31 replies to this topic

[Kimono]

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria
Name: Kimono
Sex: Female
Age: Mare
Species: Earth Pony
Eye Color: Green
Coat Color: Pink
Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Long, curly purple streaks,  purple skin.
Physique: Skinny
Cutie Mark: two yellow paper lanterns
Origin/Residence: Fillydelphia
Occupation: Lantern Maker and Seller
Motivation: To give everyone the Latern they requested
Likes: Quiet environment, Time in the rain, caring for living creatures, reading
Dislikes: Noisy environments, heights, stuck up ponies
Character Summary: Kimono was born in Fillydelphia quite some time ago. Her mother was a painter and she didn't understand her desire to "lounge about and sit on her bum." Her father was more of the caretaker and thus began teaching her long before she was old enough to refuse. One day it started to rain outside their home and her mother fell from a rock. Getting injured from the fall Kimono had to take care of her. Because electricity hadn't been invented yet, Kimono had to make laterns, thus getting her cutie mark.
Kimono is less tolerant towards the younger generation.
She has a bad temper and will often provoke other ponies when angry.
She also tends to be rather clumbsy and often ends up bumping into things. When this happens she tends to get angry and destroy the things she bumped into.
Kimono is rather reserved and prefers a quiet environment to a loud environment. She loves to play in the rain and read any book she can find. She also loves to take care of living creatures any chance she gets.
One of the reasons she's less tolerant towards the younger generation is because she's not very fond of young ponies.
The reason for this is because one day when a family brought in their offspring, the offspring destroyed most of the Lanterns she had made.
After this happened she wasn't too fond of the younger generation.
She now owns a Lantern Shop where creatures can have them custom made, repaired, or simply buy them.
Kimono doesn't talk a lot to ponies she just met, but once she gets to know a pony, she can chat up a storm. When she talks to other ponies, she tends not to look in their eyes. She also tends to babble sometimes, and may easily lose her train of thought.
She also prefers not to be touched if she can help it.



 Kimono.jpg   25.51K   1 downloads

Edited by Kimono, 09 August 2012 - 05:24 AM.

[SkyMunki]

Kimono looks really sweet!
I see that this is a WIP and I'm here to help you improve your application.
I was just thinking that maybe you could add some more to her description. Every pony has a past. Did she have many childhood friends at all? Did she like sport and games? School?
The "woods of Ponyville". Do you mean the Everfree forest? If you do, I'd recommend her living just on the edge, as Everfree is not a nice place for ponies to live. Especially such a kind pony as Kimono.
Next, I'm wondering why her name is Kimono. Why did her parents call her by that name? Do they just like Kimonos?
You say that her hair is long and purple, but what style? I know you have a picture but it's just nice to have a bit of description, like "curly" and that sort of stuff.
Health care is her occupation, fair enough, but where does she do it? Does Kimono own a hospital or just work in one?
What was Kimono's reaction when she got her cutie mark? Had she wanted it a lot or wasn't really bothered?
Finally, her mother was a farmer so she must have lived on a farm. What was the farm like? Did Kimono like it there?
Also you may want to include some more stuff about her recent life. what's her home like? Does she have any love interest or want to meet anypony?
And the very last point. Kimono seems very nice. A little too nice. You may want to add some bad things about her. As well as her judging others, are there any other bad things about her to even out the good? A pony that's perfect isn't a very interesting pony.
Thank you very much for your time, I hope you get accepted soon!

[Kimono]

SkyMunki, on 28 June 2012 - 03:06 PM, said:

Kimono looks really sweet!
I see that this is a WIP and I'm here to help you improve your application.
I was just thinking that maybe you could add some more to her description. Every pony has a past. Did she have many childhood friends at all? Did she like sport and games? School?
The "woods of Ponyville". Do you mean the Everfree forest? If you do, I'd recommend her living just on the edge, as Everfree is not a nice place for ponies to live. Especially such a kind pony as Kimono.
Next, I'm wondering why her name is Kimono. Why did her parents call her by that name? Do they just like Kimonos?
You say that her hair is long and purple, but what style? I know you have a picture but it's just nice to have a bit of description, like "curly" and that sort of stuff.
Health care is her occupation, fair enough, but where does she do it? Does Kimono own a hospital or just work in one?
What was Kimono's reaction when she got her cutie mark? Had she wanted it a lot or wasn't really bothered?
Finally, her mother was a farmer so she must have lived on a farm. What was the farm like? Did Kimono like it there?
Also you may want to include some more stuff about her recent life. what's her home like? Does she have any love interest or want to meet anypony?
And the very last point. Kimono seems very nice. A little too nice. You may want to add some bad things about her. As well as her judging others, are there any other bad things about her to even out the good? A pony that's perfect isn't a very interesting pony.
Thank you very much for your time, I hope you get accepted soon!

Okay. I've made some changes.

[MyLittlePonyTales]

How is this Application coming along?

[Kimono]

I'm not sure. I've made changes but I'm not sure if they've been looked at.

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Hm. Well, a staff member can't Assess your Application unless it's marked [Final]. If you feel the character is done, go ahead and mark it. The staff will continue to help you from there if need be.

[Kimono]

Okay?

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Basically, it's up to you. Is there anything you can think of that should be added to the character? If not, just mark it [Final].

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Any progress on this Application?

[Kimono]

Oh alright then. But I can't edit the title.

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Use Full Editor.

[Kimono]

Oh okay.

[flutterscotch]

You've got some cuteness here, but I have to say that here on the forum we don't take prior relationships from anything but Friendship is Magic's show canon into consideration as canon unless both parties agree.

...And I play Minty, who in this continuity thus far just kind of mooches off her parents in a tiny village in the north called Marelia.  But of COURSE collects socks.

