Bellosh

Grubber was left speechless as Professor Applejack grabbed the hedgehog, put him up on the stand, and whispered words of encouragement. It was an odd feeling really; the last time any creature ever expressed earnest faith in Grubber was, who knows... back when the hippogriff rooted for him several minutes ago? But BEFORE then, such instances were few, assuming they even happened. Stormlanders by and large were a reserved, cynical lot.

But a result of that sort of upbringing was that with nobody putting real trust into Grubber, he never felt that failure and laziness led to genuine consequences. Sure, you could have tried being super successful in the Storm King’s regime instead... just go ask Strife and Tempest Shadow how “success” worked out for them! On the other hand, only putting minimal effort into tasks might not have won Grubber acclaim... but he got his grub regardless, and getting grub was the only thing that mattered in life anyway.

.....Or did it?

As Applejack’s kiss sent blood rushing to Grubber’s cheeks, the hedgehog strangely felt much more was on the line than at any point in his life. The runt disliked hard work, no doubt about that... but would he have the heart to let his professor down after she spoke those inspiring heartfelt words?

The hedgehog would have to answer the important questions of life on his own time. At the moment, Grubber needed to jump down and fetch his bushel of apples... which looked rather heavy for a runt like him to carry. But the diminutively-sized hedgehog would see it through! “Jutht you wait and thee, Profethor!!!” Grubber eagerly boasted as he walked off with his new fruit cache; “I’m TOTALLY going to have the betht homework grade next clath....!”

Sunburst largely agreed with Sunset Shimmer’s suspicions; that few of these shoddy artifacts (if any) could have been the work of somepony as great a sorcerer as Star Swirl the Bearded. That orb though seemed to be a different story, as Sunburst got a bit too careless with probing the item. “All I know is that I could detect how that orb has by far the strongest magical signature of anything else in Trixie’s collection.” It would have to be up to the stage magician to provide any other details.....

Aw dang, Grubber got hogtied into having the spotlight shined on him! “No prob, Profethor!” Although he was sweating from nervousness, the hedgehog hoped his fake enthusiasm would encourage Professor Applejack to move on to a more pleasant subject.

Unfortunately, Applejack’s rejection of storm bucks as a viable currency left Grubber in somewhat of a bind. “You gotta underthand,” he tried explaining; “I wath thoppothed to overthee the tranthition from bitth to thorm buckth, tho the Thorm King ordered a whole bunch of money to be delivered to Canterlot. All thothe buckth arrived, but then you guyth happened, there wath that big windthorm and the cake with the creepy parrot eye in it... long thory thort, at the end of the day, I wath left with a thhip load of thorm buckth!

Next thing I know, all my old homieth were mailing me their thorm buckth too!!! But everytime I try uthing buckth, nopony acceptth them! Like, I managed to corner thith banker dude one time, and he wath telling me all about exchange rateth and how thoppethedly one bit ith worth a quadrillion thorm buckth, which he then explained ith what happenth when countrieth abandon the gold thandard for fiat currency, or thomething like that. Point ith, everybody around here thinkth thorm buckth thuck, and I don’t know how to get rid of them..."

Grubber sighed dejectedly. “But I thoppothe if I really mutht.....” Five shiny bits now appeared in Grubber’s grubby paw, ripe for the taking.

“Uhh yeah, thure thure,” Grubber addressed his professor’s inquiry with an answer that some might have found vague and unconvincing. Those who knew the hedgehog best won’t find a more infamous procrastinator than he.

Payment was a far less awkward subject for Grubber. “OH OH OH,” he boasted; “I can do better than five bitth! I’ve got...” on cue, he suddenly produced a huge wad of numbered grey-colored notes adorned with an official portrait of the Storm King; “THTORM BUCKTH!!!” Ah… storm bucks; as far as Grubber knew, they still remained the official currency of the Stormlands and all overseas territories that were once incorporated into the Storm Armada’s jurisdiction. And unlike everypony else in Ponyville, a true believer of love and tolerance like Professor Applejack will surely accept this official currency as legit payment.....

