Jump to content

Imagination

RP Certified
  • Posts

    1,311
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    19

Blog Entries posted by Imagination

  1. Imagination
    Well hello there!
    You're here either because you love me, awful food, both, or you hate me, awful food or both.
    Regardless of the reason, you're here now, and that makes you an accomplice whether you like it or not! Our bond is unbreakable, because this dish will astound and terrify! It's not safe to go alone!
     
    I present to you, NYDMC (Nidmac, if you prefer!)
    I came up with this while experimenting with Mac and Cheese. Just the same old junk is too generic. Too predictable.
    BOOOOOOOOORRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
    So I made it better! With this delicious, heart-stopping dish, you won't know which way is up! Will it send your tastebuds on a creamy, cheesy journey? Build some tastebuds character with a bacony crunch? Or will it sucker punch you in your stupid jaw with surprise buffalo fire? Always expect the unexpected!
    Its a love hate relationship you'll always crawl back to.
     
    Here's what you need:
    -Macaroni (Obvious! Any will do)
    -Cheeses: I used velveeta and ground pepper jack, but if you like a runnier cheese you can always use those kraft cheese powder packs. You can get creative here, really. Use your favorite!
    -Blue cheese (crumbled would be best)
    -Bacon (Canadian, turkey, whatever you have on hand or prefer)
    -Chicken (raw would be best, though if you're not sure of yourself I won't tell if you use pre-cooked)
    -Buffalo flavoring (I use Frank's Red)
    -Mixed veggies (Once again, preference! I used shredded carrots and celery)
    -Pepper (If desired) 
    -A strong soul (Yours, champ!)
     
    Its a lot of multitasking, so make sure you have a good amount of space.
    First, you'll want to cut up your veggies and prepare your cheeses. Easy! Just don't cut yourself. Blood has an iron-y taste and ruins the flavor. 
    You should start with the chicken. If it's pre-cooked, follow those boring instructions instead. If not, you'll want to get cutting again. Have a pan hot and ready to go so once you get the chicken into small enough cubes to eat whole, you can toss them in. Once you do, make sure to keep an eye on them! You want to get all the red cooked out, but don't over do it! Once you feel you have it at a point you're comfortable with (and fully cooked, don't mess around) you can put the chicken in a bowl and save it for later.
    Once that's done, you can turn up the heat! Of your stove! Bring some water to a boil and toss your macaroni in there. Bonus points if you slam dunk it without burning yourself! Make sure to constantly stir and watch it to make sure you don't burn them, which would suck. If you have to, turn the heat down.
    When they're finished, drain the macaroni and set it aside. Add your cheeses and stir until they're thoroughly melted and mixed!
    Next, the bacon! Bacon is fairly quick to cook, and to what point is by preference. HOWEVER. If you want an easier time cutting it for the Mac and cheese, you'll want it crispy. Once it's done, turn off the stove! Collect your bacon and crumble it up into little pieces. As small as you can manage, or to whatever you prefer.
    The last steps are simple. Add the buffalo to your chicken, then add the bacon and veggies and chicken to the macaroni! If you need to, throw the whole thing back on the stove real quick to melt the cheese again and give it all a quick stir.
    Then, you're done! Wahoo!
     
