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"and now to hole eight, which is in fact the eighth hole" Peter Alliss

"it isn't pollution that's harming the environment. it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." Dan Quayle

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"And how are you doing?  Because I'm a POTATO!" -GlaDOS Portal 2

"Adrift upon the sea of time the lonely God wanders from shore to distant shore upholding the laws of the stars above" -Christopher Paolini, Brisingr

"Geronimo!" -The Doctor (11th)

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“I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.” -Rockstar from Mars and Secret Vatican Warlock Assassin, Charlie Sheen

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"Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb."-Dark Helmet, Space Balls

"Insanity doesn't run in my family. It practically gallops." -Arsenic and Old Lace-1944

"The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe... women!" -Doc Brown, Back to the Future part II

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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Cave Johnson (Portal 2)

There are quite a lot of good Cave Johnson quotes that could go into here but I'm kinda lazy.

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That's not a panel; that's a crusher. We sell those too.

Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.

Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news: bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.

This first test involves something the lab-boys call repulsion gel. You're not part of the control group by the way - you get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint, ha ha ha! All joking aside, that did happen. Broke every bone in his legs - tragic. But informative! Or so I'm told.

The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group, they're telling me I ought to stop making these pre-recorded messages - that gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day!

The average human male is about 60% water. Far as we're concerned that's a little extravagant. So if you feel a bit dehydrated in this next test, that's normal. We're gonna hit you with some jet engines and see if we can't get you down to 20 or 30 per cent.

You meant these, right? (All above are from Cave Johnson.)

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