An Unusual Changeling

[FireyIce]

"No, thank you for allowing me to teach your students how to defend themselves!"

 

As the Changeling walked away, bits jangling in his bag, he nodded and smiled at the passing creatures of various species, who were equally welcoming back.

 

<Ever since King Thorax, everybody has been more accepting of Changelings... Although I can't help but wonder if Chrysalis SOMEHOW got away and didn't get-.>

 

Firey Ice shook his head at the depressing thought.

 

<NO! I won't allow that to affect me again!>

 

Trotting to Sugarcube Corner and sitting at a table, he had a snack of the excess love that was practically drowning the whole store from the pink party pony who cheerfully served him a few donuts.

 

<Exits to the left and right. Most likely threat comes from Pinkie 'Pinkiamena' Pie, the blue and red stallion to the left with his wife and the yellow and gray mare to the right with her girlfriend. Ah, they were waiting for their respective spouses. Potential threat(s) upgraded to red.>

 

Blinking, he shook his head and sighed at the militaristic mindset he couldn't help but slip into.

 

"I just hope that my thoughts aren't foreboding of something wrong..."

[Blueblood]

 

Aside from the usual coterie of locals, Sugar Cube Corner was regularly patronized by guests drawn in by the fame of its baked goods and baker.  True, unlike Rarity, Pinkie Pie had yet to discover the financial wonder of franchise operations, and the Cakes had no interest in such things, their ambitions being more modest.  It was a wonder the supply so constrained was not overcrowded with demand, but then again, most ponies over a certain age tried not to overindulge in baked sweets.

 

Wordsworth Psmith, personal secretary to the current Archancellor of The Academy of Friendship, was not quite over that age.  Indeed, he wasn't all that much older than the students, and could have applied for enrollment were he not already gainfully employed.  Noblesse Oblige, as he would say in rather more and longer words; he was a colt of the Canterlot nobility, and dressed the part.  He still ate like a school colt though, which meant ordering a full baker's dozen of hot cross buns and devouring them over the course of the afternoon, washed down by a bottomless mug of tea.  Upon placing his usual order, he cast a monocled eye over the patronage gathered today, his gaze immediately captured by the striking figure who had not yet touched his donuts.

 

"The cry goes 'round the castle walls, 'Hark, yet another royal is upon us!'  One must compliment the improvement in husbandry, to see the flock grow so large after so long stagnating in population."  Some of the locals might have gotten used to Psmith's habitual loquaciousness, but newcomers usually made the mistake of actually trying to take more than half his words seriously.  Not for nothing was his cutie mark an empty word bubble.  Taking his seat by the changeling, the well-dressed young stallion took his ease as if in a club lounge.  "Or do we behold a foreign breed?  Some guest from overseas, come as an embassy of a peace and friendship, as is their wont these days?  Or perhaps, more mundanely, one or more of these elements is a prosthetic, adopted for purposes of fashion?  The commitment to appearances is respected, Comrade."  Chrysalis only knew what Firey would make of this eccentric.

[FireyIce]

The following passed through his mind in an instant as he began to munch on his donuts, nodding in greeting to the unicorn:

<Unicorn. Purple. Male. In important position. (Note: School of Friendship? Canterlot?)

As of now, harmless, but could be an assassin looking for fame, hoping for inadequate defense.

Likes to use Lunar language that was nearly abandoned 850 years ago after Nightmare Moon. Could also be cultist, hoping to bring her back. (Note: Could think I have necessary knowledge for occultic ritual.)

Treat as neutral unless shown otherwise. Keep an eye out for potentially threatened innocents. Aim for base of jaw and horn in case of attack.>

 

"Greetings, Sir. I'm not royalty, unfortunately. Nor are these wings and horn fake or prosthetics. I, my good sir, am a Changeling. Ponyville is my home, and Firey Ice is my name. Your's?"

