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...Would you Believe it?


Thoth
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...Remember a while back when I told you about my Dad and Step-Mom thinking Bronies had to do with pedophilia and didn't want me to be any part of it?

Remember when I said they were clear and fine with it after talking to them?

Haha.

No.

What occurred last night assured me they haven't changed. I was talking to my 13-year old cousin, and he mentioned his girlfriend "watched My Little Pony". I was a bit surprised, but had known before (I had said "Derp" a month or so before, and he followed it up with "Derpy", and then "Derpy Hooves", citing his girlfriend for knowing about Derpy).

So, I began recommending he give the show a watch some time. I said it innocently, wanting to show him the same quality show I had grown to love. I said NOTHING about Bronies, and simply told him it was great that his girlfriend was a self-proclaimed Brony, and that he should watch the show some time. It was right around when I began to tell him when the show was on during the day that my Step-Mom entered the room.

She came in, DEAD-EYED at me, and told me:

"I heard what you said. You're in dangerous territory now."

Needless to say, I was a bit confused. I knew what she was talking about, but I still couldn't believe she had just said that. Did...she just yell at me for telling my cousin about the show?

But wait....IT GETS BETTER...

15 minutes later upstairs, my cousin goes to the bathroom. My Step-Mom then waltzes in, and tells me, and I quote:

"Don't fill your cousin's head with that Brony crap. And if you ever mention anything Brony-related again, you're going to be in BIG trouble..."

...I.....I don't know what to say...

I can't even ask you guys to send messages or anything at this point. My good friend and fellow-Brony and member Hayden (ChillzMaster on here) offered to come to my house and tell my Dad and Step-Mom like it was, but I knew that'd make things worse.

I don't know why she hates Bronies. I don't know why she won't allow me to BE a Brony. I don't know why she can't accept it like my Mom has so well.

My mom has let me go to BronyCon, make great friends because of it, buy merchandise purely because I was a Brony, and has supported me through all this. She even told me she wouldn't blame me if I never talked to my Step-Mom again...

...Guys, while I can say I feel sour about it...I don't want my family torn about this because I'm a Brony...it will hurt everyone around me, but mostly me. I can't help but feel I tearing stuff apart because of this... :-(

I'm begging you guys...begging not just to send messages this time...because that doesn't work, apparently. My mom and I thought we proved it to them that Bronies were great people. I can simply tell them that too, but I'm sure they don't want to hear about my "Brony crap"...

...which is why I'm asking that you find some sort of way to spread this. This is not me crying for attention. I'm crying out for help, because I want to show my Step-Mom and Dad that being a Brony is sinful. I want to be able to show the same show that has shown me the magic of being a better person, and what the ideals of friendship can learn. If I can't tell my cousin, who has HAD trouble in his life, about this excellent show that helped me out of a rut in my life, then what can I do? :wail:

I'm asking you, fellas...to get this to far reaches. Get the biggest supporters around on this story. People related with EqD or...heck, someone like Tara or...I DON'T KNOW! I'm bawling my eyes out right now because I don't want to hate my family members! I love my Dad and Step-Mom! I don't want to hate them! But if myself, my mom, a whole forum can't prove that to them, then I NEED the biggest support I can get!

...I just need help, guys....I seriously need some help... :sniff:

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Interesting. I'm not sure if your idea will work, as even a "big name" in the brony world only means as much to someone in the know. Since I doubt your parents know who's who, they could bump into Lauren Faust or Tara Strong in the market and not know the difference (or care).

What do I think you should do? Relax and take an observant stance. If your parents want you to keep the brony thing to yourself, I would probably do so to protect the peace. It's not really your job to try to "convert" everyone in your life, even people you think may really enjoy it. Perhaps that is what has your step mom in a tizzy. Don't freak out or try to martyr yourself -- just calm down and try to think inside the chimney.

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My deal here is that my Step-Mom doesn't want me to MENTION My Little Pony. She clearly thinks it's a THREAT for me to even mention it to my cousin, as if it'd corrupt his innocence!

