Dave247

Hi Dave247!

Looks like you've done a lot of work on this app, and overall, this app looks great!

All of the required fields are filled and it is well written.

The only thing I can see that could be a problem is in the history with the mention of blood implicating violence. I believe in the context of his story, it works but I'm not sure if Senior RP staff will agree.

Anyway, terrific job!

Thanks! That's understandable but I specifaclly set it up so that it impiles that the cut the young colt got was from the broken glass while he was escaping which is something I woulden't conider to be violent. What happened before then is completly unknown and uninportant to the backstory.

I could change it a little if need be though like trying to tone it down, like "the small amount of blood that was still coming from it,", but I feel that is needed for consistency and also plays a major part of what happens next. I've already tried to keep it toned down as possable so I'm not sure what else I could do...

The reason why I went with blodd to begin with was I needed something for my character to follow and that seemed like the most logical thing to use to me.

WELCOME TO CANTERLOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome, Aussie pony fan! I hope you have fun here, and our game is what you are looking for.

Hello! Howdy! Greetings! Salutations! Good day! Bonjour! Hola! Guten tag! Ni hao! Konichiwa! Welcome! How are you?

Boop! Beware the explosions.

Thanks everyone for the warm welcomes! I really appreacte it.

Welcome to Canterlot

Call me Cat!

I've always liked the sound of Australia, the Australian accent is cool!

Hey Cat! A lot of Americans i've talked to over Skype also seem to live the Australian accent but it's a first that i've heard someome from the UK say that. I think it's because I'm yet to talk to someone from there...

Hey hey, Dave. Welcome here. :3 So far, the RP scene does seem superior to MLP Forums. So there's at least that! Anyways, I hope you can have fun. So far, I'm having an all right time.

Hey Arylett! I've had a look around and I agree the RP scene does look a lot better. I'm glad to see that your also here and having a good time. Hopefully our paths will cross in a RP at some stage.

Awesome work!

The only thing I'd really change is the term "mana pool." That is a MTG term, and I'm not so sure magic in Equestria is described like that. I'd just change that to "abilities."

Other than that... There are a few typos. Occupation I think you meant "Investigator" not "investor" and "Heel spell" I think you mean "Healing spell." I'd just run through it for proofreading purposes.

But really, awesome job

Thank you! The typos I have fixed with the first one being to and incorect spell check and the secound was only something I added after orignally posting it so I must of missed it when I went over it briefly.

As for the mana pool that too was was a new part that was added and and that term just so happened to be the first thing I thought of and I did debate wherever to use it or not but I can see now it's not appropriate. "Magical ability" works much better.

Again, thank you very much for the feedback! I greatly appreacte it that others critique it as they concider or see other things that I woulden't myself.

Thank you both of you. Even though you are not offical RP helpers I still very much appreacte the feedback you have both given.

As for the name, that was a honest mistake and was quickly fixed

I've expanded on his magical ability, and set clear lmits on it as well. I agree just as in Read it and Weep healing bones is something that takes time despite magic, it's just one of those things. Normally though nones would take weeks or even longer to heal so shortening that to a few days with magic is a reasonable and fair trade off in my opinion. I don't plan on making him a doctor or anything, but I did think to add in how he study's a bit of first aid because that logically makes sense to me concidering everything. bascially whenever the need for healing or injuries come up I know to use common sense and keep within the abilites of the character. I know not to make him into som over powered mary sue character but it's hard with a character such as this because with a ability such as heal if everything isen't cleary stated there is room for interpritation and movement.

Also, about his age eairler on, I agree on that as well. Thanks to you pointing it out as I only just realised then I had bearly said anything about when he was younger which made it confusing. it's because in turn it expands on his backstory.

As for his Light spell, I have tweaked that a bit as well, as I too agree it is a very basic spell all unicorns can do so I figured I had to add something in there.

And finally for the shyness, I agree with that and also thinking back to pervious RP's I have been in it wasen't consistant with how I haveplayed the character so I have toned it down and bascially just expained it differantly. As I'm trying to be as detailed as possable without going overboard using the wrong words can give the wrong impression.

Again, thank you both very much for your feedback and critiques because as the creator I don't always think of absolutly everything when writing it all down.

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria

Name: Daylight

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion (Young Adult)

Species: Unicorn

Eye Colour: Mantis [colour=#74c365]#74C365[/colour]

Coat: Goldenrod [colour=#daa520]#DAA520[/colour]

Mane/Tail: Short, thick cream coloured mane and tail. [colour=#ffffcc]#FFFFCC[/colour]

Physique: Tall, skinny and lanky due to being a bit of a fussy eater.

Origin/Residence: Ponyville, then moved to Manehatten.

Occupation: Private Investigator. Mainly just helping other ponies with problems they have and receiving compensation for it.

Cutie Mark:

His cutie mark is a single source of light with many light rays shining out from it. It signifies his ability to use magic to light up dark areas with his horn, heal minor to moderate injuries however severely weakening him in the process. The longer and brighter he keeps his light spell on for the faster it drains his energy, just as using his healing spell instantly drains a lot of energy in one go. As time goes one though and Day matures, studies and develops he is able to become more skilled with his magic and knowledge and increase his magical ability thus enabling him to heal greater injuries to an extent.

