Pestilence Plague (Ready/ and edited)

[ParrySlice]

Name: Pestilence Plague

Gender: Male.

Age: Adult.

Species: Changeling.

Eye colour: Black, in Unicorn form he has Blood red eyes.

Character colour: Black. (both forms)

Mane/Tail/Other: Blueish green mane of tangled hair with some splotches of Crimson red same with tail, in Pony form he is a Black Unicorn with a Blood red mane and tail.

Physique: Tall and kind of skinny, Pestilence looks a little malevolent in this form, and in his Unicorn form he looks less evil and more mischievous and well built. His wings are same Color as Mane and Tail.

Residence: lives in the Changeling Kingdom. (often travels though)

Occupation: Merchant and Entertainer.

Cutie Mark: N/A.

Unique Traits: specializes in hypnotism/mind magic.

History: Often times the Joker or an entertainer in the Changeling Kingdom, when he was born he was a deffective larvae, so he was supposed to be disposed of but he was given a chance because a healer who was skilled in fixing broken or out of place parts saved him he was saved but he has wheezes a lot, he was born with a rupture in his exoskeleton and he had to get it repaired at the time, although it worked a piece of chitin punctured his lung, he was grateful that he could be normal like other changelings except his voice, he respected the healer but he never really talked to him again.

Pestilence long ago when he was younger he wanted to find out who he really was, he tried cooking that failed miserably and then research and scientific studies but he was not into that, but then he tried Entertainment and he loved it he was a natural at playing the Lute even though he had hooves and despite his voice and lung he hummed and produced a hypnotic rhythm of strumming and serene humming and at times he loved to tell stories or be humorous in a changeling sort of satire, he later loved to travel and sell items to wanderers or play tricks on unwelcome or unsuspecting visitors.

Character Summary/Personality: Pestilence Plague is very malevolent and he is a bit of a trouble maker, he does like to entertain though his sense of humour is very sort of gruff and dark it isn't always that bad, Pestilence is very fond of music and art, he loves to listen to it and sing along quietly he knows though that he will never be able to sing good because of his puncturd lung. He is adaptable and cunning but very unpredictable. What other changelings don't know about him is that he often loved to disappear for awhile from the kingdom and travel around the Pony kingdoms or make a friend or two, he did this not as a spy but out of curiosity, pure unquenchable curiosity of what the Ponies are actually like so he can actually understand them, not destroy them he just wonders what having friends and freedom is actually like.

This makes him a little nervous when questioned by his own race, or about his history when it comes to Ponies. Pestilence isn't like his brood mates he doesnt hate or want to destroy the ponies he just wants an understanding of them and their culture and their world.

[IceStorm]

Okay, there are a lot of good things going here, but there are a few flaws with the character.

 

Changelings here are insect-like, which means their skeleton is a chitin-based exoskeleton. They wouldn't really have bones or any other structural anatomy like a pony would, so being born with a tumor on his rib wouldn't be possible. However, if you're looking for a similar alternative for the type of creature these are, but instead of his lung getting pierced by one of his ribs during the surgery, perhaps he was born with a contusion or a rupture of that part of the exoskeleton and perhaps his lung was accidentally clipped by either the scalpel during the repair, or a piece of the chitin itself.

 

We'd also like to see you expand on the back story just a bit more and flesh out some of the areas that reflect your character a bit more. For example, what's his relationship with the healer now, and what of his friends? Is he a loaner, or does he like traveling around with other changelings/ponies? How did he discover his liking for art and music? Those are just a few examples, but mainly we'd like you to expand on what your focal points of the character will be.

 

Also, something to remember, while having Hypnotism and some mind magic, These will not be able to be used on another player character during an RP because you want to do so, to use them on another character in a roleplay that's not an NPC, you will have to have the permission of the player who controls the character in question to do so. Controlling other characters without their permission is generally frowned upon.

[ParrySlice]

Okay I am on it.

[ParrySlice]

How is it now, just wondering this time I think it's ready.

[IceStorm]

Everything looks good to me now, submitting it for secondary review.

[ParrySlice]

So how was the review and how is the character, is it Standard to your approval?

And how long does the review take usually I am just curious.

[ParrySlice]

So another thing would like to inquire is can only one person Review my application or is it just taking a really long time because I have repeatedly checked over and over this character so is it at least acceptable and presentable.

[RainbowFoxxy]

Your character has been submitted for final review. We have a lot of characters being reviewed right now so some patience will be required while we sort through the submitted apps.

[ParrySlice]

Thank you for the information.

[ParrySlice]

How goes the reveiw?

[SteelEagle]