Even then, I had no intent to convert him (I really don't like that term...), I simply told him he should watch it some time. My Step-Mom acts as if I'm asking him to partake in a drug! I understand if she doesn't LIKE the idea of Bronies, but my problems are:

1) She doesn't want me to even MENTION it

2) She tells me not to "fill his head up" with it. That sends to me that she thinks it's a bad thing and that I'm a BAD INFLUENCE for mentioning the show

3) She calls it "Brony crap". I'm sorry, but at least my Mother RESPECTS MY INTERESTS. My Step-Mom clearly doesn't care what she steps on here.

I understand that this is odd, and I understand a parent shouldn't like it. I never EXPECTED my parents to like the idea of it. However, I'm most insulted by the fact that she clearly still thinks the Brony fandom is BAD, even after we proved to them it wasn't. I'm lost because I don't know why she finds it so hard to LISTEN and realize that we aren't bad people. I don't know WHEN she's going to listen, but she sure isn't!

I just...lose my mind when things like this happen. What irritates me most is that now MY MOM is developing hatred for them, and I just can't deal with this! All I want is to freely be a Brony, and for them to ACCEPT it. Love and Tolerance is what we run on, correct? If we supposed "bad people" can tolerate, why can't she?

Heck, I noticed that she doesn't even want to LOOK at my Brony wallet. She PHYSICALLY TURNED IT UPSIDE DOWN to not look at it! This is ridiculous! I thought I was blowing it out of proportion when I first saw it, but now I realize she hates Bronies!

I mean...I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. The best I can say that, for right now, I'm not talking to my Step-Mom. I just don't know.

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Now I don't know if this would work for you, bvut what I do in these situations is just to drop it.

Not being a brony, just do what roise said and relax. You're expecting the worst case scenario. There still your family and their going to love you at the end of the day. A family isn't a proper family if you don't have a fight. My mother hated the fact I watched Saw movies. She hated it more when I wen't to get a replica of Freddy Kruegers claw. Now she just accepts that I sleep in the same room as a serial killers weapon. I don't try change her, and she ain't gonna change me.

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Not to play heavily as the devil's advocate, but I think you should respect your step mom's wish to not share pony with your cousin, even if you don't agree with the reasoning. If your cousin likes it, they can make the choice to continue liking it without your influence, which is better than putting your neck out for no reason and only strengthens your personal argument without you having to actually do anything.

Does that make sense? :shock:

As I said before, just relax. Zealotry will not win the day on this one -- parents are very particular about how and what their children are exposed to. Even if you don't agree with it, I think you should respect it. As you may be a parent one day, I hope you can look back and see this perspective and understand the gravity of what I am saying here.

Bonus game: Take this point of view to your step mom, present it to her, and apologize. If you advocate with her, I think she'll withdraw her rancor, and you may earn enough of her trust to get your pony on at a later date.

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As much as I'd LOVE to meet your step-mother and your father to talk to them, I'd have to agree with Rosy here. Granted, I'm not sure if anyone knows what will corrupt whom, but hey they can think what they will. She is probably intimidated by the shifting paradigm of gender norms. Bronydom is doing that shifting of gender norms, which is a good thing, but it frightens a lot of people. That is perfectly fine, and you should respect her wishes. You can't change her mind, nor should you try. You suggested it, your cousin has the internet. If he wants to watch he will watch.

You have the thread on why the community is good, but in the end, if that doesn't (or didn't) do anything, just sit back, relax and take life as it comes. Nothing bad will come if you handle it like a mature adult. But overreacting will achieve nothing good. You have the power to be your own person, and that will only increase as you get older. Don't let your step-mother stifle your individual growth, but don't give into anger either. Be your own person do your own thing, but adhere to your step-mother's wishes whilst you live with her.

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She sounds like a close-minded fool at this juncture. Yet, what she has asked you to do doesn't require any large changes. Just don't talk about it with your cousin and don't bring it up. If someone asks, you answer honestly, but you don't have to be proactive about it when she is this dead set against it.

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When people have a prejudice they will not see for reason, but rather they will see only with hate. Your parents problems stem far deeper than discontent for a television show. My best advice for you is simply to keep it a secret. Alternatively you could say 'I don't tell you what to watch so please don't tell me what I should watch' or if they badmouth the show just say 'hey that's good coming from a person who's never even watched it'.