[Blueblood]

Wordsworth Psmith had no idea what thoughts were running through the other's head, though he would have been more amused than anything else were he to find out.  "Well, in some respects a Changeling's glamour may be counted as a prosthetic of sorts, not matching full functionality, but serving its purpose in the gap.  But enough of such speculations, Comrade!  Introductions are called for, as is more tea."  He gestured the bouncing pink mare, imploring for a refill as he destroyed another one of his frosted buns.  "My name is Wordsworth Psmith, of the Canterlot Psmiths.  It is pronounced with a proceeding silent P, see also Pterodactyl, pneumonia, and psoriasis."

[FireyIce]

"Dinosaur, disease, disease. None of which match His Highness."

 

Munch munch munch.

 

"What brings you to this humble eatery, other than the delicious sweets? I just got out of training some fillies and colts in self-defense."

[Blueblood]

Wordsworth took the response in turn.  "True, true, His Royal Highness, my employer, is nowhere near as old as the first, nor as unpleasant to host as the latter.  This second, I am given to understand, is a more recent development.  The Royal House of Blueblood not having the best of reputations in the hinterlands, but years spent in charitable activities, of which I have assisted in a secretarial manner, have done much to rehabilitate him.  As has his recent marriage, recently blessed with issue!  Hence, I have been given a vacation of sorts."  That was as concise an explanation of his presence and existence that Firey was likely to get.

 

"As for what brings me here, some excellent buns, half-bit each when ordered by the dozen!  Seems almost cruel to eat half-bit buns; they might grow up to be bit-buns, after all."

[FireyIce]

<Blueblood. Now THERE'S a name I wished to never have heard. And with child. And Chrysalis said that he wouldn't get anywhere...>

 

 

 

"Congratulations. And yes, if only these poor buns would be allowed to grow..."

 

 

 

"I'm afraid that THAT would be impossible, my friends! Their flavor is much better, this way... Anyway,bye!"

 

 

 

*He was left with his eyes filling his head in fright, sword partway out.*

 

 

 

"It's only Pinkie... It's only Pinkie..."

[Blueblood]

Wordsworth's attention was drawn by the sound of metal unsheathing, and he took a quick glance downward towards Firey's sword.  "I see you believe in *live* training, Comrade?"  His voice was a little softer, though, instinctively more conciliatory.  Young fop though he may seem, he knew a soldier when he saw one.  "So attending to security and mindfulness therein is most commendable, though one might wish for a harder clasp on the sword, for the sake of civilians?"

[FireyIce]

*Nervously giggling, he sheathed the sword and tapped his hooves, now staring at the table while he continued eating*

 

"Used to be a bodyguard for Queen Love-Sucker, before I deserted during the Canterlot Wedding invasion. Went around the world, trying to find my place, but it was only after King Thorax when I found this place.

I've been trying to get rid of this overreaction, but when you've been bullied and nearly killed multiple times over the years, you tend to have a good grip and fast draw with both your sword and spells..."

[Blueblood]

Psmith tut-tutted sympathetically, taking rather more measured bites now that he was come to the last third of the buns.  "Trauma-induced habituation, sadly grown more common in trying times.  I joined His Highness' employment shortly after he barely escaped with his life from the largest Viking Caribou raid in all the annals of history.  Such fleet of flying longships!  What destruction.... I pass, for decency's sake, over the details and implications.  One of your profession knows them well enough."

 

He took a pensive sip of tea.  "It is a mark of character in the Prince, that immediately after such an experience his first thoughts were to open charitable and diplomatic relations to the Northern Clans, under the assumption that those who do not starve shall have no need to steal.  The results, admittedly, were mixed, some clans accepting the open hoof of friendship, others... not.  Their war rages still, we are given to understand."  He sighed, but passed lightly over such sorrows as the babbling brook over a small waterfall.  "More happily, though, it was on this trip that he met his first wife!"

[FireyIce]

"Really? Changeling intel always suggested that he was the type of stallion who wouldn't change if Discord himself Discorded him! I'm glad that we were wrong."

 

*Looking around for Pinkie to pay her, he spotted the shadow of an unfortunately familiar Queen*

 

"No, no... Not here. Not now!"

