DJ PON-3's Event R2 (Inkbrand / Clandestine)

[RainbowFoxxy]

 

Vinyl trotted back up into the DJ booth with a mischievous grin on her muzzle. The first round of speed dating was about to come to and end...and the second about to begin! It seemed that everyone had enjoyed their first round, she knew she had! But, there were more ponies to meet and who knew who she would end up dancing with at the rave later. Though she had originally thrown this event as a way of earning extra bits, throwing herself into the mix had ended up being fun so far. She stepped up, placing her muzzle in from of the mic.

 

"Alright fillies and gentlecolts! Time to back away before things get too hot and heavy!" She winked at a coffee brown mare and a griffon that seemed to have had fun on the first round. "Everyone on one side of the tables move two spaces right, all you on the other side two spaces left! You've got five minutes, make em' count!" Her unicorn magic caused the clock nearby to reset to five minutes. "Ready go!"

 

The DJ adjusted the music so that the speed daters wouldn't have to deal with awkward silences but also wouldn't have to yell to be heard. Time for some more fun!

---------

[Zealot]

As usual with most social gatherings, Clandestine had turned up a little late. Still, it hadn't seemed to bother any pony and they'd happily let her slide in along with a few other late arrivals. It was a bit of an awkward mishmash of position shuffling and reorganisation, but they'd managed to make it work somehow. Not that it really mattered to Clandestine all that much, she was quite content as long as she got to participate. After all, that was why she was here and if they'd not let her in then it would have been a waste of time. Gotten dressed up for nothing.

 

Indeed, that was why she'd been late. The soldier had underestimated just how long it would take her to get ready. Which was probably fine, she'd never really had to get ready for speed dating before. She'd never done it. Such a thought would have been absurd until a few months ago. Her support group as well as a few of her friends had urged her to try new things. To have fun and try to meet other ponies. So far it had been quite unsuccessful, and the mare's resolve was starting to flag. Clandestine hadn't let that stop her from making an effort though. When the flier came around she had decided to go, no matter the consequence. Even if it was after her usual jousting practice...

 

The mare's inexperience could quite possibly be misconstrued as a lack of effort, when in actual fact Clandestine had tried very hard to make herself look pretty for the occasion. Or at the very least, passable as a pony who hadn't spent all morning jousting. There was a large bruise on her right shoulder where repeated lance blows had bruised her skin, her coat was dull and despite her best efforts her mane was still a bit of a mess. Granted, it might look like she was going for a windswept look, but to anyone with a decent fashion sense it looked a mess. Still, she had tried. She really had, and although Clandestine knew she hadn't been successful. Well, admitting it was another thing entirely. The mare was wearing an old black party dress that she'd got as a present some years ago. While it still looked new, that was only because she'd barely worn it. A knife was concealed as usual, strapped to her front right leg.

 

The veteran took her seat and looked up to greet the stallion with a smile. It was forced, and it was obvious, but at least she'd remembered to smile. "Hi there," she greeted, trying to be cheerful. "Lieutenant Clandestine, 145744." Then she remembered with a wince that she'd just screwed up again. The poor soldier kept forgetting not to introduce herself with her name rank and number each time. "Err, I mean, hi I'm Clandestine," she hurriedly and optimistically covered. She figured that since this was speed dating she ought to elaborate on that. After all, they didn't have a lot of time. "I'm ex-military, working as a bodyguard most of the time." There was a brief pause as she examined him quickly before asking, "Who are you?"

[Zeig]

 

Round Two was a go.

Inkbrand barely refrained from eyeing Vinyl's backside as she sauntered back up to her place of honor, yelling out instructions. Well buck, he hadn't needed to move so far away from the table in the first place, but what the hay. The grey stallion made a quick and easy turnabout, throwing a wink at Zelda as he did so, though he honestly couldn't say if she caught it. And that was all the time he had for flirting before he found himself staring at his next speed date.

…If, he actually had a next speed date, that is.