You could get the support of the world and your parents would remain unshaken from their foundations, the only person who can make the temple of hatred and bigotry fall from your parents is you. If you try to destroy the building from the bottom, be careful that it does not fall on top of you, it would be far better to start chipping at the pieces from the top and make your way down. Please note, that those who didn't volunteer to join a war often lived through it.

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I really don't know how to help with this... The only advice i can give would revolve around her head firmly implanted in her rear end with no chance of prying it out...

If she won't listen, she won't listen. If she thinks it's sinful, she'll continue to think it's sinful. If she doesn't like it, she'll never like it...Thats just how people are sometimes... The only thing i can think of would be to take a final stand... stand your ground, tell her that she should be a supportive mother, that she should love you for who you are... and if she can't... welll... It's hard for you to love her if she won't love you...

It's harsh, yeah... And i dont think i could do it myself... but frankly it's all i can think of... everything else hasn't worked, so i can't imagine the same strategy with her...

Unless we can get someone who your step mom knows and recognizes as a popular figure to say something nice about bronies, nothing will change... She doesn't happen to know Howard Stern? you could show her his tweet about being a brony... Otherwise, we would need someone who she knows to support bronies for her to EVER consider bronies as being good people...

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I really don't know how to help with this... The only advice i can give would revolve around her head firmly implanted in her rear end with no chance of prying it out...

If she won't listen, she won't listen. If she thinks it's sinful, she'll continue to think it's sinful. If she doesn't like it, she'll never like it...Thats just how people are sometimes... The only thing i can think of would be to take a final stand... stand your ground, tell her that she should be a supportive mother, that she should love you for who you are... and if she can't... welll... It's hard for you to love her if she won't love you...

It's harsh, yeah... And i dont think i could do it myself... but frankly it's all i can think of... everything else hasn't worked, so i can't imagine the same strategy with her...

Unless we can get someone who your step mom knows and recognizes as a popular figure to say something nice about bronies, nothing will change... She doesn't happen to know Howard Stern? you could show her his tweet about being a brony... Otherwise, we would need someone who she knows to support bronies for her to EVER consider bronies as being good people...

I really have to disagree with this, Foxy. She's asking him not to talk to his cousin about pony. That's it. This has nothing to do with support or love (plus the added complexity that Thoth isn't her biological child), so in this instance I think it would be better to just step back, chill out, and respect her wishes. He's free to continue enjoying pony. There's no reason to turn it into a struggle of will when it's not a big situation in the first place, and there's really nothing to prove without causing a big problem for Thoth. Martydom is going to fall on deaf ears in this situation -- one that is thoroughly preventable by choosing to back off for the time being.

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I really have to disagree with this, Foxy. She's asking him not to talk to his cousin about pony. That's it. This has nothing to do with support or love (plus the added complexity that Thoth isn't her biological child), so in this instance I think it would be better to just step back, chill out, and respect her wishes. He's free to continue enjoying pony. There's no reason to turn it into a struggle of will when it's not a big situation in the first place, and there's really nothing to prove without causing a big problem for Thoth. Martydom is going to fall on deaf ears in this situation -- one that is thoroughly preventable by choosing to back off for the time being.

sorry, but i still gotta stick to my guns here... This is a bigger issue than that... He's a brony, this is a big part of his life, and she is condemning him for trying to share his interests with other people... Say you like to draw, drawing is your passion... But when you try to show your friends your work, you parents snatch it from you, ball it up and toss it away while saying "Keep this fitlth away fro mother people"

That's the impression i'm getting from this story... her telling him not to talk about bronies is just the tip of a much larger issue that needs to be resolved, or else it will grow into something bigger than he can handle... Eventually he's either going to have to stand up for himself or he's going to have to give up being a brony... That's the only thing i'm seeing here... Ignoring it will only give her the strength to finally push him away from what he loves...

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sorry, but i still gotta stick to my guns here... This is a bigger issue than that... He's a brony, this is a big part of his life, and she is condemning him for trying to share his interests with other people... Say you like to draw, drawing is your passion... But when you try to show your friends your work, you parents snatch it from you, ball it up and toss it away while saying "Keep this fitlth away fro mother people"

That's the impression i'm getting from this story... her telling him not to talk about bronies is just the tip of a much larger issue that needs to be resolved, or else it will grow into something bigger than he can handle... Eventually he's either going to have to stand up for himself or he's going to have to give up being a brony... That's the only thing i'm seeing here... Ignoring it will only give her the strength to finally push him away from what he loves...

