Damnit Jim I'm a Draconequus not a Pony!

[RexDraco]

@PrinceBlueblood @moonshineTheleocat

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And so it was Discord was on the hunt once more. For such a peaceful chaos spirit he sure had a sneaky streak. After a bit of fun and games with Slim Chance he had himself a little rest and decided to visit other Canterlonian citizens. Blueblood was his next target. After their winter fling involving spaghetti and flying meatball monsters it was safe to say that he owed the poor noble a normal bowl of pasta. This time the meatballs were not tiny gremlins, but the bowl as a whole made amusing flatulence noises whenever you opened the tupperware.

Pfft.

“Hehehehe. He’ll enjoy that.” The spirit amused himself with the dish. Soon he floated his way to the property in question.

 

Curling his tail he would give the door a knock twice over before pushing in with a bellow and cheer. “Good evening fellow ponies!” He removed his hat and placed it aside, making sure to scrape his boots, which he suddenly had in the midst of a muggy summer’s day… and tossed them aside henceforth!

[Blueblood]

It had not been an easy past few days... or weeks, for the Royal Scion of House Blueblood.  Notwithstanding the extraordinary chaos that passed for ordinary life in Ponyville, which he had found himself involved in through no wish of his own, there were all the normal duties of his Royal Station.  And the latter wasn't made any easier by the time he'd lost as a foal in the middle of the biggest daycare center in Equestria.

 

*And just when did your life become so busy that a few hours of lost work put you so hopelessly behind?*  Ever since starting IMAGINE, he supposed, and finding himself serving as the official unofficial diplomat of Equestria's interests and ideals.  Piled on top of the normal business of estate management and the social calendar... The normally impeccable stallion was looking a bit frazzled, and everyone in his manor would have been able to see it.  Especially a certain honor guard whom he had criminally little time alone with lately...

 

"Who can that be?"  Blueblood wondered aloud, in a slightly exasperated tone of voice, to Star Crusader, his top guard and special marefriend.  He'd so been hoping to snatch a precious hour after the work of the day was done to spend with her, but every new visitor shrunk that rare window of time.  But, duty called again.  He couldn't present a rude face to a guest, and went down to greet the newcomer, a polite smile fixed on his face.

 

Said smile did not so much fade as drain into a puddle upon the floor when he caught sight of his guest.  "Oh, dear..."  He barely moved his lips as he moaned.  What new Tartarus of chaotic magic was he going to be dragged through this time?  Enough to bury him work afterwards for Faust-knew-how-long, for sure.  But, be brave, great Prince!  Fix your eyes and your visage, and step forthrightly to greet Discord!  With a deep breath, he did his best.

 

"Well, hello again.  To what do we owe the... pleasure, of your visit?"

[moonshineTheleocat]

As always, the captain of Blueblood’s personal guard personally sought to it that the prince, and her special somepony, would never be left unprotected. The colossal mare possibly built only out of sculpted concrete with steel bones for support stuck by his side at all times. Through his daily washes, yes washes, in the wash room and through nights when he slept. And this day was no different.

When the guest for the moment left the office, Crusader gently closed the door behind him and stalked across the room to give the stallion a loving nuzzle. “No need to concern yourself with worry about spreading your attention onto me,” Crusader said with a soft voice. Though the stoicness was still there and strong, it did soften only a tiny bit. Detectable to those who know her well. There was a small glint of humor in her eyes as her tone shifted in just the slightest way to beg an implication. “When the today spans to the night, the time will come shortly after.”

 

Though… all of the playfulness the mare had shown was quickly suppressed as her ear picked up a soft thumping noise from down the hall. Her head lifted and her attention turned to the door leading outside of the office. Odd… the next appointment wasn’t due for some ti- then it seems whom ever it was had let themselves in.

The mare frowned and quickly ripped the large shield from her back. You could almost hear the muscles flex under that armor. “Stay behind me sir,” The mare stated gruffly before pushing out the door. She moved her hulking body as effortlessly as a bird may fly through the air. And though her hoof steps were definitely not subtle… she did not look like she was stomping about.

The mare’s head poked around the corner… and her eyes soon narrowed at the sight of a familiar face. With a low sigh, she lifted her shield over her head and replaced it on the magnets that secured it to her back.

 

“I assume he’s grown bored of tormenting the shy one…” The mare mused. Her eyes scanning the dragonequis’s face for any hint of his intentions. But sadly… that might be a futile effort given how unreadable a chaotic mug could be. And despite relaxing… she did not drop her guard. The Prince remained behind and very close by. And her solid body had already primed the many coils for a devastating punch if needed. “… know this. Unlike Fluttershy, I will not tolerate any ill intent.”

[RexDraco]

The spirit delighted in playing games from the early morning to late at night. How else did an immortal draconequus entertain himself on the daily? His long, stretched body curled toward the bottom as his tail formed a spring-like shape and settled itself on the ground. He raised his hind legs and folded those equine ears back as his grin pulled back ear to ear at the sight of the two making themselves known. Well it seemed they were a pair of peas in a pod! He held his gift with care: his larger paw on the underside while his claw daintily touched along the top cover to keep the contents from spilling out and the toot noises from expelling before the surprise was set! He snorted at the mare’s words as his mismatched eyes traveled up the behemoth of a pegasus.

 

 

“How rude! If you must know madam goliath, Fluttershy much enjoys my delightful company! Besides I am reformed from my antler tip to my tail’s tuf.” He provided proof by wiggling his tail’s fluff puff like a free-formed paw. His eyes drifted toward Blue before he vanished and appeared behind the pair holding out the pasta dish. “Though from my angle -- Blue you look as if you were run over by the very cart that pulls you from statehood to statehood.” He would tease, though the vision of a frazzled patron of goodwill was quite obvious. “Don’t tell me Lulu even drags you about as your eyes have the dark halves of the moon dangling beneath them.” The wordy snake hissed as he floated upside down, crossing his hindlegs and holding out his forelimbs in a shrug.