    Analysis: No this is not good for me. It might be good for you but not for me. It IS delicious though. I just need to keep in mind to have the hospital on speed dial. And I need to look up US law to see if it's legal to marry food anywhere.
    Would you be shocked? I wouldn't.
  2. Imagination
    Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning, Canterlot! I missed our story time on Wedneaday and for that I should be punished. With a stick.
    Anywho, I have yet another super duper special recipe for you! Now I know some if you are going 'these aren't legit recipes because you don't give us measurements or times or anything like that! Just what's in it! Ur dum!'
    You may be right! However for my recipes, I usually guesstimate. I don't keep track of how long stuff cooks, and I don't use exact measurements of stuff! I like to experiment, as should you! But your point stands, I am pretty dumb. Which is a great transition into my next disasterpiece!
    I was making some chicken the other day and remembered something. It's that our funderful admin, Rose, keeps expecting me to put doritos in my food. I'm convinced that she is sincerely and severely disappointed by the absence of these delightful triangles. Dry those tears, Rose, Magi is here to make it better!
    Introducing the Chip Chirp! The bird with a chip on its shoulder! Ha.
    What you need!
    Chicken breast
    Blue cheese crumbles
    Bacon (obvious!)
    Cool ranch Doritos
    French's Fried Onions
    Jalapeño peppers
    Avocados
    Ranch dressing
    Mashed taters
    Garlic powder
    First! You need to cook your bacon! Make it nice and crispy! Brittle, even! Next, crush this bacon into tiny pieces and put it all in a bowl, along with the blue cheese crumbles. MIX!
    Then you put this mess in the chicken! Cut it open and expose the center! You can cook the chicken first and then add the mix, but I did them at the same time. Just make sure to check for pinkness when cooking the chicken. You don't want any!
    This chicken is going to be breaded! So! You need to grab whatever you would use for breading or even batter and crush up some Doritos with it! Add the French onions, and mix! Please note, this WILL make a mess and might not hold together if you aren't an experienced cooking dumby, like Magi.
    So when the chickens done, it should be golden with a lot if flakes on te surface. Fun! But we aren't done yet.
    Cut up some jalapeños and dice some avocados. No cooking needed. Add these to a good heap of ranch dressing and mix! Then you can top the chicken with it! Gorgeous!
    As for the taters and garlic powder, garlic mashed potatoes makes a fantastic side for this chicken.
    Analysis:
    I can't eat any other chicken anymore. This is the only stuff for me. The tender moist chicken, the delicious center, the crispy, crunchy coating, and the topping! Just.. Just... How do I spell 'Mmm', Canterlot? If you can't tell me that, at least give me the number for 911, because I have a heart attack over how much I love this.
    Rose, I hope this makes you as happy a it made me.
    What's better, is I might even have a picture of it this time! More on that later when Im able to post it, as I just made this last night as my own 'welcome home' meal.
    EDIT: Apologies for the entry spam! Not sure what happened there. All other entries of thi have been removed, so now you have just the one! Which is all you need, right?
    EDIT NÚMERO DOS: Picture's up! Behold! Though its pictures above with a quick rice dig I threw together. All my taters got eaten
  3. Imagination
    Are you ready Canterlot?
    Are you ready to be enlightened?
    This is the shepherd that will lead your flock to true delicious. It will protect you and watch over you as you graze on cheese, crust, and hotdogs. It will fight off the wolves of healthy diets and tofu.
    This is the pizza
    That will love you back.
    UNCONDITIONALLY.
    It's been far too long since I've given you all something to seize over. This little idea actually came to me in a skype conversation with our own Robikku Pegasus (Thaaaank yooooouuu ). I've worked it all out in the pink brain-meats in my skullbucket.
    Now, I have to caution you all:
    THIS IS STRICTLY A CONCEPT. I HAVE NOT YET CONSTRUCTED THIS. ATTEMPT AT YOUR OWN RISK.
    Now, as for what you'll need:
    -Pizza Crust
    -Mashed potatoes
    -Corn (frozen will do)
    -Hamburger
    -Canned chili beans (preferably with spicy sauce)
    -Kidney beans
    -chili powder
    -shredded cheese
    -hot dogs
    OPTIONAL:
    -Jalapenos
    -Minced garlic
    -Oregano
    -Italian sausage
    So the concept here is to construct the illegitimate child of a shepherd's pie and a chili dog. In a pizza. The pizza is like the cradle I guess.
    OKAY! So, obviously the first thing you're going to want to do is get started on the pizza itself. This will probably work best if we just bake the crust first, leaving it empty. So do that! Make sure it's in a decent bowl-y shape to hold the other components.
    Then, the interior stuffing of the pizza. To do this, we're going to use the groundwork for a basic shepherd's pie. Cook your mashed potatoes, add your corn and ground beef, and MIX. Oh, and make sure you cook the beef and corn too. Yeah. Do that.
    Make sure you save some of the ground beef for the second portion. What good chili doesn't have ground beef? Don't answer that, because it's entirely possible to have a phenomenal chili without ground beef but that doesn't matter right now.
    So what you want to do now is make some chili! This is where the rest of the hamburger, beans and sauce come in. SAVE THE CHILI POWDER. It will all make sense soon, shhhhhhhhhhhh...
    This is also where you can throw in your optional ingredients. Personally, the garlic and sausage appeal to me most, but you can really add anything. Celary, onions, more meat, additional seasoning, whatever suits your fancy for a wonderful chili.
    While the chili is cooking, it may also be a good idea to boil some hotdogs. You're gonna make a lot of dishes for the sake of this lovely being.
    Once it's made, you'll want to drain it a bit. Excess sauce will just make this more difficult than it has to be. Pour some of this chili on top of the pie mix and make kindof a bullseye. Spread it out from there so that it covers the surface.
    Now, the tricky part. ADD CHEESE.
    Spread it over this pizza as much as you like, and then throw it back in the oven until it melts. Everything else is already cooked, so you're golden!
    Once the cheese is melted, cut up some of your boiled hotdogs into slivers, top the pizza with it, and THEN give it all a dusting of chili powder.
    You're done!
    WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!
    Analysis:
    I don't know, as I said I haven't made this yet. It's strictly in it's concept phase. However, I'm weak in the knees just thinking about it. I'll make sure to update this entry once I've actually cooked it.
  4. Imagination
    Yes! A special entry in the book! This time it's not a recipe I have to recite from memory and tell about my past experience! This time, I have pictures!
    Also, this pie is made entirely from scratch. Another pure creation (the other being my Adult Disfigured Samurai Shrimp). This was a labor of love, as this pie is very sentimental.
    A very special thanks to Quicklime for this determined suggestion!
    Today we'll make a Cinnamon Butterscotch pie! Or Butts Pie in layman's terms.
    Just like mom used to make!
    I would also suggesting listening to the Ruins OST from Undertale while baking this.
    Okay, so I actually had to go digging for a recipe for this, because never in my life have I made butterscotch. Here I was making butterscotch AND putting it in a pie! So I was way out of my element. But it came out fantastic. Yes, I broke my rule and used measurements this time, but again, I was out of my element and didn't want to screw it up. Not that I can screw it up anyway, because I'm perfect.
    Oh, I also had my girlfriend to help me on this. Cuz she's awesome and perfect too.
    I made a couple of tweaks to the recipe I found that I think worked out okay.
    So, what you'll need:
    Pie crust:
    All-Purpose flour
    Salt
    Confectioner's sugar
    Cold butter
    Egg (1 yolk and a whole egg)
    Water
    Cinnamon
    Butterscotch filling
    Butter
    Brown sugar
    Water
    Whole milk
    Heavy cream
    brown sugar (yes I know it's listed twice shhhh)
    egg yolks (9 of them)
    corn starch
    Cinnamon
    So first for the pie crust, we need to add the first three ingredients together. Your dry ingredients!
    You should also cut up your cold butter (I cheated and left it out to soften) and mix it into your dry ingredients. I used my hands cuz I don't have a whisk and a fork was a pain in the butt.
    Mix em up til it looks like this
    Should kinda look like Parmesan cheese, which gives me a great prank idea if the opportunity ever presents itself.
    At this point you need to add the egg yolk and mix it in.
    Oh, if you can, have a local lesser dog inspect it for you to make sure you did it right.
    At this point you're gonna add your cinnamon (for the crust, don't jump the gun) and water. Carefully add water and mix everything together until it looks like playdoh.
    Also make sure it isn't actually playdoh.
    I tried to make a goatmom face. It didn't work.
    Once you do that, you're going to want to refrigerate it for awhile. Again, I cheated and put it in the freeze for a couple minutes.
    Then put it in the pie tin! If you have extra dough, do something fun with it. Like make mom cookies!
    Your lesser dog will confirm if it's good.
    You know you want to.
    ANYWAY, once that's done, pop that sucker in the oven.
    To start on the filling while that's going, you want to cook some brown sugar and water, your butter, and your milk and cream all in seperate pots on medium heat. You want the brown sugar to bubble showly, the butter to brown, and the liquid stuff to steam. Once either of those meet their requirement, shut off the heat or switch it to low.
    The rest of the stuff, your 9 yolks, brown sugar, cinnamon and corn starch you'll want to mix is a bowl separate from everything else.
    It should look like barf, which makes me wanna... Well, barf.
    After that's all taken care of, add the browned butter to the brown sugar on the stove and mix them. Then do the same with the liquid stuff but SLOWLY. Once that's done, stir it constantly. Once it's mixed, mix the barf in with that and mix them together. Also turn the heat back on.
    Stir constantly, or else stuff will stick. It'll thicken quickly, and once it does, it should look like light brown-colored barf.
    At this point, take your crust out of the oven and put the barf in it. Then put it in the oven. I did it at about 400 degrees but the recipe calls for lower.
    Then after about 20 minutes, turn the heat off and let it sit for another 20 minutes in the oven. After that, you're done!
    True to life, it has to sit for a couple hours to be cutable. It should make a cheesecakey kind of texture when all's said and done.
    I put the mom cookie on top because that's fun.
    Analysis:
    I would never turn my nose up at this if it were on my plate. It's surprisingly delicious and it fills me with determination. Also it's perfect with a little whipped cream or ice cream.
    I'm not crying you're crying shut up
    EDIT: The recipe I followed can be found here:
    http://lvl1-chef.tumblr.com/post/130137142073/undertale-butterscotch-cinnamon-pie
  5. Imagination
    Hey there, everypony!
    It's been almost two years since I've posted in this blog. Probably should've waited until the 2 year mark in 3 days to make this extra special, BUT I knew I'd forget.
    So I'm doing this today, while the idea is fresh in my head.
    So we've somewhat recently had Canterlot Chronicles added to our lovely forum, allowing for a multitude of more lenient things that World of Equestria does not! Certain races, new locations, edgier storylines and, I believe most importantly, COMBAT.
    Everypony likes fighting! Well, maybe not everypony, but combat is a new element for this forum that can draw out particular stories, or add that little extra something to animosities or rivalries between characters. Whatever the reason, ponies can now fight. But, with this comes a negative effect. Not everypony is on the same page when it comes to combat RP. Some of us (like myself) obviously have an idea of how to go about it, as we may have extensive backgrounds in combat RP. Not every place plays the same, however, and not every player plays the same either. What we need to remember, however, is that combat RP must be seen as fun and healthy competition, rather than constant violence and anger.
    I wanted to write this guide to help give people a better understanding of combat RP, how to be better at it, and how to make it more fun! Brace yourself, as this may be a bit of a read. I'm very passionate about combat RP, as I've had more fun times fighting than I can count, and have made some of my best memories with it.
    So, we need to start with the basics, before we get into actual fighting:


    RULES!