The problem is parents DO do that, all the time (granted not with friends, but with their work in general). And there are many ways to deal with it, however directly opposing them almost never works with stubborn people, which this step-mother seems to be. If you directly oppose them, they have ways to make your life miserable. The best case scenario in what you suggested is that the parents buckle and you win and you get to be who you are without consequence. The worst case is they take away privileges, become more strict and punish you for basically no reason, other than you opposing them. There are ways to block access on the TV and computer and internet if they take the time to learn how. It can basically backfire completely.

Keeping things to yourself is how many people deal with issues like this. They know he enjoys it, and they let him enjoy it, albeit not happily. Pushing the matter won't fix anything, at least not in this situation, not the way I'm reading it. If he keeps it to himself as they requested, nothing bad will happen. He told his cousin once, his cousin probably has seen ponies on the internet (lets face it, at this point, they are everywhere), if he is interested he'll seek it out. Troth doesn't need to push any further with his cousin. So respecting his step-mother's wishes shouldn't be difficult. And he is still open to talk to his friends about it, because parents can't really do much with friends unless they approach them or they come over.

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Rosewind and Star Swirl are right, in the end when you think about all of this from an objective outsider perspective, family is far more important that any geeky fandom, interest, and/or show you be a huge fan of. As much as you love FiM and perhaps the fandom, in the end you should respect your family's particularities about what your young cousin is or is not going to be exposed to in the media. Sure it sucks, and yes their opinion on the show and the fandom are likely very skewed either through rumors or the media, but for whatever reason they feel FiM is off the table for your younger relatives and since they're the ones raising these kids, they have that final say.

The truth is there is always a large segment of society that deems any geeky fandom: Sci-Fi, fantasy, anime, furry, trekkies, bronies, pokemon peeps, table top gamers, MMO gamers, Sonic fans, whatever, as "weird" and "deviant" (deviant meaning out of the social norm, which is true in essence) and want nothing to do with them, have their own perception of them, and even want their kids not exposed to them. Just continue on being a fan, there is no reason to attempt your favorite things upon your family, it will only cause strife and harden their position. Your cousin, if he has the interest, will likely discover on his own, but as it is, because of his age, his life (including his online and media exposure) is under the control of his guardians. Continue being a fan on your own, being part of the community, building friendships, just avoid the topic with family. Sure it would be cooler if they all accepted it, but not everyone in your life will accept what you do or are into, especially if they are some geeky, "deviant" sub-group, that is just how life is. At least your biological mother is supportive so it isn't as if there in no one in your family.

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Swirly and Brian rebounded with pretty much everything I would have said. In addition, I'd like to add that we are not sure what Thoth's relationship is like with his step mother, so there is far more complexity behind this situation than we may realize. The status quo to me right now is that he is allowed to enjoy pony, but he is not welcome to share it with his cousin. That seems very reasonable to me. It may be ignorant of the mother, but it's still her wish that her son be left alone from it, and it would be wise to respect that.

To give this another point of view, how do you think a Catholic mom would react if you approached her son and tried to introduce him to Judaism? While you would be within your rights and you may think you are doing a good thing, do you think his family would appreciate it? You are, of course, free to follow whatever religion you wish, but the family's traditions and culture are set with something else, and trying to introduce anything else to their son without their consent would be very rude. I know this example is more extreme, but I think it's a good point of respectfully backing off when someone is not interested in what you have to offer, which in this case with pony, is clear.

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The problem is parents DO do that, all the time (granted not with friends, but with their work in general). And there are many ways to deal with it, however directly opposing them almost never works with stubborn people, which this step-mother seems to be. If you directly oppose them, they have ways to make your life miserable. The best case scenario in what you suggested is that the parents buckle and you win and you get to be who you are without consequence. The worst case is they take away privileges, become more strict and punish you for basically no reason, other than you opposing them. There are ways to block access on the TV and computer and internet if they take the time to learn how. It can basically backfire completely.