 

He always seemed to move from topic to topic with the grace of a cat ambling along a fence’s ledge. The wave he weaved between, in and out of words was quite amazing considering his age, but more over his limited ability to communicate in a way that mortals could more easily comprehend. It was one reason the visual cues of his verbal jabs aided him, whilst his more memetic and rather trope spun words did often leave some groaning. He put his paw and claw to his sides as he rotated to correct his gravitational positioning around the pair.

[Blueblood]

Such sweet promises of time to spend with Star Crusader after dark were contingent upon the Prince not collapsing in exhaustion immediately after concluding the business of the day.  Which he had, in fact, done so more than once in the past few weeks.  Not that his sleep had been relaxing; too short, for one thing, and such dreams that only served to repeat and exaggerate the cares of his waking hours.  It could not have been any surprise, therefore, that Blueblood could only blink at the antics of the draconeqqus, feeling that he lacked the mental fortitude to deal with the bundle of primeval chaos dropped upon his doorstep.  Thank goodness for a strong mare to lean against, physically and metaphorically.

 

Not wanting to show too much weakness, it was just a gentle brush against her side, enough to draw a little strength from her.  Getting a hold of himself while Discord bantered against her implied threat, he took a deep breath and answered back.  "I don't think it's Auntie Luna's fault, I've just... been busy."  He looked over at the bowl held out.  "Is that... is it lunchtime already?"  Technically, that had been a full hour ago.  And he'd missed it.  

 

 

[moonshineTheleocat]

Most mares might have been insulted from being called goliath. Some may think it means they are fat. But to Crusader, it meant very little. It could even be a compliment. But she definitely knew that it is what it is. She was a large mare, no shame in that. But she still wasn’t put at ease by the creature’s smooth choice of words and mannerisms. She was still dealing with a creature of chaos, and one that had betrayed good friends at that.

When her eyes spotted the pasta bowl being offered out she reached out with a hoof to gently take the tubberwear. One wing moved to crack the lid open so she could take a peak. Though she was greeted by a very rude ‘PRRRFTT’ noise and a gust of wind strong enough to lift her bangs and nudge her pony tail.

The mare… remained with the lid open as the bowl continued with it’s work. It died in a few seconds… and for one more good measure gave her a final poot before ceasing. And thank faust the norm was not accompanied by the rude sound.

But the mare? The mare remained stoic as ever. The way her facial expression had remained focused, you’d think nothing had happen at all.

“It is spaghetti…”the mare finally said, informatively. Another hoof lifted to reach into her collar to pull out what looks to be a toothpick. She speared a ball, and popped it into her mouth. “… and meat balls.”

Her lips pursed as she closed the lid. “Tofu seems to be the main substance. However other additives are there too for flavor and texture. Beans, beats, small hint of carrot, a little bit of sea weed. And I believe there are some nuts. Pinch of salt-kosure, pepper, and finally traces of rosemary”

 

She slowly turned around to offer it to the stallion beside her. “If this is your work, well down Discord. I did not expect to see an amount of harmony in a master of chaos.”

[RexDraco]

Pertaining to such events -- they were indeed a terrible memory. He had never felt so vile. As an immortal being you took pride in your own, personal ego. Despite others finding offense in your ways you always stood above them. His acts beside Tirek had caused him to fall beneath that creature he thought he was. It had all been in good fun, a chance to be chaos in its purest form. Or so he thought. There were many times during the event that he questioned his path, even wondered if he had gone too far. It had been the first time he had worried about the wellbeing of others and the first time he had regretted his actions. Twas never a means to remove that stain, but he could repair it with a better standing, which he suffered to do, albeit in his own way. His efforts were still a bit odd, and mad to those who could not understand him, but they were there.

 

 

Discord clasped his paw and claw over his muzzle as the mare was subjected to the meal’s -- humor. Landing down on the ground he settled on all fours, standing at about the height of an adult stallion Earth Pony. Swiveling his ears forward he moved to flop on his rump, settling his forelimbs between his haunches. “Yes, while Miss Star recounts the ingredients… I made it for lunch today and had some left over.” He assured. “At least I forwent the nutmeg.” Though why was that important? He motioned his paw. “I was in the neighborhood actually. Visiting so I thought I’d dropped in. Hadn’t visited since the winter.” ANd goodness he has lost weight, though he would, personally, admit to only dropping that extra layer of feathers.

 

The pasta did smell quite good and it was freshly made chaos! Nutritious too. Aside from its toots it seemed quite normal. Though not really. Tooting pasta is never normal.

 

“Goodness Blue you look purple in the face.” He looked to Star. “And as usual you look as if you’re ready to bench press me with your eyebrows. How is your flower arranging by the way? Good?” He settled back and crossed his forelimbs over his chest. “You know I think you need a vacation. Rarity would surely suggest the same thing, perhaps even pay for it, but I can do one better…” He sat back and let his paw stroke over his chin thoughtfully.

[Blueblood]

The inner part of Blueblood that was common to all stallions, the eternal adolescent, warred with the rest of his elegant self over whether or not he ought to be amused by something so patently juvenile.  He only managed to stifle his laughter, not a puffed-cheek kind of smile.  Even that had only been made possible by the fact that such a wind had brought a far more attractive smell than such sonic explosions tended to be associated with.  In this case, a well-made pasta dish with delicious lumps of protein in it.  

