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(Canterlot) Mending Hearts (Ended)


Lux

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(OOC Caution: the following will be role playing intensive as my character, Heart Healer, has the ability to "read" emotions and has a greater sensitivity to them. She cannot change a pony's emotions like Princess Cadance can, but she can delve into them to understand the pony she's trying to help. By participating in this thread, you as the user of a character are agreeing to allow Heart Healer to use this ability if needed in the RP, and of course if you would like her to do it. Of course, you need to tell me what your pony's feeling! Also, please keep it one at a time. Once Heart finishes with one pony, she'll go onto the next. And now that the rules have been established, enjoy!)

Heart Healer looked out the window of her office at the streets of Canterlot. It was the start of another day for her emotional counseling clinic, Mending Hearts. This clinic was designer to providing counseling to all ponies who needed it including matters relating to love, grief, fear, and loss. She had seen it all, and with her empath ability she had also felt it all. There were times when another pony's emotions were so great she had to physically leave the room or she would be probably in some insane asylum. Yet there were those moments of feeling deep love and happiness that kept her going.

She walked from the office into the counseling room to make sure everything was ok. In the middle was an overstuffed chair that she would sit in, a fainting couch for the pony being counseled (she hated calling them a "patient" like they were somehow sick), and a table bwtween which held among other things a box of tissues. There were certain pictures that she hung on the wall that she hoped to make a pony feel comfortable like a tree in the middle of a field and Canterlot with day and night out at the same time before one surrendered to the other.

She sat in the chair and looked at her list of ponies that she would be seeing, waiting for the first to arrive.

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Radiant Steel looked down at the address she had scribbled down. This was the place. She sighed. Why was she here again? Why had she agreed to going through with this? She was an REA soldier, a guardsmare with a bright future ahead of her. She didn't need emotional counseling. At least she didn't think she did.

She had been reprimanded by her superiors in the guard a number of times now for being overly aggressive on the night watch. Not a pleasant thing on its own, but made even worse when one of those superiors is her own father. Every mistake she made followed her home, which just lead to more anger and agitation which inevitably lead to more problems on the job. Eventually, her mother had become concerned for her, and after a long, awkward and painful talk, Radiant had agreed to find some help in getting her emotions under control.

And so here she was: Mending Hearts Clinic, an emotional counseling clinic located locally in Canterlot. As she approached the building, she was gripped with an anxiety. She had never done anything like this and quite frankly it scared her. It made her pine for the protective golden armor she wore while on duty. She wasn't even inside yet and the red-maned pegasus already felt vulnerable. Collecting her wits and giving a small gulp, Radiant finally worked up the courage to open the door and trot into the clinic.

She had been alloted the first appointment of the day. After signing in, after a short wait, she was shown to the counseling room. She entered the room slowly, becoming increasingly nervous. She had no clue how this was going to go.

"Um... hello! I-I... I have an appointment here today," the pegasus stammered as she entered the room, her eyes finding a pink unicorn mare with a red and yellow mane.

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(OOC: Ok. Since we have the first pony to counsel, anypony else who wants to jump in can hang out in the waiting room where you can RP with each other.)

Heart Healer looked at her list of ponies to see who would be first. The pony's name was Radiant Steel. Just as she read the name she saw a pegasus poke her head into the room. She was anxious, but that was almost expected when meeting with her, especially the first time. Her profession was not very regarded due to the many myths about it. Many ponies still thought that to go to a counselor like Heart Healer meant that something wrong was with the pony. With each pony she met, Heart healer hoped to quell that myth.

"Hello," Heart Healer said with a friendly tone as she stood up from her chair to greet the pegasus. "I am Heart Healer. Pleased to meet you Ms. Steel. Please have a seat on the couch there and make yourself comfortable." She then motioned to the couch that sat across from the overstuffed chair. Once she saw that the pegasus was seated she continued. "Now, how can I help you today, Ms. Steel?"

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Radiant nodded to the mare and walked in, still feeling rather nervous and insecure. She sat on the couch and gulped, unsure what to say. How did she even approach this? It was difficult for her. This pony seemed nice. She helped out dysfunctional, emotional wrecks for a living. It took a special pony for something like that. All the same, Radiant found her in those initial moments so very unapproachable. She was silent for a noticeable moment until, awkwardly, she opened her mouth.