Keeping things to yourself is how many people deal with issues like this. They know he enjoys it, and they let him enjoy it, albeit not happily. Pushing the matter won't fix anything, at least not in this situation, not the way I'm reading it. If he keeps it to himself as they requested, nothing bad will happen. He told his cousin once, his cousin probably has seen ponies on the internet (lets face it, at this point, they are everywhere), if he is interested he'll seek it out. Troth doesn't need to push any further with his cousin. So respecting his step-mother's wishes shouldn't be difficult. And he is still open to talk to his friends about it, because parents can't really do much with friends unless they approach them or they come over.

I still don't think that's going to work... If you give her an inch, she'll take a mile...

"Don't talk to your cousin about this"

"Okay"

"Now i dont want you wearing that stuff in public"

"Okay"

"Now i dont want you talking to your brony friends"

"okay"

"Now i dont want you watching the show period"

"Okay..."

It's only going to get worse unless he stand his ground... she'll take one thing at a time until he has nothing left... I dont mean for him to directly oppose her, he just has to stand his ground, Tell them this is who he is and the should respect that, which they obviously do not... Doing nothing and ignoring the situation will only give her more power to continue pushing until he has nothing left...

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The problem with that assumption, Foxy, is that we can't be sure she's going to act that way and slowly abolish all pony. Right now her command for Thoth to leave her son alone is not unreasonable. If any further decrees come along that are unreasonable, and threaten his involvement and enjoyment of pony, then it would be a good time for Thoth to stand up for himself.

It's said a closed mouth gathers no foot. Taking a passive stance for now is probably the wisest choice Thoth can make.

Speaking of Thoth, what does Thoth think of all this discussion? He's been quiet in this thread since the OP.

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You never assume things like that. Going against her wishes will demolish trust. You can stand up to parents when they have trust in you, if they don't have that then nothing will work and you'll only solidify their position because they will think its deviant or wrong (even when it's not).

I have stood up to my mother on MANY things that I have done. When she questions it, all I need to say is "Have I ever done anything to breach your trust or anything that I haven't thought through?" Her answer is always a resounding "No." And thus she lets me continue unabated. It is easy for me because I have EARNED that trust. I've gotten to the point where if I do something, I can literally tell her "Don't worry about it, its not your concern." And she'll drop it.

However it took me many years to get to that point and it is little things like doing as your parents request that allow for that trust to be built. Unless it is something completely unreasonable and you can bring up reasons why you should be allowed to do certain things, otherwise its best to just go along with their wishes.

BTW, Your argument is known as "the slippery slope," and is a very bad argument because it makes assumptions on the path something will take without actually knowing anything.

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I've got to agree with Brian here; at the end of the day, it's a television show. Not a religion, not a dogma, not a heritage. Sometimes it's best to keep something as insignifigant as this to oneself, if only because there's no realistic reason to spread it.

It doesn't sound like she's planning to push it further, because once again, it's a TV show that you like. How could she possibly be against that? If she has a stigma against boys watching girlish shows, she may not want her son being "inducted" into liking it. As much as mindsets like those bother me, it's understandable, and perhaps you should just not bring it up around her unless she infringes on your ability to participate.

From what I understand, she's not really hurting you or your ability to enjoy the fandom yourself, so why bother taking action?

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I understand,, and i dont mean for him to just outright run up to his step mom and tell her to shove it, But We've already seen him post once about them having issues for no reason, and now he's posting again that things are STILL wrong... yeah, he talked to them about it, but apparently there are still underlying issues that need to be resolved... My concern is that he'll come back and post again about issues... and again, and again....... and then he'll stop posting all together......

The moment has passed, so there's no need to take action... but I'm saying that next time the issue is brought up he needs to stand up for himself...

And no, it may not be a religion, but it's certainly not jsut a show anymore... This is a community of generally wonderful and nice people who generally believe in treating others properly. and to try and take that away is a horrible thing to do... Like if your mom forced you out of boy scouts because she doesn't like how they dont like gays in their group.... It may not be a religion, but it is a big part of life. I wouldn't have met some amazing people because of MLP and the thought that someone who is ignorant to what Bronies stand for is trying to take that away... It's very bothersome to me... I've met a lot of awesome people and enjoyed plenty of wonderful material from the community and i dont think i'd give it up for the world...

I understand the whole 'slippery slope' thing isn't a good argument... but it DOES happen...