Sunset Shimmer nodded attentively at Feng’s description of Empress Yù Yuè, which sounded like it was plucked right from the introduction of those princess fantasy novels where the author went a little too out of their way to make the main heroine sound as beautifully flowery as possible. Hey, that could be a second career for Feng if he ever retired from the Watchers; just something he should think about. Now then, Sunset didn’t need to be a love princess to understand how a bodyguard like her longma friend would naturally be drawn towards the qilin mare he was duty-bound to protect, even when-

Oh, look who showed up! “Glad you could make it, Yanhua!” Sunset greeted the newcomer; something seemed just the tiniest bit off with the chef’s voice, but Sunset wasn’t given much time to dwell on it before having to answer a question from Feng; “Uhhhh... I’ll have to check if she’d be down for that. Don’t forget, the Transition’s coming up soon, so Princess Twilight will be busy ruling over this whole kingdom...” Sunset made a sweeping gesture to place emphasis on all the land around them, land destined to very shortly become the domain of one Twilight Sparkle. “By herself, I must point out!”

With the possible exception of Professor Pie’s pastry-filled classes, Grubber was by and large a mediocre Friendship student whose biggest issue was not applying himself to put in the academic work. And nowhere was that glaring flaw more apparent than the classes taught by Professor Applejack, a notorious proponent for value of hard, honest work. You know, the one thing a slacker like Grubber tended to avoid at all costs.

But all of that was back in the classroom. Out here, Grubber was just another customer hoping to score some tasty treats! “Hi there Profethor Applejack,” the peppy hedgehog began his sweet-talking routine, hungrily eying the delicious fruits that for the moment were the apples of his eye; “You thure have a lovely apple orchard here! It'th got everything, like appleth... and more appleth!!”

Welp, so much for passing as a mere acquaintance. From here on out, Sunset Shimmer would have to assume that Twilight told all the Pillars about who she was. It was a thought both flattering and scary at the same time. What would Star Swirl the Bearded think of the one-time magic student? Did he know the story of how she dropped out of Celestia’s School? ...Was Sunset getting ahead of herself thinking about what’ll happen when she encounters the Father of Modern Spellcasting?

.....Yeah, she probably was. Time to get back to the here and now with Mage Meadowbrook!

“Well over there,” Sunset started explaining; “Nobody who works in healthcare brews their own medicines anymore. The gist of it is that you’ve got these giant pharmaceutical companies who mass-produce thousands upon thousands of clinically-tested drugs per day, and they charge whatever price they want due to their absolute control of supply and demand, and of course intellectual property law allows these conglomerates to do whatever the heck they want. So to actually get the pharmaceuticals you need, first you have to go to a primary care physician who is covered by your health insurance plan, because if you don’t, you incur a hefty bill after a trip to the office. And the health insurance company has to sign off on your prescription too, because the thing is that the health care providers can’t actually make any money if they approve every prescription, meaning oftentimes you’ll end up footing at least half the bill, and did I mention how expensive prescription medication can be? Oh and if you’re a human with chronic health issues or other pre-existing conditions, you can forget entirely about having a health insurance plan, because the insurance companies will lose too much money on you, and did I also mention how hideously expensive a trip to the ER is over there? This is why we need to-”

It was only now that Sunset noticed the ill ponies in every direction. “Uhhhh,” she quietly asked Meadowbrook, nervously glancing towards the sickly crowd; “Should we be concerned right now? Is Canterlot suffering some sort of freak viral outbreak today?”

Although Sunset Shimmer still didn’t speak a word to the rugged earth pony, her stare significantly softened when he apologized. As much as Sunset quickly got mad at folks who antagonized her, she was also relatively quick to adopt a forgiving attitude when warranted. After all, it wasn’t as if the Equestrian girl’s own past was entirely spotless.

…..Yeeesh! If Feng’s word was anything to go by, the whole imperial system of rule was a byzantine nightmare in of itself. Being an empress sounded more like being a hostage to competing interests. Since Sunset was not an expert in political science however, she stayed quiet on the subject for the time being. But she reciprocated Feng’s beaming smile upon his formal offer of friendship. “Oh, ABSOLUTELY!” Sunset euthestically replied, before a realization made her cheeks redden with embarrassment; “...Except now I wish I’d thought of asking Twilight for another set of magic journals for the two of us. It might be hard keeping in touch, otherwise.”

Sunset’s self-consciousness didn’t take long though to morph into mischievousness as the unicorn grinned wickedly. “...So NOW that our friendship is official..... time to spill the beans. Come on, Feng,” she elbowed the longma; “Tell me how your loooovely Empress is like! Who’s her name, anyway....?”