 

"Ah, excellent!"  He rendered judgment as Star presented him with the dish.  He raised a hoof, and a maid was already approaching with a pair of forks.  Twirling a delicate noodle with a bite of the meatball speared upon the tines, he took his sample, smiling as the harmonious melody of flavors spread across his tongue.  Instantly, his stomach awoke, reminding him of how hungry he was, and spurred him onward to a second and third bite with alacrity!

 

Once the initial bout of hunger had been dealt with, the Prince sighed, swallowing a bit of sauce lingering behind his teeth.  "Vacation?"  He repeated, as if unfamiliar with the term.  It had honestly been a while since he wasn't busy doing something, either in an official or personal capacity.  And, well, he was getting pretty frazzled, but there was the trouble of leaving things to pile up in his absence...

 

"Hmm, what do you think?"  He asked Star, unaware that Discord had his own plans, from which Royalty gave him little power to dissuade.

[moonshineTheleocat]

Star Crusader listened carefully to Discord’s story. And frankly, things seemed to somewhat checkout. The keyword here is somewhat as a being such as he typically never leaves home without a plan for the day. And it was that plan that had Crusader worried. He may have turned a new leaf, but it does not mean that he has changed completely. What might he do with the young prince? Turn him into a frog? As much as Crusader would be willing to test that kiss, she was sure a spell like that wouldn’t simply turn over.

“Benchpress with my eye brows?” The mare asked with a raised brow. It dropped back down as she shook her head, “No. Curl you with my tail.” She seemed to hesitate for a moment. Her tail wiggled a bit, and she made a mental note to exercise that appendage soon. Never know when you need to flagellate a nay-doer with your tail after all.

 

“And if you must know my gardening is do…..” She paused again, her head visibly recoiling as she detected something off. When did he even… she shook her head. It was probably nothing. He’s likely an omnipotent being… only her thoughts were safe. Fortunately she wasn’t a mare to write things down in a journal. She kept all those nasty fanfictions in her head. Yes sirry.

And when asked about the vacation. The mare thought long and hard. “… the monarch of chaos does have a point. You have been running yourself ragged lately. It would be rude to cancel your appointments… but I am afraid it will be necessary for your benefit.”

The mare then tilted her head to give the stallion an inquisitive look. “If you do plan on taking this vacation,  whom would you like to take care of things? P.Smith, or Sine? P.Smith is very professional and will likely handle things in a clean way. And Sine… well the wild cat appears to be incredibly efficient with dealing with difficult ponies. Or would you like to see if NIles is able to handle his own?”

[RexDraco]

 

Omnipotent or simply not: the spirit did sometimes caught on quickly to a pony's more affluent hobby. It wasn't as if they kept such a thing secret. It was practiced enough to become a clockwork habit you could easily set a watch to. Oh ponies like to think they were secretive, but they were, by far the most predictable and unpredictable in the most paradoxical fashion that delighted the spirit. It was l, indeed, so much fun: he had taken to one of their more disorganized hobbies of Ogres and Oubliettes. Quite a wonderful game of with, chance, and skill. Of which the spirit boasted all three! It was a shame Crusader didn't fall into the trap. She quickly caught onto the leasing words which sought to hook the mare into a gag. Soon Crusader. Soon.

Leave it to Blue to have his aunt's lighter sense of humor. It was something the chimeric serpent could appreciate, but alas he resisted the giggles that are often a result of such a foalish noise. This one was, at least, accompanied by the delightful scent of freshly made pasta! Who could resist such a treat? Discord was no slouch when it came to preparing food either. Consider it a free lesson from Fluttershy where an obnoxious amount of detail went into preparing a meal that was not quite the norm! Tooting pasta at least was a step up from tiny, flying spaghetti monsters. The smug spirit would nearly burst as Blue all but swan do certain into what was, for him, indirect consent to play a game.

Crusader only aides in the influential suggestion. "Oh please, why worry, why wait?!" With a snap of his claws he would manifest another home who looked rather posh. With a white mustache in the place of a curly wizard's beard the opposing, discordian figure was dressed up, all dapper, in a grey suit. He bowed, tipping his bowler cap, cane in his gloves claw. "Leave it to Accord he'll have everything up and running in perfect order in no time." Perfect order seemed just as dangerous as pure chaos.

The spirit would appear floating between mare one and stallion two. His paw would rest on Blue, who seemed.ro enjoy the pasta, and his claw rest on Star's shoulder, his eyes pinching up in amusement. He curled back and clapped his paw and claw together before sliding his paw back against his skull creating a most delightful pompadour of blond that was shaped like a cannon and stiff enough to balance a bagel. The spirit was than bound in a noodle fitting, leopard print one piece suit of spandex. Setting a headset microphone onto his skull the draconequus was ready to open the way.

"Please. Leave it to me. You'll need naught but the noses on your face." Were they so inclined to not step from the path of his magical snap: they would be stripped, with gusto, of their current cloth and armorment for more relaxing wear (though it wouldn't be of any surprise if for Crusader relaxing meant keeping them).

The spirit reached up and grabbed the walls of existence.

“Welcome to Hoofston Paradise! The world of a thousand and one follies, lollies and lick ‘em lollies!” He would manifest a giant lollipop and hand it to Blue. “Here where, in its center, a magic fountain flows non stop manifesting dreams of wine, mares, stallions, and all manner of enjoyable games, events, and parties all night long! Start licking your envelopes little fillies because this realm will have you writing back home non stop with all the off the wall events!”

