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Mellorious

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  1. Mellorious

    Genie in a Bottle

    By Mellorious,

    A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp...yada yada yada!
    This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
    The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete ... how much steel! Do you know how many engineers I would have to hire to figure how to do it? No, think of another wish."
    The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'... know how to make them truly happy."
    The genie paused for a few minutes and then said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
  2. Mellorious

    I miss my GF...

    By Mellorious,

    Weh. She had to go for a week, due to missing money and food. I don't think she took it. ;-;
    Well, now i'm depressed and worried sick for her, as she's on the streets in the university district of Seattle. At least we have friends there from when we were on the streets there.
  3. Mellorious
    My secondary hard drive failed. It's just- AAAAAUGH.
    I had to turn the slave option off, and out of 30GB of space on this hard drive, only 4GB of it remains.
    Sad, sad day.
    But at least I diagnosed the problem. All I need is a new circuit board for it (Usually runs about 40 USD). How I'll get the money for it is a another ordeal...
  4. Mellorious
    I mainly made this one for "G" rated, but decent, jokes I tend to find on the net. With this, I'll post the first one!
    [colour=#800000]"Smarter Than You Think"
    There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The
    owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the other boys would constantly tease him.
    They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a
    barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a
    dime, Johnny would always take the nickel -- they said, because it was bigger.
    One day, after Johnny grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said, "Johnny,
    those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know that the dime is worth more
    than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"
    Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face. Johnny said, "Well,
    if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it. So far I've saved $20!"[/colour]
    Source: http://www.mountperry.com/
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