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Daylight [Ready]


Dave247
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Art by the very talented:

Arylett Dawnsborough

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria

Name: Daylight

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion (Young Adult)

Species: Unicorn

Eye Colour: Mantis [colour=#74c365]#74C365[/colour]

Coat: Goldenrod [colour=#daa520]#DAA520[/colour]

Mane/Tail: Short, thick cream coloured mane and tail. [colour=#ffffcc]#FFFFCC[/colour]

Physique: Tall, skinny and lanky due to being a bit of a fussy eater.

Origin/Residence: Ponyville, then moved to Manehatten.

Occupation: Private Investigator. Mainly just helping other ponies with problems they have and receiving compensation for it.

Cutie Mark:

His cutie mark is a single source of light with many light rays shining out from it. It signifies his ability to use magic to light up dark areas with his horn, heal minor to moderate injuries however severely weakening him in the process. The longer and brighter he keeps his light spell on for the faster it drains his energy, just as using his healing spell instantly drains a lot of energy in one go. As time goes one though and Day matures, studies and develops he is able to become more skilled with his magic and knowledge and increase his magical ability thus enabling him to heal greater injuries to an extent.

As a colt growing up, Day had no idea what his special talent was but knew he got pleasure from helping other ponies with their problems so he decided to keep doing that hoping one day his cutie Mark would one day appear. He was able to cast a very basic light spell, but so could everypony else and so at the time, he did not think anything of that. It was during one task he agreed to do that he discovered his cutie mark. Day was walking around the streets of Ponyville at night trying to catch a thief who had stolen a valuable item from somepony, but he couldn't see very well because it was dark which made it very easy to lose track of the thief. He tired to use his basic light spell but it would only light up a very small area and last for a handful of seconds. He diden't want to tire himself out too quickly as he knew it required a lot of effort so he diden't use it that often. Day then heard glass shattering and ran off to investigate the noise. When he arrived at the scene, he was just in time to see a shadowy figure disappear into the darkness. He tried to chase after him but as it was too dark he was unable to keep up with the thief. Having lost his trail, Day was disappointed and also worried about failing not only his friend, but himself as well. It made him wish that there was a source of light so he could see well, and he was getting fed up at how useless his basic light spell was. Day then felt his horn tingle and spark as a bright flash of light erupted from it, temporally blinding him for a few seconds. When his eyes recovered he noticed that his horn was softly glowing a bright light that was consistant and not going out.

Now that the surrounding area was illuminated, Day noticed a slight blood trail where the thief must have cut themselves from the glass. He followed it along quickly to its end where he found a young colt curled up behind a building exhausted from running as well as slightly injured due to the cuts on his hooves he had received from the glass. As Day looked at the colt and could see the pain in his eyes from running on an injured hoof, as well as the fear of what Day would do to him now that he was discovered. He took pity on the thief, as he was just a young colt and reassured him it would be alright. Something would need to be done about his injury though if they were to go anywhere because he didn't have the strength to carry the colt himself. He could feel the effects of his Light spell already starting to take its toll.

As Day looked at the injury and the small amount of blood that was still coming from it, it was like he could just about feel the young colts pain himself. He then felt his horn tingle and spark again which gave him an idea. Day touched his horn to the injury and with a small flash of light it was instantly healed. Day staggered back after casting the spell, as it along with his light spell that was still active it had severely weakened and tired him. The young colt who was grateful to Day for being kind and compassionate to him gave him no trouble as he let Day escort him home.

As he was feeling very tried and weak from the night's events he went straight home to rest. It wasn't until the next morning when he was returning the valuable item to its owner did he notice that he now had a cutie mark when it was pointed out to him during their discussion.

History:

Daylight lent back in his office chair, with his feet resting against his desk while he sipped his morning coffee. He thought back to everything he did to get where he was now.

When he was a young colt, Day enjoyed maths although he wasn't very good at it. Problem solving was what he loved the most. He would sit and spend a lot of time; just on the one problem until he was satisfied he had explored every angle of it before moving on. He struggled at remembering his multiplication tables and formulas which made it in though increasingly difficult to solve the problems he was faced with as he progressed through school. This continued until he eventually gave up at maths as well as school altogether and decided to focus his attention elsewhere.

It was then that Day turned to the community. He had always liked helping other ponies and their never seemed to be an end to their problems. He grew up in Ponyville, befriending the townsfolk he helped with any problems that they encountered. At first, it was mainly just small and simple tasks like things went missing and simple disagreements between ponies. He got to know a number of them quite well because of this.

As time went on though, Day became dissatisfied with the slow life in Ponyville and felt there was more out there for him, so he decided to move to busy Manehatten when he matured into a stallion to further follow his idea of help solve problems for ponies. He decided to become a Private Investigator and rented out an apartment which would double as his office. He would pay the rent by the money from cases he solved which would also hopefully be enough also for food and sometimes a luxury as long as he kept busy solving cases. He also took up studying a bit of first aid on the side in his spare time as he figured it would be very useful considering his abilities.