As he pushed away the curtain it would be revealed to the two a world beyond a world they had ever imagined yet it was a place within Equus, the draconequus claimed, a land far away, a paradise within a paradise! It all could have been hot air, because something certainly blew them in a southerly direction to the equatorial suana of twin suns, heat and magic. The skies were a deep green and the seas as clear as glass with a beach of black sand that left a hoof feeling warm and miraculously relaxed. They were approached by an entourage of gigantic equine: ponies that seemed more horses with their robust figures and straining muscles meant for the beach. These glorious beach bums would grace the Stallion and his maiden with a garland of lei with various ginger, jasmine and orchid blossoms to welcome their guests. They would be presented with a kiss on the cheek, were they to not squirm away and loudly cheered on as they were met with song and a warm, festive welcome.

"Welcomed by your hosts, natives to Hoofston Paradise!" The spirit declared loudly into his microphone.

When the sea of bodies would, eventually part, the two would be graced with the sight of many other ponies, long, and many other races who have taken to the vacation realm. Some had wholly become part of the local backdrop with flower-print shorts and a mare, or stallion were that their given preference, on each side. We're they to look behind them -- the curtains had closed and the manor? Well it was gone, or at least they were.

[Blueblood]

The mental image of Star Crusader curling Discord with her tail brought a smile to the Prince's lips.  He didn't doubt in the least that she was capable of it, and he very much admired her amazonian capabilities.  Said good mood was also enough to enable him to seriously consider the idea of a vacation.  "Hm, well... I wish I had planned it out beforehand; it's a lot to dump on Psmith at such short notice, but... you're right.  I am wearing out.  But if we're going on a trip, I would insist on nothing too strenuous, I doubt I'd be capable of sailing even without a couple of days R & R.  Still, I would say I'm up for it.  Niles should be able to handle himself, if Sine doesn't try to wrestle him again."  Said musteline companion was currently sunning himself on the balcony upstairs, setting an example for his equine friend.

 

As soon as assent was given, Discord immediately followed through.  No time to leave notes or anything; one could only hope his 'Accord' persona would leave at least some clue to Blueblood's household that he had not been kidnapped against his will for sinister purposes.  Again.  Although, that pompadour was not to be trusted, in his opinion.  He wasn't quite sure what to do with the lolly when he was handed it; he felt like an utter fool holding it about like an overgrown colt.

 

All feelings of self-consciousness were to dissolve with the walls of reality, however, once he got a true glimpse of what Hoofston Paradise was.  It resembled the coastal beachscapes of the Gallopagos, for sure, but the natives!  He'd never seen a collection of robust beauties and handsome hunks in one place before.  Perhaps these were the true ancestral lands of whatever genetic line Star Crusader drew her own looks from.  In either case, he was more than happy to allow himself to be welcomed in the local style, taking a deep flower-scented breath, allowing the heat to begin to soak into him, relaxing his tight muscles and letting his mane down.  "This... honestly, it's perfect.  Congratulations; I have to admit, I didn't expect this from you."

[moonshineTheleocat]

Crusader… was at a very genuine loss for words. When she stared at the new world, it was a complete sensory overload that had threatened to light her brain on fire as it did it’s best to catalogue everything. Just like it always did when she entered a new place. Only this time… it seemed to be deciding on weather or not to overwrite… or to make a new databank for a whole brand new world.

A world with a very strange color palate at that. One of which that forced her eyes to stare up to the green skies. They could only ponder what was causing the sky to take such a strange color. Was the worlds atmosphere completely different? Might not be it… they were still very much alive.

 

“Annnd what mischief might be waiting in store for us, Discord,”The crusader hummed softly. Her eyes soon dropped to spot ponies coming to slip a ring of flowers over her head. Fortunately… there was no need for her to duck down. The other’s were close enough to her size that it was not an issue.

[RexDraco]

 

The air was warm, a comfortable heat that pushed through the fur and body. Beneath one's hooves the soft sands seemed to create the sensation of floating. It was unlike any place on Equus, but neither was it far from it. It was somewhere between Chaosville and Equestria, as could be surmised by the populous both native and foreign. Ponies who had fallen prey to exhaustion submitted to the paradise. Long had listlessly lumbered into the luxurious landscape. Dragons denied downtime were doomed to dawdle the day away. Ever more faces of species surplused the sands with their presence, providing an environment that fully painted at desires both material and emotional. Comrades, friends, enemies, and prey -- this was like the neutral zone that was filled with tempestuous desires of fantasy. If one could dream it, it would exists.

 

Courts of muscular ponies playing volleybal could be heard with synchronous grunts and the clapping of the heavy, leather covered ball. Shifting sands under hooves, claws, and talons rustled as bodies raced across the open coast, laughter piercing the eddy of conversation. It was like the sands themselves were alive with how nothing seemed to stand still. Beaches of clear waters, which allowed a pony to see all the way to the bottom, gave a surreal sense of flying as bodies splashed through the open seas. Lifeguards sat upon anchored rafts in the waters, working on their tans. It was truly a paradise. A world beyond worlds. It was an amazing deal, but no deal was ever so free.

 

“Excuse me?” The gaudily dressed spirit groused, snapping a claw, manifesting a green emerald between his digits. “Do you take me for something less than perfect. Dare I say not green?” He shone the gem, glittering it over Blue’s white fur before tossing it up and spinning a cane around, letting the gem latch to the top of it. He brought it to his muzzle, the ruby amplifying his speech. “It will be hot, hot, hot! I will be your guide across this otherworldly paradise!” He vanished and appeared behind the couple, draping a towel over their shoulders. “Now remember lovebirds if you want to make the most of this land of relaxation stick with the locals! They know how to put the motion back into the ocean!” He wiggled his noodly self before zipping back, leaning on an invisible counter. “I am glad you asked Crusader~!” He tapped the air with his microphone, manifesting a map of the island for them. “With this you can find all the events. To remain on the island you have to earn ten points of relaxation and that means participating in one of the twenty events.”

 

Everything from steam rooms to the juice bar, the two had a lot to choose from. But it was Discord. Things were never -- normal, and by the natives alone and the location -- it was already quite out of this world...

