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"Becoming the Alicorn" (WIP) (LOOKING FOR OPINIONS)


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Hello everyone! While I wait on the cover art and theme song for my fanfiction "The Subordinate Six" to be finished, I decided to scratch my writers itch by writing a short fic about everyone's favorite subject right now: Alicorn Twilight. The idea for this particular story came to my mind while I tried to sleep this Friday night, and since the idea was still there tonight, I decided it was worth writing down.

I've got the first 2 and a half pages done so far, but its a very rough draft; I just started writing this not even 4 hours ago, I've never used First Person and Present Tense in fiction outside of a classroom setting before, and its also my first time writing for Luna and Celestia. I'm posting what I have here right now so y'all can tell me if I'm doing this right, and if it's actually of any interest to you. I know this subject has been written about to death, but I want to at least make my take on it a little bit different.

So, here it is so far. Story contents inside the spoiler tag.

Everything is happening so fast.

This morning wasn't one of my finer moments. To save myself the embarrassment of going into too much detail, I'll just say that, through a complicated series of events, I sort of ended up casting a spell which had the effect of switching the cutie marks and talents of all my friends. Oops.

Thankfully that spell didn't effect me too, or else I'd have never been able to change things back to the way they were. Sure, I'd had to write my own spell to do it; it wasn't something I'd ever tried before, but there's a first time for anything, you know?

I didn't think it was that big of a deal. After all, Starswirl the Bearded had written thousands of spells in his days. It was about time I followed in his hoof steps and added something to the Canterlot spell archives. I sent the spell sheet off to the Princess for consideration, hoping for little more than open-minded consideration and maybe a “good job”.

Instead, I received 6 tickets for the train, and one of the most bewildering letters I've ever received.

“Dear Twilight Sparkle

I cannot begin to describe the joy I felt upon receiving your last letter. You may not yet know for what reason, but I have included 6 tickets for the train heading to Canterlot. If you are able to, I would like you all to come here at your soonest convenience. There is a celebration to be planned.

~ Princess Celestia”

By the sun, what have I done?

Becoming the Alicorn

by Legendary Emerald

“We are still unsure if this is the correct course of action, Sister.”

Celestia doesn't respond. She has anxiously paced the halls of the castle for most of the hour following the reply of her student. Before then, she had been beating her hooves upon our door, waking us from the only dreams which We can call our own.

“It's time.” she had said, and it took us only a moment to realize the meaning behind those words, when they were spoken with such excitement that we could feel the light radiating from her being. Years she had awaited this moment. Years in which she would have had ample time to reflect on the consequences of her long laid plans.

It is not likely that We will be able to change her mind about this matter, but We will try.

“Sister, We have observed that your hooves have nearly worn out the carpet. Shall We put in an advance contract for the interior decorator, or will you sit for a moment so that we may discuss the matter at hand?” We ask, hoping our attempt at humor will bring Sister out of her stupor.

“There's nothing more to discuss, Luna. Twilight has proven herself ready for ascension.” she replies, giving our question the same attention she would to a tabloid running a feature on the royal cake budget.

“Ready and able are not one and the same.” We point out.

“You underestimate her.”

“We recognize her as a mortal being.”

“Not after tomorrow.” a small smile creeps into her words.

“You know that is not what We...” our words trail off; sister's attempts to 'troll' us will distract us. “She is still young. Too young to be thrust into the role of a princess.”

“You say that as if she won't be given a choice.” she says, nearly sounding offended. “I would never force my student to do something she was not comfortable with.”

“We did not meant to imply anything so vulgar.” We assure her. “However, we both know that she will say yes.”

“We don't know that.” Sister answers. “But I do know my student well. She will be certain to look at the issue from all sides before coming to a decision.”

“This is not one of the simple academic questions you have posed to her before though, is it, Sister?” We point out, and decide to go straight to the heart of the matter. “This is what you have had planned for her ever since you took her in as your own. How can she have a true choice in the matter when her refusal would be tantamount to betraying her beloved mother!?”

During the course of our tirade, We let our voice be raised, for the first time since our return to this world. Sister looks at us with shock, perhaps even indignation. The image of a far away planet flits across our eyes, and We feel the taste of vacuum on our tongue. But when We come to our senses, oxygen still fills our lunges, and it is still the halls of Canterlot Castle in which We stand.

We do not apologize for our outburst, pushing the generosity of our sister yet further. She has stopped her endless pacing.

“I will admit that... I am biased in this matter.” she finally replies, in a voice that almost conveys guilt. “I do wish for Twilight to ascend, as I believe that is what is best for her. But my wishes should not interfere with her decision.”

We nod our head, but say nothing.

“What would you suggest I do?” she asks us plaintively.

“Nothing.” comes our firm answer. We have waited for this moment. “Grant us ten minutes alone with Ms. Sparkle, after you have posed the question of ascension to her. If she still wants to go through with the ascension ritual after We are done with her, We will be silent on the matter forever after.”

It has been our intent to ask for this chance since the start of the conversation. Sister looks at us curiously, perhaps trying to disguise the apprehension she surely must feel towards us. Perhaps she thinks We pose a threat to her student, or at the very least, her well laid plans.

Sister takes in a deep breath from her nostrils, and lets it out likewise.

“Alright. We... I will allow you your chance to give your perspective on the matter to Twilight.” she says, slipping into the olden speech for half of a second. “Ascension was meant to be my gift to her. The last thing I would wish for it to be is a curse.”

Sister stares at us with saddened eyes. It makes us feel uncomfortable.

Read it? Okay. You can probably tell where this story is heading, since I'm following what we currently know about season 3's ending. The next segment will most likely be from Celestia's perspective, so that I can show her thought process more in-depth.

Tell me what you think!

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