Blue Tide (Ready)

[PrinceoftheNight]

Roleplay Type: WoE
Name:
Blue Tide

Sex:
​​Female

Age:
Mare

Species:
Unicorn

Eye colour:
​Light Purple

Coat:
Light Teal

Mane/Tail:
​She has a long dark blue mane and tail that softly changes into light blue when it ends.

Physique:
Blue has the average mare size, but a athletic physique and high endurance.

Residence:
She lives in Baltimare, but often goes to Canterlot and different Port cities to supervise the ships.

Occupation:
Captain of the Royal Equestrian Navy. She commands her own ship, the HMS Hyperion, which she names the 'Queen of the Big Blue'.

Cutie Mark:
A golden anchor, representing her skills at sailing and everything related to ships.

Her father was a navy officer, and they lived near the docks of the city. Her father always took her in his small journeys he had from city to city, and all that inspired her to one day sail her own ship.
From a small age, she started reading books about ships and practicing her sailing skills, and she even managed to build a really small improvised ship, big enough to sail on a small river and hold a single filly. She really loved it, and she named it the 'small blue'. She went to sail to a nearby lake every day, but one day a storm came into the city when she was sailing in the lake. She was scared at first, but with all what she learned and practiced, she got her small ship pull her put of danger with out sinking and when she got back to the shore, she got her cutie mark.

 

Unique Traits:
She is skilled when it comes to sailing around, being able to do every single job a ship needs to stay alive. She is also athletic and rather both cute and charming. She is also able to read the stars and orientate herself thanks to them, as well as a cartographer, being able to draw sea charts if needed.

Blue had also shown her skills in directing the royal equestrian navy several times during her time in it, as she had organized the ships several times and had been tested in several skills during her training sessions on the officer school.

 

History:
Since the moment Blue Tide was born, everypony knew what was going to be her destiny. Her mother and father where on a journey to Whitescar for several months, as they were moving supplies from Equestria for selling. On a stormy night, on the last day of their journey, she small blue filly was born, with the help of a doctor that was in the ship.
Most foals when they are born, cry, and she was no exception, but the soft movement of the ship after the storm had passed, calmed her down into a peaceful sleep, and her parents knew what it meant. She was born for the sea.

 

She and her parents lived in a small house near the port area of Baltimare, Blue's room having a perfect view of what was the port district and the sea itself, something she loved. She went to school as all the other fillies and colts of her age, and had a really common and peaceful life, with the exception that her father constantly left in merchant journeys to the other major cities around the world.

As time passed, she started showing several skills in non-conventional areas. She managed to identify the stars, and had a really good sense of navigation, managing to help several of her friends escape the nearby forests when they get lost playing in there, and some rather amazing drawing skills and construction skills. She also got really interested in reading book related to the sea or sailing.

 

It was not until one day, as a small class project of her school, she decided to showcase a small ship! She gathered some materials and with the help of her mother, she managed to build a perfectly stable ship, which she called the 'small blue', capable of having a filly in it, as well as some supplies like food and bottles of water in it without sinking it. She showed the ship in class and got a perfect score, showing her knowledge on basic physics and hydrodynamic sciences.

 

One day, she decided to take some friends of her and show them what her little ship was capable of. She lead some fillies and colts to a nearby lake, and after bragging a bit, she put the small wooden ship in the lake, and hopped on it, before she started to sail it along the area. The ponies cheered her, but soon the cheers of joy turned into fear, a storm came into the city.

​The small ponies ran to their homes in fear, leaving she little filly alone in her ship. At first, she was afraid, but after a while, the fear turned into courage. Blue stood up and used some of her magic, as well as her knowledge, and started working in her small ship, managing to keep it floating until the storm was over.

​Her mother, worried for her, ran to the lake after the storm had passed, and as soon as Blue touched ground, she got her cutie mark, showing her sailing skills to everypony.

 

Years passed, and one day, she and her mother got the news that the ship of Blue's father, was destroyed in an accident while he was away, and nopony knew what had happened to him. That moment marked her life for ever. After what happened when she was a filly, she knew how it felt, and what it could cause... but there was still hope.