Sunset Shimmer would have used this opportunity to explain to Feng that speaking from her personal experience, first kisses weren’t the earth-shattering milestones there were cracked up to be. However, the stallion in front of Feng beat Sunset to the punch, which the unicorn mare wouldn’t have minded... if not for the rude unsolicited compliment the stranger felt entitled to send Sunset’s way! UGGGGGH, the sheer nerve!!!

Miss Shimmer had to put up with that crud from boys every week during her part-time gig at the Mall’s sushi joint. Thankfully no guy she knew from Canterlot High harassed her while on the clock; while she will always be immensely grateful that her classmates by and large no longer treated her with the uttermost fear, the Equestrian girl also appreciated how everyone there respected the  one clear personal boundary of Sunset’s to never cross. But with other unpleasant customers... Sunset basically had no choice but to smile and put up with catcalls and lame unoriginal “are you on fire?” pickup-lines or else lose her job and source of income.

.....But we’re in her world now, not that world, and no little stallion was going to disrespect Sunset Shimmer and walk-off scot free! Well, if he persisted further, that is. Not wanting to cause a scene just yet, Sunset merely shot the rude pony an unamused glare; her nonverbal way of telling him that if he wanted to brag about being a pig, he can go bug somepony else!

Once Sunset was reasonably satisfied that she and Feng wouldn’t be bothered further by the interloper, she continued their conversation from before, except speaking in a quieter tone to discourage the stranger from jutting in. “Take it from me,” offered the mare; “Forget any nonsense you’ve ever heard about the so-called “magic” of first kisses and true love. I’ve dated before, and I’m just going to tell you now that your first kiss WILL be all awkward and, when it comes down to it, unmemorable. My ex-boyfriend... he couldn’t put passion in a smooch to save his life!”

There were things Feng said earlier however that sparked a philosophical discontent within Sunset. “If you don’t mind me backtracking a bit though,” the unicorn’s voice became even more hushed than before; “This just may be culture-shock talking Feng, so please try not to take this too personally or anything...  but speaking as somepony who went mad with a lust for revenge and power during a dark time in my life, I know insecurity when I see it. Your Empress telling you that being a loyal Watcher means not being allowed to love ANYBODY ELSE? That has the stench of insecurity written all over it.”

“Look, I admit that I don’t actually know the Empress like you do... but I can’t help but think back to when I was Princess Celestia’s bratty apprentice. I remember always getting mad at her because it seemed like not a day went by without Celestia bugging me about how I needed to make new friends, or encouraging me to write a letter to my family back home that I disowned... or strongly hinting I should invite the new girl at school to the Saddle Hawkins dance.....” That last one came with a quick blush; “The point being that while I failed to appreciate it at the time, I can’t imagine AT ALL a Princess Celestia who didn’t encourage her subjects to find ponies to love and cherish. Just think about it: if our royal guard ponies weren’t allowed to be in relationships, then Princess Cadence wouldn’t have been able to marry Princess Twilight’s brother, and everything I’ve ever heard about him makes me believe he’s actually a stand-up guy!”

The mare rubbed the back of the neck as she apologetically smiled; “Sorry about the rant, but it’s just that hearing you’re not allowed to have family or relationships rubs me the wrong way.....”

Not one day after Iron Pony ended, and Sunset Shimmer had already gotten herself into another unplanned side-journey. It was only supposed to be a quick trip to Equestria to pick up a new magical journal so Sunset could keep in touch with her new unicorn pen-pal from anywhere within the Multiverse. But before leaving, the unicorn mare also decided to touch base with some of her other newfound acquaintances from half a world away.

One thing led to another, and Sunset Shimmer found herself showing Feng Yinhaitao the way to Sweet Apple Acres. On the way, the unicorn decided it would be interesting to compare the apples here to the ones her good friend grew back on her farm Over There. Although mildly annoyed at the long line today, Sunset decided to stick it out and keep her longma chum company in the meantime.

The mare looked at the fliers that seemed to fill Feng with dred... and dismissively snorted. “Really?” Sunset chided, rolling her eyes; “Does your Empress actually forbid her warriors from kissing ANYBODY?” This crush of Feng’s was starting to sound quite strange... and perhaps even misplaced. What sort of mare was this Empress truly, anyway?

