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LegendaryEmerald
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Note: If this thread belongs in the "request" section, please have it moved. I saw another pre-reader request thread in this subsection though, so that is where I chose to put this.

Hello all. My name is Legendary Emerald. My primary intent when joining this site was to be involved in the RP community, but I've had my time taken up by both RL activities and a certain fanfiction project that I've been working on for almost a year now. Time to clear some space in my day to day schedule.

The Subordinate Six (Comedy, Normal) Rated PG

Las Pegasus, the entertainment capital of Equestria. Lyra and Bon Bon arrive in the city prepared to start a new life, but old vestiges of the past seem to be following them. For instance, there's a wall-eyed mailmare living next door, and some traveling magician won't stop proclaiming her own greatness. And Lyra could swear she's seen this pony named 'Vinyl Scratch' before, but Octavia is remaining tight-lipped.

Cast: Lyra, Bon Bon, Derpy, Vinyl, Octavia, Trixie

I'm getting dangerously close to finally marking the first four chapters, which comprise the first "episode" of the "season", as complete, but I really want to be sure of the quality before I upload to FiMFiction and submit to EQD. My previous ponyfanfiction managed to make it onto both sites, so I know how high the standards are for the latter. But I was working with a very talented editor at that time, who no longer has the time to work with me on my current project, due to increased workload at his job.

If you are interested, or have further questions, please reply to this thread or message me privately. I won't be handing out the link to the full story publicly yet, so until its release, editors and pre-readers will be the only ones who will get to see it.

I'll leave you with this small teaser scene, to give you an idea of the story's tone and writing style. Spoilered because of text dump.

[colour=#000000]No other ponies were up and about, making the place feel very empty. She made her way up the outdoor stairwell with some difficulty, her magic aura beginning to fade as the saddlebags repeatedly banged against the steps.[/colour]

[colour=#000000] “Oops. Hope she didn't pack the kitchen sink, or we might have a leaky faucet on our hooves.” Lyra quipped, laughing at her own joke. She set all of the bags down in front of the light blue door labeled #203. “Guess I'll just wait now. And talk to myself. Can't forget that.”[/colour]

[colour=#000000] Lyra stood up on her hind legs and leaned over the railing, looking at the ground below. From her vantage point she could see a pool set up behind the small building. Nopony was in it though, denying Lyra even the simple pleasures of voyeurism.[/colour]

[colour=#000000] When Bon Bon failed to exit the building after an entire minute had passed, Lyra began to look to her left and right shiftily. She slowly backed up towards the door to the apartment, and then turned to face the doorknob. A sly smile crossed over her features as her horn lit up and enveloped the knob in the light.[/colour]

[colour=#000000] “Let's just see...” Lyra said, sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth as gears began to click inside the lock mechanism. So intent was she on her lockpicking that she didn't notice a shadow passing over her.[/colour]

[colour=#000000] “Are you trying to break in?” a voice suddenly asked, causing Lyra to yell and sending her entire body into spasms.[/colour]

[colour=#000000] “I, uh, m-maybe!” Lyra answered in defiance, staring at the gray pegasus in front of her. The mare didn't appear to be staring back, at least not directly. Her yellow eyes, which matched her golden mane and tail, seemed to be looking off in different directions. A goofy smile was plastered across her face.[/colour]

[colour=#000000] “Well you're never going to get inside just by staring at the door.” the mare laughed. She placed her right forehoof over her chest. “Don't worry, I got this.”[/colour]

[colour=#000000] The pegasus took a few steps back towards the railing, and coiled her legs underneath her as her eyes narrowed in determination. Her rear wiggled like a kitten’s, soap bubble cutie mark threatening to float away. Then, with a single, powerful flap of her wings, she charged forward and slammed into the door with her entire body. The door caved under her weight, swinging inside and depositing the comatose mare across the doorstep.[/colour]

[colour=#000000] “Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Lyra asked worriedly. The other pony shakily got her her hooves and began to sway from side to side.[/colour]

[colour=#000000] “Heh heh, everything looks all funny.” she said, eyes facing both directions for the first time. She shook her head a few times and they returned to their crossed state. “Ah, that's better.”[/colour]

[colour=#000000] Lyra laughed in spite of herself, and the other mare joined her. [/colour]

[colour=#000000] “Hey, wait, I know you!” Lyra said, catching her breath. “You're Derpy Hooves. Ponyville's number one mail mare!”[/colour]

[colour=#000000] “That's me!” Derpy said with a smile. “And you're Lyra Heartstrings. Ponyville's number one, uh, heartstring.”

[/colour]

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