Filled with determination, Blue decided to join the royal equestrian navy in hopes of one day finding her father. She worked hard since the day she enlisted herself, and quickly moved up ranks, until she was given her own ship to command when she became captain. She nicknamed her ship the 'Queen of the big blue', in honor of her small ship she once built, and embarked on an expedition to save her father. She, after several days of asking her superiors to re-open the case of her father missing, was accepted and she was given the authorization of conducting her own investigation to find him.

​After months of  searching, she finally found out what happened to her father. After the accident, his father ended up in Whitescar, with several injuries that made him unable to go back to his home. He was proud of what her filly had become, and wished the best for her, before she went back home to tell her mother what had happened, as well to her superiors.

 

Blue decided to carry on her life as member of the royal equestrian navy, working as captain of her ship since it was what she loved doing the most.

 

 

Character Personality:
Blue Tide is a rather cheerful and smart mare. She tends to push ponies to the limit so they give the 110% of themselves, as well as make sure they are fine so they can improve themselves. She can sometimes get irritated when ponies start acting against the moral principles of Equestria, as well as the rules of the royal equestrian navy. She as well despise drinking any sort of alcohol most of the time, and she rarely drinks any, only on parties or celebrations.

When she is not in duty, she tends to be rather friendly with almost everypony, but keeps talking formally to all her fellow sailors and officers even off duty.

Most of her determination to carry on is to make her father proud of her, since he had always been her inspiration and hero.

 

Character Summary:

​Blue had showed since she was a small filly what she was capable of when it came to sailing ships. She sailed for the first time the same day she got her cutie mark, even though it was a high risk what she did.

When his father's ship sank, she was filled with determination and joined the Royal Equestrian Navy in hopes to find him, and eventually managed to find him, but was not able to take him back home for past injuries he had.

Even though she didn't managed to bring her father back, Blue carried on her life an eventually moved up ranks until she became an admiral of the navy.

[RainbowFoxxy]

How's this app coming along? Need more time?

[PrinceoftheNight]

How's this app coming along? Need more time?

Sure. I have my Luna app in ready, and I have to make the prompt, then I will go back to finish this one.

[Bellosh]

Now that your Luna app's stamped, this app can be marked [Ready] whenever you please.

[PrinceoftheNight]

Now that your Luna app's stamped, this app can be marked [Ready] whenever you please.

I jusy have to finish it x3

[Bellosh]

This app checks out for the most part. Based on Blue Tide's characterization and skills however, I do not believe that the rank of Admiral suits your OC. Overseeing a ship's crew is one thing, but nowhere in this app do I get the sense that this pony is fit to command an entire fleet of ships. If you don't really plan on your OC being a fleet commander, then I suggest keeping her as a Captain.

• Minor Nitpick #1: Names for naval ships are decided by the leadership at the highest levels of command; not by a captain. Your OC's ship would have a different official name, but perhaps it got an unofficial nickname on account of its captain.
• Minor Nitpick #2: Enlisted personnel in a navy are sailors (or marines if serving a naval infantry role); not soldiers.

[PrinceoftheNight]

This app checks out for the most part. Based on Blue Tide's characterization and skills however, I do not believe that the rank of Admiral suits your OC. Overseeing a ship's crew is one thing, but nowhere in this app do I get the sense that this pony is fit to command an entire fleet of ships. If you don't really plan on your OC being a fleet commander, then I suggest keeping her as a Captain.

• Minor Nitpick #1: Names for naval ships are decided by the leadership at the highest levels of command; not by a captain. Your OC's name would have a different official name, but perhaps it got an unofficial nickname on account of its captain.
• Minor Nitpick #2: Enlisted personnel in a navy are sailors (or marines if serving a naval infantry role); not soldiers.

Alright, I will add some commanding skills then.

And make those minor changes to the rest.I will.change the name and the one I gave it will be her nickname for it.

[PrinceoftheNight]

 

This app checks out for the most part. Based on Blue Tide's characterization and skills however, I do not believe that the rank of Admiral suits your OC. Overseeing a ship's crew is one thing, but nowhere in this app do I get the sense that this pony is fit to command an entire fleet of ships. If you don't really plan on your OC being a fleet commander, then I suggest keeping her as a Captain.

• Minor Nitpick #1: Names for naval ships are decided by the leadership at the highest levels of command; not by a captain. Your OC's ship would have a different official name, but perhaps it got an unofficial nickname on account of its captain.
• Minor Nitpick #2: Enlisted personnel in a navy are sailors (or marines if serving a naval infantry role); not soldiers.