Aiya, this was quite the... peculiar situation Empress Yuè had found herself in. A fox spirit, a being that has lived through more than a dozen mortal lifetimes, hidden amongst the very Imperial Court! Of that there was no doubt, as Yanhua’s modest foxfire demonstration was still most convincing. As a royal qilin expected to treat with the likes of the Wise & Noble Long, the Empress knew that Yao-Guai needed to be treated with the uttermost discretion, and without betraying the slightest bit of weakness.

Until it was prudent to believe otherwise, Empress Yuè had no choice but to assume that there more behind Yanhua’s unassuming words than she let on. After all, it seemed fairly uncharacteristic for a fox spirit to reach nearly 1,000 years of life and be content with the mundanity of cheffing. Not from all the tales and legends of trickery the Empress has ever heard.

“If you have managed to keep your true identity concealed for so long, venerable Yao-Guai,” Empress Yuè got right to the point, her gaze focused and unwavering; “Then what do you hope to gain from revealing your true self now? A resplendent creature of nature like yourself deserves not to be constrained by the boundaries of civilization.” Which was pretty much a face-saving way of saying that Yao-Guai and Long Sun don’t tend to mix very well. And every creature knew that even by Long Sun standards, the denizens of the Imperial Palace were extremely hostile to the thought of Yao-Guai in disguise walking around, free to weave mischief and mayhem.....

...Oh Twilight Sparkle, you poor naive pony.....

She still had much to learn about the art of seeing through Sunset Shimmer’s dismissive evasions. To think that it hadn’t crossed the princess’s mind that not every creature was going to have fond memories of her friend. Did Twilight forget how Sunset committed such grievous crimes in her past as backstabbing Princess Celestia, using stolen magic to transform into a winged demon, and having the personality of a one-dimensional mean girl stereotype?

And yet even if Sunset’s logical side wanted to chide Twilight for her brain fart, the unicorn mare’s sentimental heart basked in the warmth and fuzziness the alicorn provided so freely. See, emotional affection like this was the reason Sunset could never begrudge Twi for long, no matter what silly secret she felt like keeping on a particular day.

They always say that the eyes are the window to the soul... but the soul possesses language too, and its language is the Hug.

If Twilight’s bone-crushing embrace was anything to go by, it was that Sunset Shimmer was a fool for ever doubting that the intimate trust she gave her companion was equally reciprocated. It didn’t matter that the alicorn’s reasons for comforting Sunset’s feelings were based on an erroneous insight; the simple fact that she cared profoundly was enough to make the amber unicorn crack a smile...

.....And wince from the pain of constriction... and blush from the inherent awkwardness of being lifted into the air in a public setting. “Hey uhh Twi?” Sunset, blushing furiously, barely managed to choke out; “You DO realize other ponies can see us, right?”

One rather famous earth pony from history did in fact manage to catch Twilight and Sunset red-hoofed. Upon being released from Twi’s relentless grip, Sunset needed a moment to catch her before answering the wise Mage Meadowbrook; “Oh, I’m Sunset Shimmer!” The unicorn reflexively dusted herself off, attempting to play it cool while recovering from Twilight Glomping Syndrome; “I just happen to be an old acquaintance of Princess Twilight’s.....”

“Teehee, sorry Applejack,” Cadence apologized with a blush on her face; “Sometimes I forget that we alicorns are stronger than we look.” If anyone doubted that claim, they should go watch Princess Celestia arm wrestle. She won every time without ever breaking a sweat, even against Equestria’s mightiest stallions.

The Princess of Love devoured every picture of Zap Apple in the photo album, along with every story the colt’s mother provided. Like AJ, Cadence kept a large photo album stuffed with snapshots of her own precious kid, although she lacked the foresight to bring that thing with her to the ball. No matter; the alicorn will remember to bring her Flurry heart album to the next social function she goes to!

Taking a sip of her glass of illicit apple cider, the alicorn observed; “Huh, there doesn’t seem to be many photos of Zap with his other momma. I’d have thought YOU of all ponies would love showboating in front of an audience, Rainbow Dash.” She gave the Wonderbolt a knowing wink.

Cadence understood what Shining Armor was talking about and nodded. “Oh yeaaah... I don’t think he sent a reply back..... but that reminds me, there was THIS newspaper article I meant to show you earlier today!” In the same manner that she magically materialized the travel pamphlets earlier, Cadence now produced for her husband a Canterlot Chronicle headline from the World News section: “LONG GUO’S IRON PONY GIVEN A HERO’S WELCOME”. The story came with a picture of an able-bodied longma stallion standing with pride by the side of Long Guo’s regal qilin empress.

