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Darkshift {Ready}

QueenChrysalis747

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QueenChrysalis747 Alicorn

QueenChrysalis747

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Name: Darkshift [uses same name in both forms]

Gender: Stallion

Age: older colt, near stallion age

Species: Changling/Unicorn

Eye color: Purple [both forms

Character color: As a Changling he is slightly lighter then your average changling. As a Unicorn he is snow white with a black muzzle and hooves along with the tips of his ears.

Mane/Tail/Other: He, like his changling brethren, has a fin like mane that matches the color of his pelt, his tail though, while fashioned the same way as a changling, is white. As a Unicorn his mane is a light blue color with a very faint light purple highlight to it. His mane is short and spiky and his tail shares the same design.

Physique: Darkshift is a very scrawny changling and this trait carries over to his Unicorn form, he uses this physique to his advantage as he is very fast. Despite this he chose a Unicorn form over Pegasus as he could not live without use of magic. He is also fairly tall, coming just under the height of the Changling Queen herself, he still cannot figure out why this is.

Residence: Darkshift usually lives within the Whitetail forest near Ponyville, he feels it is much safer then the Everfree and many coupes take trips down the paths of the forest, giving him a quick and easy food source without worrying or alerting anypony.

Occupation: Darkshift has no Occupation, though as a Unicorn he helps where he can for a few bits.

Cutie Mark: As a Changling he has no Cutie mark but he made up a mark to appear on his Unicorn form, a tornado with black streaks in it, he based it off his name and uncanny speed.

Unique Traits: While not terribly magically inclined Darkshift has quite a knack for speed and agility, out racing most standard changelings.

History: Raised as any typical Changling was he grew up and was taught inside the Hive, learning about there dependency on Love and how more love made them stronger and faster. He was taught to be a recon scout, due to his speed and his agility, he could scan an area quickly and report back faster then a normal scout, making him a valuable asset to the Queen during many of there missions. He was also a loyal changling, wanting nothing less then impressing Chrysalis herself, she was an Idol to him. Due to his idolization of the Queen he became very competitive in the hive, wanting nothing more then to challenge others to friendly duels and competitions in order to impress Chrysalis and show her how independent and strong he was. His view of the Queen changed when she did the unthinkable, she invaded Canterlot, at first he didn't think much of it, assuming it to be a stealth infiltration mission as he was sent in with other scouts to stay there for a little while in disguise to scout out the city and see how it was mapped out and placement of tactical choke-points. He also was part of the assault in the first stages including breaking down the barrier, he quickly changed his mind once he saw his brethren capturing and enslaving the ponies of Canterlot. He quickly fled from Canterlot, he didn't want to, his Loyalty made him want to stay and he understood obtaining love was vital and stealing was sometimes inevitable, but to try to conquer a city and enslave its population was going too far, he couldn't bear the thoughts and swore not to return to the Hive until this changed. He fled to the Everfree and watched Ponyville from a distance, occasionally taking a false pony form he devolved and created himself, based off a Stallion he had seen long ago, with this form he would go into the town and explore. He has found ways to obtain love from ponies without physically touching them, and, as long as he doesn't get greedy he also doesn't hurt them. He moved from the Everfree after a run in with a Cragodile and found his way into the Whitetail forest, it is much safer there and much more welcoming, he now only leaves when he needs to, feeling he was pushing his luck before.

Character Summary/Personality: Darkshift isn't a cruel or heartless pony, but he is also far from a good pony, while he has found ways to avoid harming ponies he will if he feels he must, this may lead him to putting a pony to sleep to feed as he feels they are still free and are not enslaved. He has not harmed any pony severely to date, of course some awake woozy, but its just like getting blood drawn and they get better quickly, he makes sure that they are safe afterwards by hiding within the shadows or watching them a day after to make sure they are healing quite fine. He is a very competitive pony and is always down for a challenge, even if he knows he will lose embarrassingly, he will make an excuse and just turn head and leave, he was always like this even within the hive, he always wanted to be the best, he did this mainly to impress his Queen, now he does it it impress Mares. He can get a bit cocky and overconfident at points and a bit full of himself, but he also knows his limits, though he never admits them, he hates to lose but if he knows it is inevitable then he gives in with dignity, but angry. He feels strong loyalty toward Chrysalis but hates what the Hive and the Queen did during the Canterlot crisis, he stands firmly against the Hive and there beliefs, then again, he has flimsy mind that has had his hopes and family beliefs broken after the Crisis. Overall Darkshift is not a dangerous Changling, just a lost pony unsure what to do with his life anymore, though do be warned, if you know of his secret and try to tell others he will go after you, not to harm but to scare you off to try to keep himself a secret.

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DerpRavener Equestrian

DerpRavener

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If there was any particular bit of advice I could offer, it would be that as things are the character personality and history come across as kinda disconnected from each other. As it is I can't see how his personality affected his upbringing, or how his history maybe have influenced his attitudes.

As an example: you mention that he is very competitive. Was this always a part of his personality, or was it something that developed in his time with the hive? How has it affected his decisions and the consequences thereof? Has it ever gotten him in trouble?

Some other, more general questions: What was his role in the hive? Did he do well in it? Did he like it? He ultimately fled the hive, did he have a history of disregard for authority or was that particular case anomalous? Now that he's left and found himself a semi-permanent residence, is there anything in particular that he's done? Does he have any preferred feeding patterns or locations? Also, why is he particularly fast for a changeling, and how has that effected him?

You don't necessarily need to answer all of these, I bring them up as possibilities for expansion.

Personally, I think you've got a decent base, what you need more than anything else is to flesh out some of the specific points relating to his history and personality. and to tie them together a little more so that the overall character is a little more consistent.

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Mojo Alicorn

Mojo

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Hi MoonliteFrost!

Normally, we RPH don't analyze an app until it has reached 'Ready' status, but since you asked for a review now, I will be happy to give you one!

First of all, it looks like all the required fields are filled, which is always a plus.

This app is brief in places, but descriptive. You might want to expand a bit in the 'History' and 'Character Summary' sections. .

Also, this app is very difficult to read in some places because the font is too small. Please enlarge the font a bit.

Great app! Keep working at it!

:D:D:D

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