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Damnit Jim I'm a Draconequus not a Pony!


RexDraco

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Fishing?  Not an activity that Blueblood would have guessed that Star Crusader would have in her interests, but if she proved to like it, well!  That synergized very nicely with his own hobby of sailing, solidifying the Prince's vision of a future together.  It was slight to his own feelings, but any changeling paying attention would have noticed an uptick in the ambient love, of a kind more solid and meaty that mere rushes of physical or emotional attraction, of which both the guests were radiating plenty!

 

His attention was momentarily taken off his marefriend by Discord's sudden arrival, and the stallion greeted him with a smile.  "Well, you know what they say about too much of a good thing.  Chaos is a little bit like cologne for us; a little dab goes a long way."  Nothing at all suspicious triggered in his mind as the fishernoodle handed off the pole to him, though he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Crusader seemed to have flown off-

 

Absent-mindedly, he took the fishing pole, and immediately felt a strong tug as normal phsyics suddenly took over.  "Whoa- AUGH!"  Not prepared for the force, Blueblood was pulled right off his hooves, overboard into the sea!

 

*Sploosh*

 

The water was surprisingly warm, not giving the normal shock of cool or cold that normally accompanied sudden dunking.  "Disco- *Glub* caough, Star!  What happened!?"

~**~

 

Meanwhile, the queen was growing... just slightly impatient with their their guests arrival time.  The feast was all prepared, the entertainment was warming up, all was ready now... except the whole purpose of this entire enterprise!

The great, dark figure heaved a sigh.  Her visage, while not quite amazonian, still towered over most ponies with a figure to match the proportions, quite the alluring sight if she did say so herself.  Jade mane and eyes offset by a jet coat, with just that curve of a flank and batting of an eye to draw every gaze in the crowd.  Not to mention the inherent regality that came with the "royal" territory....

 

She was hungry, and trying not to show it.  They all were hungry, and others were starting to show it.  But she had to keep a brave face, at least until the first harvest came in.  Oh, for the powers of nature, to bring her guests bodysurfing on a giant wave!  Anything to clear the gnawing emptiness inside...  "Patience, please.  We shall all eat shortly, as soon as they arrive.  We have little else to do, but wait."  And that was the truth.  Only the Queen had the full picture of how dire their situation had been, before Discord had made his offer.  If this didn't work... *I refuse to acknowledge the possibility of Final Defeat.*  

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  • 1 month later...

Crusader neither screamed nor cawed as the great cast from Discord had sent her soaring through the air. Teathered to a strong wire from the fishing pole, she came crashing down into the depths with a very relaxed expression. And when she struck those waves, her body did not yield to it like most others. Oh no, that salty water yield to her! It lept from the surface as if each individual drop was in a hurry to get out of her way before taking it’s place once more while she sunk.

 

Was this fishing, she wondered curiously to herself. Her gaze slowly looked left and right, paying no mind to what would normally burn another pony’s puny eyeballs. She could see fish swimming all around her… but none were paying her any mind. What was it that you needed to go fishing again? Oh Bait… that’s right!

She glanced down to the hook that was tied to her, and spotted a wriggling worm. She plucked it from the crook with both hooves and held it out cautiously to a passing school. Oh how still was she! She was like a statue… held aloft by only the underwater sea current and the fishing wire that teathered her to the boat. A few had their attention enraptured by the morsel. Some grew close… but they quickly turned away. Drats! Not even a nibble.

Needless to say… Crusader felt disappointed, but not disheartened. She was sure the next one will be a conquest! She just needed to learn from her mistakes and try again when her next moment came! And came it did! For she soon found something blocking out the light around her.

The stoic and gigantic mare slowly spun about with a flap over her wings to peek up at…. Large teeth. Teeth the size of many spears. And boy did each one look like they could punch through her armor anytime of the week! Good thing she elected to leave it at home. It’d be hard to explain to the armorer that she lost yet another set.

But… she couldn’t dally on that any longer! She looked down to the worm still wriggling… and now screaming tiny little bubbles for dear life. The mare looked back up to the massive teeth, and pro-offered the little bait to see if she can snag “a big one.”

CHUMP! And she snagged the big one alright. Only, it wasn’t happy with ‘just’ the worm.

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  • 3 weeks later...

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It wasn't a difficult thing to understand. The god of chaos had given the Changelings a chance to live a new life. But why? Now how this served him had yet to be seen. The mecanations born of the chimeric Lord of conundrums was of troubling compromise. Sometimes he wanted to help a pony, but it was his past habits that created feelings of hesitation, of misplaced trust that the sought to undermine. As was his nature. Since they wanted him.to be good he would be the best good pony ever! Bwuahaha! Oh!

 

He pulled a periscope from his tackle box, which appeared on the railing of the boat. Dunking it into the water the blinking eyes of the scope below would spy the vigorous Star Crusader was ponyhandling what looked to be a rather voracious guppy. Blue seemed unable to handle the weight of his companion's considerable gravity. She had fallen and not even the dense sea could hold her aloft. Down she had gone and, with her, Blue!

