Fireheart Posted June 17, 2012 Report Share Posted June 17, 2012 Here it is everypony! This is the begining my story.http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8225399/1/Burning_MoonLet me know what ya'll think! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talex Posted June 20, 2012 Report Share Posted June 20, 2012 I like it. I feel like this is a type of story that would be told to fillies and colts when they're little and before the event with twilight and her friends. You said this is the beggining to your story? Because you did a nice job with the ending and it feels like there isn't going to be any further story. I'm not saying that you shouldn't continue it but maybe edit a sentence or two in the last paragraphy to hint at further conflict. This may not be proper critiquing but readers opinoins don't hurt either, right?Also the names are really reminding me of the Warriors serirs by Erin Hunter; Fireheart and Morningstar xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireheart Posted June 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2012 I like it. I feel like this is a type of story that would be told to fillies and colts when they're little and before the event with twilight and her friends. You said this is the beggining to your story? Because you did a nice job with the ending and it feels like there isn't going to be any further story. I'm not saying that you shouldn't continue it but maybe edit a sentence or two in the last paragraphy to hint at further conflict. This may not be proper critiquing but readers opinoins don't hurt either, right?Also the names are really reminding me of the Warriors serirs by Erin Hunter; Fireheart and Morningstar xD Seroiusly I came up with those names I didn't ever know about that book. As for my story as it reads its only a prologue I'm working on chapter 1 right now, buy it will take me awhile. And thanks for the opinion I need that to see what to add and fix with my writings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireheart Posted July 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2012 Hey serously everypony I don't like an empty post feel free to reply and let me know what you think. Please and thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireheart Posted July 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2012 The first chapter has been released everypony and please reply what you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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