[Blueblood]

After a couple of minutes just standing there, soaking up the sun, the Prince began to feel a little silly just... standing there.  And vacationing though he may be, he was not yet beyond the point where he cared about looking silly; after all, he'd hardly even begun hitting the salt lick!

 

Probably should be getting on that, actually.

 

So, once the lei-bearers had frolicked away (or whatever verb; 'frolic' just did not the right word to apply to ponies of amazonian physique), Blueblood offered a hoof to Crusader, and they stepped on to the beach proper.  Looking around, the unicorn tried to decide what he wanted to do first.  Something active, to start; his muscles needed to be loosened by motion before he could properly lounge upon the sands.  "Hmm... I don't know about you, Crusader, but I'm really wanting to get into the water.  Sailing, swimming, or what have you.  I don't suppose you could hook up up with a local guide to..."  He peered at the map, looking for an icon that vaguely approximated what he wanted to do.  "Here?" 

[moonshineTheleocat]

Crusader’s eyes followed the soft grunts to a volleyball court involving males playing a game. Perhaps they were trying a little too hard to impress the dames whom were watching not too far away? Crusader couldn’t tell from their looks if they were impressed or not. But… she certainly was not impressed. Those perfectly sculpted muscles were the results of spending hours in the gym with the hopes of looking ‘hot’. However it was clear to her that none of those muscles have seen any labor that would justify the effort. No nicks on the hooves, no scars, tired looking limbs. Maybe she was being too critical? Oh well.

But her attention soon returned when Discord began explaining how this island works. And one that made her quirk a brow were the mentions of points. She looked at the map with both brows now nudging themselves just a little closer.

“Points of Relaxation? I… was not aware that someone could come up with a way to quantify someone’s….” She trailed off slowly. Her words fell silent as her mind began to work. Her jaw hung slack for a moment then closed with a snap. Her head craned over with the map as she looked the monarch of chaos in the eye. “… please tell me that Princess Twilight had nothing to do with this.”

 

Crusader then looked back down to the map when the prince started speaking. Her head tilted for a moment, and then she recalled the last time they tried to go for a romantic night on a boat. Did not work well. “Mmm… before we do rent a sail boat, we should inquire about the ‘weight-limit’.”

She then looked away for a moment, “er… I am unable to get numbers… as conventional scales will… break underhoof.” She then looked back to the two thoughtfully. “However… in case they are unable to provide one. I am sure we can rent a sail. Then either I or Discord could be the boat.”

[RexDraco]

 

Discord seemed to delight in their questioning gazes. It was quite beyond anything anypony could imagine. How in Equestria could the sky be so green and the water so clear? It was a surreal feeling being able to see to the bottom. It was like wading in liquid glass. A few boats dotting the horizon, of various sizes too! From humble rowboats where visitors fished away their worries to aristocratic yachts that sailed with skilled skippers at the helm! With the odd inner tube floating in and by one could mistake the place a paradise for all sorts. But the high strung were served a quick eviction notice if they couldn't enjoy the humble offerings of its effective hosts.

 

A dock stood off in the distance with a building where vacationers could sign up for cruises around the island and rent boats to sail the crystalline sea. There was open range for the prince to do. “Oh did I mention it was all free of charge?” He tapped his microphone cane with a grin before slithering up between them. He moved to try and prode Crusader with the speaking end of the staff and cooed. “Oh the Princess of Friendship has nothing to do with this, nor does she know of this little slice of Paradise.” He assured, though it wasn't comforting in that sense.

 

In a nopony can hear you scream, sort of eeriness.

 

Nevertheless it was a spectacular place. Pulling down the sleeve of his leopard print pantsuit the chaotic prince would peel off the outfit and twirl it about to cover the horizon's view. When the curtain of fabric fell they would find themselves standing within the rental office. The large, island equine showed off their pleasant muscles and even more pleasant dispositions, enticing visitors to enjoy their services to the absolute limit. The cruise always seemed to have room and everything was absurdly efficient, untouched by the chaos god's meddling. A non-interference pact to be sure. Perhaps in trade of letting him goof around at his leisure he would be permitted a limited grace. From here the duo could choose their fancy and would be in luck if Discord indeed limited his interference with the game.

[Blueblood]

Blueblood's own opinion of the Islanders' looks was either more superficial, or less stringent.  He was not, after all, without sympathy to the view which sculpted one's body for show more than use.  That had been his own attitude for the first couple of decades of his life, and even now that he was striving to become something more than merely ornamental, scars were still to him a marring upon looks.  On his own looks, at least; nothing could mar Crusader's amazon beauty as far as he was concerned.

 

The upshot of all that was that any looks which he gave the locals were frankly and obviously admiring, and from what he could tell from their returned looks, they both noticed and appreciated the attention.  Good thing his marefriend wasn't really the jealous sort...

 

Speaking of which, her suggestion of being used for a boat brought him up short.  The visual was appealing, in it's own way; piloting a sail while nested in her outspread wings, viewing the horizon over the wake of her tail... however, it seemed like that wasn't going to be neccessary, as Discord had already taken them to a boat rental shack, where already one of the statuesque locals, a brown-maned grey-coated hunk of an earth pony, was pointing out a craft.  "The long talker speaks truth.  After all, we'd hardly get up on the water ourselves if we couldn't build boats to our size, you know?"

 

"Oh, right, yes, that makes sense..."  His head was spinning, slightly, at the view of the craft, somewhere between a yacht and a cruise ship.  Not only was it large, it was built to a scale larger than he was, making him feel that he was in a land of giants.  Which, he supposed, he was.  Boy, this was going to be a fun vacation!  "I wonder if they'll let me take the tiller."  He mused, turning back to Crusader.  "What say we step aboard?  We don't to fall behind in points and get kicked off the island."