 

The spirit pocketed the periscope and peered over the edge of the water. The spirit would toss a lifesaver. It hit the water with a kersplash, but as it floated to Blue it seemed to be a giant rubber ducky as opposed to a traditional donut. It came equipped with a life guard's vest and whistle. Riiiight. Discord rode on the duck's back with a net in his paw as he looked to his watch on his left claw. It was in that moment a massive tiger shark, bright orange and with black stripes, would lead from the water, into the sparkle of the setting sun.

 

The shark has large tears dangling from its eyes and several teeth missing or cracked from the force of the mare he had attempted to consume. Discord held out the net to catch the shark, his magic clutching to the weight of the two occupants as they fell. He stumbles forward into the water leaving the two bodies fished from the sea to land on the duckie with a bounce and quack.

 

“Now what to do in a time like this?” he moved to check the tag hanging around the Ducky's life jacket. It read pull during emergencies. “Well I suppose…” with s yank there was a deflating noise with slowly sang from the rubber waterfowl.

 

Fhweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

The ducky seemed to sink beneath the weight of the shark and it's maiden, but doubled in size to fit Blue and its chimeric captain! Discord sat perched on the Ducky's head and pulled the head of a ham radio microphone from his vest, but to s pony it was sure a strange and rare seen device! A fizzle of static danced from the paw held machine.

 

“Next stop, land.” With a click he tucked the object away and the rubber duck made its way back to the main island where many of the boats were coming in or being brought in. It looks like they were just in time for the dinner before the show!

 

Trays of food for various species and seats suited to each one's body endured they had the utmost comfort for the coming performance and that the Changelings, for once, would have plenty to eat… But Discord would keep his word, right? The ponies had turned him so against the tides of evil. He had never been the sort to directly interfere… all worries that could arise come on closer to a goal...

 

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It was never simple.  Blueblood was a fool if he thought anything with Discord was ever going to be.  Of course, it was arguable that he was a fool inherent, long before the mere thought of Discord actually existing as anything other than Auntie's lawn decor ever entered his mind.  Unlike the aforementioned draconeqquus, his was not the kind of foolishness which could confound the wise.  Rather, it was the ordinary, run-of-the-mill foolishness which led the bearer to thrash about in panic at the first sight of a shark when stranded in open ocean.  "AAGGHT-pgl!  Glgbllblblblble...."

 

A bit of a pathetic display, really, considering that the mare actually being eaten by the shark was taking the situation much more calmly, directly applying her training to beating down her foe, as usual.  The tiger shark had been 'hooked,' alright, just as assuredly as if he'd been a poor guppy who'd thought he'd found a tasty treat in the speared worm.  Like the guppy, the shark would find the spear more of a concern than the bait, as Star Crusader broke off the teeth caging her in short order.  Oh, it was a truly impressive battle, though short, one that a suitably-lengthy poem could honor.

 

Too bad her stallionfriend was too busy drowning to really take in the sight....

 

Fortunately, Discord, though chaotic, was far past the time in which he was truly cruel to anything but a pony's sense of dignity, fishing the lot of them up in a net and depositing them upon the back of a giant rubber ducky.  "*Cough... hack... spit....*  GASP!  Ooohhh.... what happened?"  The rest of the world, as was its habit, entirely failed to slow down long enough for the Prince to catch up to events.  There was hardly time, after all; they had an appointment at a feast!

 

The world would never know if the ducky was actually alive enough to swim under it's own power.  What it would know is that Prince Blueblood and Star Crusader would arrive in time for dinner to begin, much to the delight of the 'Island Queen.'  "Welcome, welcome!"  The tall mare's eyes were shining with delight as she stood to greet her guests.  That gleam of hunger in her eyes could be easily explained by the shortness of the hour and the great spread in front of her.  And indeed it was, though the 'feast' for her and her kind was of a rather different sort...

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  • 4 weeks later...

Oh and what a battle of the ages it was! Two verocious creatures duking it out for the rights to claim not only their lives, but the lives of Blueblood as well! Only one of them seemed far more reluctant after engaging with the pony. The Pegasus on the other hoof, was none the wise of the creature’s sudden surrender. For she had managed to give the large ‘guppy’ the a horror show for its dentist, and even rammed both of her hind legs through its gills from inside its mouth. Now with her hind legs wrapped tightly around it’s skull and her torso poking out of its mouth, she continued to drill each fist into it’s snout.

Fortunately for the large predator, lifes final act came and pass with swiftness. It’s spirit lefts it’s body and gently floated upwards to witness Crusader pounding away at it’s body. What was once peace, however, quickly turned to panic for the spirit. Oh yes… the mare took notice of the strange specter and quickly grabbed hold of it in an iron grip with both hooves. With a tug and shove, jammed the spirit back into the body and went back to work.