    Every board has 'em, and for good reason! Combat RP is absolutely no exception, and actually have more rules governing it (typically) to ensure a good time is had by all, both winner and loser. Here are some common rules for combat RP that I've seen over the years, and I'll go into brief detail for each one:
    -Rules of Consent
    -Post Orders
    -Player Conduct
    -God/Power Mode
    -Post-Time vs Real-Time
    -Technology Limits
    -Ranged Weapons and Magic
    -Death
    -Retcon
    1. Rules of Consent
    By far, the most important possible thing to be included in any combat RP whatsoever.
    Rules of Consent are basically a set of rules that amount to "If your character does not want to fight, they do not have to". Rules of Consent ensure that roleplays are not derailed by sudden combat, ensure that all participants in a combat situation are willing, and also protects players and characters from certain conditions they may wish to avoid, such as death, serious injury, mind control, and a whole myriad of other things.
    Of course rules of consent cannot be used as a cop-out to avoid all harm. Only in instances where the harm would seriously change your character, such as dismemberment or disfiguration.
    All combat RPs should have a general set of rules for combatants and noncombatants in this regard, and the easiest way to go about this is to establish a (OOC) line of communication between two or more participants, such as PMs so not to interrupt the flow of the RP with unnecessary chatter. Whenever something major/controversial is about to happen, bring it up, and ensure the player on the receiving end is both aware, understands, and accepts what is about to happen. Of course, it's also important to establish if the player wants to fight at all!
    Example:
    Player 1: Hey, my character is going to attempt to use mind control next post. Do you consent to this?
    Player 2: I'd rather they didn't...
    Player 1: Okay, no problem!
    Asking for consent not only instills trust between players, but can also alleviate nasty OOC confrontations to problematic interactions. It also ensures that all players who wish to opt out of combat have an opportunity to do so.
    If an issue with consent does occur, most specifically instances where players who do not wish to fight are repeatedly instigated, do not hesitate to report posts, or contact RP helpstaff or moderators immediately. A good guideline for this is the three strikes rule:
    1. Tell the other player 'I do not consent'.
    2. Tell the other player 'I do not consent, if you try again I will report'.
    3. Report.
    Remember that rules of consent are there to keep players who wish to play happy and engaged! It's an integral part of combat RP, and if nothing else is remembered, remember RULES OF CONSENT!
    2. Post Orders
    This is an easy one to explain, but important nonetheless. A lot of you I know are very familiar with post orders, however in combat RP it is extremely important to maintain this order. This gives all players involved an opportunity to properly plan their moves, as well as giving them a set order of things to react to, regardless if it's happening to their character or not.
    I know some of you are asking 'What if a player becomes inactive, and we're waiting on his/her post?'.
    Unfortunately this can happen! Even in real time roleplaying games, people can get disconnected, leave the computer, or fall asleep! In this instance, it may be hours or days before someone posts a response in a Canterlot RP. There may be an understanding between players that posting may be slow, however due to the fast-paced nature of combat, it's ideal to ensure posts and responses are made in a timely manner. For Canterlot, I'd say it would be fair to give the tardy party a notice after two days. After five days, with either no response to the notice or the RP, if there is a consensus with the other players, then the player next up in the order can be skipped to keep the game going.
    Players who are skipped in the middle of a combative action can usually be considered incapacitated at worst. It's up to the group to determine what happens!
    3. Player Conduct
    This can also be easily explained. No one wants to play with Captain Sourpuss. Just because there is a moment of violence between two opposing characters, it does not mean there should be opposition between the players. It all comes down to trust, respect, and good sportsmanship.
    4. Powergaming and GodModding
    They're all words I'm sure we've heard before, and both are a definite no-no in combat RP. But in order to understand how to avoid them, we have to understand what they mean, as they are often confused.
    Powergaming- Powergaming, by definition, is:
    "a style of interacting with games or game-like systems with the aim of maximising progress towards a specific goal, to the exclusion of other considerations such as (in video games, boardgames, and role-playing games) storytelling, atmosphere and camaraderie."
    What does this mean? In layman's terms, it means that a player is forcing an action against another in order to ensure that an RP goes a certain way. Players need to be able to have an effect on the flow of events, and be in control of their own fates and actions. Otherwise, what's the point? A good example of this is having a player attempt to control a character they do not own.
    Example:
    Player 1: Fighter 1 swings his sword at fighter 2, making him step back.
    It's also worth mentioning two other things that stem from this: Metagaming and Instahits.
    Metagaming is a player mixing OOC and IC in order to gain an advantage.
    A safe example of this is a character knowing another's name when they've never met before, because the player had read the character profile.
    Another more serious example is a player taking OOC information (such as a character profile) that contains certain weaknesses or secrets their character would otherwise not know, and then use them in RP to their advantage. A good way to avoid metagaming is to follow the mantra of 'I know nothing'.
    Instahits are, as the name implies, an instant hit from an attack. This is a definite no-no in combat RPs.
    Example: Player 1 cuts Player 2's head off.
    The best way to avoid this is to post attacks as attempts, which will be covered in greater detail in a later issue of the guide.
    GodModding - A nasty word. In a basic sense, GodModding is a style of playing that gives a character the ability to perform without limits or boundaries. An incredibly popular example of this is a character that virtually cannot be hit or harmed by anything. Good sportsmanship is a cornerstone of successful combat RP, so it's encouraged for players to take a hit now and then, especially for a system that does not use dice to initiate/counter attacks (such as posting on a forum).
    No character is good enough to avoid everything, and no character is strong enough to be impervious to harm. Even characters like the Princesses, as powerful as they are, have vulnerabilities and limits.
    5. Post Time vs Real Time
    It's incredibly important for players to consider that as everyone is posting (hopefully in order), a scene is slowly rolling out before them. Every post is like a few frames added to an entire scene, at the end unfolding into an epic battle. So we need to consider just how much time is encompassed in one post?
    Example:
    The Elven guard's breath echoed in his ears as he sprinted through the forest, desperately hoping to make it to the scene in time. The farmer's wife had run back to the barracks and told him her husband was under attack by poachers! No couldn't let another life slip away on his watch. Not again! It wasn't long before he approached the scene, throwing his back against a nearby tree as the two continued to brawl. Sweat trickled from his brow, wiping it away from his stinging eyes as he hear the poacher cry out. Suddenly, there was a loud clash of steel!
    The guard's breath escaped him, hearing an opening! He rounded around the tree, bow in hand, and drew an arrow from behind him. He squinted as he acquired his target, and drew the string back to hear the familiar creaking of his faithful weapon.​The highlighted portion of this relatively short post is the actual combat action, likely in response to another action made by other players. The actual time this encompasses?
    3-5 SECONDS.
    The rest of the post was to establish background for the character's involvement, which was clearly occurring while other actions were on the field. The actual response, which advances the story or coincides with a current action to prompt reaction, is much shorter in scope. Think about it, an archer isn't going to take five minutes to look around a tree, draw his weapon, and take aim. Especially when there's something at stake. It's unreasonable and silly. Combat is very, very quick paced, and it's important to keep this in mind when making your combat actions! Don't try to stretch your actions beyond a few seconds, or it could go into the realm of being unreasonable, or creating unnecessary difficulty for your fellow combatants.
