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Teacups to Tenochtitlan (ATTN: tacobob)


Pretzelparty

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Pocket Change could not help but sigh after hearing all the 'Ugg-a-Wug’s. These were not proper natives, but as their new friend had elegantly remarked, but a bunch of 'dumb old jerks'. What was next? Bongo Bongo Bongo? Or maybe even Bingo, bangle, bungle? He doubted any of these scavengers had attended one archeology class. Instead they probably read a few 'Punch Punchly: The Explorer Who Punches!' novels. Those made 'Daring Do' books look like the 'Old Stallion And The Sea'.
 
"Good idea. Let's get into these bushes.." Both Pocket and Wind Whistler quickly made their way into their proper hiding spot. "And no stabbing anypony..", he whispered to the mare. "Your dog buddy gets a freaking sword. What do you think he's going to do with that?"
 
"He's not going to slice any....oh.."
 
Further shots could be heard.
 
"Bongo Bongo Bongo!" and "Bingo, bangle, bungle!", could be heard.
 
"Oh, for fraks sake.", the stallion groaned. The sword was too good for them!
 
Spoiler


OOC: Pocket Change will use his magic and Wind will just be angry and pummel any scavenger that tries to get away once your pup has drawn their attention. The mare will  probably just help scare them into Pocket's rope. So please put these in your post if you want

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

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Even Hogo-sha had to cringe at that stereotypical parody of a language these frauds were trying to pass off as legitimate.  He came to these jungles in the hopes of some true adventures... if these ponies wanted to play pretend then this 'dog' would. Unfortunately for these fellows, Hogo-sha could play very rough! Hogo's sword was in actuality, not a metal blade. It was a just an enchanted wooden sword made by a friend of his family. Through magic, he could transmute it into something similar but didn't normally like to. in this case he had to agree with the sentiment that these ponies weren't worth using any metal on.

 

Not wanting to spill any blood but also wanting to put some fear in these tasteless ponies, he decided maybe some intimidation might be in order. 

 

Normally, Hogo-sha didn't enjoy using illusions. He prefered just using his physical strength and he lightning spells. Though against a crowd, perhaps some auditory illusion could be beneficial. As the 'tribe' came within both earshot and visual range, Hogo-sha took in a deep breath while electricity crackled and jumped across his coat. He let out a furious sounding howl that seemed to echo through the forest ... at least to the oncoming ponies. The wolf stared straight ahead, focusing his illusory works on the crowd before him and sparing both Pocket and Wind Whistle. If pocket took a moment to analyze he'd see it was some spell that seemed to cause Hogo-sha to appear larger to the crowd, like he was a wolf the size of three carriages!

The wolf approached slowly, speaking in a calm... but serious sounding voice. "You... Have Forgotten your tributes, Tribesponies... I am an Envoy of the God of the storms. I am here to collect and reek great vengeance for this grave mistake. Prepare to be JUDGED!"

 

He hoped that they might fall for this ploy, not that he was too worried if they saw through it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
 
The ‘angry natives’ looked exactly what Pocket Change believed they would look like. Drunk young adult ponies in very bad Nightmare Moon costumes. Some wore tiki masks. Which sadly were the best costumes, but they were in the wrong lands. The Gallopocus Islands were one would find such an angry set of natives. A few others were dressed in pirate costumes, and one even wore an hockey mask, which was popular in the ‘Fri-Neigh The 13th’ series of movies. These were terrible looking ‘natives’ and their acting was beyond  atrocious as many shouted out, "Oingo boingo! Oingo boingo! Flee trespassers!”
 
One rather inebriated pony in a pirate costumed shouted. "Arr! Better leave now ponies or we'll send ye t' th' deep!", before he realized his error, "I mean....Gunter Glieben Glauten Globen!"
 
This farce quickly ended the moment their very red eyes caught sight of Hogo-sha. "Holy crap!", a pony who wore an brightly colored luchador mask shouted out, "There's a freaking giant dog here and he looks hungry! Everyone! Let's get out of here! He can have the treasure!", they were gone in seconds, leaving a few of their masks and even a couple of wallets behind.
 
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"I can't believe it!", the mare popped out the bush. "That was him...The guy who shouted 'Holy Crap'", she mimicked his accent. "That was my former.....former colt-friend, current jerk...His friends pretended to be 'angry natives' to scare me away.", she growled, "Once I was gone, my former and his drunken pals could have shared this 'treasure', which I wonder what it is..." she glanced up towards the temple.
 
Pocket Change took that as his cue to leave his hiding spot. "Guess there's only one way to find out.", he shook off some extra leaves before turning to his companion, "Good job Hogo-sha...You made short work of those terrible.....Ugh..", he grunted, "They were all just terrible."  What treasures would they find? Gold? Silver? Magical artifacts?
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  • 1 month later...

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Hogo-sha heaved a sigh as the fake tribe ran off. He already felt his enthusiasm draining as the wallets and masks fell to the ground, "Ugh... Did that one in the pirate outfit really just try and pass the Germaney dialect as an aboriginal pony language?" 

 

Letting the illusion fade, Hogo-sha looked over to Wind Whistler and Pocket Change. "... Well, Ms. Whistler. I'm sorry that you ended up in this situation. Where did you say you met him again?" Asked the wolf as he shifted himself down into a smaller shape, trying to keep in mind Pocket's remarks about his tail.  Now the wolf's tail was more curled up and shorter, almost like one of those neighponese Shiba inu dogs.  "Thank you, Pocket. I was a little worried they might be drunk enough to have kept up their charge anyway." He tapped his 'sword' on a nearby rock, "This is only made of wood after all."

Leaning in towards pocket, Hogo-sha asked the stallion a hushed question. "Pocket Change, would it bother you if we shared credit for whatever we find with Miss Whistler? She seems as though she's been through enough to get some prestige."

 

 

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“I’m pretty sure that ‘Gunter Glieben’ bit was from that one Abyssinia rock band.", the mare tried to move her wing, but only received an rather nasty bolt of pain..."Deaf Leopard...Ow..... gonna start a fire...come on...rise up gather round...rock this place to the ground.", she sang-groaned.
 
Seeing that the pain wasn't going to go away anytime soon, Pocket Change broke out his first aid kit and grabbed a few bandages along with a small red bottle with Princess Celestia's sun on it.
 
"I'm an student over at the University Of Fillydelphia..", she started to point to her sweater, but it was in such bad shape, she realized the logo was now unreadable. "I'm a business major...All on a TEMPEST scholarship. As long as I keep my.....", she paused as the helpful unicorn went about patching up her wing..."Chee....Grades up...I'll end up with a job at one of Fillydelphia's largest companies...", she squirmed, "My dumb ex was just a dumb jock who also attended the same school.....He's a good drinking buddy and Culbatizing pro...heh.....ouch!", she turned and glared at the unicorn before turning her attention back to the big dog.
 
 
"I don't have any issue with that...", Pocket Change finished up bandaging the Pegasus pony's wing. "Also, don't use this...Like for at least a day...And Mister Hogo-sha....Please tell her what we're looking for."
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