"Er... well... I-I..." Radiant began to speak. "I-I don't really know. I don't think I... I mean... I d-don't have a problem. My mother forced me to make this appointment."

The pegasus dropped off for a moment, before continuing, her voice becoming quieter. "She's just overly concerned about me because I keep getting in trouble at my job, but really it's just my father bending the whole thing out of proportion with her..." She gave a sigh.

"So I'm a little over-aggressive with ponies some times? Is that so wrong? It's my job to protect the city! How can I do that effectively without exerting myself?" she finished, her voice raising a little.

She gave a small gasp as she realized how she was asking. Was this how she was going to begin this, by acting like the biggest head-case she possibly could? She looked awkwardly away as she tried to save face as best she could

"I mean... umm... sorry. I-I don't know what came over me," she started, her face flush red from embarrassment. "What I mean is... It is a pleasure to meet you Dr. Heart Healer. I look forward to seeing how you might be able to help me," she said, eventually finding the proper and together voice, she used when addressing superiors.

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Heart Healer listened to the pony speak intently. Although to the untrained ear it sounded like rambling, Heart was able to gather several important pieces information. Radiant wasn't here for herself but because her parent made her go. She had a job to protect the city which meant that she was probably in the military. The last part was the one that was the most useful. Radiant was accused of being overaggressive although she didn't see herself as such.

"Please, Ms. Steel," the pink unicorn said as she shifted in the chair, "call me Heart Healer. Now I can help you, but before that let's talk a little more about you, because if I get to know you more, I can help you better. Now before I do so, I want to tell you a little about, spesifically about my magic. I am what is called an empath, which basically means I can read other ponies' emotions. I feel what they feel. Now with your permission, I'd like to read you emotions. I can assure you that you will feel no different from how you are now. Would I be able to do this as we talk?"

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Radiant's eyebrow raised in surprise as the unicorn described her ability. Unicorns could do that? How incredible. Magic never ceased to impress her.

"Reading the emotions of others? I wasn't aware that that was possible... Or well, I've heard of Her Highness, Princess Cadance's ways with emotion, but..." she gave a ready nod. "Unicorn magic has always been fascinating to me. As a foal, I kind of really wanted to be a unicorn. I mean, I like flying... but sometimes it feels small, especially when I've just kind of stayed in the same place all my life..."

Radiant gave a low sigh and shook her head. "I'm rambling again.... Sorry," she said in a low voice. "But yes, I don't mind if you use your magic. It's fine."

She nodded before deciding to start speaking again. "I'm not really sure where to start. What sort of things would you want to know about me?" Radiant spoke, thinking for a moment. "I'm a private, a guardsmare, in the REA Garrison Forces, or the Royal Guard as we're more commonly known. I'm Canterlot born and raised... and well... I'm not sure there's really a lot to say..." she started strong but tapered off, finding herself at something of a loss.

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Heart Healer smiled when Radiant said how she liked her empath ability. No doubt it was unique. But secretly for Heart Healer it was both a blessing and at times a curse. At least she was able to adjust her ability nowadays. She could still other ponies' emotions while walking down the street, but not as powerful when she activates her full ability.

With Radiant's permission, she activated her ability, tapping into the emotional side of the pegasus while at the same time working on the mental side by asking her questions. The pony did start off ok by mentioning her profession but then she stopped. This could indicate that her other factors of her life like friends and family and other activities could be lacking. Still Heart Healer could feel that same aggressiveness mixed with a little nervousness still from before.

"Ok then. You mentioned your job as a member of the REA. How did you choose that profession? Did somepony inspire or encourage you?"

From her psychological training Heart knew to go with what she knew, hopinh this would open up more information and illicit more of an emotional response.

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Radiant looked down. She gave a sigh.

"Um... well, my family actually goes back several generations with the REA. I guess a lot of it's because of my father though. He's a guard too." she said in a low voice. "I don't really associated inspiration or encouragement with my father though. He's cold, resolute and unapproachable. As a filly growing up, I kind of resented him. I never wanted to emulate him, not consciously at least."

