Krulos [Ready]

[Wurmpleguy]

 

Name: Krulos (Appears as a unicorn when in disguise)

Gender: Male

Age: Adult

Species: Changeling

Eye colour: Ice blue (Normal and diguise)

Character color: black (natural) brown (disguise)

Mane/Tail/Other: As a changeling his "mane and tail" are very dark shade of grey, when in unicorn form his mane and tail is white and worn messy. Also, as a changeling he wears some armor, a head piece and a chest plate 

Physique: being born a soldier he is well built, as a unicorn he is mostly built the same

Residence: Ponyville

Occupation: None, he likes to tell modified stories of his service time (so ponies don't know that he is a changeling)

Cutie Mark: None

Unique Traits: Krulos has a pet wasp called Hammerhead (named after one of solder he fought with that died) Krulos often uses him as a personal scout.

History: Krulos was a solder the minute his egg had been laid. He was born into a small changeling hive. For most of his early was spent training in Melee combat and what little changeling magic there was. He aced his training and quickly became a platoon commander.

 

During his service time with his hive he would partake in several small skirmishes ranging from ambushing travlers to fighting of creatures like timberwolfs. During one of thoose battles, he met and befriended Hammerhead.

 

During a battle with a changeling hive who demanded his hive to join them (who he would later learn to be Chrysalis's hive). His hive lost and was captured. Although Krulos was spared in exchange for joining their army.

 

Krulos participated in the Canterlot invasion commanding a reserve platoon. After being blasted away by the forcefield and left alone, Krulos saw this as a for retirement and took on his unicorn diguise and moved into ponyville. He still pleads loyality to the hive and will, in a blink of the eye rejoin them if a major conflict arises.

 

Character Summary: Taking a part in many conflicts has made Krulos into a serious but lighthearted person. He is friendly to most ponies for the sake of feeding of their emotions. He is mostly quiet, pefering to let his actions speak for him. He is a rather inactive pony, he would rather stay behind at home rather then explore the great beyond (if given a choice). He is very protective of his friends and would sacrifice limbs if it meant for their safety. He has little tolerance for smartalecs (not sure if that would be the proper term) or ponies who purposely annoy other ponies, the dislike spawning for his roots as a soldier. 

[Halide]

This is actually a fairly solid start. 

I understand you're still working on it, so I'll reserve any serious commentary until you say it's complete and ready for review, but outside of some work on grammar and formatting, you're doing pretty well for a character idea!

[Wurmpleguy]

Sorry for the late reply, but thanks!

Sent from my ZTE V768

[Wurmpleguy]

Im ready for review, could you please point out specific grammar mistakes as I'm still working on that. 

[Halide]

Alrighty then, let's take a look!

My revisions will be bolded.

 

> Mane/Tail/Other: As a changeling his "mane and tail" are a very dark shade of grey, when in unicorn form his mane and tail is white and messy. Also, as a changeling he wears some armor, a head piece and a chest plate.

 

> During his service time with his hive he would partake in several small skirmishes, ranging from ambushing travlers to fighting of creatures like timberwolves. During one of those battles, he met and befriended Hammerhead.  (Some explanation as to how you befriend a wasp might be good here, but it isn't necessary)

 

> During a battle with a changeling hive who demanded his hive to join them, his hive lost and was captured.  Krulos was spared in exchange for joining their army, who he would later learn to be Chrysalis's hive.

 

> Krulos participated in the Canterlot invasion commanding a reserve platoon.  After being blasted away by the forcefield and left alone, Krulos saw this as a chance for retirement, took on his unicorn diguise and moved into ponyville. He still pleads loyality to the hive and will, in a blink of the eye, rejoin them if a major conflict arises.

 

> Character Summary: Taking a part in many conflicts has made Krulos into a serious but lighthearted person. He is friendly to most ponies for the sake of feeding off of their emotions. He is mostly quiet, pefering to let his actions speak for him.

 

 

Now, that aside, I'd say you should do some more fleshing out of his character summary.  You've given a very brief synopsis, but I think there's more room to expand on your ideas.  You should ask yourself what sorts of thing this character enjoys or would like to accomplish, where he'd like to go in life, and other such questions that will really help add depth to your character.  Write down some of the things that make your character's personality shine!

[Wurmpleguy]

edited 

[Halide]

So I see!  I'm glad you took the time to add something more to your character summary.

I'll be passing this along to a senior roleplay helper, and see what they have to say from there!

[SteelEagle]