“Apparently,” the alicorn explained; “That longma guy who won this year’s Iron Pony was actually a rising star within the Imperial Watch. And as his reward, the Empress of Long Guo appointed that stallion her new Captain of the Palace Guard!” Cadence mischievously leaned in close to Shiny and teased in a low voice; “That means he’s becoming your new opposite number, my love, so I’d watch out if I were you, heh heh.” Cady playfully leaned in close to Shiny with the intent-

Ohhhhh, for pony’s sake! What was WITH IT with stallions and their need to be obnoxious showoffs??? Cadence glowered; Swift Squall’s stage-stealing antics made the mare recall one particular day back in her adolescent years, when a gentlecolt admirer of hers kept on asking the princess to listen to a song he wrote in her honor. Cadence had a foalsitting engagement she needed to get to so she didn’t have the time (or the interest, frankly) to listen. But the colt persisted in his insistence, right up until he snuck into the home Cady was foalsitting in, and continued to be a nuisance.

Princess Cadence finally had to lay down the royal law and tell the trespassing colt to get out of her sight. The stalker did as he commanded... but not before leaving the filly (and the foal, let’s not forget) a long, profanity-ridden rant about how girls like Cady were shameless harlots who teased with the affections of guys who only wanted to show how NICE and ROMANTIC they were. Pffft, yeah right. All that jerks like him cared about were stroking their big egos and being the center of attention.

.....In a certain respect, one could say the same held true for philanthropists. Not that Princess Cadence thought philanthropy in of itself was a bad thing, not at all, but she also remembered a certain maxim she had been taught in her princess lessons: “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” Thus when somepony comes and offers you a stupendous pile of bits out of the proclaimed goodness of their hearts, you had to be mindful that the truth was anything but.

And this truth: in nearly 9 cases out of 10, a rich pony donating vast sums of money is only doing so to buy influence and access for the future, or the juicy tax-writeoff... or even a better noble title than they had before! Or maybe there isn’t an ulterior motive for the generosity; perhaps the charitable rich pony merely has the need to have their munificence proclaimed by the press, to have auditoriums and streets bearing their name, to have crystal statues erected in their honor.....

They only want to show how nice and generous they are.

Witnessing Swift Squall hijack the romantic ball so he could play his cheesy, dated rock song only made Cadence feel less guilty about rejecting his money. Come to think of it, everything about her prior conversation with the Count started rubbing her the wrong way. Like, did Squall not think Cadence hired smart and able bureaucrats precisely so they could advise her on important policy matters? Or was it that Squall thought his opinion was SO OBVIOUSLY IMPORTANT AND PROFOUND compared to everypony else’s that he needed to solicit them at every opportunity, and bah humbug those who failed to recognize his genius and intellect?

GRRRRRRR..... A glowering Cadence was getting herself worked-up over fuming about Swift Squall... and that wasn’t the reason she came to the Ball tonight. Attempting to calm herself down, the alicorn contented herself by merely showing her displeasure with a pout and a turning of her head in the opposite direction from the stage.

Think happy thoughts Cady... think happy thoughts.....

Trixie’s entrance was cringe-inducing for all its unnecessary bombasticity... but meh, having a big ego was less of a crime in Sunset Shimmer’s book than being a manipulative blowhard. First things first: the artifacts. The glowing sphere was the first relic Trixie offered up, and Sunset commentated to Sunburst as she got off his desk; “I detected quite a bit of magic in that object when I inspected it earlier, so be careful when you look over it.” Indeed, the orb was the one object amongst the stage magician’s junk pile that gave off a pretty strong magical signature. Sunburst indicated he would save that one for last.

In the meantime, Sunset graciously accepted Sunburst’s offering of tea; “That’d be nice, thank you.” While she walked over to telekinetically pour herself a mug, the scholarly stallion looked at another of Trixie’s trinkets. When Sunset returned with her tea, she sat down at one of the chairs in front of Sunburst’s desk and took a sip of her drink. Mmmm... nice flavor to it.

“Trixie showed me a few about half an hour,” the amber unicorn explained as she set her mug on Sunburst's desk; “Basically, they alternated between working poorly... and working too well, if you get what I’m saying.....”