"Oh, bullrot," the tattoo-clad stallion sneered, dropping into his chair with all the grace of a winded rhinoceros. Because he was feeling particularly petulant, Inkbrand draped one hind leg over the armrest of his chair, the very picture of nonchalance as he flicked imaginary dusty from one shoulder, sharp golden eyes taking in the room at large. It seemed nearly all the other dates had settled into their seats, using their minimal time to chat each other up as quickly as possible, and Inkbrand felt a quick and baseless spike of irritation lace through him. Why the buck was a seat being saved for a no-show, anyways?

Which is when something black suddenly entered his peripheral vision, taking an obvious seat on the opposite side of the table. "Was wondering when you'd show up," Inkbrand stated rather slyly, raising his head from where it'd been lounging on one upturned hoof, "not very nice to leave your date in…in the…"

…Uh-huh. So that's how it was going to be.

It had been a long, long time since a mare'd been able to make him speechless for any amount of time. Most recently, that one Nightmare Night when Radiant Star had walked out onto the street looking like everything that was ever good in the world rolled into one delicious white package. He was also fairly certain that one Pegasus he had "tutored", about the finer points of seduction, had left him somewhat speechless in her utter naivety of anything sexy and fun time.

But this was…something different.

Inkbrand let his voice trail off numbly as the mare took her seat opposite of him, too busy looking over his second date to remove himself from his lounging position sprawled across his own chair. The mare's age might have been a surprise in and of itself - she looked older than him, at least, just hitting the edge of her prime. But it was her appearance that really sent his eyebrows northwards. The Unicorn looked…

Well. To be perfectly honest, she looked like she had just rolled out of bed, put on the first dress she could find, and had somehow meandered her way into the speed dating session, as if entirely by accident.

The grey stallion remained eerily silent as the Unicorn began speaking, though his eyebrows couldn't help but raise even higher. Her pattern of speech immediately reminded him of Radiant Steel, explained a moment later as the mare identified herself as ex-military. Inkbrand almost couldn't stop the groan from leaving his lips, remembering his time with the grey Pegasus and her baffling yet innocuous approach to romance. Though, that thought quickly left as another took the forefront, and a second later, the grey stallion was just as successful stopping the leer from forming on his lips. The mare was obviously not really his type, but…

Ex-military. That was kind of hot.

Inkbrand continued to stare for a moment longer, sharp golden eyes taking in what appeared as nervousness, before abruptly letting his hind leg fall down from its draped position over the armrest. "Why, I'm Inkbrand," the grey Earth Pony stated as bluntly as Clandestine had asked, just a faint bit of surprise coloring his voice as if he were honestly stymied that she didn't know who he was. "Best Tattoo Artist in Equestria. Trust me - you won't get a better branding anywhere outside of my hooves," he finished smokily, voice dropping to a husky whisper.

How far could he take this with ex-military?

"Though I have to tell 'ya," he spoke up before Clandestine could say anything, resting one elbow against the table so he could lean over a bit, "you don't seem the type to be into this kind of thing. Wining and dining strangers in five minutes, that is. What're you looking for, hmm? That special somepony? Long walks on the beach? Don't ask me to serenade 'ya, you'll regret it," Inkbrand mocked-warned, voice clearly teasing as he used his hind legs to subtly scoot his chair a little to the side, closer to the corner of the table.
 

[Zealot]

Well, Clandestine thought she was doing rather well. At least she'd managed to get to a name, even if he'd been quite silent as she hurriedly introduced herself. In fact, she did wonder if she'd said something wrong, and her face showed it. Though she was quickly put at ease when he'd introduced himself as 'Inkbrand', a tattoo artist. Apparently the best in Equestria. She soldier remained as stoic as a rock. The unicorn was observing him, trying to size him up. She'd heard plenty of times of somepony who was the 'best in Equestria' at something. Frankly she didn't much care how good he was. Inkbrand was a tattoo artist and thought a lot of himself, that's what mattered. 