 

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, Bwana."  The local chortled, leading the couple up the gangplank.  "It's quite clear we've got a loving couple in you two, and they score double, don't you know?  The Queen especially likes to see lovers visit the place, they really rejuvenate the atmosphere for all of us!"

[moonshineTheleocat]

Crusader had made no attempts at stopping the staff from poking her broad chest. And the staff in question would find that her body was quite solid like a rock. The only signs of depression was her thin coat of fur, and even that did not give much. It was like the very fibers of her fur had been bench pressing on a daily basis. And Discord could definitely be rest assured that his explination did not put Crusader at ease. Her head lightly bobbed back when it was mentioned that even twilight did not know about this slice. Which did bring up that question… where in the hay are they?

But… it was a question that she’d have to choke down and let it dissolve in her formidable stomach. They were on a vacation, and it would not do her or the Prince well for her to be stressing over the details. And it certainly wasn’t fair that she didn’t give discord the slightest amount of trust… despite his previous nefarious acts. She just sighed, and nodded decisively at her own decision to allow this. She just hopes it doesn’t come back to bite her on the flank.

The mare then turned away from discord, to see the prince pointing out a nearby ship. It certainly did look impressive and well built. And there was a nearby pony that helpfully informed them that these ships were designed for larger stature creatuers in mind. That is certainly a plus.

But… what threw the mare off more… was that there was a confirmation of points. And it was even backed by a queen. Just… what sort of location is this?

 

“I am sorry… did you say queen?” The mare asked with a slight tilt of her head. If she was confused, she certainly wasn’t showing it with her natural good deadpan looks.

[RexDraco]

As with any event involving Discord many more questions seemed to arise with each question answered. It was the nature of ponies to fret, worry, and prepare for the inevitabilities of life, but when facing such marked obstacles the leniency of such preparedness became irrelevant. Try as they may there was never planning in regards to him. Even any measurable precautions taken to observe his nature were often fooled by that very unpredictability. Be that as it may it wasn't a wholly distressing experience. Oft times he brought events one would not have otherwise experienced leading such a cautious and planned out life. Perhaps Chaos was not as bad as everypony made it out to be? Even Discord seemed inclined to have a good laugh and run about being the center of attention. Hardly malicious nor dangerous. Though there were times he could forget just how omnipotent he could be. A few gentle reminders would reign that in.

 

With their boat prepared it seemed all was ready to go. Crusader seemed suspect at the mention of a queen. The snake appeared beside her in a sailor’s outfit and moved to snapp a bubbly life preserver on the hefty mare. “Oh you worry too much. I am sure Bluey Blue has many a pet names for you. Who can deny that those who serve the mistress of the island don’t carry similar?” He appeared coiled on the ship’s mast. “Avast and all!” Well this seemed familiar. At least this time there were no knights to stop them, right? “You’re either plundering or being the plundered, Crusader. Which will you be? It is a vacation after all.” It was his nature to pull one from their comfort zone, their state of normality. He was there to make sure they didn’t constant think within the confines of their special, little boxes.

 

The boat was equipped with all manner of amenities. A cooler full of treats and cozy couches for couples to enjoy close quarter sailing! The large deck was shaded by an awning that pulled in to provide for those who wished to suntan and those who wished to nap. On this particular boat there was a small buffet set up with some fishing gear laid out. Perhaps if Crusader wished to catch something to take home as a souvenir well they could always pack in the Aquarium! Fresh kelp salad covered with sesame seeds and olive oil sat laid over ice. A presentation of Neighponese rice and vegetable rolls lay stacked, displayed atop a giant, edible, mushroom cap which was sprinkled with seasoned truffle oil. There was more calorie rich cakes: chocolate mousse with small red velvet cupcakes complete with creme cheese frosting. All in all it was a spread laid out for a king and queen! The noodle seemed to be perfectly content flapping in the wind on the mast like some silly, snaking, wacky, inflatable noodle toy. What the couple would not have expected, and would come to pass: was a grand aquatic display in the distance. It seemed some of the inhabitants put on a show at sea where they ride out on local marine turtles and have tricks played out by visiting dolphins who loved the attention and free fish.It was quite a site to see the large, amazonian hunks and dames to surf the turtle's backs with naught but a bucket of fish and a counterbalance.It put many couples in a cozy mood and even those on their own would find themselves in a delightful mood seeing the playful and skillful antics of the sea life!

[Blueblood]

"Oh relax, Crusader!"  Blueblood called over his shoulder, as he trotted up the gangplank to board the ship.  "Just because she's somewhat less modest than Auntie Celestia in terms of titles doesn't mean she's a tyrant.  Why, we've met Empresses who were perfectly pleasant!"  As for pet names... Discord was perfectly right when he made that assumption, but he had enough respect for Star Crusader's dignity, not to mention his own, to let them slip right now ("Oh Captain, my Captain!") 

 

Besides that, though, the Prince had by now quite entered into the carefree spirit of the place, slipping as easily into it as a lime into a coconut.  But then, he wasn't in any way professionally obligated to be suspicious.  Seemed the island would have to limbo a little more to get the guard on his level of anti-nervousness.  The reference to plundering only brought pirates to mind in their playful aspect, and he even waggled his brows at his marefriend before striding onto the deck like it was his own ship.

 

"Why, hello, there!"  It takes no small amount of self-assurance and chutzpah to strut one's masculine good looks among a group of ponies who are all an order of magnitude larger than oneself, but nopony had ever accused Prince Blueblood of lacking either quality.  He walked the promenade, seabreeze fluttering his mane, in attitudes that suggested that he, in fact, was the one putting on the show for the ponies in the bay.  Recent years may have taught him the value of deference in public, but here... well, he was cutting loose!  In his own way, of course.