 

 

Made the changes to all what you mentioned

[Bellosh]

Before we go further, I'd appreciate it if you improved the grammar and formatting in this app. You don't consistently put spaces in-between paragraphs, and it your newest edits in particular are especially sloppy in terms of spelling and wording. Once this app is made more presentable, then we can proceed with the app evaluation.

[PrinceoftheNight]

Before we go further, I'd appreciate it if you improved the grammar and formatting in this app. You don't consistently put spaces in-between paragraphs, and it your newest edits in particular are especially sloppy in terms of spelling and wording. Once this app is made more presentable, then we can proceed with the app evaluation.

 

My weak spot...

 

Anyways, did what I could.

[Bellosh]

Anywho, while I do appreciate your effort in expanding on your OC, I still don't get the sense that this OC could actually be an Admiral instead of someone lower-ranked. Furthermore, the minimalistic edits you've actually inserted that you don't really understand how to make a believable characterization of someone who's been in the Navy long enough to have earned one of the highest ranks. It's nowhere near enough to simply state your OC took some tests and BOOM, she's an Admiral. Here's a list of some of the things I find objectionable:

• Blue Tide has no gravitas attached to her. Based on what's presented in this app, I don't see a character who understands the true realities of command, or demonstrates those special qualities that'd have propelled her to the highest ranks instead of all those other captains gunning for that Admiral promotion. Again, it is not acceptable to claim your OC has the qualities and knowledge to be an Admiral, and then just leave it at that. It also has to show through her Personality.
• Your edits also reveal that you have a disjointed understanding of how a believable military career path looks like. Conducting more thorough research into Navy ranks will help you get a clearer picture of your OC's history.
• With all due respect, your OC comes off as more of a generic high-seas adventurer than a true military officer. Real-life officers would not, for example, divert resources and personnel on an unsanctioned personal quest like finding a long-lost family member. That sort of stunt would have earned Blue Tide a court martial and a one-way trip out of the Navy.

 

Instead of officer-material, I see a Sailor Sue who happens to be good at all tasks merely because the user says so (which due to how real militaries work, would also never get a chance to happen). While Blue Tide may just be an OC, the high position you've given her means that getting her characterization down pat is that much more important.  I hate to say it, but your admiral OC in its current state will not be taken seriously by other naval roleplayers in WoE.

 

I've been down this road before with other players, who create characters intended to play big roles in the RP world yet come off as edgelords or special snowflakes because the player in question just doesn't have the right level of RP experience yet. My gut tells me that as far as Admirals are concerned, you're one such player. Judging by how you've edited this app so far, I believe you need more RP experience before you're ready to play an Admiral OC. So here are the options I'm going to give you:

1. Downgrade your OC to a Captain rank, whereupon the app evaluation process continues but without the excessively high scrutiny that an Admiral would demand.
2. Transfer your app over to FFA.
3. Shelf this app for now, taking time instead to learn how to convincingly RP as a high-ranking naval officer. For starters, you can drop by the Royal Equestrian Guard discussion thread to study other officer apps or ask questions.

[PrinceoftheNight]

Anywho, while I do appreciate your effort in expanding on your OC, I still don't get the sense that this OC could actually be an Admiral instead of someone lower-ranked. Furthermore, the minimalistic edits you've actually inserted that you don't really understand how to make a believable characterization of someone who's been in the Navy long enough to have earned one of the highest ranks. It's nowhere near enough to simply state your OC took some tests and BOOM, she's an Admiral. Here's a list of some of the things I find objectionable:

• Blue Tide has no gravitas attached to her. Based on what's presented in this app, I don't see a character who understands the true realities of command, or demonstrates those special qualities that'd have propelled her to the highest ranks instead of all those other captains gunning for that Admiral promotion. Again, it is not acceptable to claim your OC has the qualities and knowledge to be an Admiral, and then just leave it at that. It also has to show through her Personality.
• Your edits also reveal that you have a disjointed understanding of how a believable military career path looks like. Conducting more thorough research into Navy ranks will help you get a clearer picture of your OC's history.
• With all due respect, your OC comes off as more of a generic high-seas adventurer than a true military officer. Real-life officers would not, for example, divert resources and personnel on an unsanctioned personal quest like finding a long-lost family member. That sort of stunt would have earned Blue Tide a court martial and a one-way trip out of the Navy.