Minty's app is here.  http://www.canterlot...page__hl__minty

I am OK with having them meet in RP and then revising your application

[Kimono]

Um okay?

[MyLittlePonyTales]

That means you need to take Misty out of your Application. And probably other G3's, as they have potential to become Cast characters since Hasbro still owns the copyrights go G3. If they become Cast, you will definitely have to change your Application to take them out, as we don't allow previous relationships with Cast characters. Taking them out now will save you trouble later. There's no problem in keeping the character's in there as your own NPC (non-playable character)'s, but the names should not be G3.

[Kimono]

MyLittlePonyTales, on 13 July 2012 - 08:22 AM, said:

That means you need to take Misty out of your Application. And probably other G3's, as they have potential to become Cast characters since Hasbro still owns the copyrights go G3. If they become Cast, you will definitely have to change your Application to take them out, as we don't allow previous relationships with Cast characters. Taking them out now will save you trouble later. There's no problem in keeping the character's in there as your own NPC (non-playable character)'s, but the names should not be G3.

Okay then.

[Phil the Time Wizard]

Hello there.

Looking this app over, there are a number of things I'd like to point out that might hold up this character's approval.

To start, it's hard to get a sense of how old the character is supposed to be. You say mare, which indicates she's at least an adult, but is she intended to be an older character? You say she was born some time ago and that she bears some resent for younger generations. That seems to indicate she might be of a more advanced age, which is something you might want to make more clear.

Secondly, there is her job. I'm not sure it quite matches up. Hospitals are big facilities that employ many; even a small one is still a pretty big thing; one wouldn't be owned by a single nurse. If you intend to say she owns something more small scale, private and intimate, saying she owns a clinic might be more appropriate. Of course, calling her a nurse might then be an issue as that has the connotation that she either works under a doctor or works at a hospital. If she owns the facility and is solely in charge of providing care from it, it might be more appropriate to call her a doctor or clinician.

Another issue is her location. For the origin/residence field of the app, you left a blank, but the rest of the app indicates it should say Ponyville. We tend to discourage users from putting their ponies in Ponyville, since it's somewhat over crowded. The World of Equestria RP offers a wealth of other exciting locations to choose from other than Ponyville. If it is not crucial for this character live in or near Ponyville, I urge you to place her somewhere else. Take a look at this list if you need to know more about approved locations.  

Even if you don't change it though, her choice of location is itself kind of confusing. She enjoyed living on a farm, and thus decided to live at the edges of the frightening and dangerous Everfree Forest? There seems to be some disconnect there that needs to be addressed. Zecora and Fluttershy have reasons to live in and near the forest, but it isn't the sort of place most ponies would decide to live.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the last line of the application is entirely confusing to me. There are no indications anywhere that Cutie Marks were ever called anything different in Equestria. Saying that they were called something else, I think, would be going against both show and board canon.

[MyLittlePonyTales]

How is this Application coming along?

[Kimono]

Phil the Time Wizard, on 19 July 2012 - 02:53 AM, said:

Hello there.

Looking this app over, there are a number of things I'd like to point out that might hold up this character's approval.

To start, it's hard to get a sense of how old the character is supposed to be. You say mare, which indicates she's at least an adult, but is she intended to be an older character? You say she was born some time ago and that she bears some resent for younger generations. That seems to indicate she might be of a more advanced age, which is something you might want to make more clear.

Secondly, there is her job. I'm not sure it quite matches up. Hospitals are big facilities that employ many; even a small one is still a pretty big thing; one wouldn't be owned by a single nurse. If you intend to say she owns something more small scale, private and intimate, saying she owns a clinic might be more appropriate. Of course, calling her a nurse might then be an issue as that has the connotation that she either works under a doctor or works at a hospital. If she owns the facility and is solely in charge of providing care from it, it might be more appropriate to call her a doctor or clinician.

Another issue is her location. For the origin/residence field of the app, you left a blank, but the rest of the app indicates it should say Ponyville. We tend to discourage users from putting their ponies in Ponyville, since it's somewhat over crowded. The World of Equestria RP offers a wealth of other exciting locations to choose from other than Ponyville. If it is not crucial for this character live in or near Ponyville, I urge you to place her somewhere else. Take a look at this list if you need to know more about approved locations.  

Even if you don't change it though, her choice of location is itself kind of confusing. She enjoyed living on a farm, and thus decided to live at the edges of the frightening and dangerous Everfree Forest? There seems to be some disconnect there that needs to be addressed. Zecora and Fluttershy have reasons to live in and near the forest, but it isn't the sort of place most ponies would decide to live.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the last line of the application is entirely confusing to me. There are no indications anywhere that Cutie Marks were ever called anything different in Equestria. Saying that they were called something else, I think, would be going against both show and board canon.

Okay. Where would you suggest?

MyLittlePonyTales, on 22 July 2012 - 12:31 AM, said:

How is this Application coming along?

Having trouble chosing a location. XD

[Phil the Time Wizard]

Kimono, on 23 July 2012 - 08:43 AM, said:

Okay. Where would you suggest?

Well, looking at the character, you say she likes quiet environments, so we probably want to stay away from the really big cities like Manehattan and Stalliongrad, and I really don't think she seems like the type who would live anywhere out west near Appleloosa. You probably do want more of an ordinary small town feel with the character. I'd personally suggest Solstice Heights (perhaps near the Whitetail Woods if you still want her around a forest) or maybe in Fillydelphia, but it's up to you to decide. If no other place does it for you and you really want her to live in Ponyville, that might also be okay. We encourage players to live elsewhere since there are already so many ponies there, but we don't flat out not allow it. I don't think that alone would keep your application from passing.