When All Else Falls: The Arrow Plain Story - Poem [FINISHED]

[Hippo]

Author's Note:

The style of this poem-story uses flashes and previous memories to help the story along. This use of parallels is ideal for story telling, but can sometimes confusing to read. To prevent any confusion, the flashback parts will be italicized. Please provide as much positive and negative feedback as you wish.

It was a peaceful night in Appleloosa and the stars would glow with pride.

Many of the pony folk had already gone inside.

A tiny foal in an upstairs window was seen making a prayer.

Once she saw a falling star, it made her want to declare.

"Oh please, oh please, you mighty sky, please give me purpose that I may soar.

Across the heavens and in midair, my wish is to be with the clouds once more."

And as that tiny unicorn foal drifted off to sleep,

She had lovely pony dreams that reminded her of her experiences deep.

The sun was blazing like a fire suspended in the sky.

The ground was battered with an intense heat, drying it up with temperatures high.

When a sweating herd of buffalo stampeded through the plain,

The herd leader noticed something and shouted, "Stop running in this domain!"

As the dust cleared and the buffaloes crept near, a unicorn foal appeared.

Lying helplessly on the desert floor and inconspicuously looking to be spared.

The buffalo grabbed the unconscious pony and let it ride on their backs.

It wasn't until they took her to camp, that she arose from her dehydration attack.

"Arrow Plain, breakfast is ready!" A pony's voice yelled up the stairs.

Into a little foal's room and woke her sleepy head up, with little care.

"I told you, Mrs. Trails, I don't like that name, it's embarrassing to me.

Just call me by my nickname that my friends and teachers use: Arpy."

"Oh, I love your name," the mare said as she served the foal some fruit.

"You know how special your name is, how you got it, you know it's cute!"

"Yes, Mrs. Trails, I know how I got the name, but it's not who I really am."

The foal unconvincingly ate some fruit as she remembered when it came.

"I think we should raise her, sir, she doesn't have parents or any place to go."

"So be it," The chief said to his counselor, concerning the future of this new foal.

"But what should we call her, Chief? Let me choose a name for her!"

After the young bull thought for a moment he proclaimed, "Got it! How about Little Yellow Fur?"

The Chief looked at him blankly and insisted on something better instead.

"We found her in the plains and it seems to have an arrow lodged in her head."

The younger bull yielded to his masters better ideas. He dare not complain.

The Chief proudly announced just then, "She shall be forever called: Arrow Plain."

The little foal ate the fruit her guardian put out on the table.

When she looked up at the front door, she saw her two friends yell as they were able.

"Common, Arpy!" Jonagold said. "We'll be late for school!" Nova added.

Arrow quickly got her bag and stumbled slightly towards the door she was headed.

Mrs. Trails stopped her and reminded, "Be a good filly today."

"I will," Arrow responded as her eyes rolled up and away.

The three young ponies trotted quickly down the dusted main road.

As Arrow looked up, she got a glimpse of a flying bird that she so much adored.

A young learning filly walked into Chief's tent and asked.

"Tell me again the story about when the tribe found me half-dead."

The Chief sighed as he couldn't resist telling the pony's miracle.

For he knew such amazing story, if not seen with own eyes, is not so believable.

"We found you lying in the desert, with no food, no water, no care.

It is our belief that somehow you fell from high in the air.

Maybe someday, you will learn to fly up to the distant clouds.

Then, and only then, can your true purpose in life be heard inside aloud."

During the day at school, Arrow listened to her teacher talk about trying new things.

When the kids were released for recess, Arrow began talking to a younger colt with wings.

"You're a pegasus pony, right? Why aren't you flying around?"

Little Skyward replied, "Because my tiny wings aren't strong enough to lift me from the ground."

"Nonsense!" Arrow scolded, "We need to get you into the sky where you belong.

If I was you, I wouldn't waste my time. I would be flying up and around all day long."

Arrow helped a doubting Skyward up on top of the schoolhouse roof.

And with one large yelp, Skyward was pushed off the building by Arrow's left hind hoof.

A panicked Arrow swings and flails her hoofs from side to side desperately,

As she falls from a cliff that borders the buffalo's main campsite closely.

'What was I thinking?' she thought to herself in the short moments that she hovered.