Instead of officer-material, I see a Sailor Sue who happens to be good at all tasks merely because the user says so (which due to how real militaries work, would also never get a chance to happen). While Blue Tide may just be an OC, the high position you've given her means that getting her characterization down pat is that much more important. I hate to say it, but your admiral OC in its current state will not be taken seriously by other naval roleplayers in WoE.

I've been down this road before with other players, who create characters intended to play big roles in the RP world yet come off as edgelords or special snowflakes because the player in question just doesn't have the right level of RP experience yet. My gut tells me that as far as Admirals are concerned, you're one such player. Judging by how you've edited this app so far, I believe you need more RP experience before you're ready to play an Admiral OC. So here are the options I'm going to give you:

• Downgrade your OC to a Captain rank, whereupon the app evaluation process continues but without the excessively high scrutiny that an Admiral would demand.
• Transfer your app over to FFA.
• Shelf this app for now, taking time instead to learn how to convincingly RP as a high-ranking naval officer. For starters, you can drop by the Royal Equestrian Guard discussion thread to study other officer apps or ask questions.

Hmm...

I will downgrade her better, as if I change a lot of her story and stuff, she would stop being the pony I wish she was.

I will try something similar again once I have more expereince.

[PrinceoftheNight]

 

Anywho, while I do appreciate your effort in expanding on your OC, I still don't get the sense that this OC could actually be an Admiral instead of someone lower-ranked. Furthermore, the minimalistic edits you've actually inserted that you don't really understand how to make a believable characterization of someone who's been in the Navy long enough to have earned one of the highest ranks. It's nowhere near enough to simply state your OC took some tests and BOOM, she's an Admiral. Here's a list of some of the things I find objectionable:

• Blue Tide has no gravitas attached to her. Based on what's presented in this app, I don't see a character who understands the true realities of command, or demonstrates those special qualities that'd have propelled her to the highest ranks instead of all those other captains gunning for that Admiral promotion. Again, it is not acceptable to claim your OC has the qualities and knowledge to be an Admiral, and then just leave it at that. It also has to show through her Personality.
• Your edits also reveal that you have a disjointed understanding of how a believable military career path looks like. Conducting more thorough research into Navy ranks will help you get a clearer picture of your OC's history.
• With all due respect, your OC comes off as more of a generic high-seas adventurer than a true military officer. Real-life officers would not, for example, divert resources and personnel on an unsanctioned personal quest like finding a long-lost family member. That sort of stunt would have earned Blue Tide a court martial and a one-way trip out of the Navy.

 

Instead of officer-material, I see a Sailor Sue who happens to be good at all tasks merely because the user says so (which due to how real militaries work, would also never get a chance to happen). While Blue Tide may just be an OC, the high position you've given her means that getting her characterization down pat is that much more important.  I hate to say it, but your admiral OC in its current state will not be taken seriously by other naval roleplayers in WoE.

 

I've been down this road before with other players, who create characters intended to play big roles in the RP world yet come off as edgelords or special snowflakes because the player in question just doesn't have the right level of RP experience yet. My gut tells me that as far as Admirals are concerned, you're one such player. Judging by how you've edited this app so far, I believe you need more RP experience before you're ready to play an Admiral OC. So here are the options I'm going to give you:

1. Downgrade your OC to a Captain rank, whereupon the app evaluation process continues but without the excessively high scrutiny that an Admiral would demand.
2. Transfer your app over to FFA.
3. Shelf this app for now, taking time instead to learn how to convincingly RP as a high-ranking naval officer. For starters, you can drop by the Royal Equestrian Guard discussion thread to study other officer apps or ask questions.

 

 

Okay, downgraded to Captain, so it is ready.

[Bellosh]

There's still one edit I'd like you to make; specify that once your OC became a Captain, she waited to get authorization from her superiors to reopen her missing father's case before setting out to find him. That way, that whole plotline can be a little more sensible. Thankies!

[PrinceoftheNight]

There's still one edit I'd like you to make; specify that once your OC became a Captain, she waited to get authorization from her superiors to reopen her missing father's case before setting out to find him. That way, that whole plotline can be a little more sensible. Thankies!

 

AAaaaannnndddd... Done!

[Bellosh]

Recommending this app for 2nd review!

[RainbowFoxxy]

Have fun sailing!