"First they came for the communists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew."

Then they came for me

and there was no one left to speak out for me

Yes, using a Holocaust poem may be a bit extreme... but the point i'm trying to make is that at some point you HAVE to put your foot down. Sure telling him that talking to his cousin about this isn't completely outrageous, but it's obvious she is VERY much against bronies, (I mean if she walks into the room and CANNOT leave without flipping his brony wallet over, there is obviously something wrong here) And i'm sure she will continue to push her opinion on him

now i want to reiterate, taking action NOW would be silly... the moment has passed, nothing you can do... but at SOME POINT, if she keeps forcing her ignorant will upon you, you gotta take a stand... I know confrontation sucks, and it could end up hurting things... but doing nothing will only make you sadder...

I've given my opinion now, and i dont think i'll be swayed much by others on this particular issue... So i think this'll be my last post in this discussion... Whatever you choose to do, man, i only hope for the best...

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I understand,, and i dont mean for him to just outright run up to his step mom and tell her to shove it, But We've already seen him post once about them having issues for no reason, and now he's posting again that things are STILL wrong... yeah, he talked to them about it, but apparently there are still underlying issues that need to be resolved... My concern is that he'll come back and post again about issues... and again, and again....... and then he'll stop posting all together......

The moment has passed, so there's no need to take action... but I'm saying that next time the issue is brought up he needs to stand up for himself...

And no, it may not be a religion, but it's certainly not jsut a show anymore... This is a community of generally wonderful and nice people who generally believe in treating others properly. and to try and take that away is a horrible thing to do... Like if your mom forced you out of boy scouts because she doesn't like how they dont like gays in their group.... It may not be a religion, but it is a big part of life. I wouldn't have met some amazing people because of MLP and the thought that someone who is ignorant to what Bronies stand for is trying to take that away... It's very bothersome to me... I've met a lot of awesome people and enjoyed plenty of wonderful material from the community and i dont think i'd give it up for the world...

I understand the whole 'slippery slope' thing isn't a good argument... but it DOES happen...

"First they came for the communists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew."

Then they came for me

and there was no one left to speak out for me

Yes, using a Holocaust poem may be a bit extreme... but the point i'm trying to make is that at some point you HAVE to put your foot down. Sure telling him that talking to his cousin about this isn't completely outrageous, but it's obvious she is VERY much against bronies, (I mean if she walks into the room and CANNOT leave without flipping his brony wallet over, there is obviously something wrong here) And i'm sure she will continue to push her opinion on him

now i want to reiterate, taking action NOW would be silly... the moment has passed, nothing you can do... but at SOME POINT, if she keeps forcing her ignorant will upon you, you gotta take a stand... I know confrontation sucks, and it could end up hurting things... but doing nothing will only make you sadder...

I've given my opinion now, and i dont think i'll be swayed much by others on this particular issue... So i think this'll be my last post in this discussion... Whatever you choose to do, man, i only hope for the best...

Alright! Godwin's Law has been satisfied! Argument over.

Edit: Also, please don't discuss WWII with me, lest you want me to get into that argument and go WWII nerd on you. Really it's not a pretty sight for those on the receiving end. There was much more to that war than most people even realize. And far more to Hitler and his actions (as stupid as they were) than most people even care to think about. I've read more literature on the subject than I ever cared to, and seen pictures that should not have been taken ever. (Which started with smaller books and I have read everything up to and including Rise and Fall of the Third Reich) And btw, that isn't slippery slope since it was easily predicted. It is just that no one really cared to do anything. In fact the whole of WWII were analysts going "oh don't worry, they'll stop when they had enough" Which obviously never happened hence that famous quote "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing".

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The issue Starfox is that you are making presumptions as to her future course of action. "She doesn't like bronies and doesn't want him talking to his cousin about it" is far removed from, "SHE IS GONNA FORCE HIM TOO STOP IT ALL ZOMG". She isn't stopping him from being him. She is trying to stop him from spreading something she doesn't like amongst her family, which is within her right as a parent. As someone who picked one very important battle with his parents that resulted in him getting kicked out on his ass sixteen, I can tell you that picking a fight over something as trivial as her current request is a very bad and utterly illogical idea. Period.

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