And other millions of regretful thoughts swarmed her head as her immediate danger was discovered.

A few eternal seconds later, her legs made first contact with the ground below.

Creating a convincing cracking sound that came from just beneath her elbow.

Smashing the ground front-hooves first, she cried a small whimper of pain.

Her own adventurous attempts at flying off cliffs was her only thing to blame.

A guilty-faced Arrow sits in the mercy of the schoolhouse teacher's office.

"What were you thinking Arrow? Your actions lately have become more and more lawless.

I called your parents in to take you home, and I'm suspending you for the day.

And I forbid you to talk to your adventurous friends who give you this desire for foul play."

The teacher reminded, "Be fortunate that haystack was there to break Skyward's fall.

Any time somepony gets hurt because of a stupid game, it ends up no fun at all."

Arrow defended, "That's not fair! You can't keep me from seeing my friends, can you?"

"I'm sorry Arpy," she replied, "But there is nothing else I can think of for you not to do."

"Where are you taking me?" Arrow Plain asked the Chief as he carried her towards

Large amounts of earth ponies building a new rustic civilization with several boards.

"Hush, little one," the Chief commanded as he ran to a building while ponies stare.

"Sheriff Silverstar, this injured foal is way too much for us to bear."

Later that day, Arrow was scared, not knowing what was going on, questioning her safety.

"Now listen here, I want you to meet my friends," a random mare said so vaguely.

"Mr. and Mrs. Trails are good pony folk, they would love to give you a home."

The Trails' fawned the cute foal in a sling; it was the end of her days with the Buffalo's roam.

A disciplined Arrow drags her hooves through the dust of the Appleloosan dirt.

Her foster parents just in front of her glared with disappointment that the filly could have been hurt.

"When we get back home, you're going straight to your room, and staying there for the night.

You need to think about what you've done and understand that what you're doing isn't right."

The young blank flank filly hung her head low and pouted along the way.

When she got home, there was no ifs, ands, or buts, she was ordered in her room to stay.

Arrow threw a tantrum in her room but stayed quiet enough as she was told.

And then she remembered about the item she kept under her pillow, a horseshoe that gleamed with gold.

Arrow trotted happily into Mr. Tumbleweed's general store.

The old stallion's shop was the only convenience that early Appleloosans had before.

"Hey Mr. Tumbleweed, watcha selling today?" Arrow asked him friendly.

"Nothing new much," he responded, "that a young filly would take interest in, unfortunately."

Arrow grabbed a few sticks of apple jerky, a usual treat she got from here.

The old stallion decided to share something with her, "Let me show you something dear."

He pulled out a golden horseshoe and claimed that it would bring her good fortune.

"Take it, my friend, and try it out, and let me hear from the good things that happen real soon."

In her frustration, she threw the golden shoe out the window towards a drinking trough.

And quite strangely, a vulture grabbed it by the beak and began carrying it off.

"No!" She yelled as her heart quickly changed and she jumped safely out of the window

And began running after the bird, not minding the punishment her foster parents bestowed.

She followed the vulture for what seemed several miles before she realized the sun come down.

And as dusk grew dimmer she began to lose her sense of direction and the location of the town.

Just then she saw the bird drop an object that reflected the remaining daylight.

And she jump towards the golden object off the canyon edge several hundred feet in height.

Her face bleached pale and her legs treaded air as the distance to the ground was realized.

Thoughts ran through her mind, regrets and confusion, as her life flashed before her eyes.

Buffalo find her in the desert,

Her existence is fabled in the air,

They give her to the Appleloosans,

Her foster parents offer to care,

Her friends love adventuring with her,

But it sometimes leads her unaware,

Few ponies really understand her,

And her wish to soar in the air,

Times were good, times were bad,

To her they were all the same,

But a flash of unknown territory,

Of ponies she didn't know came,

They shared Arrow's pelt and hair colors,

And gave her loving affection,

In the clouds high in the sky,

Her parents were seen in her reflection.

At terminal velocity, Arrow fell towards the ground, her tears streaking aside her head.

After all the foolish things she's done she knew that soon she would be dead.

From out of nowhere, a white blur appeared whizzing past her side.

And slowly but surely lifted her up from her high-speed falling hide.