    6. Technology Limits
    It's very important to understand technological limits in regards to combat RP. It sets a basis for what sort of weaponry and protection/lack thereof is allowed in game. It can also set a precedent for character limitations.
    It ensures that all players are on the same page in regards to what is/is not allowed in battle, as well as giving players the ability to specialize characters based on available technology/tactics.
    Another side-effect of technology limits is that it gives players the opportunity to try different tactics to maximize their chances of success, depending on the limits.
    For example, say you're setting the game in a Victorian era. Here we see a general lack of armor, but all types of early weaponry still in effect. This would give players the ability to be creative with their loadouts, and be especially mindful of hazards. For example, deep pikes and muskets used in unison make for a devastating infantry-based defensive tactic against cavalry. But, it doesn't offer much cover from other muskets or arrows.
    [Picture, because Canterlot is being a butt and won't let me just insert the image https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/3mal-c3kE5qp92oYhImoeMnfeHpgF9ZD_S6lwK7Q3rcQLE7CbgernSfYPPQmO9kiqVPLdHUAFrWiWi83Jex35hbK9-V8CBAKE4HWvSj7INEd2-mZ57TaLSTXatLrE11dc92Zz-4]
    Or say it's in a fantasy/steampunk era, where we may see knights in shining armor carrying mortars. In this instance, while the mortars are hand portable and incredibly powerful, combined with the heavy, thick armor for a good defense, may make for a deadly warrior... But a very, very, VERY slow one, and likely won't be able to respond as quickly.
    It's just a good idea to know what is allowed, what isn't allowed, and what you can and cannot do with what's available. A player who understands limitations can turn the tide of any fight in their favor, if they know how to capitalize on them!
    7. Ranged Weapons and Magic
    This is an incredibly broad topic, and one that I will write extensively about in another post. However, in terms of rules, it's a good idea to go back to considerations for post time vs real time.
    Bows/Crossbows are fairly simple to use, but require training and concentration to use effectively. The best way to go about them is to establish your posts into separate tasks, each with a combat action time of about 5 seconds. For example:
    Post/Task1: Draw arrow and pull back
    Post/Task2: Take aim and release
    A 2 post minimum I feel is more than fair to establish a good passage of time, as well as to give players enough time to potentially react, or just be aware the attack is coming. Ranged weapons should not be instantaneous, in order to keep things balanced.
    In regards to combustion ranged weapons, a good standard to go back to is the standard of the minuteman. Minutemen were famous during the American Revolution for their ability to fire 3 rounds from their muskets every minute, one every 20 seconds. For those of you who may know how a musket works, that's pretty darn fast! But of course it pales in comparison to the era of bolt-action and magazine-fed weapons, which can fire almost 5 times the rounds in the time it takes a Minuteman to fire just one ball.
    Again, we need to consider real time. We'll go back to the musket, as these kinds of weapons are relevant to what's allowed in Canterlot's combat RP. For a character with extensive training and practice, it's one ball every 20 seconds, with there potentially being one round reloaded at the beginning. Since a post should not take more than a few seconds per action so not to cause too much difficulty in the flow of time, this means it could take several posts to reload! A good way to do this is to, again, break it up into tasks per post.
    Post/Task 1: Retrieve ammo [~5 seconds]
    Post/Task 2: Load round [~10 seconds]
    Post/Task 3: Take aim [~15 seconds]
    Post/Task 4: Fire and prepare to reload [~20 seconds]
    It's pretty slow! 4 posts to fire one shot?! Of course this isn't the be-all-end-all of how it works in RPs, however in my opinion it's a fair standard to keep things balanced. In the hands of an experienced player, this limitation shouldn't be a problem, and they'll be smart about when to fire and reload. It's all in the play style.
    Now, magic. This is an incredibly broad topic, which follows much of the same rules as the ranged weapons above. However, there's several other things to consider, such as the method of spellcasting, the power of the spell being cast, the power of the mage performing the casting, their surroundings, etc. Magic is a very very very difficult thing to play well in combat, and it would be a disservice to try and condense that all here. I will make a post about magic and how to play with it well enough to be balanced, fair, and successful.
    8. Death
    Hey, it happens. We can't go on forever.
    While I'm fairly certain death is not permitted in Canterlot's combat RP, it's still important to inform you all about should you branch off to other text RP venues.
    In regards to the rules of character death, the most important thing to consider is CONSENT, CONSENT, CONSENT.
    A player MUST be able to consent to death, especially if it's an established character that will affect others in the continuity. Should a player consent for their character to be killed, then it must be discussed what the condition of death will be:
    Permanent or temporary?
    Obviously, a permanent death is permanent. The character is dead, buried, and forever out of the game. While it may be a great thing to include some emotion and drama into big RP communities, it's also a very serious thing to consider. No take-backs, no matter how many other characters cry at the funeral.
    Temporary death implies that there is a method in which the dead character can return, such as magical resurrection. If this is what is agreed upon, then it must be established how long the player must wait before they can be revived. In a real time RP environment, like where I gained most of my experience, the rule was one month. But, in a forum environment like this, that might not be so reasonable. It's up to the players to decide how long to wait. For instance, there could be a secondary plot planned for after the character death, and they can return following its conclusion.
    9. Retcon
    A Retcon is very serious.
    In any RP, a retcon usually means that something has happened that is damaging to continuity, and official action is being taken.
    This could mean several posts must be made to backtrack to a certain point where the issue occurred, and then replay the moment in order to maintain continuity. Or it could be as simple as a certain action of a post being deleted or altered in order to avoid problems later on in the game.
    When a retcon occurs, it's important to be mindful of what has changed and why, and most importantly, not to get upset about it. If the staff or a player feels a retcon is necessary, it's probably for a reason, and there likely won't be a change made without probable cause. The best way to deal with this is to carry on with the story as is after the retcon, and try not to let the break in continuity happen again. Keep in mind that a retcon does not mean you're a terrible player, or that someone is upset with you. All it means is that there was a problem with the continuity of the story or a breach of rules or conduct, and it's been fixed not only for your benefit, but other players as well!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    And there you have it! It's a general rundown of some rules you may see in properly established combat RPs. When I say properly established, I of course mean a game that might go on for quite some time, over many pages. I'm aware there is the arena topic currently active, and while it is good fun, it is NOT typical combat RP. Keep in mind that the arena topic is very subjective and not objective, being based on the opinions of outside parties to determine success, and you're confined to only a few posts.
    This guide hopes to give players a more expanded understanding of what combat RP is really like, and just how far they can go with it! I hope you all enjoy these tips through the coming posts and have just as much fun with these tremendous experiences as I have!
  6. Imagination
    So now that we have a basic understanding of the rules (I hope, since you should’ve read part 1 before this, very important!), it’s time to work on the next most important thing!


