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[Buffalo] Valiant Paw [Ready]


MyLittlePonyTales

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Roleplay Type: World of Equestria RP

Name: Valiant Paw

Sex: Female

Age: Teen

Species: Buffalo

Eye colour: Auburn

Coat: Around her left eye, Valiant has painted in cherry (colour) the track print of a wolf. It was a gift from the chief, a sign of her bravery. Her coat is light brown in colour.

Physique: Strong and well built, Valiant's muscles can attest that she is obviously built for the rough desert.

Residence: Appleloosa

Occupation: Meditation guru, defensive combat instructor

History Most ponies would probably find the desert life of the buffalo harsh. They live off the land, not having the luxury of houses for protection. The buffalo must live by their wits, using their knowledge of the desert lands to forage and explore.

So it was that one night, Valiant awoke to the sound of wolves howling. That wasn't too unusual—after all, she lived in the wilderness. There were wild creatures all around. But something didn't feel right. She crept out of the shelter of her family's tent, looking around for anything unusual. It was at that moment she saw a rogue wolf sniffing at the entrance to another tent nearby. It was just a little one, and must have gotten separated from its family.

Valiant tentatively approached the pup, managing to scoop the curious creature onto her head in order to carry him. She crept from the camp, following the sound of the rest of the pack's howling. When she was close, she crested a hill and saw the other wolves below. She placed the little wolf on the ground, and nudged him back to his family. Valiant was so absorbed in making sure the pup got back safely that she forgot to hide before the rest of the wolves spotted her. And upon the arrival of the wolf pup, the others looked up in the direction he had come from. They spotted the young Buffalo, but chose to ignore her, instead turning tail and running off into the desert now that their missing member had been returned.

Of course, Valiant's absence from the herd had soon been discovered, and a search party was already being organized when she arrived back home. Valiant apologetically explained the situation and its urgency, and ended up being praised instead of reprimanded for wandering off.

Trying to be modest, Valiant claimed that she had done what any other tribe mate would have. That may have been true, but the fact remained that she alone had been the one to wake up and discover the wolf. And so, she was recognized by the chief for her bravery. The fur over her eye was dyed with paint in the shape of a wolf print, as a reminder to all the members of the herd, and anyone she would meet in the future, of her deed. 'Paw' was added to the end of her name, as a symbol that while wolves may have had claws, they also had soft paws, and should be treated as gently as any other creature when possible. Even the most modest of Buffalo respected rituals, so she gratefully accepted the praise and thanks from all.

Several years later, Valiant moved to Appleloosa, to help teach the pony folk there. There may not be any wolves in town, but there are plenty of little nooks for snakes, scorpions, and spiders to hide. Ponies don't seem to care much for the little desert nuisances, but they don't really bother Valiant. She'd rather catch and set a pest free than eliminate it.

Character Summary: In her free time, though, Valiant does have to earn money when there aren't critters to wrangle. She teaches self defense classes in a small, empty warehouse, devoid of anything except its walls. In addition to defense though, she also teaches meditation. Being calm, cool, and collected during an encounter with a wild creature is just as important as knowing how to fend one off.

For fun, she likes helping others learn about the land and its creatures, as well as her meditation. It may be her job, but it's also a great source of enjoyment for the young buffalo. Valiant is interested in sharing her experiences with others, and learning from them as well. She has no problem letting one of her students teach her. Her meditation exercises are found to be quite soothing, and help solidify the harmony present within all beings.

Because she has such a desire to get along with everyone, she can make friends easily, even in the most unlikely of places. Most seem to enjoy her chill nature. Valiant is always willing to get along, even with those who may have a less than stellar attitude. She likes to go with the flow, and though she's very accepting of others, she'll boldly stand up for what she believes in.

She has considered traveling about Equestria, spreading her knowledge and harmonic spirit with others, but the thought of leaving home dissuades her. She'd certainly like to see the world, but feels she's not quite ready to fully 'leave the nest' just yet. The desert has always been her home, and 'greener pastures' just aren't her style. She'll take the rough and wild west any day!

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Hi Tales!

I love the originality of this buffalo character! Brilliant backstory!

I had some doubt when I read the name 'Valiant Paw' but after reading the character history, the name truly fits!

Excellent work!

:D:D:D

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Well Tales, got the word from a SRPH that there's a few minor issues they have with your app.