"Back then, I wanted to be like my mother. She's a school teacher. She's kind and gentle and good at baking and tending to foals and animals," she said in a low voice. "I always tried to be like her, but I just couldn't be. I wasn't good at the things she was. I messed up everything, and was just left feeling angry and dejected."

"Then I got my cutie mark, kinda when I realized the depth of pride I had in what my father and my family did. And well, you can see it," she said indicating the shield on her flank. "I think that pretty much sealed it for me. At the very least, I stopped complaining then and just worked toward becoming the best guardsmare I could."

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As Radiant spoke of her father, Heart Healer could feel the coldness between the two. It was like a wall was there between her and the father preventing anything from going through. She appeared more attached to her mom, something that Heart had seen before where a pony would drift towards one parent more than the other. Then Radiant noted the fact that she tried to be close to her mother. She felt the warm love toewrds that parent which contrasted towards her father. The guards pony was so eager to please her that the fact that she couldn't and that in the end her talent was closer to her father's talent was eating away at her.

"So let's then talk about the time first when you were trying to be like your mother. What things spesifically did you try to do with her? Were you trying to impress her, or were you trying out what she liked to do in the hopes of finding your cutie mark relating to those skills?"

Heart Healer when counseling felt like she was navigating a maze with her ability like a guide. Each thing a pony said was like opening up a series of new paths. It was her job to find the correct path and follow it. Hopefully starting on the path relating to Radiant's mother was a good choice.

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Radiant was surprised how easy it was to speak so far. She wasn't usually good with words, but it was coming out easily. Maybe she did need counseling after all? Maybe she too long had kept how she felt inside? She nodded quietly and sighed once more before continuing.

"Well, I don't think it was about impressing her as much as trying to simulate her," Radiant started patiently. "I definitely was always trying to find my cutie mark, like any foal might. I was at first most interested in baking; I've always had a taste for sweets, and I figured my passion for them would lead to success in making them."

"I tried multiple times to bake cakes... cookies... anything I could..." the guardspony hung her head and sighed. "I went effectively backwards in terms of results. Things just went from bad to worse as I grew more and more frustrated and impatient with my continued massive failures."

She gave an agitated huff and shook her head. "My older brother's teasing certainly didn't make things easier, especially since he was right." She gave a sigh. "He's always right. I hate it so much..."

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Question Mark stood outside the Mending Hearts Clinic, staring at the door in a mixture of intense curiosity, and slight discomfort. He twisted his head slightly and opened one of his saddlebags, pulling out a piece of paper with the address he had been given for this place. He placed it on the ground and examined it again for anything he might have missed. Of course there wasn't, he had read it enough times to recite it from memory.

"Mending Hearts Clinic, Heart Healer, emotional counseling." He said to himself, glancing back up at the door. He gently placed the paper back in his bag, and took the several steps necessary to approch the door. "I can't believe I'm doing this..." He mumbled, as he slowly opened the door.

His eyes immediately darted around the room, taking in as much information as he could in the shortest amount of time, and he gently closed the door behind him. His eyes flickered to rest on the sign that declared. 'Sign in here.' He noticed, and as he approched, someone behind the counter. He nodded, but didn't bother acknowledging them further. He signed his name and noticed the name above him. "Radiant Steel..." He muttered under his breath, glancing at the door with the sign 'Counseling room,' and noted that it was closed. He heard a preppy voice call out. "Heart Healer is currently with another-" "I know." He cut off the other pony quickly, not thinking in the slightest about his actions.

Question Mark turned his back on them and walked over to the waiting area, taking a seat, and pulled a book out of his saddlebags. 'Unicorns and Magic: A History,' he slowly turned the page, running a hoof through his green, short cut mane. "Hm... Unicorns must have it so easy..." He mused. "Emotional counseling, huh? I guess we'll see about this." His eyes flickered up awkwardly to the door. "...It could be interesting... a learning experience." He nodded to himself, then quietly went back to his book.

(OCC: First post, Sorry if I broke any rules...)

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(OOC: Welcome Walker! Don't worry. No rules have been broken. You're next on the list for Heart Healer.)

