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Yiska Noctis [Ready]

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Name: Yiska Noctis

 

Sex: Female

 

Age: Mare

 

Species: Areion

 

Eye Color: Blue

 

Character Color: Her coat is a dark grey.

 

Mane/Tail/Other: The mane and tail are both of medium length, and are dark blue in color. She lets them fall as they will, mostly, leaving them to look somewhat messy most of the time. She also tends to wear a cowboy-type hat that is brown.

 

Physique: Her body is a rather lean one, the kind gained from lots of aerobic exercises. She is of average height for a mare her age, though more on the small side of that spectrum. She is also blind.

 

Residence: A cave near Canterlot.

 

Occupation: She is a performer of sorts, mostly acrobatic displays.

 

Cutie Mark: A crescent moon inside a hoop. She got it when she managed to navigate through an obstacle course of sorts when nopony else could. It represents her determination to overcome any obstacle in her path, no matter what her handicaps may be.

 

Unique Traits: She is blind, and as such relies on her other senses to navigate. Especially her hearing.

 

History: Yiska has always been blind, at least for as long as she can remember. As such, she has no idea what her parents actually look like, but everything else about them she remembers just fine. As she grew up, she got better and better at using her working senses to navigate and make her way around. She relied mostly on sound, using her hearing to "see" where objects were so she wouldn't be a burden on others. She wanted to be independent at some point.

Her self-imposed training also included physical workouts, in order to be ready in case anything happened. One day, she was exploring a cave with some of her friends when they fell down an unseen hole. Her friends couldn't see due to how dark it was, and she was the only one that could tell where things were at all. They couldn't fly either, due to how enclosed the hole was. As such, she escaped the hole by jumping between ledges to get out, having to restart multiple times to get the locations of the ledges just right. Every time she fell, she struggled to get back up, determined to get out of the hole. Eventually, she made it out through locating the ledges through sound and her memory of where the ledges were, and she immediately ran to get help from some adults. She returned with help, and they got her friends out of the hole safely. It was at that point that she got her cutie mark.

When she became old enough, she moved out, striking out on her own and exploring Equestria. Eventually, she found a secluded cave where she could rest between journeys, at it quickly became a home of sorts for her. When she traveled, she would stop in towns occasionally and set up a course with the objects around her. When that was done, she would put on a show, navigating the course after showing the crowd that she was indeed blind. Sometimes she would even wear a blindfold to cement the point, if they didn't believe her earlier.

 

Personality: She is a very relaxed mare, in most cases. Despite this, she can be very serious about things when she needs to be. In general, she is nice in her own way, as in she does not try to be mean to others, but it may come out that way due to the fact that she does not seem to have any sort of social filter to her words. She says what she wants to say, with no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Just like how she tends to talk, she lives her life doing what she wants and nothing she doesn't unless she needs the money and has to take what she can get as far as work goes. Luckily, she usually has no intention of stealing or hurting others, but she is not necessarily against it if it came to it.

She hates when ponies try to force others to do things they don't want to do, especially when it's directed towards her or her friends. Speaking of friends, she is rather easy to become friends with, you just have to get on her good side and she'll be your friend. She judges almost exclusively on what others do, though what they sound and sometimes smell like also plays a part in her judgments. She enjoys relaxing and letting the world pass her by at times, and at other times she would rather be exercising or just having fun with her friends.

 

Summary: A brash, adventurous, bind Areion with no social filter. Despite being blind, she can still "see" in a strange way.

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Yes. I'm working on it when I can between work and school. Sorry it's taking so long. 

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Hi! I've reviewed this app for you.

Overall, this character relies too heavily on the aspect of being blind. There really isn't much else to her. As the blind thing is a little on the snowflakey side I'm going to have to ask you to add some more into this character to make her acceptable for WoE play.

The fact that she is blind is fine, she just needs more development. Possibly an occupation or something like that? A way to make more of her than just being blind.

Perhaps have her cutie mark have to do with something other than the blind aspect would help as well.

Let me know when you've made edits.

Edited by RainbowPony

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Please respond here within 5 days if you would like to keep this app opened. After 5 days this thread will be moved.

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Sorry, I've been busy recently. I've been trying to work on it when I can.

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I've made some changes. Hopefully it's better now.

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This still seems a little on the short side. Perhaps add some more information on the character. Likes and dislikes? Unique traits? Some more history perhaps? Add some more detail? Adding in the physical training aspect is good, it just seems like it needs to be woven into the character more.

If you need some more direction, PM me if you'd like to. This is coming along it just still seems to rely too much on the character being blind. That's not the kind of trait that makes a well developed character.

Also, give this another read through as their are some grammatical errors.

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I've added stuff to her history and personality sections, as well as fixing grammar problems where I could find them. Thanks for all the feedback so far, I hope I'm moving in the right direction with her changes.

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Awesome. Thanks for your help and suggestions!

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