 

*He shook his head hard then watched as the shadow quickly faded away*

 

"Forgive me... I thought I had spotted My-... Queen Chrysalis here..."

[Blueblood]

Pmsith chuckled.  "Well, you can't believe everything you hear.  Really, the confidence one has in the intel of a, if I may say so without causing offense, defeated regime should be rather low, all things considered.  One's brain, we may say Comrade Firey, is only as functional as the information it is fed; a Wonderbolt fed like a pig will soon cease to be a-"  And he was quite capable of going on like that, pontificating over the pastries, when a sudden outburst from his opposite number induced Wordsworth to pause, direct a monocled gaze to what was, upon examination, a harmless shadow.

 

After clearing his throat somewhat, he brought his monocle down to his jacket lapel, polishing it before returning it to his eye, words flowing with greater care and delicacy, "If assurances of victory and statues in the Canterlot gardens are insufficient to soothe your reactions beforehand, Comrade, is it... altogether wise for you to be armed among civilians?"

[FireyIce]

*With a strained grin and shaking body, he teleports his sword to his home*

 

"There... Now to just... Spend a day without it..."

 

*He rushes through eating the rest of the donuts then calls for a drink*

 

"S-s-so, what's your history? How did you get your Cutie Mark?"

 

*Everything leaves his body as he slumps*

 

"I'm not fooling you, am I?"

[Blueblood]

Watching this display, Psmith could only sit silently, and shake his head sadly.  Those who knew him well would know that, under such circumstances, a lack of words indicated deep feelings, for he was only truly communicative when frivolous.  It was with great gravity that he finished his tea and buns, sighing before unloading his burdened soul in words of one syllable.  "You are... not well.  And I can not do much to make you so."

 

The young stallion was most unsatisfied with this answer, pushing a few remaining crumbs around his plate, before continuing.  "I don't suppose you have searched for means of assistance with your dark, unruly imagination?  Such professionals exist to provide such services."

[FireyIce]

"Luna? Twilight? That wolf? Neigh."

 

*He scratches his muzzle*

 

"Actually, Luna doesn't sound bad... She must've been a warrior in the past."

 

*His eyes widen at a secret code he spotted from the corner of his eyes, grabbing Psmith, Pinkie, the couple, and hurling them out of windows before the whole place went up in flames*

 

"*Cough cough* On-on the other hoof... It's not paranoia if they're really after you, *cough cough* isn't it? Wait right here!"

 

*He takes off at a gallop after a "random" pony.*

[Blueblood]

There was little to no time for Wordsworth to process what was happening.  One moment, all was calm as he regarded his new changeling comrade, kindly easing him towards the idea of therapy.  Next thing he knew, he was being defenestrated seconds ahead of a conflagration.  "Ahech, ahoof, HEM!  As much of a reputation as this town has gotten for its destructive events, this really seems a little much, what?"  The unicorn was calm under the circumstances, but keenly aware that he would be of little use in a fight.  He would have to leave that to professionals, and seek to keep the civilians from panicking...

Speaking of professionals, one such was just coming down from a patrol overhead, a large, solidly muscled pegasus mare standing about as tall as a Clydesdale horse to normal ponies.  Sky-blue in color, scarlet in mane, she came in for an earth-shaking landing with a rattle of armor, right in front of pursuer and pursued alike.  "Halt and explain, both of you, if you know what's good for you."

[FireyIce]

*In the blink of an untrained eye, the "Earth pony" teleported behind her and attempted to stab her in the back, being prevented by Firey flying up, corkscrewing, and slashing the other Changeling with his wing blades, disabling his magic and left wing simultaneously.*

 

*Over the now exposed Changeling's cursing, Firey begins to explain while quickly folding his wings in front of him and wrapping his forehooves around them.*

 

"I am unable to attack or defend in this position. Believe me when I tell you that I'm friendly. In fact-."

 

*He drops his disguise and shows that he's one of the reformed Changelings.*

[Blueblood]

Given that the mare was wearing armor on her back, the blade only glanced off as the "alicorn" seized hold of the now-exposed changeling.  "Oh, one of these these?"  She didn't seem surprised, and simply gave a rap on the unreformed changeling's chitin skull, with a force that looked casual, but with her size and strength knocked the prisoner out cold.  "Appreciate your assistance."

