Jump to content

Silverheart (Ready)


Pretzelparty
 Share

Recommended Posts

Roleplay Type: World Of Equestria

Name: Silverheart

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Unicorn

Eye Colour: Bright green

Coat: Bright Grey

Mane/Tail: White and slightly curly with silver streaks. Both mane and tail about medium length

Physique: Slender and on the short side. Can easily be mistaken for a mare.

Residence: Born in Trottingham but after joining the Royal guard he is wherever they need him to be.

Occupation: Royal guard

Cutie mark: A shield with a gavel on top

Ever since foalhood he seemed to have a strong desire to keep things orderly. At year one he began to stack and line up number and alphabet blocks and would make an incredible fuss anytime they got knocked over. Even as a colt he could never keep calm unless something was clean or neatly arranged in his classroom to the point he would interrupt his teacher to tell her she left the chalk on her desk and not on the chalkboard tray.

His commitment to keeping things orderly was truly put to it's test when two new students arrived and would constantly make a mess of things in the classroom as well as make a lot of ponies feel bad. This was getting truly annoying for Silverheat because while he may have grated on other classmates he befriended with his quirk for order, one of the things he believed was supposed to be part of order was happiness.

One day on a school sponsored scavenger hunt he was assigned to work with these two delinquents to find the designated objects on the list. They had shown up unkempt and were constantly playing pranks on other participants and eventually on him. The first "prank" was him getting splashed with water, the next was leading him into a deep pit of mud. As he sat their looking at how messy he'd become he realized he just couldn't deal with them anymore. He pulled himself out of the mud and went off on the two, giving them a longwinded and anger ridden speech that left them... speechless and wide eyed, then ... they were sorry. They had said they didn't know their pranks and horseplay was making other ponies miserable. Silverheart felt sorry for them and decided he would teach them how to better conduct themselves around other ponies... or at least understand when that sort of thing was acceptable. As they walked and talked all the way back to the teacher the two pointed out that Silverheart had his cutiemark.

Character History:

Silverheart was born to a mare named Mythic shine and a stallion named Astral Dusk, a pair of rich nobleponies in Trottingham, both of them being rich nobleponies from a long line of talented magic using unicorns. Silverheart was named for his silvery grey coat and his rather tendency to whine whenever he saw somepony or some creature sad. When he went to school he was often confused for a filly to the point even teachers would make that mistake. Silverheart would often have difficulty making friends in school because of his fervent belief in keeping things orderly and that all things should be a certain way. After getting his cutie mark on his school Scavenger hunt and deducing it's meaning he spent a fair amount of time trying to figure a profession that would be the best suited for his talent. One day after seeing a guard in trottingham helping out the citizens and seeing how happy ponies were to receive his help he figured that was the job he should do.

Due to his lineage and seemingly having a knack for learning spells quickly he was eventually chosen to attend the School for gifted unicorns in Canterlot. There he excelled at several subjects, with his most problematic subjects were healing magic and illusion spells. Despite his magical aptitude it never really made him happy as he didn't think magical skill alone was fitting for a guard, so when he had free time or was certain he didn't need to study he would often work out and try and make himself more fitting of how he thinks a guard should be.

During their time together Silverheart was rather distant to his sister while still remaining close and keeping a watchful eye on her. Any problems they had were typically dealt with by her brother's potent magic even when Presteza was usually the one who dragged them into trouble. SIlverheart never really took the time to watch his sister paint, in his mind this was just a tedious chore he had to deal with and the sooner he got it over with the sooner he could apply to the guard.

One night on a trip to the peaks of the northern mountains that bordered where the (now not so)mythical crystal kingdom he had one of the more sobering nights of his life. The biting cold of a blizzard had left both the sibling's tensions high which culminated in a fight. It didn't take him a less than a second to realize his mistake but he wasn't fast enough to apologize before sister shouted that if he felt that way he should just go home and leave her alone before she galloped into the storm all alone. Silverheart bolted after her but the snow covered her hoof-prints faster than he could track her down. The stallion could just kick himself, he really messed up, he had insulted his sister in a way he knew would get under her skin and he still had said it like it was an undeniable fact to a filly who had thought she found something that could make other ponies happy. After several hours that seemed like an eternity the stallion was just about ready to give up hope and have to wait until the storm ended but he needed shelter first. Lucky for him he found a cave that could keep him safe until the storm ended; he could only hope his sister had done the same.

Once he came in from the cold he saw what could be the most relieving sight in his life. He saw his little sister crying and shivering. The stallion manage to calm his sister down a bit and explain that it was him and he was looking for her all night. He was about to apologize again when he was cut off by his little sister throwing herself against him and sobbing, saying how happy she was to see him. The night in the mountains had given silverheart a kind of revelation. While she spent most of his life believing that things had to be a certain way and any deviation from convention could be disatrous he realized that... sometimes an unsuspected change could be quite a good experience

The day had finally come, his sister had grown up and now was strong enough to take care of herself... although he worried about her naivety. She was still pretty new to things outside of the Trottingham nobility. The siblings had decided to part ways at Dodge Junction's train station. The two have each other a farewell hug and Silverheart got on the train. As he took his seat he felt sad he didn't have anything he could give her to remember him by. As his eyes drifted to his favorite blue scarf he remember the night in the mountains and realized, it looked pretty good on her and quickly wrote down a note. Galloping to the caboose as the train's whistle blew he levitated the scarf over to his still waving sister's neck and wrapped it around her. He could tell she wanted to give it back but the train was already leaving and he felt his note explained enough.