After some time had passed, he had solved a lot of cases and was starting to become well known. Former clients he'd helped would sometimes recognize him when he walking though the city and thank him for all the good he was doing in the city. Although he wasn't rich he was happy because was doing what he loved and was helping other ponies and creatures at the same time.

He sat there, continuing to drink his coffee wondering what his next case would be. The monthly rent payment was coming up soon and he was starting to get desperate for something to happen. He hoped that whatever ever it is, would happen very soon. He thought about how he would like to go back and visit Ponyville one day as he was rather starting to miss the quiet little town with its simplicity and friendliness, but he doubted anypony would remember him there now.

Character Summary:

DayLight is a good pony. He always seeks to do what is right and just even when it means he has to go out of his way to do so. Furthermore, Day is determined that once he starts something he is passionate about he won’t stop until he sees it to its end. He is also brutally honest and will sometimes say things to ponies that is the truth and not realize that it hurts their feelings.

Additionally, Day is kind and friendly and is always willing to help others in need but at the same time, is afraid to step in due to him worrying that he'll do more harm than good. Usually he does though and things mostly turn out well and others are grateful for his help.

Day is also organized and is mostly neat and tidy but can be messy when he doesn't know where to put something and just places it in a pile with everything else.

Due to being socially awkward Day struggles to make friends and socialize in a group. He prefers talking one on one with somepony as it feels less threatening to him as he can have a more personal conversation with them.

Because of this he has little friends and while he enjoys his solitude at times, it gets lonely quite quickly which forces him to go and put himself out there and take risks which may or may not end up as a success.

There are times where Day's feelings will get in the way of decisions he makes.

If he becomes stressed due to being unable to make a decision about something, or just worrying about something too much in general, he relies on the assurance of others to affirm him and comfort him.

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Greetings; I'm not a member of the Help Staff, but I just wanted to say that I think you're off to a good start with your app. However, I'd just like to point out that your OC's name should be listed in the "Name" field instead of your username. Also, I think it'd be a good idea (though you don't have to take it into consideration depending on what a RP Helper says) if you specified that Daylight had been perfecting his light spell for some time before using it during his cutie mark moment. Magic would be no fun if a unicorn could get a spell right on the first try, eh? :razz:

I have to say though that I like how you've mentioned all the caveats concerning Daylight's shyness. In my opinion, it's good to let other players know how to bond with socially-challenged OCs instead of simply leaving things at "he's shy".

Other than that, I wish you the best of luck. A RP Helper will be along in a few days to look through this app and give you additional advice if necessary. :)

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Hey there, like Bellosh I'm not RPHS. So everything I say will be my opinion, and you may feel free to ignore any of it :D

So going through your application...

Name:[colour=#282828] Dave247
[/colour]

[colour=#282828]This should be your OC's name. In other words "Daylight."[/colour]

[colour=#282828]It signifies his ability to use magic to light up dark areas with his horn, heal other pony's injuries at his own expense and slightly sense the light in others.
[/colour]

Ok, [colour=#282828]I get the first one. He is good at light magic. But I feel like elaboration is needed for the latter two. What do you mean he heals other pony's injuries at his own expense? Does he gain the injury himself, does it take a lot of effort draining his physical or magical ability? Also, it would be wise to set limits on that too. Not every injury can be healed that quickly or easily, even by magic. (Think about the episode "Read it and Weep," the doctor, whom was also a unicorn, was unable to heal Dash's wing in any quick amount of time (comparatively speaking).) I suspect magic was involved because bones take weeks, not days to heal, but it was still not instantaneous) And what do you mean he can sense the light in others? I really don't understand what is meant here. (I'm going to elaborate more on his magical abilities when I talk about the cutie mark story)[/colour]

Now on to the cutie mark story... First off, it sounds as if he is already a stallion at this point. Please elaborate on that, if it is so, I'd rethink that, because no adult pony is ever seen without a cutie mark, and the RP reflects that, as such, all ponies should have their cutie mark before adulthood.

Unlike Bellosh, I don't see an issue with instinctual magic (Unicorn magic works in mysterious ways, as we saw with Rarity in the Cutie Mark Chronicles). His heightened ability to emit light from his horn might be his special ability. However, I feel like there might be an issue with specializing in healing magic as well. While lighting is a basic unicorn talent (I mean even Snips (?) could do it), healing magic is probably not, and probably requires some study. While healing a cut would be easy, knowing how to heal other things is probably less than instinctual. Regardless, ponies have shown to be proficient in one main area of magic, perhaps he is proficient in various types of lighting magic, and he knew basic first aid which he used to help the injured thief. Both might be tricky, but if it is allowed, elaborate and set clear limits. Though that might not be necessary for the light, but probably would be for the healing.