As a colt growing up, Day had no idea what his special talent was but knew he got pleasure from helping other ponies with their problems so he decided to keep doing that hoping one day his cutie Mark would one day appear. He was able to cast a very basic light spell, but so could everypony else and so at the time, he did not think anything of that. It was during one task he agreed to do that he discovered his cutie mark. Day was walking around the streets of Ponyville at night trying to catch a thief who had stolen a valuable item from somepony, but he couldn't see very well because it was dark which made it very easy to lose track of the thief. He tired to use his basic light spell but it would only light up a very small area and last for a handful of seconds. He diden't want to tire himself out too quickly as he knew it required a lot of effort so he diden't use it that often. Day then heard glass shattering and ran off to investigate the noise. When he arrived at the scene, he was just in time to see a shadowy figure disappear into the darkness. He tried to chase after him but as it was too dark he was unable to keep up with the thief. Having lost his trail, Day was disappointed and also worried about failing not only his friend, but himself as well. It made him wish that there was a source of light so he could see well, and he was getting fed up at how useless his basic light spell was. Day then felt his horn tingle and spark as a bright flash of light erupted from it, temporally blinding him for a few seconds. When his eyes recovered he noticed that his horn was softly glowing a bright light that was consistant and not going out.

Now that the surrounding area was illuminated, Day noticed a slight blood trail where the thief must have cut themselves from the glass. He followed it along quickly to its end where he found a young colt curled up behind a building exhausted from running as well as slightly injured due to the cuts on his hooves he had received from the glass. As Day looked at the colt and could see the pain in his eyes from running on an injured hoof, as well as the fear of what Day would do to him now that he was discovered. He took pity on the thief, as he was just a young colt and reassured him it would be alright. Something would need to be done about his injury though if they were to go anywhere because he didn't have the strength to carry the colt himself. He could feel the effects of his Light spell already starting to take its toll.

As Day looked at the injury and the small amount of blood that was still coming from it, it was like he could just about feel the young colts pain himself. He then felt his horn tingle and spark again which gave him an idea. Day touched his horn to the injury and with a small flash of light it was instantly healed. Day staggered back after casting the spell, as it along with his light spell that was still active it had severely weakened and tired him. The young colt who was grateful to Day for being kind and compassionate to him gave him no trouble as he let Day escort him home.

As he was feeling very tried and weak from the night's events he went straight home to rest. It wasn't until the next morning when he was returning the valuable item to its owner did he notice that he now had a cutie mark when it was pointed out to him during their discussion.

History:

Daylight lent back in his office chair, with his feet resting against his desk while he sipped his morning coffee. He thought back to everything he did to get where he was now.

When he was a young colt, Day enjoyed maths although he wasn't very good at it. Problem solving was what he loved the most. He would sit and spend a lot of time; just on the one problem until he was satisfied he had explored every angle of it before moving on. He struggled at remembering his multiplication tables and formulas which made it in though increasingly difficult to solve the problems he was faced with as he progressed through school. This continued until he eventually gave up at maths as well as school altogether and decided to focus his attention elsewhere.

It was then that Day turned to the community. He had always liked helping other ponies and their never seemed to be an end to their problems. He grew up in Ponyville, befriending the townsfolk he helped with any problems that they encountered. At first, it was mainly just small and simple tasks like things went missing and simple disagreements between ponies. He got to know a number of them quite well because of this.

As time went on though, Day became dissatisfied with the slow life in Ponyville and felt there was more out there for him, so he decided to move to busy Manehatten when he matured into a stallion to further follow his idea of help solve problems for ponies. He decided to become a Private Investigator and rented out an apartment which would double as his office. He would pay the rent by the money from cases he solved which would also hopefully be enough also for food and sometimes a luxury as long as he kept busy solving cases. He also took up studying a bit of first aid on the side in his spare time as he figured it would be very useful considering his abilities.

After some time had passed, he had solved a lot of cases and was starting to become well known. Former clients he'd helped would sometimes recognize him when he walking though the city and thank him for all the good he was doing in the city. Although he wasn't rich he was happy because was doing what he loved and was helping other ponies and creatures at the same time.

He sat there, continuing to drink his coffee wondering what his next case would be. The monthly rent payment was coming up soon and he was starting to get desperate for something to happen. He hoped that whatever ever it is, would happen very soon. He thought about how he would like to go back and visit Ponyville one day as he was rather starting to miss the quiet little town with its simplicity and friendliness, but he doubted anypony would remember him there now.

Character Summary:

DayLight is a good pony. He always seeks to do what is right and just even when it means he has to go out of his way to do so. Furthermore, Day is determined that once he starts something he is passionate about he won’t stop until he sees it to its end. He is also brutally honest and will sometimes say things to ponies that is the truth and not realize that it hurts their feelings.

Additionally, Day is kind and friendly and is always willing to help others in need but at the same time, is afraid to step in due to him worrying that he'll do more harm than good. Usually he does though and things mostly turn out well and others are grateful for his help.