"The History field on this app is mislabeled as Character Summary. An actual summary of this character is missing. We hear what has happened to the character and what they do, but we know almost nothing about the character herself. There is nothing about her personality, likes, dislikes, interests, hobbies, faults, fears of any of the stuff that should be in the Character Summary under the new app form. This needs to change before the app can be stamped."

So when you make the appropriate changes, let me know and the app will be rereviewed!

:D:D:D

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  • 1 month later...

Hi there. :)

This is almost there, however the character summary still isn't telling us much about Valiant herself beyond what her job is. If we could get a more rounded picture of who the character is we should be able to stamp this promptly. What kind of things does Valiant do for fun? What is she interested? What does she hate or fear? How does she carry herself? Does she make friends easily? Does she have any character faults of note? There are any number of questions that could still be asked about the character and while you don't have to answer everything, we would like a little more.

Hope to see this character stamped soon. ;)

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This is almost there, however the character summary still isn't telling us much about Valiant herself beyond what her job is. If we could get a more rounded picture of who the character is we should be able to stamp this promptly. What kind of things does Valiant do for fun? What is she interested? What does she hate or fear? How does she carry herself? Does she make friends easily? Does she have any character faults of note? There are any number of questions that could still be asked about the character and while you don't have to answer everything, we would like a little more.

Hmm, some of this seems to already be in there. For fun, she likes teaching her defense classes, and helping others learn about the land and its creatures, as well as her meditation. Sure, it's her job, but it's also her source of enjoyment. Same goes for her interests-she's interested in sharing her experience with others, and learning from them as well (student teaches the teacher kinda thing). She fears predators, of course, since they're dangerous, but as should be clear in the app, she doesn't have anything to hate. She's all about harmony in nature, and with ponies, buffalo, and all other creatures. Hate would go against the values expressed in the app. I guess I figured the harmonic vibe in the application would indicate that she's pretty chill about life, the peaceful warrior, if you will. With the classes she teaches, she interacts with a lot of ponies, and as already mentioned, she wants to get along with all creatures-so I'm sure she has no trouble making friends. And... coming up with faults is kind of stumping me. XD I was thinking she might be too lenient or forgiving, but I don't think that's true due to her fighting nature. She may be peaceful, but she also prepares others to fight, so she's not just a pushover. But the peace and harmony within her also help balance out her defense teaching techniques, so she isn't too tough or strict either.

I'm just not sure what else to add, since I feel that I already covered all the questions you gave me in what I've already got in the app.

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Hi Tales!

A few important things to keep in mind, since this character is a bit incomplete for WoE:

1. in regard to the buffalo lore: We still have some work to do in getting lore for the buffalos solidified.

This application should try to focus less on the possible culture or habits of the buffalo as a race, and focus moreso on the character herself.

2. It needs more detail in order to give us a better idea of who the character is.

Phil made some good suggestions above and, if nothing else, they should at least be given some thought

.

3. If you're absolutely stone-cold certain that this is how your character needs to be, and that it has been destined by the cosmos to be so, then you know there's always FFA and Crossovers. As explained above, we're not entirely sure of what this character is really all about, and can't very well just send a mystery bovine into the frey!

Good luck, and we look forward to seeing how you mold this character further!

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2. It needs more detail in order to give us a better idea of who the character is.

Phil made some good suggestions above and, if nothing else, they should at least be given some thought

.

As I wrote above, I did give thought everything Phil specifically said, and felt it was all already there. I'm not trying to be difficult at all, I'm just not sure what else to add. I'm very used to expanding a character's personality through Roleplay, not through the application. The addition of the history section to applications has been rough on my app creation. XD

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Hey there, Tales. :)

We understand where you're coming from, however we're still going to need this application to meet our current standards before we can approve it. Applications serve as a reference for other players, as many of them don't have the time or inclination to review any past threads you may roleplay with this character. For this reason, it is important that you supply a minimum of details concerning basic, fundamental aspects that give specific focus to this character, instead of the buffalo race as a whole and a brief history.

The application as it is really just doesn't give us much detail about a character. it's about her job and the role she plays, its about what happened to her and its about her tribe, but there is very little at the moment which presents an actual defined character. That is what the character summary section is intended for. The very reason the history detail (and cutie mark story, for that matter) was taken out of the character summary section when the application form was restructured was to ensure that applications would present a fuller picture of the character as a whole and not just an account of what has happened to them.