The white image cradled her body softly to the canyon floor.

When she rubbed her eyes clear of tears, she saw the sight that she could not ignore.

A pegasus Wonderbolt colt smiled cleanly looked at her with pride as Arrow arose.

He told her, "Maybe try flying some other day," before he shot back into the sky with the crows.

"Arpy, what do you want to do when you grow up?" Her teacher asked in class.

Arrow thought carefully and decided her aspiration to fly would not pass.

"I want to be a farmer," she lied, as she grinned and sat low in her desk.

"Very good," the teacher said, not focusing on Arrow's mask.

"Remember kids, whatever you want to do is up to you, you can do anything!

You just have to put your mind to it and you can achieve the best things.

And for those who don't have you cutie mark yet, no worries my little ponies.

When you discover your true talent, it will appear on your haunch with ease!"

Arrow could not find the golden horseshoe after several minutes of looking.

The darkness was shrouding the land making it difficult for finding and searching.

She gave up and walked into the direction she hoped would lead her to town.

Even after being saved by a Wonderbolt, her face was full of frown.

Unrealistically, she made it to town and knocked on her house's front door.

When her foster mom opened it, she was already crying tears, her anxiety restored.

"Where have you been Arrow? We were worried sick about you!"

"I was trying to-," Arrow corrected herself, "trying something I cannot do."

Mrs. Trails ran hot water in the washroom to clean up the dirty foal.

She was overwhelming herself passed the thoughts of being aggravatingly boiled.

As she scrubbed the unwilling filly from all of the dirt and sweat of the day.

She noticed something about the foal and made her stand up and say,

"Arrow, what did you do?" As she pointed towards Arrow Plain's rear.

Arrow slowly looked back at her own hide to find a cutie mark had appeared.

It was a solid steel horseshoe with substantial wings of it's own.

"I AM meant to be in the sky!" the little foal shouted as if it was something she had always known.

Later that night, Mrs. Trails tucked her foster filly into her mattress haystack.

All transgressions were put aside for the young pony everyone missed had finally come back.

In a dark bedroom, with Arrow's sleepy eyes carrying half lid.

She felt an uncomfortable nudge on her poll coming from underneath the pillow head.

Lifting the pillow, but what did she see, was a glowing shine of gold

It was her golden horseshoe she thought she'd never again get hold

With a smile from ear to ear, she fluffed her pillow and went to sleep

And dreamed of her future adventures, perhaps taking place above the mountains steep

Across the skies where clouds carry tired pegasi ponies napping

A glimpse of a real world heaven can be seen with her true parents patiently waiting.

[Hippo]

Part 2 draft complete.

total 4 parts now.

[Hippo]

I will release the poem in full later...

if you catch my drift.

[Hippo]

My first final draft is done.

I am very pleased with how it turned out. Tell me what you guys think!!

[BaconofChaos]

Well I read the whole thing. I really liked the story, certainly kept my attention, and believe me, that's hard to do

That said, it could use a little tuning-up in places. I'm not much for poetry I must admit, so please excuse me if I say something dumb. There are a few lines that just don't rhyme, such as in paragraph 3 when you rhyme "am" with "came", or paragraph 9 with "office" and "lawless". Also there are a few points where the flow seems off to me, mainly due to where the pauses are. i.e.

The younger bull yielded to his masters better ideas. He dare not complain.

The Chief proudly announced just then, "She shall be forever called: Arrow Plain."

To me, the pause in the first line comes too late, and so the second seems off. Re-reading it I can see where you were going with it, but it's hard to know the speed it's meant to be read at to keep it flowing smoothly. This might just be a formatting thing though.

I do hope I don't sound like I'm nitpicking. You did ask for feedback. I really do like this, I just think it could use some tweaking ^^:

[Hippo]

Thank you for the input.

I tried to pace it well without making it too structured. Sometimes, I resorted to slant rhyme to prevent using words that don't apply at all.

I figured as long as I could continue some sort of rhythm, the reader would be able to read it properly. I'm not a big fan of poems that rhyme, most of mine are very abstract and use line arrangement.

There are a few lines I'm not 100% satisfied with, so your input is invaluable. I'm gonna let this poem simmer with more feedback until I try to change some it, though.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.