck her because usually ... I'm a big show offy rainbow dash type but I was socially beaten into a fluttershy type.

now its been 2 months since then... I have my little pony merchandise in my home, and I cant listen to the music, or go shopping or anything because its everywhere and every time I see or hear it I want to cry because Im just reminded of the embarrassment that not knowing has caused me. I wish I didn't do that, that it just stayed in my head like most things now

but I'm so devastated because I can't watch mlp, I cant buy mlp cant listen to their music without feeling like I want to cry... if there was a way I could apologize maybe that would clear up this thing?

I felt like mlp was a place I could be myself because... its accepting?

but now I know that there is no place in the world for my autism.

[Hawkeye12]

Hi there! I'm a fellow newb to this site, so I'm looking for some friends too. I've read over what you said here, and I think I can give you some helpful advice (Oh, and just so you know, I have a pretty close friend with autism, so it's alright man)

Okay, so the first thing I think of after I read this was: why do you think you can't watch MLP? No one's stopping you! If you really love it, watch it! The brony fandom is probably the most accepting fandom I've been in. It doesn't really matter who you are, what you look like, whatever. You're always accepted.

Anyway, another point I should bring up. What you did is probably not as bad as you make it out to be. (and this is coming from someone who absolutely HATES being embarrassed) I'm sure it felt pretty awful, and you would want to apologize. And apologizing is okay, believe me! But either way, my best advice is to forget he past and move on. If you really like MLP, keep watching it. Listen to the brony music. Buy mercandise. (*cough Blackgryph0n is best cough*) Just do what you love! Trust me, no one is holding you back.

To put it simple: Everyone slips up at some point. Some more than others. But it's best to learn from those mistakes, and move on with your life.

Hopefully this helps! Believe me man, I'm not any professional, just a 15 year old guy who likes helping people. Best of luck to you

[QuickLime]

You went in there fully expecting for them to recognize and see you as a friend, you forgot that these people are not going to remember you, they have MANY many fans, so they arn't going to, and doing an impression of them might have been a bit too much...

I think you went in with too many high hopes and were disapointed , you just slipped up, and nobody is going to remember it, you just need to forgive yourself! And maybe next time try to not show off as much as you did.

I hope you feel better