Heart nodded in understanding when Radiant mentioned about her attempts at baking. It was common for fillies and colts to try multiple things to get their cutie marks. The fact that her mother was a good baker was a perfect reason to try baking herself, the "like mother, like daughter," addage. Perhaps the fact that she got her mark in something related to her father was the reason of some of this aggressiveness. Before she went in that direction, Heart decided to try something that Radiant recently mentioned.

"I understand about you trying to find your mark and how you tried baking since your mother was a baker. Fillies and colts do try many things to find their cutie marks. You mentioned you father and mother, but let's talk about your brother, especially why you think he's always right."

The brother, like her father could be a trigger to Radiant's emotions. It was clear through the hate she was feeling now due to her empath magic that there was something there with the brother that she was not happy about.

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Radiant nodded and then rolled her eyes slightly.

"He's a jerk!" she snapped coldly. "My older brother that is, I have two. My little brother... he's okay, if a little too aware sometimes..."

She sighed and looked down. "But Dagger... he's... so smug and caught up in himself, but at the same time, he's so smart. He's a member of the Honor Guard, the REA's elite special forces unit, where he works in intel, putting his endless skill at deceit to use," she growled slightly. "He's only a few years older than me and he's already a lieutenant too, something he'll brag about at every turn if you let him."

She looked down. "He never shows father any respect. They argue constantly; always have. And of course, he teases me and treats me like I'm still a foal. And as I said, it's always stuff I can't argue with. 'I have the tastes and sometimes the attitude of a filly half my age', 'my social life and love life are somewhere between hopeless and nonexistant', 'I've never gone anywhere or done anything that matters'. He's so blunt with it all, it's just grating."

She sighed and shook her head. "Despite it all, I can't say I really hate him personally. He's my brother, you know? He still means a lot to me... and sometimes I wish things were better between him an the rest of us..."

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Heart could feel the emotional tension with Radiant's relationship with her brother. Now another piece of the puzzle fell into place. Her brother was in the military, just like her father, and was higher up than Radiant in rank. Heart could see that having not one but two family members in the military could be the source of this agressive tension.

"So both your older brother and father are in the military just like you. It must be difficult trying to prove yourself to them in respect to being in the military. Have you tried talking with your brother about your feelings towards him, about how you feel he teases you and you don't like it? Also, what was you family's reaction when you got your cutie mark and decided to join the REA?"

Heart Healer believed that she had found the right path in the psychological maze to help Radiant Steel. If she was right, it would lead to success. If she was wrong, then it would be back to the beginning of the maze.

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Radiant gave a short now. "Right, but as I said, he works with the Honor Guard doing their shady, dishonest work; Father and I stand proudly as guardians, protecting Princess and country with our lives. I'd hardly say it was the same thing," Radiant spat, looking downward, the pride in her words intense.

"It certainly is hard to prove myself. After my brother, you'd think Father would be happy to see me follow in his shadow so closely, but I never get any recognition from him," the pegasus said, sighing.

She gave a self pitying laugh before continuing, "As for talking to my brother, my tongue isn't so dexterous to do that. A lot of what he does is the same as you after all, save a lot less honest: It's all about getting into a pony's head, catching them unaware, extracting what they know. Simply put, he talks circles around me... and he reads me like a book. Talking to him is as useless and as frustrating as trying to talk to my father, but for entirely different reasons. With father it's more akin to talking to a brick wall."

She looked up as she considered the final question asked by the mare. She nodded. "Mother smiled, but I don't think she was very happy with it. After that day, it kind of felt like some intangible barrier had appeared between us, like we just weren't as close anymore. Father on the other hand... when he faced me after learning about it all, about what I had done... it's the only time in my life I can remember him ever smiling in my direction, as brief and small as it were. I don't remember much of a reaction from either of my brothers, but it was shortly after that things really began to get combative between Dagger and my father."

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Radiant's issues were becomming more complex. Her father seemed pleased that she joined but otherwise had no other reaction. Her mother didn't appear happy of her choice, probably seeing the father and the brother in the military. The brother was the worst, in radiant's opinion, to talk to as he would domineer the conversations. Then Heart got an idea.