 

The stallion definitely had that detached feel to him. Just the way he lent back in his chair as he spoke, but then there were those blunt, to the point statements. The sharp tattoos on his leg and that cutting husky voice. Well that just didn't add up to her. Clandestine took a moment to weigh that up in her mind as he spoke. There had to be something else. Something she was missing. He's wrapped his hoof around the chair, scooting it over to the edge of the table. That was odd, was he trying to get closer or something? She guessed that was what it was, though had no clue why he would. Grabbing a chair leg or arm was a tell-tale sign that he might be hiding something. Still, Clandestine laughed as he cautioned that she'd regret it if he had to serenade her. In fact she couldn't help but add, "Likewise," to that. She continued carefully with, "A few stallions in my platoon got tattoos. They even asked if I wanted one, I declined. Still, if I ever feel like getting inked, I'll be sure to look you up."

 

That was when the mare scolded herself, looking slightly troubled. No doubt he was holding something back, so was she. The mare always looked for the double cross, any indication of treachery, no matter how small. No doubt she just made him feel uncomfortable, everypony was uncomfortable around her after all. He was probably just a nice laid back stallion having a nice time. Until she came along and he was forced to sit down with her. Clandestine hoped that her curiosity and doubt didn't show on her face.

 

Granted, Clandestine wasn't nervous. No, she was never nervous. Though she was unsure of herself and how to proceed. Wait, he'd asked a question. Probably just best to answer honestly, if only she knew how. The soldier gave a huff and regarded the table for a moment, muttering, "What am I doing here?" It was half to herself and half a statement. She looked up and shrugged, "You're right. I'm not really the wine and dine type as you said. Truth is civilian life is hard when you've been in the military as long as I have," she admitted.

 

Clandestine had come to term with this for a while in her meetings. The fact that she couldn't quite connect with other ponies quite apparent. She had no problem admitting it, even to a relative stranger. In fact, it made her feel a little better to remind herself why she was here. "Sure, I'm looking for my special somepony. If he still exists, if he ever existed at all, or whatever." The soldier brushed away the inference with the wave of a hoof. That was far too much to get into in five minutes. "In the meantime, I'll take what I can get. I need to get talking to ponies, so here I am." She gives off a 'so what' expression and glanced around the room. After all, she needed to check for threats. Something might have happened. Nope, they were all good it seemed.

 

It was definitely best to leave out her support group's insistence and her friend's support out of that. She'd never have come if it weren't for them, though she suspected it probably wouldn't be a good idea to mention that. "So yeah," she announced, sounding much more sure of herself. "What about you? What's the best tattoo artist in Equestria doing here, chatting up strangers in five minutes?" she asked with a chuckle. There was humour in her eyes, but also curiosity. Her paranoia always got the better of her in the end.

[Zeig]

 

Well.

If that wasn't as clear a "no" as he'd ever gotten for an inking, then he was pink with purple polka dots.

Still, at least the former REA (so he assumed) hadn't leapt over the table to throttle him, which Inkbrand considered a win in his favor anyways, so buck a tattooing. At least for now. For now, he'd settle on getting the mare to relax some more, something that seemed to be slowly happening. Or at least he thought so, could never really tell with those military types. For all he knew, Clandestine could be plotting on how to wedge a candle between his eyes in under three seconds flat at the moment.

Or contemplating his roguishly handsome good looks.

…Yeah. Probably the latter.

"Oh, you know," Inkbrand stated carelessly after Clandestine had finished speaking - and buck, the ramrod mare was a lot mouthier than he'd initially figured, which was bucking fine by him. Better than a mare that was so shy she couldn't eek out more than two words at a time, and he'd regrettably known a few of those two. "Somepony says Vinyl's throwing a rave and I'll come running like my flank's on fire," the grey stallion extrapolated, with a languid wave of one hoof towards the stage that Vinyl had vacated. Another shift of his chair had him perpendicular to the mare rather than opposite, and Inkbrand gave up all pretense of subtle as he shot the Unicorn a quick wink, straightening out his chair a bit.

Well, he clearly wasn't prompting the ex-miltiary into beating the living tar out of him. So that meant he was either making a good impression, or she just couldn't really be bothered. Either worked in his favor.