    CHARACTER

    “But Magi! Everyone knows you need a character for any RP! That’s how RPs work, durr!”
    Yes! But this part of the guide will focus on how to develop your character in a way that will capitalize on your own limitations, as well as how to properly develop them into a character everyone wants to interact with.
    Think about it:
    The Mane 6 didn’t start off as the great ponies we know and love now. In fact, when they first appeared in episode 1, they were practically nobodies! We didn’t know who they were, what their motivations were, what their personalities were like, what their particular skills were, or what their personalities were really like. We didn’t know strengths, we didn’t know weaknesses, and we didn’t know dispositions. Now in season 5, after hours upon hours of development and experience, they’re national heroes many times over, have influenced several important events in Equestria, and honed their skills to build up a reputation as ponies to be emulated in Equestrian society!
    The show started basic ideas, and molded them over time into something wonderful. That’s how character development should really work!
    Though another portion of a character comes from the skill of the player. One big problem I see in a lot of combat characters is that they’re talked up to be fearless killing machines, and then the skill of the player behind them can’t keep that talk up to snuff.
    Think of it this way. You’re a performer, and people want to see you perform! You post fliers everywhere for your act at the faire, telling everyone how great you are, that the show will change their lives! An experience they’ll never forget! And then, when it comes to be show time, everyone finds out you can’t even juggle properly. Everyone is disappointed because you couldn’t deliver on the hype, and it’s incredibly damaging to your reputation.
    Don’t bite off more than you can chew!
    Just because your character might start unskilled, because as a player you might not understand much about combat, or know how to translate it into your RPs, doesn’t mean they will stay unskilled! Through interaction with other players, your character will gain experiences that will serve as valuable lessons to shape them into the sort of character you really want them to be! And who knows? Maybe you’ll learn something along the way too, and you’ll be able to develop yourself as a more knowledgeable and experienced player!
    Alright, pep talk over. It’s time to get to the fun part. How to develop a character!
    I like to use a tier system when developing a combat character, based on the knowledge needed to pull off the character itself.
    Tier 1: Basic – Needs a basic understanding of fighting and minimal knowledge of weapons. Often a novice level combatant with little to no experience. Plenty of room for development, perfect for newbies and veterans alike! Build your character from the ground up through RP!
    Tier 2: Advanced – Requires a thorough understanding of combat and weapons systems. Can be specialized. Experience can come from extensive training in order to build combatant reputation, though there’s still room for building experiences.
    Tier 3: Elite – Requires an expert understanding of combat, weapons systems, and is almost ALWAYS specialized. You better know your stuff and how to use it, or else your reputation is going to flop much faster than your character will. Not at all recommended for minor characters or newer players.
    I’ll show you a good way to build up a character using each tier!
    Let’s say our character is an Earth Pony mare. A good idea to form this mare into a combatant is to know what we want out of her. What are our interests, and how could we implement those interests to get her to a tier 1 combatant?
    For now, let’s say we’re interested in ranged weaponry. Firearms, to be specific. Everybody likes guns. But, they’re not as easy to use as some people like to think, and require a lot of knowledge, awareness, and skill.
    We’ll say she grew up around them, to give her a basic idea of what they are. A family background, perhaps? Father was a gunsmith making muskets for Griffons! She eventually decided to help her father, learning the nomenclature for each piece of the gun, how cartridges worked, and how to tell if something wasn’t working, which would include test firing!
    This is a basic example, but a good way to establish a background of exposure to our particular weapon interest. We can use this to establish a basic knowledge of the weapon, from which we can press on and establish this character through RP!
    Personally, I love to start here. We have bare bones of a character, enough to be accepted if we write out the finer details, and then from there release them out into the world to interact with other characters, make some friends, go on adventures, and develop on those experiences to become great!
    But for some, this might not be enough. We want a bit more than bare bones. We want some meat on those bones, something to fall back on so we don’t look like such a newbie, or we don’t feel like waiting for action to find us to get that experience. This is where tier 2 would come in.
    So we want to go beyond our gunsmith’s assistant. Let’s make her a soldier.
    Military backgrounds are a great way to establish a background with training and weapons. But a mistake that a lot of people make is that they don’t consider that a vast majority of military training isn’t for combat! There’s precision drilling, classroom instruction, learning how to tend your barracks space, eat, sleep, and clean as a team. Characters learn discipline, honor, respect, and how to stay physically and morally fit! This can certainly give us that meat we want to establish a hardy sort of combatant, ready for their trial by fire!
    Most specifically, they have a chance to hone their fighting skill. So, back to our gunsmith’s apprentice. During her weapons training, she’d learn how to clean and maintain her weapon, how to properly hold it, compensate for recoil, and reload quickly, as well as improving on her marksmanship. This also opens doors to team experience, as she’d have to learn how to operate as a member of a firing line, learning commands and responsibilities.
    There are other ways to establish a learned background, of course, however this will also coincide with our tier 3 example.
    Sure, she can shoot better and has some combat training. But for some, even this might not be good enough. We want to strive for something more, and push out a character that’s ready to go for the worst the battlefield has to offer. Ready to chew it up, spit it back out, and fight it again. This is for players who truly believe they have the knowledge and experience to pull off this sort of character, and be able to play them well enough to still be desirable to interact with within the community.
    Let’s make this soldier a sniper.
    What does it take to be a sniper? Well, it’s stepping out of your comfort zone. It’s going anywhere, anytime, without exception, all for the shot. It’s understanding how to use elements of nature to your advantage, how to be efficient, and be the last thing they never see.
    Sounds cool, right?
    Well, you better know what you’re talking about in your posts, or your character isn’t going to be as cool as you hoped.
    She would most likely move on to a different weapon system. Probably imported griffon semi-automatics or bolt action rifles and an X4 magnification scope. She’d have to learn the ins and outs of these weapons all over again, knowing what part is what, how it contributes to the whole, how to keep it clean and how to put it back where it belongs. She’d have to know how rifling works, and how to reload the weapon. She would have to practice with its handling, practicing and perfecting every element of the firing cycle: feeding, chambering, locking, firing, unlocking, extracting, ejecting, cocking.
    Then she’d have to delve into the world of advanced marksmanship. What is the maximum effective range of her weapon on a point target? Area target? How does distance and wind affect the bullet? How much does she have to compensate for the bullet to strike true? What’s a good method for judging distance and wind speed/direction? Is the target moving, and if so, how far will she have to lead them while still taking those other factors into account?
    To all these questions, not only will your character have to know the answer, but you will as well in order to best use this skill to your advantage. Otherwise, you’ll make for a very poor marksman.
    You’ll notice each tier of this development requires more specific knowledge than the last, which is fine and good, but just because you have the knowledge doesn’t necessarily mean you have to throw in an instant war hero to the RP. It’s all a matter of what you get out of it. Sure, if you can effectively play a tier 3 character you’ll fare a bit better in combat, however the experience is had. It’s done. The development of your character’s skills can’t go much further. This is why I prefer tier 1, or even tier 2 characters so much. It still gives us the capability of letting the character learn through RP, and letting others experience these transitions with us! It creates strong bonds when players can learn and develop together, and for strong and trustworthy friendships on the battlefield!
    These are very bare-bones descriptions of these different sorts of character developments, but well enough to guide you. Please keep in mind that the above is simply my own system for considering combat characters, and is not to be taken as scripture for what you do! It’s important to go your own way, though also good to consider the advice above, and know what you want out of an RP experience. But remember, what’s MOST important, is taking into account what you REALLY know, and what you can effectively portray in a character!
    THAT is the difference between great characters, okay characters, and bad characters: The ability to play their capabilities and meet the expectations of others you interact with, especially at higher levels.
    Building your reputation as a player is paramount!
    Hope you enjoyed part 2 of this guide! Stay tuned for more, and if you have questions or comments, leave them below, or feel free to PM me!
  7. Imagination
    Storytime #4 - Martial Fartist
    So here's a story about one of Magi's low points. I don't have many, and they don't matter much because I'm perfect. You guys have heard some awesome moments of mine, so I think it's only fair I share an embarrassing one, and this comes to mind pretty clear.
    In my younger years my brother and I were aspiring martial artists. For some reason, we decided that American Kempo was the way to go. We went from studio to studio, because membership fees and such be expensive yo... Aaaaand at one of the places the 'master' may have stolen a bunch of money and said "deuces" but that's another story for someone else to tell. I don't know the nitty gritty of that.
    Anyway
    We were pretty ameteur. Or my brother was. I was the best. At the last dojo we went to, I held the record for number of side blade kicks to a punching bag without my foot touching the floor. About 100-something. But that's also another story.
    During one period of instruction, we were sitting around in our gis on the mats and listening to the instructor. We were learning... I don't know I can't remember. But it was Kempo stuff. All was going well, when suddenly, I felt a disturbance in the force. I froze, everything slowed down. Decisions, 007, decisions. My options:
    1. Excuse yourself and go to the restroom, just in case
    2. Put all remaining focus and life energy into holding that bugger back
    3. Gamble
    I was sitting the the middle of a crowd of a couple dozen kids, and was too awkward to just get up and shimmy through the class. So option one was out. Option two, heck no. It was coming. It was too late to restrain it. Only one option remained, and I tried to rationalize that it was the best one.
    Perhaps it would be silent. Then people would just point fingers at each other and I could just play tragic bystander. It didn't feel that powerful. Surely it would pan out that way.
    But when it arrived...
    It was not silent, Canterlot.
    There was no whisper about this.
    As it reached the end of its journey, it turned the speakers up to 11. It caught me and likely several others in the parking lot by surprise. There was absolutely NO denying this one. All eyes were on me, including the bewildered instructor who looked like I had just mastered the five star palm of death. Unwanted attention, for an unwanted reason. I just sat where I was and waited for my brain to shut itself down so I could die. But I didn't die, and class continued as if nothing had happened shortly afterwards. I writhed in self-pity for another half hour before my mother finally arrived to pick us up at the end.