 

Relieving the other of his burden, she slung the unreformed changeling over he shoulder, sparing a glance to where the well-practiced Ponyville emergency services were putting out the bakery fire.  "Right, you'd best come with me.  I don't trust the regular jail here to hold this one, so we'll have to use the small dungeon in the Castle at the center of town."  She stuck out a wing for Firey to Shake.  "Captain Star Crusader, of House Platinum's Honor guard."

[FireyIce]

*He returned the shake with firmness*

 

"Greetings, Captain. Firey Ice, formerly of Queen Love-Sucker's bodyguard, current inventor, teacher of self-defense, and doer of odd-and-even jobs, as our ever-excitable pink baker would say."

 

*Que the mare herself, babbling about everything related to, either directly or indirectly, fire, while making the survivors (which was somehow everypony), laugh.*

 

"... Anyway... The only reason I was able to discover this criminal was because she was using an out-dated code. I'll be glad to inform the Royal Guard how to decode it once we get to the Castle."

[Blueblood]

Star Crusader spared a glance towards Pinkie, and her stoic expression briefly twitched into something like a smile.  "She does say things like that.  This town has rather gotten used to emergencies; it's a bit like home, only the sheep run run around like sheep."  Her accent was so plain at this moment, that it was hard to tell just where she *was* from.

 

"In any case, as I said before, your assistance is very appreciated.  I'll definitely schedule a seminar for you to teach.  I understand you were here to teach a lecture on self defense?"  She didn't seem to notice the weight as she hauled the unconscious prisoner through the town.

[FireyIce]

"Yes. I had actually just gotten finished with a self-defense class for fillies and colts, and was taking a Sweet Break at Sugarcube Corner when all of this happened."

 

*Taking a closer look at the prisoner, he spots the inner part of her horn flashing in a regular pattern.*

 

"Hmmm. It looks like she's attempting to send out a report, but isn't strong or awake enough. Do I have your permission to grab it?"

[Blueblood]

Star gave a firm nod.  In her opinion, most ponies could use some personal knowledge of physical security.  "Good on you.  You work as a freelancer; have you considered enlisting in one of our auxiliary corps?"

 

Once Firey pointed out the message, she nodded.  "Technically, war hostiles are accorded less legal protection than criminals, for obvious reasons.  That said, I am not technically part of the REA, so I have a little more leeway even than that.  Go ahead."  They were coming up on a side entrance to Twilight's castle, which opened automatically at her knock.  "Third door to the left leads down.  Mind your hooves, the crystal is slippery."

[FireyIce]

*Keeping his balance while following her, he began to extract the message while replying to her question*

 

"I... Haven't, actually. I've been so busy training creatures, fixing various things, and retrieving rare plants from the most remote parts of the planet that I've never found time to sign up for the A.C.

And depending on the message that this female has for us, I just might have the motivation to call for some favors from some... contacts I have cultivated on my travels, depending on how serious this threat might be."

[Blueblood]

A semi-impressed huff of breath was Star's acknowledgement of Firey's brief resume.  A quite significant gesture, for her, though its possible that he himself wouldn't realize that... unless he has a changeling's natural sense for the emotions of others.  "Good.  I can recommend you some places to bring you in, and make a few introductions myself.  For now..."

 

Clumping down the stairs, the amazonian pegasus found one of the more secure-looking rooms, not exactly a classic dungeon look, more like a padded dormitory, but the padding was all magic-proof.  Wouldn't hold an alicorn, by her estimation, but it wouldn't have to.  "This will be as good a spot as any to hold her.  Hopefully get some answers out of her."

[FireyIce]

*He knew her feelings, but boasting wasn't in his green, semi-acidic blood. As he finished gathering the information, he projected what he got, which was a pile of nonsense with random spaces, paragraphs, and letters.*

 

"Or so it seems, Ma'am. Let me cast a decoding spell, and we'll be on our way."