 

 

[moonshineTheleocat]

Crusader’s lips pursed as her head turned to follow the sound of the master of chaos’s voice. She did not seem to react to seeing him now in a sailor’s suit. Though truth be told, she did find it curious to how he was able to appear and disappear wearing new clothing on a will. It did not seem very chaotic to her. No… she found it… strangely orderly despite how silly it was.


“You’re either plundering or being the plundered, Crusader. Which will you be? It is a vacation after all.”

Her head immediately recoiled back a few centimeters to this comment. Her eyes even slightly widened as her mind… probably misinterpreted what the draquiness had actually meant. Surely, he meant something completely different, and definitely not related to adult pony things! It’d be silly to think otherwise! However, her chin dipped down just slightly when this small thought had reminded her of something time and time again. She really was her mother’s daughter. She glanced to Blueblood, wondering if he had thought of something much different. Then she caught his eyebrows wagging. The mare quickly turned her head away, a preventive measure to ensure a dash of red hue would not find its way to her muzzle. Of course he would think the same thing. Sailors have been known for dirty slang, and thoughts. The sailor inside her special pony was no different!

Her head turned back to Blueblood, giving her the usual stoic gaze that her face seems to be permanently sculpted into at all times. “It is not that I am confusing the Queen for a tyrant… I am just curious what sort of person this queen is to quantitize someone’s vacation… and the motives behind it.” Ok! So maybe she has some reasons to be suspicious! But, it was likely for the queens own benefit to ensure that her future customers will be better served! Like a survey… without a survey and some sort of big-sister who is always watching.

She trotted after the stallion, up the gang plank. She paused for a moment when she realized that the wood wasn’t squeaking or splintering under her weight. There seemed to be… a non-existing… smile on her muzzle right now as the reinforcement did quite a bit to set her at ease. Her body played with it’s own weight for a moment. Bouncing up and down on the gangplank to further test it. Whatever wood it was made of… must have felled many axes before one of legend had met it’s grain. In fact, she was sure that if she peered close enough… she’d find tiny little notches that counted one and twenty-more.

“There will be no plundering of sort…” The mare finally stated to Discord, her head turning to face him. She spared one final glance to Blueblood’s flank – who was busy showing off for all of the large stallions that were on the ship. She had noticed many looks, some of which were biting their lower lips. But she showed no signs of jealousy. Then back to the embodiment of chaos. “…such activities are… rather loud. It’d be unpleasant for the guest.”

[RexDraco]

Somewhere between Equestria and Chaosville sat a little island with two suns, a sea full of wonder and a sky full of dreams. It had long since been a place where ponies and the like found leisure, accommodated by free cruises given out by radio stations or a place where secret agents found the disadvantages of living a double life. The figures that inhabited the isle were as brawny sd the overreaching palm trees and as bending to their guests. It was a paradise that was only found in dreams. It was what made it special, wonderful and even -- suspect. Hardly could one believe a place, even in Equestria, existed without contest. No villain has never touched upon its soils, no cursed items have ever graced the shores.

 

As the ships cut across the waters like diamonds over water, a divine presence was making its way to the dining halls. A diva, of sorts. She was set to sing on stage and provide guests luxury with their meals. She was not like the resident figures of Amazonians long forgotten, but a little figure as frail in form as a tinder branch. A blue pony with long, flowing locks bound in heavy hanging tails, tied at end with black ribbons. She was tall, long legged, and had black painted lips that pursed together in uneasiness as her task came closer.

 

She was to sing and lull the ponies who still fought relaxation. Her voice would carry those who still stressed and doubted to a place where the flowers bloomed.

 

For now the trio remained out at sea. Discord was actually abiding by his non interference agreement, or at least as little as a god of chaos could forgo. He laid himself up on one of the ropes that tethered the sail, hanging as if it t'were a simply hammock, doing to use his binoculars and count the follies of half baked hunks as they attempted to out flex one another upon the backs of giant turtles. The two below were free to relax. As they went about their experience, a more settled native ride by on a turtle, playing a ukulele. She paused and passed them an invitation to Lala Lull, a guest singer who would be entertaining guests at the evening’s banquet. The centerpiece was to be a massive fruit called a Dragon Fruit, carved in the shape of the humble turtle. Of course they were not called dragon fruit for nothing as the mature fruits were bigger than your average pony and indeed required the strength of ten stallions, or in this case one local, to transport it.

All were being invited and the dining hall was near the piers so Blue also had the choice of sailing down and disembarking or returning the ship to its dock.

 

"I must say," Discord lowered his binoculars, tucked into an overly inflated life jacket and wearing swimming flippers on his hindhoof and talon. "This is all just obnoxious." As he would feel. The god of chaos partaking in leisure and .. sailing?!

 

Though he could enjoy causing a splash or three here and there to tip the tantalizing terrors of muscle if only to cause the crowd to go wild with the excitement of competition. 

 

"You know, Crusader, you should relax. I am starting to see a dip in your helmet from all that scowling." To the point, she did not have it on, but leave it to Discord. 

[Blueblood]

Good grief, if the pair of lovebirds kept this up, pretty soon they'd be confined to their room!  Not that anyone involved would likely be complaining of course; they'd max out their score, for one thing!

 

On another subject, which Blueblood dragged his mind back to with reluctance, it appeared that his confidence in the soundess of this bit of naval construction was well placed!  "See?  What did I tell you, Star?  It's almost as if they planned this all specifically for us."  At that mention, he had to turn his attention back to the one who had invited them in the first place.  "I have to say, all this was jolly good of you, Discord.  I'd say Fluttershy did a fine job with you; full marks to you both!"  Completely unsuspicious of any ulterior motives whatsoever; well, high levels of trust were essential for diplomats.  Perhaps this made the Prince an ideal choice to open official relations with the Island Queen.