    My brother relayed every horrific detail.
    I'm sorry Canterlot.
    I'm so sorry.
  8. Imagination
    I'm back.
    You're going to die.
    I guarantee it.
    If you attempt this, you must print and sign this waiver:
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Cannibal Pizza Damages Waiver
    With the signing of this totally legal waiver I hereby exonerate the instructing party (Imagination of Canterlot.com and the account's actual owner) from all liability and fault for any damages to person, family, friends or property, including but not limited to scorched grills, destroyed toilets, ruptured stomachs or death from delicious.
    Attempts at legal action will result in the agreed confiscation of all money on my person, the contents of my pantry, my firstborn and my soul. Imagination has every right to deny awards for damages be they emotional, physical or spiritual. By signing this I acknowledge Imagination as the one true holder of the Nega Baked bad, and is therefore beyond reproach and is dastardly handsome.
    Under threat of perjury and being called lame, I sign,
    X
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I don't have a lot of money anyway, so suing would be useless.
    BACK TO BUSINESS
    I know you missed me. I missed you all too. And you know what? I'm not even waiting until Saturday. I can't. It's too much.
    I was going to save this. I really was. But since I've been gone so long and haven't given you fine folks a good helping of cardiac troubles, you've forced my hand.
    The Cannibal Pizza!
    Now, I constructed this monster not too long ago during a cookout. We were at the beach, and there was a general store not far away. We had a few alcoholic beverages (which I certainly do not recommend) and decided to play God. This is what happened.
    What you'll need:
    -A LOT of pizza crust stuff (we used Pillsbury)
    -Cheese! (Any will do. Will describe what I used)
    -Pizza toppings of your choice (Lots of em! Seriously, you're gonna want to break the bank)
    First, you need your bottom layer. Yes, I said bottom layer. We'll wait for you to change your pants and get back before we continue.
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ... you good? Alright.
    This will be what I call the 'calzone' layer. I used mozzarella and pepper-jack cheese and spinach. Close that off with another pizza crust and close it off. Make a calzone. A calzone the size of a pizza. Mind you, I did this with a charcoal grill. Mistakes are bound to be made if you are not experienced. This is alright. I don't blame you. Yes I do
    Once that's done, you're going to move on to the stuffed crust. We don't have time to wait again, relax.
    Take enough pizza crust that you'll be able to make a tube that can wrap around the outside of this calzone. Stuff it with what you like. Personally, I used Cabot sharp cheddar cheese. I was experimenting, leave me alone. Now, what you're going to want to do with this is again, make a tube to wrap around the calzone, but make sure not to close it all the way! Let the outside of the calzone be touching the cheese inside so it'll fuse to it. It might not hold together as well as it would if you just rolled some of the original dough, but that's fine. This is a monster, it's bound to fall apart. Call it artistic license and shut up.
    I love you.
    Once that's done you grill this again. "But Magi, what if I burn the calzone layer?!"
    Do I have to think of everything?! Okay, fine, no, it's okay. You can put several pieces of tin foil under the calzone layer to keep it from being directly exposed to the fire if you're using a grill like I did (MAKE SURE THE FOIL IS SHINY SIDE UP SO IT DOESN'T STICK). If you can, try to expose the crust though. Figure it out, I'm not your dad.
    Once that's done, you should have what looks like a stupid-looking crusted calzone. Fix it.
    For the sauce thing on top, you can use anything. Tomato sauce is boring, but if you're boring, go for it.
    I used some kind of white creamy stuff. Might have been Alfredo. Ranch, blue cheese, or Caesar will work too. Or BBQ sauce or buffalo. You're making it, not me. You do you brohamski.
    When you goT your sauce, add your toppings. Yes, toppings come next. I put sausage, bacon and red pepper on mine. Then cook it. I know this is difficult because you have a stupid-looking calzone under all this plus foil (if you took my advice). SO. If you can, try to bake it. Not too long, just long enough for the cheese to melt. Yes, you put more cheese on it. Before the toppings preferably.
    I should've mentioned that before? You signed the waiver, you have no say. We're in this together!
    When it's done, try to eat it.
    Unless it eats you.
    Analysis:
    I'm dead and writing this from beyond. That's how spectacular this is. Not only will this annihilate you with deliciousness, but it'll just as quickly revive you into the pizzaworld. That's like the netherworld, only you can eat pizza. It's awesome and I've never been happier.
    If you accidentally burn the bottom layer, no worries. Scrape off the black and you get a bit of added crunch!
  9. Imagination
    Hello again, Canterlot! Grab your forks and alert your surgeons, because its time for another Nega Baked Bad masterpiece!
    Continuing my theme from last week, I will be focusing on MREs one last time before retuning to real food! This one is affectionately called the 'Yut Yut', the word Yut being. Common Marine Corps term for Yes. Or just a general term of motivation! Try it, and you'll swear you had the urge to shave with a ka-bar and make fun of the Army!
    Anyway, this recipe is probably the only 'burger' you can get in the field! You need:
    Real bread
    1 Beef Patty MRE
    1 Beef Taco MRE
    1 Vanilla Snack Cake
    1 MRE heater
    The bread is easy. Just snatch it from the chow hall if you have the chance! Next, get the two required MREs. Easy! The beef patty will have condiments, and the beef taco will have meat similar to a sloppy joe! You need to heat both of these and place them on the bread! You then add some mustard and ketchup, a pinch of salt, and use the cheese spread for the cheese an you're done!
    Simplicity itself! Though I dare just one of you to try to eat this beast with your hands. If you have the snack cake, enjoy it! Along with the other MRE snacks you get.
    Analysis:
    This is the closest thing to a real burger you can get in the field, and it's terrific. Especially if you haven't had a real burger in weeks. It will not only be delicious, but make you appreciate the little things a bit more in life and refresh your soul. A terrific escape from the hustle an bustle of the military life.
    Construct yours today, and take your arteries for a ride!
    CAUTION:
    May make you a bit gassy!
  10. Imagination
    Good evening boys and girls! It's that time again for another lovely story! Magi style!
    Tuck yourselves in and smile big, because this is quite the tale!
    Now, my friend (Whom I shall refer to from now on as Billy) and I liked to have some good old fashioned hikes! At night! Like, really really late! There are many adventures that stemmed from our hikes! Like exploring long pipes underground, or wearing shorts and t shirts in the middle of February at the top of a mountain, and still feeling pleasantly toasty because of a solar flare! Or even running into a group of ruffians and showing them what for! But adventures are not all fun and games kiddies. It should be left to professionals, like Billy and I! For in the darkest corners of the world lie ferocious beasts that only the strong may face!
    One evening, Billy and I were on one of our hikes in the mountains! It was around 2AM. We decided to stop when we heard some rustling in the bushes by us! Now Billy and I always went on hikes prepared children. And when I say prepared, I mean armed with .22 tacticals.
    We thought our little rifles could handle whatever rodent must be making this noise and coming toward us. So we took aim and turned on our tac lights.
    What stared back into this illumination was the most brilliant set of golden eyes I had ever seen! It wasn't long before we realized we were staring death in the face, in the form of a mountain lion not 15 feet away!
    But we didn't panic children! Well, we did, but neither of us will admit it. For those of you not familiar with bullety things, a .22 against a mountain lion is about as effective as hitting an airplane with a rock. It won't do much unless you hit it in just the right spot!
    It was a Mexican Standoff! Would we shoot, or would it pounce? It felt like forever, though realistically it was about three minutes. The lion, overcome by our manliness and bravado, turned around and left. We had won the stare down with one if the mountain's most ferocious killers!
    And that's when we found out that the 32 McDoubles in Billy's fridge we bought the other day had gone bad.
    Good night Canterlot!
  11. Imagination
    Ten Hut, Canterlot! It's me, Magi, coming to you live via cell phone! Since Im away for training for the next several days, I figure now would be a good time to show off my well sought-out talent in the military:
    I am a Master MRE chef! I know, it was expected, but Im just so good at food. First, a lingo lesson! For you civilian-types, MRE stands for Meal Ready to Eat, which typically consists of immitation meat, a bread or cookie, some kind of snack, and accessories like gum, tissues, and coffee packs. Military food!
    I can make almost any MRE taste pretty darn well! But if I can combine multiple MREs, I can make a masterpiece, like this! The Commandant's Special!
    What you need:
    1 Spicy Vegetable pasta MRE
    1 Chicken MRE (any will do so long as its chicken)
    1 Fruit and Nut mix pack
    1 Mexican Rice MRE
    1 Wheat Snack Bread
    1 MRE heater
    First, you open the Mexican rice! Then you open the chicken meal and cut it up into smaller bits. Do not mix it with the rice! Not yet! Next you need to do some separating. The spicy vege pasta meal will have vegetable bits in it. You need some. In that same MRE will be chile sauce. You need that too. Open up the fruit and nut mix and pick the fruit out. Either eat the scraps of these yourself or give them to someone else.
    Now! You need to mix the chicken, the veggies and the nuts with the chile sauce an mix it all good! Then you add this mixture to the Mexican rice, and mix once more! Use the MRE heater to hear it all up, and serve it with a piece of wheat snack bread to wipe up the straggling bit that's left when you're done!
    Analysis:
    If you are lucky enough the get all the components for this, by all means treat yourself! The chile sauce gives it some great kick, the nuts for crunch, and the rice is plenty filling. The rest is just delicious. So delicious, in fact, that you might forget the government bought this food from the lowest bidder!
    Enjoy!
  12. Imagination
    Hello Canterlot, it's me again. The one and only Magi.
    Ladies, please.
    Now, before we begin, I'm going to go right ahead and let you know that the following meal is 100% natural. "But Magi! Surely something organic and natural cant be THAT bad for me!"
    Normally I would just smack myself and wonder what I was thinking. But this is not the case. My face shall remain unsmacked, and your heart may not rest easy.
    Behold, the Adult Disfigured Samurai Shrimp!
    Antiheroes in a caripise! Crustatian Energy!
    So I have an uncle that does his own fishing. Catches all kinds of stuff! During one visit, we made these bad larries. First, we took some jumbo shrimp. When I say jumbo, I mean almost as thick as my wrist. No idea where he found them but they have to be radioactive to be this massive. Worry not, I can just read in the dark now.
    Anyway we cooked these monsters up and cut their heads off. Pure brutality. But my uncle also had on him live lobster, crab, and scallops. Oh yes. Yes indeedy. We cooked and mashed up some lobster, some crab, and some scallops. It was a fine fishy mess, but we weren't done.
    We stuffed the shrimp with this mess! Then we soaked them in butter, breaded the stuffing top, and baked them for a bit. What burst forth from the oven was the most dangerous aquatic warrior I had ever laid my eyes on. After they cooled, we fetched more butter, and demolished these creatures with our mouths.
    Analysis:
    If you want to know what Aquaman crying tastes like, then this is the meal for you. May be on the expensive side if you don't catch it on your own like my uncle did... But let me inform you that it is worth every coin. You get the joy of lobster and crab in the soft, chewy carcas of another dead shellfish! Add some melted butter, an you'll swear this has to be illegal. Take your taste buds on an odyssey, and feast on some ADSSs today! You'll be glad you did.
  13. Imagination
    Good evening all! It's me! Imagination!