"I'll do 'bout anything for some salt and a good time," the tattoo-clad Earth Pony continued on after a moment, once again leaning his head on one upraised hoof as his elbow propped up on the table - though with his recent change in position, his face rested much closer to the mare's than before. "Even sit through all this jazz - " Here, a wave of his free hoof around the milling couples and dates. "Though I'm a bit like you, doll face - no need to kill myself trying to find that 'special one-of-a-kind pony'. Buck if she even exists, eh?"

Which, now that he thought about it, was probably the biggest reason those types of lovestruck ponies made him always want to roll his eyes. The idea of finding that special, perfect soulmate was about as laughable as it was pitiful, especially when ponies spent their lives searching for an ideal that probably didn't exist. All it could lead to was inevitable disappointment, especially when the love of one's life could be passed up simply because they weren't perfect.

That mare or stallion that could become a happily ever after, was never given a chance because they didn't fit a pony's idea of what happily ever after should be.

Well, more mare for him, as it were, and Inkbrand let his philosophical as rot thoughts drop as he focused back onto Clandestine, affecting an inquisitive expression. "'Least you're smart enough not to get sucked into that sort of rot," he stated, letting his head loll on his upturned hoof a bit, grin stretching out into more of a leer. "But stop selling yourself short. Beautiful Unicorn like you? S'your prerogative to be a bit choosy. 'Take what you can get', please," Inkbrand scoffed, voice once again dropping as he finally raised his head from his hoof, using the free appendage to reach forward and attempt to brush a few strands of mane away from the mare's shoulder. "You can't tell me all your old guard buddies weren't drooling all over you after work hours."
 

 

 

 

[Zealot]

Yes, with a quick deft movement she could snatch up the candle and plant it right between his eyes. That would send him reeling, and she would be free to follow up that attack with... and there she went again. Clandestine's mind kept wandering as he spoke, she wouldn't be doing her job if she hadn't come up with six different ways to dispatch the stallion already. Though she did involuntarily smile at the thought of Inkbrand in a panic about a sudden assault. Not that she would do such a thing unless he gave her a reason.

 

Still, he mentioned a rave. That was another reason Clandestine had come to this, though it was hardly a primary reason. She didn't really know what a rave was but it sounded like some sort of party, another way to get to know other ponies as she intended. After all, while she figured she was having a good start with Inkbrand, the soldier didn't know how long her luck would last. Though she blinked in surprise as she received a wink from the stallion. Perhaps she was doing a bit too well, or maybe she'd said something wrong. The soldier honestly didn't know what that meant, perhaps it had been just a friendly wink. Her instincts told her otherwise and for a moment they screamed at her, 'threat'. It was all the soldier could do but to ignore them and keep listening to Inkbrand. 

 

Clandestine took a few breaths and listened to Inkbrand's husky voice as he talked about finding that special somepony. That calmed her down, even if she didn't agree entirely with what he was saying. It was one of the things that kept her going, thinking that she'd meet that special stallion. While she knew that no-pony was perfect, she wouldn't mind to just have a pony to call a special somepony. She sure hoped that pony existed, else she didn't know what she was going to do with herself. Clandestine took another breath and smiled weakly at that, nodding complacently.

 

It occurred to her that he'd been getting ever so subtly closer. She was almost impressed, not many ponies could sneak up on her. Though in her defence she had been distracted by her own thoughts as well as trying to keep track of everything that was going on in the room. Though, he had just asked a question. It took her a moment to respond.

 

"What? You mean like, amorously?" she asked in turn. While Clandestine had a bit of experience with the heart, most of it was long in the past. Veterans never seemed to need the same kind of company the rookies did, and her first few years on the job had seen a number of satisfied stallions. Others were not so lucky, and suffered broken legs. A few others even went away with both, which were other stories entirely. 

 

The soldier was about to communicate this when her eyes were drawn to the outstretched hoof moving to her shoulder. Every sense in her body fired at once and it was hard for her to resist her instincts. First she recoiled and then her hoof raised to swat him away. It was entirely automatic and Clandestine had little control, though her hoof darted dangerously towards his she managed to stop it with force of will alone. The soldier just sat there for a few moments panting as adrenaline coursed through her and it took all the strength she had to withdraw her hoof back to her chair. "I... I'm sorry," she apologised, sounding a little distraught. "It looked like you were going to touch my shoulder and I..." she trailed off.