Day is also organized and is mostly neat and tidy but can be messy when he doesn't know where to put something and just places it in a pile with everything else.

Due to being socially awkward Day struggles to make friends and socialize in a group. He prefers talking one on one with somepony as it feels less threatening to him as he can have a more personal conversation with them.

Because of this he has little friends and while he enjoys his solitude at times, it gets lonely quite quickly which forces him to go and put himself out there and take risks which may or may not end up as a success.

There are times where Day's feelings will get in the way of decisions he makes.

If he becomes stressed due to being unable to make a decision about something, or just worrying about something too much in general, he relies on the assurance of others to affirm him and comfort him.

Most of them didn't have anything nice to say about me I bet, I went by the name firegazer there, just goes to show how spiteful and mean us Aussies can be, sad though. Especially the mod Sweetie Heart, not much of a sweetie if you ask me...

anyways, if you don't mind me asking, what part of Aus r u from?

Mmm... to be honest i woulden't know as like I said I only breifly browsed their forums a few times so i diden't really get that much of a impression of the place other then from that one topic. Also, I'm from Victoria like you! How much of a conidence is that!

Welcome to Canterlot Dave!

Derpy likes you already

Thank you very much! I have never seen this GIF before but I think is absoulty cute! But Derpy always is though

Hey there, and welcome to Canterlot. I certainly hope you find the kind of RPing scene you're looking for here.

Anyway, welcome again. I hope to see you around.

Thank you! I hope I do to.

Welcome to canterlot!!

Hi, welcome to Canterlot!

I believe I am acquainted with Ice Storm. From whence do you hail?

Thak you both of you! I reside in Australia, Victoria more specifacally. The same place CadeyrnFireWing is surpringly.

Greetings Dave; I've had the pleasure of making Ice Storm's acquaintance too. I approve of your choice for best pony, by the way.

Hello Bellosh! Ice sure is a popular pony isen't he? And yes, Twi is best. I feel indifferant about the rest of the 5.

Yeah, I didn't like Bronies Australia much, too much drama and circle jerks etc... Anyways once again Welcome, and sorry I typed Dace not Dave lol, sleep typing is not a good thing

Yeah, I know excatly what you mean. I found a topic on there saying some not so nice things about our local meet up group and I haven't visite since. Also the typo is perfectly fine, I do it all the time. When I type posts though I go a lot slower and are able to pick up my mistakes most of the time but on IMC like Skype I can be really bad sometimes

Yo, dave, glad to see that you could make it over here, Look forward to lots of interesting roleplays with ya here.

As do I Ice. I've really enjoyed RP'ing with you so far and it will be nice to do that in a differant enviorment.

Hi Dace, welcome to Canterlot. My I ask, was the site you were previously on called Bronies Australia?

No, it wasen't that site. I have visited there before but rarely go there. The stie I was referning to is MLP forums, which Ice is a part of as well which is how I met him. It's generally a good site but not so good for Roleplaying though as it's main focus is on everything MLP related and not so much RP'ing as this site is and the overall quality of the users in RP World is nothing to speak about. I tend to write rather long and descriptive posts compaired to most there so there isen't really a lot of RP's there that I would fit into.

Welcome to canterlot, hope you have fun

Welcome to Canterlot!

Hello Everyone! Thanks for the welcome! I'm glad to be here as I'm a part of hardly any communities so I thought it would be good to branch out a bit.

[colour=#4b0082]About Myself[/colour]: My name is Dave247 but you can call me Dave. I am 19 year old from Australia and have only recently gotten into RP gaming in the past handful of months having been intrigued about it and wanting to further my writing skills but also worried about how on earth I was to come up with a character. With some help I was able to create one and have been developing and expanding him ever since.

I have been ropleplaying on another MLP forum in the past few months but are looking for other sites as the general populace of that site is... not that skilled. Though I am currently in one RP in that site though that is rather demanding as it requires me to fit a specific role with my OC and write and follow the rather complex posts so I'm interested in this site so I can RP while relaxing and having some fun.

I haven't been in many RP's but the few I have have all had some theme to it so slice of life would be a nice change.

I also enjoy playing video games, mainly on PC and are looking into getting into programming this year.

[colour=#660099]How I found Canterlot.com[/colour]: A regular good friend from this site, Ice Storm recomended it to me as he feequents here often.

[colour=#6600cc]How I became a fan of MLP:FiM[/colour]: I was doing a course earlier this year that I ended up dropping out of, and there was another student there who was rather open about being a Brony and was been given a hard time because of it. I had never heard of MLP or anything to do with the sort at the time and what intrigued me the most was that when I talked to him about it he said he had already given the episodes to a few other students in the class. With curiosity getting the better of me I requested for him to give them to me too and when I went home and watched the first episode I instantly knew Twilight was my favorite. I was not convinced I was hooked on the show until watching a few more episodes though as by that point I knew there was no turning back

[colour=#6600ff]My favourite main cast pony/s[/colour]: Twilight Sparkle

I believe that's about everything... If anyone want to know more please don't hesitate to ask me