    Come on now, ladies, I'm in the middle of something.
    Now today we have a special story. Maybe for kindof a sad reason, so brace yourselves.
    This is going to be a memorial story, because we had to put my dog down today. Though I'm the sort of person that doesn't dwell on a death and rather celebrate a life. So I thought tonight would be a good night to share one of my funnier experiences with my best-friend-almost-brother Bruschi. I'll miss you, Poopie.
    So one fine morning I was asleep on my lovely queen sized bed, about 10AM on a Saturday. I was dreaming the morning away and having a splendid time. But there was one creature that would not be content with my lovely dreaming!
    Oh no, children!
    This was a beast unlike any had seen before! Massive paws, thick fur, and taller than a man standing straight! This massive hound was out for blood! Well, no, he wasn't. He just wanted Magi to get his lazy butt outta bed! How did he do it? I'll tell you! He almost murdered me, kids! That's right! You heard it here!
    First, he climbed up onto the bed. Not jumped, climbed, because he was a big burly thing and could do that! Walking on over to me, he could've carried out the old token custom of licking his master's face to awaken him. But no he had something much more sinister in mid. He SAT ON MY FACE.
    Allow me to repeat.
    SAT. ON. MY. FACE.
    The greatest how-do-you-do at 10AM is being smothered by dog butt, let me tell you! Luckily this woke me right up and he eventually saw fit to end my torture and run off.
    Yes. My dog almost killed me. But this was followed by several years of unhindered good times, friendship, and watching Criminal Minds.
    But even in death my dog got the last laugh, Children.
    After returning home, having said my final goodbyes, I retreated to the family den to be alone. And there in the corner, it lay. His final laugh. His parting gift. The concluding hurrah:
    He pooped on the carpet.
    Goodnight, Canterlot!
  14. Imagination
    Hello all! I'm Imagination, also known as Magi, among other not-so-polite things! I tell the BEST bedtime stories! Hands down! And today, I will share one with you, regaling of my fantastic adventures of life and other stuff!
    Story #1: I Do Solemnly Pledge!
    Once upon a time, ol' Magi had found himself at college! Now, this wasn't just any college, fillies and colts! It was a college full of fun activities, silly outfits, fun food, and no such thing as an indoor voice!
    I'm of course speaking of military school!
    We had wonderful times there, but sometimes... SOMETIMES, our living spaces were under scrutiny. We called these charming events, INSPECTIONS! Woo! I was the best at inspections kids. Never failed! Not once! But my instructors didn't like this very much at all! No they did not! Not because I was clean and timely, but because I was still... Well, an idiot. But don't worry children! I haven't changed much.
    Anywho! One fine morning my roommates and I were preparing for the latest inspection, when one of our instructors came into our room and demanded that the floor be SPOTLESS! Who was I to argue? It seemed sensible! But everyone else was hogging the mops and the inspection was in 10 minutes!
    Time was of the essence! The bootsteps of doom were looming closer and closer! But then, Magi had the most planest of clevers. Digging through the room, I found a few cans of pledge! We decided to spray this lovely substance upon the tile floor and wipe it down! It was so clean, and smelled so nice, I nearly wept! And what's more, it had a charming side-effect! The floor was now a slick as ice! ICE! My roommate and I had a heck of a time balancing ourselves on this surface, and we just knew that our instructors wouldn't like this at all. Oh no, it seemed our goose was cooked! But there was no time to fix it! They were coming! We got into our inspection positions and managed to balance ourselves. We awaited our fate.
    One instructor came to our room. He took one step on the glistening floor, and slipped! He caught himself on the doorframe and saved himself, pulling himself up and storming off without a word. About fifteen minutes later, he returned! With a whole cadre of angry instructors! However, he failed to tell them about the room! When they stormed on it, there was a pile of angry uniforms at our door, and it was all we could do to not laugh. It wasn't long before the Captain arrived. This man skated along the slick surface like a tundran gazelle. So graceful! He stopped before me and asked if I pledged the floor, I answered in the affirmative! Expecting a lecture, he congratulated me and skated away, leaving the room.
    And that was how we found out our Platoon Sergeant's laugh sounded like a donkey.
    Good night everyone!
  15. Imagination
    Good day, all!
    SO
    My first entry, and it's certainly gonna be a goodin. Ended up skipping the story. Good things are worth waiting for! Magi will tuck you all in safe and sound next Wednesday, but for now, I'm here to destroy your cardiac system.
    THE Y.M.B.T. BURGER (otherwise known as the 'Y'all Must Be Trippin' Burger. Explanation to follow!)
    SO. I went to Wendy's with a couple friends of mine. At, like, midnight. We all had the brilliant idea of 'hey, lets order 100 chicken nuggets and hope they don't spit in it!'. Seemed like an awesome idea!
    And it never stopped being an awesome idea. After Having to repeat ourselves to the drive-thru, as soon as we arrived at the window the woman who took our money immediately shouted, hands on her hips: 'Y'all must be trippin'! You must loooove chicken nuggets!' Yes Ma'am. Yes we do. So we paid our $30 and left.
    I, however was not satisfied with chicken nuggets. I was hungry. My friends said 'no don't make a mess' but I was like 'no, messes are happening'. So I shredded these nuggets and added some buffalo sauce to this mess of dead fowl. So now I had basically a buffalo chicken dip made of chicken nuggets. While I was busy working my art, my friends had already finished their nuggets and were already playing Donkey Kong Country. I decided to make a patty out of this delicious mess, and fry it. Now I had a semi-solid fried patty of shredded buffalo chicken. Already my friends commented on the absurdity of my actions, but I was not done.
    Justice is never done.
    I, for some reason, could not stop thinking about my old favorite. The burger that made me swear off Burger King for years because they got rid of it. The Loaded Steakhouse Burger. Mashed taters, fried onions, A1 steak sauce, cheese, and a meat patty all in a nice messy bun. My purpose had been fulfilled.
    So now I had the idea to mix these devious devices. Yes, I made a double burger with one Bubba's burger patty (best ones to use ever in my glorious and irrefutable opinion). While my brother grilled the burger and used lemon pepper seasoning to make it 20% cooler, I got to work on mashed taters. Not a lot, but enough to make a decent bowl for a single person. Simultaneously, we fried some onion slices. Once the burger was done, I reheated my buffalo patty and built my burger.
    Lets recap:
    Bubba's seasoned burger patty of deliciousness
    Wendy's shredded buffalo nugget chicken patty
    Mashed potatoes (with a little Velveeta for taste)
    Fried onions
    Buns
    Delicious.
    ANALYSIS:
    It's hard to describe just how much I enjoyed this sandwich. It's... It's like a heart attack in the bun alone. Grown men have cried over morsels this juicy and meaty, spicy and refined. Just this basic death burger was enough to e the envy of my friends, who have witnessed my power before. But then we all clocked out around 3AM. Remember children, good things come to those who wait. They could've had a Y.M.B.T., but nooooo.
    Anyway, there's the first. Of many. Certainly not my most elaborate dehealthifyer, but it was wonderful nonetheless. I feel I could've still added another sauce to it. But, you know what they say about hindsight.
  16. Imagination
    Good day!
    Yes, I've made yet another blog! But this one isn't for sharing random thoughts or notes or whatever. No, I'm more organized than that. Bi-product of being just too handsome, you see.
    I'm going to dazzle you with foods so obnoxiously unhealthy that you'll swear I must weigh 400 pounds (180, thanks for asking!) and be watering at the mouth all the while! See, I am the lone holder of the Nega Baked Bad. That makes me a very powerful force here on Canterlot. I will share that power with YOU, the average or not-so-average reader.
    Every Saturday I will post a new experiment here in this blog. I will describe what was in it, what I did with it, and go into excruciating detail about how delicious it was.
    NEXT
    I love telling stories, and interesting things happen to me quite often. So that I don't end up bursting at the seams with this very no-doubt interesting, need-to-know knowledge of mine, I'll tell you all a nice story every Wednesday. It could be a story from my past, present, or completely made up! Maybe not the last one, but that goes without noting, I'm sure. My credibility is absolute!
    So, this has been your warning, Canterlot. The power of the Nega Baked Bad sits before you!
    Or at least it will every Wednesday and Saturday.
  17. Imagination
    Just jumping on the bandwagon :I
    EDIT: Alrightalrightalright, I'll write something else.
    Life will take you to strange places. Like here! I was a tri-sport athlete in High School, I go to a military school, wither myself away in front of videogames, and am going to boot in about three weeks. Yet I love colourful cartoon ponies.
    I roleplay as THIS for corn's sake:

    But I love it. Strange places indeed. But, things your a part of are mostly what you make of it. If you think something is over or beyond repair, it's probably because you don't want to be in that something anymore. I believe Lime has said that already but whatevs © Imagination lolololololololol
    Just remember that just because a show ends, it doesn't mean fans will end. There are shows that ended in the 80s that still have huge fanbases, even those that weren't remade. It's the memories and sense of nostalgia that's most important. Everyone has experienced this from some kind of show, or videogame, or book series. Disagree?
    'Who are you, who do not know your history?'
    PS: FiM is ending? Since when? Season 4 was confirmed, people
  18. Imagination
    Looking over everything I'm doing on Canterlot before I ship off, I've been finding myself wanting.
    I want to do more for you, the Canterlot community. All I have to offer at the moment, however, are my thoughts. I have fun talking about things, and I like to think people have fun reading them. So, here's what I propose.
    I'm going to review things. User submitted content. That's right, you decide what I'm going to talk about. A 'penny for your thoughts' deal, if you will. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I will select a topic to talk about and post it in my blog (The Barracks).
    RULES!
    1. Must be appropriate. Yes, age and board appropriate
    2. Topics cannot be something that will evoke strong feelings (IE War in Iraq, Gay Marriage, Obamacare, etc etc. If it involves religion or politics at all, count it out)
    3. All entries must be submitted to me via PM. Anything submitted in comments will be ignored.
    So there you have it, Canterlot. A simple proposition that I hope will satisfy my want to do more, and your curiosity about what I have to say, if any. So have at it!
  19. Imagination
    HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY HEY HEY
    HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY HEY HEY
    HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEY HEY HEY
    HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEY HEY HEY
    HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEY HEY HEY
    HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY HEY HEY
    HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY HEYHEY
    HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEY
    HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEY
    HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEY
    HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY HEYHEY
    HEYHEY HEYHEY HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY HEYHEY
    Listen!
    Yes, I was that incredibly bored.
    BUT, that brings me to an interesting question I wished to pose, related to the above!
    What is it that you, the Canterlot community, does when you are bored? Care to share your most interesting shenanigans? How do you pass the time during power outages, or when you're kicked out of the house, or get cabin fever, or you're stuck at a party you really don't want to be at?
    Reveal to me how you relieve thy boredom! It is relevant to my interests.
  20. Imagination
    -Gone an entire day imitating the Christian Bale Batman voice?
    -Got an invitation to a shirt-and-tie event, and showed up wearing a t-shirt and tie?
    -Called somebody by someone else's name, and then made the exact same mistake when trying to apologize?
    -Mistaken a woman for a man?
    -Vice versa?
    -Caused an accident during a ski lesson by not moving while a snowboarder was trying to be cool and fly by you, causing him to nick your skis and fly into the rest of your class, leaving you the only one standing?
    -Wondered why professors bother assigning things on a vacation, plan to use that as your argument and you're the only one that didn't do the assignment when the moment of truth comes?
    -Tried to arrange trophies in a Fallout game just right, even though you're most likely the only one that's actually going to see your collection?
    -Actually gone out of your way to show off such a collection?
    -Fallen asleep on your laptop after a night of self indulgence and then tried to find out which keys left an imprint in your face by looking in the mirror for half an hour?
    -Tried to dis Twilight movies in front of a group of Twilight fans?
    -Succeeded in the latter?
    -Done/said/thought of something totally awesome, but then completely forget what it was an hour later?
    -Gotten free stuff for saying stuff in a Boston accent at another's request?
    If so, you may be me. If that's the case, be sure to come up with something more interesting to type about next time. Although this was rather nostalgic...
  21. Imagination
    It'll gitcha :I
    Being as awesome as I am, I figured it would be in the universe's best interest to share my most recent thoughts, as I've been neglecting you all of late. For which I do NOT apologize. Cuz.
    Anywho, I got in a debate with my man friend thing the previous eve on the meaning of the term 'gamer'.
    To me, a gamer is a label you EARN. It takes time, yo! You need to have a 'who needs sunlight?' sort of attitude! Your videogames are like an extension to your body, and you long for it every MILLISECOND you are without them!
    YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM GET THIS ADDICT STUFF AWAY FROM ME AAUUUGU-
    You live videogames, you dream of videogames, you eat, drink, breathe, date, marry, do taxes with, get angry with, make-up, and die with videogames. Though I will consider one consideration in saying that this is a 'hardcore' gamer. Sure. But see, I'm an OG. That's Original Gamer, yo. I've been attached by the thumbs to a controller since I was in diapers. Literally. I played NES when I was 2. Get on my level, bro.
    I'm a gamer. I EARNED that.
    But my man friend thing goes on to say he's a gamer 'because he likes to play videogames once in awhile'. I.E, he plays Mass Effect for a few minutes, and then goes on and has a "life", whatever that is.
    He plays videogames, but he's not a gamer.
    For the love of Celestia, I still run into people who have no idea who MARIO is! Or still think that Link is ZELDA! Or have never played Banjo Kazooie, but still pretend to know all about it and RGCHVJDHBSVS M AV KASVAS
    Or people that never played Pokemon Red and Blue, and jumped on the bandwagon after this 'post-mewtwo' nonsense. 150 IS ALL YOU NEEEEEE-or that have never touched other games other than the populars, like Sonic the Hedgehog, Megaman, Mario, Pokemon, Starfox, etc etc.
    Anyone remember Jungle Strike on Sega Genesis? How about the Aladin game, or Goof Troop? Yoshi Story? Kid Chameleon? Duke Nukem (the 3 before Forever, or even the ones before 3D)? How about more modern games that don't get as much credit as they should? The Godfather for Playstation? Alpha Protocol on Xbox?
    How about Indie games? GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR MINECRAFTVJHKBSB.VF.SJKBVF.DB .FD
    Yeah.
    Gamers :I
    Disagree with me, and I'll glare at your post and ignore it, cuz I'm awesome.
    I don't have a problem it's everypony else who's crazy
  22. Imagination
    Seeing as we're all gonna die tomorrow (banner confirmed cuz banner doesn't lie yo) I'd just like to say a few things.
    For one, lasagna in bed is awesome. Especially while watching a movie. Suggestion for last meal? Maybe so. At least make your last movie something festive. It's the holiday season afterall! Don't go watching something like Independence Day, or Day After Tomorrow. You're supposed to take your mind off our imminent deaths!
    While it's on my mind, don't watch Core either. I know they stop the world from ending in that movie, but the same general principle applies.
    Back to last meals, just go all out. Go to the most fancy restaurant in town, without a reservation, and order the seafood dish. Hopefully it's a stuffed lobster. You know, a big bug split down the back and crammed full of shrimp, clam, crab and bread crumbs. With lots of butter. DELISH. And don't bother paying that bill. Just walk out. Who's gonna stop you? Everyone's going to be dead tomorrow morning.
    Allergic to shellfish? Eat it anyway! This is a horrible time for self preservation! It's time to see what all the fuss is about!
    Another thing, send me hats. Fancy ones! I need to have something nice to wear to face my doom. Send it to the following address:
    That's all I really have to say... Uhh... Regrets... Hm... I regret not being able to watch hockey this year, but that's not really my fault now is it?
    Oh well.
    Good bye, Canterlot! It's been a pleasure existing with you all, and I love you :'3
    Have a good weekend!
  23. Imagination
    Well not really, but pretty close.
    Today was the last day of classes, so get to sleep and laze about and stuff from now on.
    ALSO
    I had ham. That's always something.
    But most importantly, I learned I can finally go to a thing I always wanted to go to! Turns out I'm not busy on the date for the thing that I want to go to, but it's on a weekend! So then thing I want to go to can be got to!
    In other news, drilling and construction continues right outside my dorm window. Ruining my soda and knocking over my books...
  24. Imagination
    First blog entry... First blog entry...
    Well, to be entirely honest, I started this because I was bored out of what's left of my mind and figured 'why not?'.
    I dunno what to talk about. I guess my old Tumblr doesn't feel right to post thoughts at, and having an ask topic in the spam area seemed impersonal... So yeah, here it is!
    To be perfectly honest, I wasn't a fan of blogs when I first traversed this vile wonderland that is the internet. Just seemed like an outlet for angsty teenagers to post fake death threats, post rage about the most obscure things ever, and tell a handful of people about how bad their day was. With that in mind, I want to make a blog that won't totally bum people out and fill their faces with sadness. I got something interesting to say, I'll say it! An appropriate story to tell, I'll tell it! An interesting question to answer? Sure, why not?
    I get bored a lot. But how one takes care of boredom really depends on the situation, doesn't it? I can always find ways to entertain myself. Some more childish than others, but still. Growing up is for adults. Like last week I drew an Eggman face on my desk during an unnecessarily long lecture. Was still there today. That was awesome.
    Yup.
×
×
  • Create New...