You answer a lot of my questions in your reply, but it really needs to go into the text of the application. Don't expect everyone to pick up on how your character operates just from the subtext either. You could also still add more details. I would also like to see at least some things detailed that have nothing to do with her profession, even if it's something small; the little things can really add a lot to a character. Overall, we want to get a better picture of who she is.

Robi also made a good point of the lore issue. We don't like to see a lot of species lore being defined within application. It seems to assume a little much about the buffalo and their practices. I also think the fighting aspect might be over-emphasized somewhat. We do see that martial arts exists in Equestria in canon, but it should be remembered that the WoE RP is not and should not be about fighting or combat of any sort. Slice of life is the key rule; the teaching of martial arts, should be more for discipline than actual combat use. Self defense is maybe worth knowing, but the average pony generally isn't going to need to defend themselves from any kind of attack. I would suggest taking out references to fighting and focusing more exclusively just on the self-defense self-discipline aspects.

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Hmkay, I'll think on it.

Robi also made a good point of the lore issue. We don't like to see a lot of species lore being defined within application.

I'm not trying to overstep any bounds, but there is ZERO lore for the Buffalo besides what has been seen in show. I have nothing to go off of as far as the site goes, so I just had to wing it. If there was lore for the Buffalo available, of course I would follow it.

We do see that martial arts exists in Equestria in canon, but it should be remembered that the WoE RP is not and should not be about fighting or combat of any sort. Slice of life is the key rule; the teaching of martial arts, should be more for discipline than actual combat use.

Right, that's why I tried to stress the defense aspect of it, rather than a battle aspect. It's to be used only for protection when absolutely necessary, certainly not for going out and starting street fights.

Self defense is maybe worth knowing, but the average pony generally isn't going to need to defend themselves from any kind of attack.

Generally, no. But out in the desert, there are many wild creatures that a pony might come across, which works since Valiant is based in Appleloosa. In addition, in Spike at Your Service, the timberwolves came out of the forest, and the ponies did have to defend themselves against them. The intent was never to hurt the wolves, merely to protect themselves. And that's exactly what Valiant focuses on teaching.

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Hi Tales! I understand what you are saying, but I think you may be missing the point of what Robi and Phil have both said to you. These are not arbitrary changes; this character has been discussed between us, and this was the best recourse we can offer you before this character may be approved for play.

I'm not trying to overstep any bounds, but there is ZERO lore for the Buffalo besides what has been seen in show. I have nothing to go off of as far as the site goes, so I just had to wing it. If there was lore for the Buffalo available, of course I would follow it.

We are very well-aware of how frustrating it can be to design a character with no lore (or in some cases, lore that no longer fits within WoE rules), which tells me that the flaw is within our roleplay, and perhaps play of this race should be restricted until such time as the Lore Builders can properly make this species playable again. I'll pass this issue along to Manestream. In the mean time, we politely ask that you refrain from creating lore about buffalo yourself, and keep information focused about your character instead.

Right, that's why I tried to stress the defense aspect of it, rather than a battle aspect. It's to be used only for protection when absolutely necessary, certainly not for going out and starting street fights.

I think the main point is that your character application placed too much focus on martial arts and self-defense training, instead of relevant information about your character.

Generally, no. But out in the desert, there are many wild creatures that a pony might come across, which works since Valiant is based in Appleloosa. In addition, in Spike at Your Service, the timberwolves came out of the forest, and the ponies did have to defend themselves against them. The intent was never to hurt the wolves, merely to protect themselves. And that's exactly what Valiant focuses on teaching.

As Phil pointed out, please do not confuse FiM canon with WoE-approved canon. Since I'd rather not repeat things that have already been asked to get this character ready for play, I'm going to quote Phil's reply again. I firmly suggest you read it and make the necessary development changes we need to approve this character. We all agree this character is not ready; the level of detail is lacking, the lore suggestions for buffalo are not approved for use, and we would like to learn more about your character outside of a brief history and the focus on martial arts. Once you do that, we can approve this character for play. Thank you!