Upon getting back home he made his way to the closest barracks and applied. soon enough he was excepted although his looks once again came back to haunt him as he was mistaken for a mare multiple times during the application process. During the training process Silverheart performed admirably although his weak build caused quite a few problems, but his use of magic seemed to more than make up for it. After joining the guard he learned it was not nearly as exciting as he thought, so he tended to jump at the chance to help anypony who needed it. Since first joining he has come to accept that the job of a guard is to protect Equestria and help it's citizens and is considerably more laid back when it comes to his job. Every month he sends a letter back to his family in Trottingham, often asking how his sister is doing on the road... and worrying himself to death if the letter arrives later than usual.

Character Summary:

While Silverheart may appear rather annoying due to his insistence on cleanliness, he is actually very sweet and quite kind. due to his sheltered lifestyle he is still very naive about the lifestyle of common ponies to the point he could be considered thick headed, which isn't too far off. Silverheart is very prone to spacing out and daydreaming especially when bored. While he is a very magically inclined unicorn he was taught as a colt many times that those who have great gifts should not be prone to brag about them so he rarely mentions his magical aptitude or his time at the school for gifted unicorns to anypony and lets his skill speak for itself when the need arises;such as when somepony needs help or rescuing.

While he does have a bit of pride due to his noble lineage, he does not subscribe to the thought that the upperclass is fundamentally better than the normal ponies that allow them to even maintain their normally lavish lifestyle. He understands that the commonponies are just as important to Equestria as the princesses are and is determined to treat them kindly but not tolerate those who misbehave. On his time off duty Silverheart often find himself either reading, knitting or sewing, the books series he often reads often include a lot of adventure stories such as a Daring do. When off duty he is often seen wearing a bright blue scarf that he made himself. Often his interactions with other ponies can be quite pleasant as long as they don't appear dirty or unkempt. His obsession with order often shows itself at it's worst when he sees a messy room or when a letter arrives late or if he misses an appointment to the point he will become borderline depressed and viewing himself as a failure, luckily he can be easily snapped out of it and will work very hard to fix any situation within his abilities.

What does not help other ponies confusion between Silverheart's gender would be his very androgynous but leaning toward feminine sounding voice. Since he kept finding his mane would grow back very fast after cutting it he eventually relented and just let it grow out. While he still is occasionally bored by the lack of action in the guard he still believes Equestria needs to remain vigilant, especially with the attack on Canterlot during the royal wedding. His dream as of lately is to raise through the ranks of the R.E.A. and command his own mares and stallion's one day and bring as much order to the world as he can. When on duty he has to wear a smaller than average set of of armor that was designed for mares and often prefers to wear his scarf instead of his standard issue helmet. His time In the REA has earned him a small reputation among others members as being overly tidy and somewhat stoic, but genuinely kind and loyal to his friends.

Portait:

silverheartfinal_by_theoddfoxx-d6thhgq.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you for your patience. As always, here are my comments:

  • Time to let you in on a little "secret": while we make every effort to make the setting of World of Equestria fit with the world established by show canon, there are times when we won't allow certain individual things from the show into WoE because they don't mesh at all with the basic mishmash ancient Greece/medieval/turn-of-the-20th century that the majority of FiM depicts most of the time. Namely, most of the highly technological gag items you see pop up here and there are not sources we allow users to use when drafting WoE characters. "The Mysterious Mare Do Well" particularly is a gross offender of breaking setting continuity, dumping all sorts of high-tech settings and items for the sake of action sequences. As a rule, don't let that episode inspire you too much when writing WoE apps.
  • With that explained, I have to ask you to remove the reference to the modern-style construction zone in your OC's Cutie Mark story. Other changes to that story will have to be made too, based on what I have to say below.
  • Unfortunately, we can't allow characters in WoE to use shape-shifting spells of any sort, especially ones that transform an OC into a more powerful state. We've never seen any magic of this sort on the show itself, and ultimately, WoE characters should be designed with personality in mind: NOT by what super-duper abilities. If you really want Silverheart to keep this ability, you're best off making him a Canterlot Chronicles OC instead, where we do encourage more action-oriented characters.
  • Remove the three paragraphs in the History section about your OC and his sister being trapped in the mountains. Not only do we really don't want angsty elements popping up in WoE backstories, but those paragraphs... honestly don't add anything important to the app at all. All it does is read like a short story that doesn't tell us anything new about the character. Removing the three paragraphs I mentioned will make your History an easier read for users.
  • In general, cut down drastically on all the material that focuses on your OC's sister instead of the OC. This app is about Silverheart; not the sister. A few sentences to describe their relationship will suffice for the purposes of your History field. On a related note, unicorns having limited magical ability shouldn't be a big deal at all. The vast majority of unicorns can only levitate objects with their magic, and nothing more.

That said, you have a good foundation for the Character Summary, which is by far the most important part of a WoE application. But this app will require plenty of work before it meets WoE standards. As I mentioned earlier, this OC just might be a better fit for CC instead, so feel free to take that option into consideration. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...