"Let's go back to where you said when we first met how you came here because you felt like you were acting too aggressive in your job. Now, I'm not in the military, but I understand that it is a very demanding job that can take a physical, mental, and emotional toll on you. I also see that with your family situation that there is mot much communication. With these two parts I have two questions. First, do you think your aggressiveness is due to a means to try and prove yourself to your brother and father, or do you think it is due to the stresses of both job and family life? Now the next question I want you to really think about before saying it because it is something that should be considered carefully. Do you think your family loves you?"

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Radiant looked down and sighed. "It can be a demanding job. For somepony of my father's rank, I'm sure it's quite stressful... but for me, I'm not sure I'd describe it as such. Most of the time I'm stationed guarding a low-risk wing of the castle at an hour of night where practically everypony in Canterlot is fast as sleep. The stress of the job is more from how completely uneventful it is."

The mare looked down and shook her head. "I want to prove myself to them all. I want to advance. I want to make everypony proud, but doing what I am now, it just seems impossible. It's like I'm standing still when I should be soaring through the clouds. I think that's why I'm so aggressive, why I jump at the first sign of trouble and go after ponies who don't deserve it, just because they pass a little close to my post. I just want to do something that matters..."

Radiant went quiet for a few moments before even approaching the last question. She choked out something unintelligible and then sighed. She then nodded. "I don't know the answer to the latter question. I wish I did. I hope they do... I want them to... because I know that I-I... I love them all a whole lot."

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Heart Healer now learned something important. Radiant was not acting aggressive due to the intensity of the job but of how boring it was. She was also, like most military ponies, trying to go up in the rank while trying to please her parents.

Heart tried to hold back the tears from the emotions she felt when Radiant mentioned how she didn't know if her parents and brothers loved her, even though she loved them.

"I think I know how to help you know," Heart Healer finally said, "You are in the military and expecting to be in a position where your aggressiveness can be used, say in a dangerous situation. Yet you are now in as you said a low risk position. You are at the same time trying to prove that you can got up in rank while trying to please your father as well as the rest of your family."

She paused to carefully formulate her words before speaking again.

"The first thing I would say is to think about carreers like a flight of stairs. Right now, you are just starting out, so the job may not be the one that you want right now. Now in time and in proving yourself, you will go up the steps to a higher position, something that will be closer to your ideal job. Now while you should be the best you can be in the position you are in, being very aggressive is not a good fit in where you are now. Now I'm sure in more dangerous positions aggressiveness will be needed, so I'd save that for that time. Right now you are as you said not in a position that requires much aggressiveness. What you need to to is strike a balance between acting bored and acting aggressive. The easiest way is to act like you like the position you're in, while setting your sight on a higher position. Also keep in mind that being in the military is much interacting with civilians such as myself as it is with other soldiers. If you establish this balance, you have a better chance to rise in rank and acheive the job you want."

"I think this aggressiveness is also due to your desire to prove to your parents. The first pony you need to prove is to yourself. If you think that you can be a good soldier, then all others will see you as such. You are who you think you are as I was told by my parents. This aggressiveness is not only threatening your job, but since your father is tied to the military as well, it's putting a strain on your relationship with him. So be easing up on the aggressiveness and focusing on being the best in your position you can keep your family relationship and possibly advance."

"Love is a tricky situation as ponies have different ways of showing it. Some are not as expressive about it. I like to think that any kind word or action is a sign on love. So if you wonder about your relationship, look for those signs like a smile or a nod as a sign of love."

She paused before continuing.

"I know that was a lot of information I gave you. Did everything I said makes sense? Do you have any questions about it?"

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Radiant listened closely to what Heart Healer said. She gave a nod. Some of it seemed like things she already knew. She looked downward.

"I get what you say... the hard part is actually putting it into practice," she said in a low voice. "I know myself. I act on impulse. It's hard to contain myself, especially when I can't help but worry. What if I hold myself back and end up missing something critical? That kind of scares me..."

She went quiet as she considered the latter comment. "But thank you... I-I... I think you're right... My father's smile when I got my cutie mark... that goofy amused smirk my brother wears whenever we talk... I... think there's something there... even if they never do say it out loud..."