Hey there, Tales. :)

We understand where you're coming from, however we're still going to need this application to meet our current standards before we can approve it. Applications serve as a reference for other players, as many of them don't have the time or inclination to review any past threads you may roleplay with this character. For this reason, it is important that you supply a minimum of details concerning basic, fundamental aspects that give specific focus to this character, instead of the buffalo race as a whole and a brief history.

The application as it is really just doesn't give us much detail about a character. it's about her job and the role she plays, its about what happened to her and its about her tribe, but there is very little at the moment which presents an actual defined character. That is what the character summary section is intended for. The very reason the history detail (and cutie mark story, for that matter) was taken out of the character summary section when the application form was restructured was to ensure that applications would present a fuller picture of the character as a whole and not just an account of what has happened to them.

You answer a lot of my questions in your reply, but it really needs to go into the text of the application. Don't expect everyone to pick up on how your character operates just from the subtext either. You could also still add more details. I would also like to see at least some things detailed that have nothing to do with her profession, even if it's something small; the little things can really add a lot to a character. Overall, we want to get a better picture of who she is.

Robi also made a good point of the lore issue. We don't like to see a lot of species lore being defined within application. It seems to assume a little much about the buffalo and their practices. I also think the fighting aspect might be over-emphasized somewhat. We do see that martial arts exists in Equestria in canon, but it should be remembered that the WoE RP is not and should not be about fighting or combat of any sort. Slice of life is the key rule; the teaching of martial arts, should be more for discipline than actual combat use. Self defense is maybe worth knowing, but the average pony generally isn't going to need to defend themselves from any kind of attack. I would suggest taking out references to fighting and focusing more exclusively just on the self-defense self-discipline aspects.

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I think the main point is that your character application placed too much focus on martial arts and self-defense training, instead of relevant information about your character.

Like I just said above, I plan to take time to think about what Phil posted. The quote was quite unnecessary, as I'd already acknowledged what was said and STATED that I was going to consider it while making updates to the character.

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Like I just said above, I plan to take time to think about what Phil posted. The quote was quite unnecessary, as I'd already acknowledged what was said and STATED that I was going to consider it while making updates to the character.

I'm glad that you understand what is being said to you, and furthermore you are considering updates to this character. Clearly my quote was necessary, as it facilitated acknowledgement from you. Thanks for working with us to make sure WoE character standards remain high! :)

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  • 4 weeks later...

Tales I can see this character means a lot to you, however she cannot be approved yet due to a few problems in the application.

1: You are essentially making up Buffalo lore that is not WOE canon, and we can't simply have people making up lore to suit their needs.

2: Your character is far too combat focused, "In self defense" isn't a very good reason for this, so It would really be appreciated if you can steer her towards a less violent and combat oriented path.

3:Tell us more about Valiant! We know a lot about her history, and her tribe, but we know next to little about her, please expand on her :D Once these changes are done you will be one step closer to having this app stamped and joining the other buffalo!

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1: You are essentially making up Buffalo lore that is not WOE canon, and we can't simply have people making up lore to suit their needs.

Like I've said before... there is ZERO WoE Buffalo lore, so I have nothing to go off of as to what is right or wrong. The Buffalo tribe was only in one episode, so they aren't heavily established there either. And if going off of a Native American tribe (which the Buffalo seem to be based around), well, they are widespread with many different cultures and traditions among themselves. Maybe it would help if you pointed out specifically what doesn't work, and why. I have toned down the assumed lore since the beginning of the app, but it still doesn't seem to be enough. So I guess I don't understand what you guys want.

2: Your character is far too combat focused, "In self defense" isn't a very good reason for this, so It would really be appreciated if you can steer her towards a less violent and combat oriented path.

Alrighty, maybe I should explain where I'm coming from. Self defense is apart of her teachings, but really, she's more like a karate instructor. And karate, though it has roots in combat, is now just a sport in some places. So, it's not lessons for like, going out and starting fights, but more so what you'd learn in like, an American Taekwondo class. There is fighting involved in competitions, but it's mock-fighting, not aimed to hurt anyone severely, and taught more as a sport than for actually battling anyone seriously. Should I further explain that in the app? :)

3:Tell us more about Valiant! We know a lot about her history, and her tribe, but we know next to little about her, please expand on her :D

Hmmm, I did my best to expand upon her character, so I feel I'm sucked dry. I think I've already expanded twice, judging from my editing notes on Dec 10 and Feb 20. Maybe it would help if you told me what you want to know. I'm wracking my brain here, I just don't know what else there is to say about her.

