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VioletAllure

RP Certified
  • Posts

    25
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RP Characters

  • Main Character
    Mystery Veil

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Maple

Role Play Information

  • RP Ready
    Available

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  1. For me, It's 'helping Twilight win the crown'. Didn't think anything could knock out 'art of the dress', but it happened!
  2. In my headcanon.. once upon a time, they were an elite military unit. But as the centuries passed, and the need for such thing fell away, they became more and more parade and show oriented, and now are a still part of the Royal Army, but almost exclusively entertain.
  3. Bleary eyed and exhausted, Mystery Veil stumbled towards Donut Joe's, same as she did every (extremely early) morning. By habit, she grabbed the door's handle in her teeth, and pulled. The door remained stubbornly closed. She pulled harder. Still closed, the door smirked at her. (Or perhaps her sleepy brain was seeing things with the upturned, u-shaped, door handles.) She planted a hoof on the wall beside the door, bit down hard, and pulled, desperately, powerfully. Still the monstrous, mocking, mischievous, miserable door remained closed! Sagging in defeat, she slumped onto the ground, and let out a melodramatic, anger filled screech. The construction ponies tried to be discrete, but quite a few were laughing. One kindly, rugged looking stallion pointed towards the sign on the door, then in the direction of Donut Joe's temporary donut stand. With as much dignity as she could muster, Mystery Veil cantered towards the stand, tail held sheepishly between her legs. She walked up to the stand, dropping a few bits onto the hastily constructed stall. Voice clipped, but still trying to be polite, she spoke, "One donut. One.. pot of coffee. Please." She tried to smile, but failed, staring wistfully at the coffee on the other side of the stall.
  4. Edits made. Certainly didn't mean to imply she could use magic. Most of the lorebuilding was just me gushing to add colour, didn't mean to list it as fact, and I cleaned it up. (Changed the snobby thing too, but there are.. non-snobby ponies in Canterlot? ?)
  5. Sleepless was very good. But it was never about Rainbow dash, it was about Scootaloo, I loved that episode. All the episodes about the CMC members have been great since the end of season 2. (Hurricane Fluttershy had a very weird feel to me, like they wrote the RD parts for a different character, but then changed it for thematic purposes. We know this sometimes happens, Spike at your service was going to be a Rarity episode at one point)
  6. Hi. Love to have you here! Its 99% angst free. Sometimes muffins are serious business. Probably can't tell you where to watch this wonderful show, but YOU probably know the TUBE. If you catch my totally subtle drift.
  7. Before Heart's and Hooves day, I didn't like the CMC or any of their episodes, including appleblooms, but now I love the trio, and their episodes. Many of Pinkies episodes didn't fly for me on first watch, but now I like them. This unfortunately works in reverse as well for me. I've been slowing going off Rainbow Dash for a while, to the point where Wonderbolts academy is the only episode of Season 3 I've only finished one time.
  8. I'm trying not to be incredibly negative but.. its like getting kicked in the stomach, when you respond to a bump instantly, but no feedback has ever been given on the one edit I was asked to do.
  9. Formatting looks good to my untrained eye now. Theres on little bit where you use colt instead of filly. (History paragraph 3, line 1) You might be asked to expand on her like, dislikes or hobbies in Character summary. Maybe explain what the spells that helped her interact with others were in character history. (Sorry for being nitpicky, )
  10. I'm not a RPH, but wanted to offer my two bits You have a really engaging writing style, its very easy to picture what your describing. It would probably be best if you said you weren't close to your parents, not that you didn't know them. And ponies don't get bullied for being different in Equestria, (from reading the WOE guidelines, bullying victim is frowned upon as a character trope) Still, I had fun reading her, and hope you get to play her soon. ...
  11. I do. Should I drop the edited edition in here, or just want a like message using the insite mail?
  12. I know I'm hardly qualified, but logged on and this caught my eye. You tell a really fun story, and it feels like you've captured Luna's personality well. There are a number of niggling grammatical issues, especially in the history section, mostly to do with switching mid sentence between past and present tense, but a couple of places where pronouns get misleading. For instance, in history, sentence one, it would be better to say his eldest brother was destined to raise the sun, instead of his eldest brother being destined to raise the sun. (If you'd an editor, i'm bored, and not doing anything else right now)
  13. Life in equestria shimmers! Life in equestria shines! And i know for for absolute certain. That this app will be just fine!
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