Radiant choked and closed her eyes forcefully to stop herself from tearing up. She then shook her head and nodded. "I'm not sure I have any other questions about that exactly," she said. "Thanks."

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"I know it's hard to make a change, especially doing something for some time. There is no magic way to do tht other than time and effort. But if you find ways to control your aggressiveness then you can not only help with your job but also your family. Another thing to consider is outlets for your aggressiveness. I find taking a walk is a great way for me to vent off any frustration in my life. Perhaps you can find something like that."

Heart Healer noticed that Radiant was crying a little. It was only natural with these sessions to have a pony cry as emotions were being brought up.

"Would you care for a hug?"

Although this act was often frowned upon bu her profession, Heart Healer knew how powerful a hug was. And her empath ability allowed her to show more emotional things like hugging.

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"Perhaps you're right," Radiant said giving a sigh. "If I tell myself I can't do it, then I can't. I need to put effort into this... into training myself to behave properly through it all. If I can do that then... maybe... maybe I can make this work somehow."

She gave a nod, feeling more than a little vulnerable in that moment. When the pony offered a hug to her, she was completely taken aback. She blushed profusely. Hugs were rare for her. Her mother hadn't hugged her since she was still a foal, and there hadn't been much in that way since. She almost wanted to refuse, as it seemed just a little too awkward for her, but in her vulnerable state, she kind of wanted the comfort, even if she was a little scared. Tentatively, she looked up at Heart Healer and gave a faint nod.

"Umm... okay," she said in a quiet voice.

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Heart healer gave Radiant a little reasuring hug before returning to her chair. The pony looked like she wasn't hugged often, so being hugged by Heart might have proved to be a little awkward. But The unicorn took precautions to avoid any issues.

"Ok. So in review I mentioned to adjust your level of aggressiveness to fit the job level, aim for other ranks by doing the best in this one, and watching for signs of love from your parents and brother, even the very subtle. Is there anything else that you would like to talk to me about today or any questions you may have about what we already talked about?"

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Radiant paused and considered the unicorn's question. Was there anything else she wanted to talk about? Well, yes. Yes, there was. Work and family were only two threads, albeit perhaps the longest and most tangled, in the neurotic ball of confusion Radiant Steel called a life. She could maybe bring up her relative inability to fit in in groups or make friends easily. Maybe she could discuss her painfully unfulfilling love life. Perhaps she could go into detail on her disenfranchisement with how her life seemed to be forever tethered to only the same places. There was a lot she could still get into.

And yet, after all this, she felt beaten. Talking about these things, it hadn't been easy for her, and she was in no hurry to discuss anything else, not now. Maybe after she had time to recover and build herself back up, she'd be able to go deeper, but right now, she kind of wanted a reprieve. There was only so much she could handle in one sitting.

"N-no... I think I got it all," Radiant said in a low voice. "Though..." She choked on her words and looked away. "Maybe I could come back some time for a follow up... or s-something?"

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Heart Healer could see that there were things on Radiant's mind. From what she gleened in this sitting, she had only scratched the surface of her problems with her family. But at least the job part and her aggressiveness was addressed. The pony did looked drained. It was no wonder as she was discussing some very emotional issues and that could put a tax on anypony. Sometimes it was best for the pony to take a break.

Radiant did mention that she wanted to come back another time for a session.

"Of course you can come back, Radiant. I'd be happy to address any other concerns or discussions with you. If you speak with the secretary at the front desk, she'll be happy to assist you in scheduling another time. Until then, try focusing on lowering your aggressiveness in your job and always believe that you can reach the next level in your job and life."

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"Alright," Radiant said, giving a steady nod. "I will do just that."

The pegasus stood up and smiled. "Thank you so much for your assistance, Heart Healer. It's been..." Radiant stopped herself from lying and saying it had been fun. This certainly wasn't fun. She shook her head and laughed. It was needed all the same. "Thank you." She decided to leave it at that.

With that, the guardspony left the counseling room and returned to the waiting room. She spoke with the secretary and set a follow up appointment for a week later. That done, she trotted out the door. Her exhaustion both from the session and from the shift she had worked just before hit her all at once. She was in need of some good sleep. She yawned and opened her wings, ready to fly the distance home.

(Radiant exits, for now)

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