She continued to pound the living daylights out of the shark until it went still. Unconcious or dead again, time would tell. But there were more pressing matters. She glanced up to spot a familiar pony floating just above herself, and struggling to stay such!

Not wanting to give up her catch, she shimmied down the throat of the beast and jammed her hind legs through it’s belly, poking holes into it’s body, and her fore legs out of the gills. With a bit of wiggling she managed to push her wings through its body till she was wearing the massive fish like some sort of mascot costume.

With a powerful flap of her wings, she created a strong current of water to help her ascend towards the surface and under the Prince. Though when she broke through the surface with her prize, she looked about with confusion. She swore the Prince was just above her. Her head dunked back into the water to look for the prince with a hint of panic. That was… till she was lifted out of the water and onto the back of the duck.

“I…” she began pensively as she took in the sight. Her eyes glancing over the large rubber ducky in wander. “Thank you Discord. My Prince, you know it is dangerous to be in the ocean without a life jacket!”

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  • 3 weeks later...

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Discord always did seem to have all his ducks in a row. He was quite good at shifting the pace of a situation to suit his needs and desires. However much he may be redeemed: he was still a being of pure chaos. It had to channel somewhere to alleviate the boredom that came with a scheduled lifestyle. Wake, work, eat, bed. Ponies could be unnervingly repetitive. A little chaos kept them from becoming stale, boring and made sure they didn't simply fade away the moment he blinked. It was sometimes the sad case for a creature whose longevity exceeded even that of the universe while, in the same note: he was much younger than it.

A paradox wrapped in an enigma inside a riddle.

 

Discord was the captain of the boat and everypony was his passenger, or so he liked to play upon. He really had no desire to Lord over the ponies. That had been a passing game, as with all of his desires. But thinking upon it in such a way made him sound no better than the Changelings. Discord quickly became hyper aware of what surrounded him. There he had played pied Piper and given them a world full of their dreams. Ponies, Kirin, Griffon, and all in between had gathered for peace and relaxation and unknowingly fed the parasitic race of insects.

 

The ones that Thorax coddled were uninterestingly plain, but they are mere newborns by compare. They have hardly breathed life into the universe yet come to understand it. Ponies were at the crux of space exploration and continued to expand to placed the spirit, frankly, had not seen them. All while he was absorbed in his thoughts the duck was parked and the defeated shark carried away on a gurney. The couple, Blueblood and Crusader, had been led to their table. Aria was put to sing and break down the last barriers of happiness to make sure every creature that stepped hoof, claw, or paw on that island came out happy and every Changeling aiding their Queen would feed… feed and never starve again.

 

They were antagonists to the truest of sense. The stole happiness that was not their own. They fed off love that they knew not how to abide beyond the vampiric instinct shared by parasitic hydraflowers. Aria began her song and Discord moved to float near and by, eyeing the Queen. The Prince of Chaos was no slack. He was well aware of the games she was playing. But should he feel bad about it? No pony was hurt and he got what he wanted. The dilapidated ruins she had built her nest in.

 

The food was carted out as the small pony sang. Her voice carried in ways that chilled. It wasn't until that beat dropped that it became clear Aria was no slack herself. Queenie wasn't pulling punches. Even the food has been specifically tailored to each groups’ tastes. The freshest fruits, greens, grains and on. The banquet hall was roomy enough to keep couples together and friends in their groups. Seating even allowed a measure of privacy behind screens that focused their view to the stage as opposed to their neighbors.

 

 

Well played indeed, but Discord had a few more ways to disrupt that sanctity of peace that she tried so hard to preserve. The spirit appeared on a stool between the couple with a cob of corn and a top hat. “I'll have to admit this island queen knows how to treat her guests.” He mused.

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"Dangerous, hah..."  Truth be told, life was moving way too fast for Prince Blueblood to actually think about how any particular part of it was dangerous.  Which was probably a good thing; as otherwise he'd be paralyzed with fear.  If he'd known he'd share an ocean with a tiger shark, would he have even dared to board the boat?  Well, with Star Crusader by his side, perhaps.  "You know, most couples take vacations to relax.  Do you remember, relaxing?"  Next time, he'd just find the nearest flowery meadow and plop the two of them in the middle of it, regardless of what offers Discord gave.

 

By the time they actually arrived at the feast, however, the stallion had the shakes mostly walked off, leaving only an appetite with an edge, soon to be slaked by the pile of tropically decadent treats!  The secluded alcove seemed perfect for the two of them, built so as to accommodate even Crusader's full wingspan.  The live music was starting, making the room feel at ease.  The sensation tickled the back of Blue's mind, dancing around but never alighting upon corresponding memories, as he rested his head against his guard's side, chewing a particularly sweet chunk of pineapple.

 

The sudden noodly apparition of a dapper Discord nearly sent his plate flying, and the Prince coughed once or twice, trying to swallow rather than inhale his bite.  "Warn us, next time, please!"

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