 

Clandestine suffered from many things, but perhaps most disabling was her phobia of touch. She hated it and felt very bad for any pony who had to deal with it. Unfortunately her conditioning meant that whenever some-pony tried to touch her, then it met with violent reflexes. The soldier had been getting better slowly, and with each time that it happened she had more and more control. Nowadays she could just about stop herself before she hurt somepony. 

 

She took a few moments looking down at her hooves, breathing in a controlled manner before trying to meet Inkbrand's eyes to explain. "I have a phobia of touch, I just can't do other ponies touching me. Not unless I'm very drunk," she lowers her eyes again. They were almost out of time, and now he was going to go away think she was some sort of freak. "I really am sorry, I'm doing everything I can to get better. It's hard though." Clandestine looks up with a sigh and smiles weakly at him. Now that she thought about it, he was actually quite handsome. Just a shame she was so incapable. "It was nice meeting you Inkbrand, again I'm sorry," she finished. 

[Zeig]

 

Ooo-kay, then.

That was…interesting.

Inkbrand couldn't help but freeze at the sudden movement, hoof outstretched towards her shoulder, nearly touching her own frozen hoof that had clearly and swiftly been raised to bat his away. Or, grab his hoof and slam him onto his back on the tabletop, either or. The pair of them probably seemed highly strange from the outside looking in, both of their hooves raised as if they had been about to clasp them together, and for a moment all Inkbrand could do was hold himself very, very, still, less a sudden movement incite the ex-military mare to snap his foreleg in half.

…Or, pull out a shiv and stab him to death. Again, either or.

The grey stallion slowly lowered his hoof away from the mare, face carefully deadpanned to keep the surprise and wariness off his expression, golden gaze trained on the Unicorn as she spoke in halting tones. Oh buck, one of those types - about afraid of a casual touch as a normal pony was of Tirek. She'd probably had some dramatic and traumatic wartime flashback when he'd move to touch her, or something equally theatrical.

Well, at least he'd found out about it early. No bucking way he wanted to deal with this issue, not even casually. No doubt he'd have to worry about approaching her from the correct side, or keeping his hooves entirely to himself at all times - and probably have to hold and comfort her after nightmares or some rot. And deal with her almost painfully polite apologizing.

Buck no. That sort of thing was for couples who were already in too deep to consider backing out.

But one thought nagged at him, a curiosity more than anything as the grey stallion resumed leaning one elbow on the table, though he forewent any effort to lean closer to the mare. "So you," Inkbrand started, then stopped, attempting to phrase the question with as much tact as he possibly could. Which, really wasn't much. "Decide to participate in a rave, surrounded by a flank-load of ponies all jumping about and bumping into each other on the dance floor?"

Buck, did the mare even know what a rave was? Honestly, Inkbrand didn't think he'd be all that surprised if the mare had no idea what she'd signed up for. Considering that she couldn't even handle a stallion touching her shoulder directly in front of her, he doubted she would have willingly signed up for a mishmash pit of grinding and gyrating bodies all too willing to bump flanks with her on a near constant basis.

…Maybe this was some sort of, psychological test Clandestine was trying to put herself through? Like, to help her get over her fear of touching? Though, throwing herself into a pit of bodies seemed like a really, really poor way to do that. Not that Inkbrand had any experience with getting over fears or anything, but slow and steady seemed better than a mental breakdown in the middle of the dance floor.

"Well," Inkbrand spoke up eventually, inspecting his hoof with a languid carelessness, "not really any of my business, what you do. Find me on the dance floor, if you want some extra help with your, problem. Or need some company to get 'very drunk'." Force of habit made him throw a grin in the Unicorn's direction, along with a quick wink - though in all honesty, Inkbrand was glad this speed date was coming to an end. He hoped the Unicorn wouldn't seriously take him up on his offer during the rave, but given what she'd shown here, he wasn't too worried. No way Clandestine would be able to make it past even the outer ring of dancing ponies.

…Probably.