 

Speaking of which... there was apparently to be a feast with live singing later!  The Queen would be in attendance, of course, with Blue and Crusader being among the guests of honor!  The invitation was enough to pause even the Prince's strutting and preening; a good thing, too, as any more and nosebleeds were likely to occur.  Or so he liked to imagine.  "Hm, this sounds like fun, wouldn't you say?  It'd be just about time for dinner once we swing back around.  I daresay you'd enjoy yourself, Star!"

[moonshineTheleocat]

((Things finally managed to calm down for me! I'll be posting more often now! Sorry about dragging my arse!))
 

Oh did Crusader feel the siren's call of the singer. The voice was beautiful, and definitely alluring, but that wasn't the main draw. The previous conversation had brought a little more of the Goliath of a mare's mother out of her. And she found her eyes lingering on the Singer's flank for a few seconds longer than what might be proper. Realizing what she was doing... the ever so stoic Crusader quickly pounded those thoughts into submission and shoved its nose into a corner so it may think about what it did.

She heaved out a small breath of air, barely a sigh, to the lord of chaos's comment. She could relax if she wanted to! She was perfectly relaxed right now! She just found this all to be incredulous! A colors of the sky and sea being all sorts of wrong! A queen that quanticizes how much fun someone is having, and enforcing it with an iron grip! And for some reason that blasted singer is getting louder and louder! It was practically drowning everything out, threatening to wash her away in a sea of emotions!

 

Crusader stood still, smoldering to the ocean while her thoughts ran away from her. There was a twitch of a muscle... and then... a small eye twitch. After what felt like a minute, she finally turned her head to look to Discord to speak. "Which dip? A stallion decided to hit me in the face with a hammer the other day. I had to take him to the hospital after the handle snapped and the head bounced back into his snout. It was a well made helmet surprisingly..." the mare hummed as she spun about to get a look at her surroundings.

Eventually, her eyes fell upon a set of fishing poles. With a hint of curiosity glistening in her eyes she clopped closer and leaned in to inspect them. They seem well made. Forged from sturdy metals, and using very strong wires! "Mmm... I always wanted to try fishing when I was little. However, my father forbade me from fishing in the lake. I do not recall the exact details... but he and the lochness monster never saw eye to eye. It was something about the monster asking for bits."

[RexDraco]

Back on the island the siren to be practiced her scales.

 

“Do Re Me Fa So La To Do~♪” She sang with a fluttering aria, her voice carrying across the dining hall. The walls were sections of bamboo decorated with hoof painted portraits of landscapes to be found across the island.

 

The crackling hearthfire filled the room with warmth, local cuisine laid out for ponies, griffon, and others so that they may fill their bellies and carry on beneath the warm suns. The muscular figures setting the tables had come to stop to admire their sister's hailing cried. They could not help but clap their hooves together. On her flank sat what appeared to be a white, smiling mask with the black silhouette of the same mask, only frowning with a silver streak flowing between their mouths. Night Aria, as was her name, sighed as she released she nervousness into the open.

 

The blue mare stood apart from her siblings as she was far from their Amazonian builds. “My Queen do you really think I can soothe the more stubborn hearts out there?” She questioned, worried that perhaps it would not be enough for the colony.

 

Nothing ever seemed to work.

 

Nothing ever seemed to satisfy their bellies.

 

The ponies always thwarted them.

 

“Can you really trust that monster?” She would regard Discord with the greatest of ironies. “I heard the others say this place was a gift from him. Can that thing be trusted? It hardly seems to care for the survival of any creature.”

 

And her worry was warranted. After all what did the prince of chaos come to gain by giving the whole of Equus such a fanciful place where queer dreams and fantasies came true?! Where fantastical sea creatures entertained guests by the sea, or where the landscape was more akin to a dream than reality? Clearly to understand what he gained, one must remember what he lost.

 

“My mimosa!” Discord complained from the Crow's nest as a pelican made off with his juicy drink. “What?” The spirit looked down to Blue, the binoculars dangling from his antlers.

 

Did the little blue prince just praise him?! Was he perhaps becoming deaf among the hoop and holler of parade and leisure? Though reaching into his ear and yanking out a crab it seemed he was more just deaf from getting some sand in his ear for out the grab pulled an hourglass with it as Discord tossed it back into the sea.

 

Discord appeared beside Blue, his paw pressed to his chest and head held high. “Well Fluttershy helped a bit, but you know I was always this charming!” He promoted. “Even if I wasn't always as cautious for you ponies well being. I mean how was I supposed to know that pure chaos turned ponies mad?” You live and learn.

 

While the prince strut along Discord would stare at Star Crusader. Honestly this mare. Discord grinned and would appear behind her with a fishing pole. His ridiculous swimming gear was replaced with ever more goody fishing rubber pants and an overly loose plaid shirt that matched his soggy Fisher's cap which was weighed down by lures hooked into it.

 

“Well how about it Blue?” He would let loose his line and a suspiciously heavy plunk hit the water as the spirit stood beside the prince and passed the rod to him. “While to fish I'll drive us back to the pier so we can have dinner and a show!” Without waiting for Blue to agree or confirm he has the rod: the spirit reformed in the Captain's seat and with an absurdly large map spread over the wheel and his lap he attempted not to get lost in some mystical triangle that bent all logic and reality.

 

But, ho ha! Who would find such a thing out in sea?

 

Silly.

 

Also where did Star Crusader go? Well how else would they catch the large fish that lived on down here? Use the best and biggest bait possible!