Bright Spark [Ready]

[Ross]

I'm not english native, so be patient with my errors please.

 

Roleplay type: World of Equestria

Name: Bright Spark

Age: Colt, near Stallion

Gender: Male

Species: Pegasus

Coat: Very bright brown

Mane: His mane is a mix of red and some shade of yellow. The "hairs" don't go far on his neck but make and heavy highlight near his forehead.

Tail: His tail is falling flat behind him, near to touch the ground, she's rough and only yellow, the color looks like corn.

He don't really pay attention to his mane and tail.

Physique: He got a small constitution, he can easily be confused with a mare.

Residence: Bright don't actually live in any town, he's travelling from his parents' house (near Sveltahorse) to Trottingham.

Occupation: He just finished his study who was about the history of Equestria and how magic is working.

Cutie Mark: His cutie mark is a dark spark. This spark is the representation of his inner spark, the one that can be seen in the eyes of someone really happy. The same that can burn out when someone falls in depression. For him, this spark will never burn out. He's also one of those, like Cheese Sandwich, that bring hope along his path. That isn't a superpower or a surnatural ability but somepony with their smile, wisdom or advice can light up any burn out spark.

Bright is one of these ponies. The color is a warning that he isn't aware off, if his own spark burn out, his talent will be reversed and he will spread despair and sorrow in his path.

 

I talk about how he get his CM in the History part.

 

Unique Traits:

Bright is like an "emotion sponge", he always finds the way to help people that are surrounded by their emotions, but doing that "hurt" his mind and he needs to take away the pressure in the next days. When he let it out, his personality change a little, he becomes moody and reckless for sometime.

That isn't a superpower-like, just a social interaction capacity.

 

History:

He's born in a small farm near Sveltahorse. His mother is a pegasus who's handle the farm mostly be herself, the main vegetable that's growing in her farm is pumpkin. Bright's father is a unicorn who was teaching magic at Canterlot.

Their name are respectively Fiery Temper and Blue Wisthle. He goes to school at Sveltahorse during the most of his childhood, but one day, his father decides to handle himself his son's education. Bright start to study Equestria's history and how magic work, during these studies he was more interested about the ancient magic than the one that actually used. Despite he can't use magic, he learns really easily all the theory.

 

One day, he decides to leave his parents to go discover the world that he studies during the last years. This announcement was stress-full for his parents, but they did not try to change his mind. After some hug, advice and preparation, he left his home and he began his first travel with some bits, his knowledge and a reckless smile for company. Today, we're at the beginning of his journey, he wants to reach the royal library and actually, his hooves and wings are leading him to Trottingham.

 

About how he got his CM.

 

When he was young, during a week-end, he was giving a hoof to his mother for the harvest of the pumpkin, his father was out of the farm for some days, they were both alone working in this Jack's garden. At a moment, when they were near the farm's well, Bright tried to catch the bucket, slips on the edge and start to fall in the well. His mother jumps and catch him, but she thump her head against the bucket, the shock makes her faint and both of them fall in the well. His mom break both her wings and they were waiting for a long time. Nobody was around to help them. Bright try a lot to climb or use his wings, but he didn't know yet how to fly.

 

However, he didn't lose hope. Each fails make him more confident about his capacities. During one of his innumerable try. He felt something weird in his chest, like a new energy who was surrounding his body. Hi didn't notice the cutie mark that was just inscribing on his thigh. He successfully flying out of the well and found help for his mother.

 

The whole story is here.

 

 

Character personality:

Bright is naturally kind and helpful with the others, but it's difficult for him to trust in someone, he prefer count on his own abilities.

He's a fast learner with a strong will, that hard to take away his smile. But, he can really be selfish sometime with things that are precious for him, like ancient knowledge of forgotten artifact. Actually, he got three dreams: gather the knowledge about all the different kind in the world, unify all the kingdoms under one banner and become immortal. Those dreams and the way he trusts in himself make him sometime become megalomaniac.

 

Character summary:

Bright Spark is a young pegasus who's making his first journey, he studies magic with Blue Wisthle, his father, who was a great magic teacher. He's a little bit reckless, but he's kind and helpful with the other, he still can be selfish and megalomaniac when he found something that can help him to achieved one of his goal. He live only with the bits that his parents let him, he actually wants to go in the Royal Library to search a location where he can learn more about our world's creation.

 

[Ross]

I up this post, I've just finished it.

[Ross]

Someone around to check this?

[Bellosh]

Sorry for the long wait, but's some feedback finally:

• First things first, a proper paragraph always consists of multiple sentences. As far as filling in your OC app is concerned, a paragraph should never be just a single sentence. Organizing posts correctly is an important skill to have in World of Equestria, it helps your fellow roleplayers better understand what's going on.
• On that note, there are multiple spelling and grammar errors in your app. Use a spell checker to fix what you can, because other RPers find get confused over a post due to a word being improperly spelled. Being able to proofread your work is also a very important skill for WoE players to have.
• Your CM story only needs to be 1 or 2 paragraphs at most. A concise summary without dialogue or scene-by-scene descriptions is all we're really looking for.

We'll be back once you've made the requested edits.

[Ross]

Thanks for the feedback.

 

- I add more sentences, now someone who wants to read my OC won't suffocate anymore.

 

- I've done the proofread before I tag [Ready] but I think I've forgot to save...

 

-Done, I put the link to the story after the resume.

[SteelEagle]

Howdy there! The content is fine, so all we need to do is get the paragraph problem solved, then we can accept this app! I like this character.:)

We need you to organize this into paragraphs. This way we know during an RP that the people you play with will be able to follow and understand. Here is an example:

"He's born in a small farm near Sveltahorse.

His mother is a pegasus who's handle the farm mostly be herself, the main vegetable that's growing in her farm is pumpkin.

Bright's father is a unicorn who was teaching magic at Canterlot.

Their name are respectively Fiery Temper and Blue Wisthle.

He goes to school at Sveltahorse during the most of his childhood, but one day, his father decides to handle himself his son's education. Bright start to study Equestria's history and how magic work, during these studies he was more interested about the ancient magic than the one that actually used. Despite he can't use magic, he learns really easily all the theory.

One day, he decides to leave his parents to go discover the world that he studies during the last years.

This announcement was stress-full for his parents, but they did not try to change his mind. After some hug, advice and preparation, he left his home and he began his first travel with some bits, his knowledge and a reckless smile for company.

Today, we're at the beginning of his journey, he wants to reach the royal library and actually, his hooves and wings are leading him to Trottingham."

Should instead be more like this:

"He's born in a small farm near Sveltahorse. His mother is a pegasus who's handle the farm mostly be herself, the main vegetable that's growing in her farm is pumpkin. Bright's father is a unicorn who was teaching magic at Canterlot. Their name are respectively Fiery Temper and Blue Wisthle. He goes to school at Sveltahorse during the most of his childhood, but one day, his father decides to handle himself his son's education. Bright start to study Equestria's history and how magic work, during these studies he was more interested about the ancient magic than the one that actually used. Despite he can't use magic, he learns really easily all the theory.

 

One day, he decides to leave his parents to go discover the world that he studies during the last years.This announcement was stress-full for his parents, but they did not try to change his mind. After some hug, advice and preparation, he left his home and he began his first travel with some bits, his knowledge and a reckless smile for company. Today, we're at the beginning of his journey, he wants to reach the royal library and actually, his hooves and wings are leading him to Trottingham."

If you can go through your application and do this, we will be dandy.:)

[Ross]

Effectively with paragraphs that's better! That's clearer now?

[SteelEagle]