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[colour=#000000]Hey there Tales! I understand that it is difficult to make a character where so little lore is present. And using the Native Americans as a basis is a good direction. However, your direction is a little off. Keep in mind that there were hundreds if not thousands of tribes in the Americas. Almost all had weapons, as they were hunter gatherers and nomads. However, that is not necessary for buffalo. You’re basing your buffalo lore on a minority portion of Native American tribes. The hunters were just that hunters. They respected the land and its creatures above all else. They were peaceful, and they preferred not to fight. That is the flavour you should aim for. Think less Apache more Cherokee. Nomadic people who care dearly for the land. Even in the show they weren’t ready to fight at all, nor were they even good at it. They were pushed over the edge. There was no indication that they knew how to fight or defend themselves, they just used their massive size to their advantage for brute force means.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Your app seems to focus on her protection of ponies and buffalo rather than her spiritual nature. The spiritual and meditative nature would be more the flavour of MLP, and perhaps even the Buffalo themselves. After all, they opted to try and derail the plans of the settlers rather than attack them head on. [/colour]

[colour=#000000]Keep in mind that there are many parallels of Native American tribes and African tribes as well, which the zebra were based off of. If they can be written without violence and references of the like, then so can buffalo. For every tribe like the Maasai, you had tribes like the Asanti. [/colour]

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They were peaceful, and they preferred not to fight. That is the flavour you should aim for.

That's EXACTLY what I've been aiming for the entire time, ever since I first wrote the app. XD Maybe that's why it's so hard for me to figure out what to fix. I already felt from the beginning that that it was very evident Valiant preferred peace and harmony over fighting. And as I've made edits, I've kept trying to stress it more and more, but you guys keep coming back and saying it's still focused on fighting when I've been trying my hardest (even since the first draft of the app) to not make that the focus.

Well, she's been through another edit. If there's anything you still feel is too fighting based, could you quote it so I know exactly what bit to fix?

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Howdy Tales! QL asked me to help her out, so here I am. :)

Most ponies would find the desert life of the buffalo harsh. They live off the land, not having the luxury of houses for protection. The buffalo must live by their wits, [colour=#ff0000]defending against the desert wildlife with only their hooves and horns.[/colour]

One of the big problems I see is that you imply the desert to be a dog-eat-dog world, when that conflicts with the fundamental mood of the show (and by extension, World of Equestria). To put it simply, no intelligent creature in our RP should have to defend against wildlife in a frequent basis, not even Zecora who resides in the Everfree Forest. Once you adjust your character's backstory to account for this reality, you'll find that it won't be so defense-centric.

Valiant had done her part, and so scared was it, in fact, that it left the camp entirely. Valiant could have sworn she saw several other pairs of eyes disappear, but at that moment, she found herself being picked up and dusted off by her fellow herd mates. She didn't know it yet, but she was a hero. Inside tent she had fought to protect was a couple and their baby. [colour=#ff0000]A lone, quiet wolf could have easily grabbed the baby in its jaws and left the camp without anyone noticing for hours.[/colour]

Again, the highlighted section is a detail that doesn't fit the theme of WoE. Predators can be dangerous yes, but they won't be found in the FiM-verse sneaking into a town or camp to gobble up a baby. I suggest that instead of casting the wolf as a threat, have your character interact with the wolf in a way that will ultimately benefit the creature. When it comes to dealing with animals, Fluttershy and her nurturing ways should be the gold standard that OCs should strive to emulate.

--------

And now we get to Valiant Paw's summary. The reason my colleagues say that it focuses too much on defense is because too little of the summary actually talks about how your OC interacts with other characters. Ideally, only one paragraph (or maybe two) should be dedicated to explaining how she goes about her occupation. The majority of the summary however should address such concerns as how she behaves around other ponies outside of classtime, what hobbies or other recreational activities she does aside from her job, what sorts of people she likes or dislikes, and what personal qualities of your OC will endear her to other ponies or bother them.

The main objective for WoE RPers has been, and always will be, to have their characters maintain friendships with other characters. Hence, the summary should be devoted mainly towards how your OC will achieve those ends. If you think along those lines and follow all the other advice we've given you, your app will be that much closer towards meeting WoE-standards. :D

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