I agree with Bellosh on the shyness thing. Some elaboration would be nice. There are many varying degrees of shyness. Being too shy isn't exactly beneficial for the type of RP we have here, which is heavy on interaction with other ponies. Also, I personally find it hard to believe that a private investigator would be shy, because that would make it harder to obtain clientele. I'd think socially awkward, not knowing how to initiate or proceed would be better than shy and seclusive. I'd focus less on overt shyness and wanting to be alone, and more on how your pony interacts with others. Try not to make shyness a defining characteristic to the point where he barely interacts. A pony who doesn't interact, would be a very boring pony to play in the game.

[colour=#282828]He is also afraid of the Dark as it makes him quite nervous and sometimes stressed when there isn't enough light to see clearly.
[/colour]

[colour=#282828]This seems a bit odd to me with knowing what I do about your character. He is proficient in light creation magic, yet is afraid of the dark? I mean, that is fine, but wouldn't he just create his own light, allowing him to see clearly?[/colour]

[colour=#282828]Overall, you are off to a good start, but it could use some clarification and tweaking in certain areas. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. And if you need further help and would want input, please don't hesitate to ask me, or seek help from RPHS. [/colour]

[colour=#282828]Good luck![/colour]

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Thank you both of you. Even though you are not offical RP helpers I still very much appreacte the feedback you have both given.

As for the name, that was a honest mistake and was quickly fixed :P

I've expanded on his magical ability, and set clear lmits on it as well. I agree just as in Read it and Weep healing bones is something that takes time despite magic, it's just one of those things. Normally though nones would take weeks or even longer to heal so shortening that to a few days with magic is a reasonable and fair trade off in my opinion. I don't plan on making him a doctor or anything, but I did think to add in how he study's a bit of first aid because that logically makes sense to me concidering everything. bascially whenever the need for healing or injuries come up I know to use common sense and keep within the abilites of the character. I know not to make him into som over powered mary sue character but it's hard with a character such as this because with a ability such as heal if everything isen't cleary stated there is room for interpritation and movement.

Also, about his age eairler on, I agree on that as well. Thanks to you pointing it out as I only just realised then I had bearly said anything about when he was younger which made it confusing. it's because in turn it expands on his backstory.

As for his Light spell, I have tweaked that a bit as well, as I too agree it is a very basic spell all unicorns can do so I figured I had to add something in there.

And finally for the shyness, I agree with that and also thinking back to pervious RP's I have been in it wasen't consistant with how I haveplayed the character so I have toned it down and bascially just expained it differantly. As I'm trying to be as detailed as possable without going overboard using the wrong words can give the wrong impression.

Again, thank you both very much for your feedback and critiques because as the creator I don't always think of absolutly everything when writing it all down. :)

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Awesome work!

The only thing I'd really change is the term "mana pool." That is a MTG term, and I'm not so sure magic in Equestria is described like that. I'd just change that to "abilities."

Other than that... There are a few typos. Occupation I think you meant "Investigator" not "investor" and "Heel spell" I think you mean "Healing spell." I'd just run through it for proofreading purposes.

But really, awesome job :)

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Awesome work!

The only thing I'd really change is the term "mana pool." That is a MTG term, and I'm not so sure magic in Equestria is described like that. I'd just change that to "abilities."

Other than that... There are a few typos. Occupation I think you meant "Investigator" not "investor" and "Heel spell" I think you mean "Healing spell." I'd just run through it for proofreading purposes.

But really, awesome job :)

Thank you! The typos I have fixed with the first one being to and incorect spell check and the secound was only something I added after orignally posting it so I must of missed it when I went over it briefly.

As for the mana pool that too was was a new part that was added and and that term just so happened to be the first thing I thought of and I did debate wherever to use it or not but I can see now it's not appropriate. "Magical ability" works much better.

Again, thank you very much for the feedback! I greatly appreacte it that others critique it as they concider or see other things that I woulden't myself. :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Dave247!

Looks like you've done a lot of work on this app, and overall, this app looks great!

All of the required fields are filled and it is well written.

The only thing I can see that could be a problem is in the history with the mention of blood implicating violence. I believe in the context of his story, it works but I'm not sure if Senior RP staff will agree.

Anyway, terrific job!

:D:D:D

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Hi Dave247!

Looks like you've done a lot of work on this app, and overall, this app looks great!

All of the required fields are filled and it is well written.

The only thing I can see that could be a problem is in the history with the mention of blood implicating violence. I believe in the context of his story, it works but I'm not sure if Senior RP staff will agree.

Anyway, terrific job!

:D:D:D

Thanks! That's understandable but I specifaclly set it up so that it impiles that the cut the young colt got was from the broken glass while he was escaping which is something I woulden't conider to be violent. What happened before then is completly unknown and uninportant to the backstory.

I could change it a little if need be though like trying to tone it down, like "the small amount of blood that was still coming from it,", but I feel that is needed for consistency and also plays a major part of what happens next. I've already tried to keep it toned down as possable so I'm not sure what else I could do...

The reason why I went with blodd to begin with was I needed something for my character to follow and that seemed like the most logical thing to use to me.

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