Bonjour,

It seems that I have decided to once again update this infernal new blog of mine, forsaking the tons of friends and piles of women that I have at my disposal </fantasy>

At THIS VERY MOMENT, i am watching freakazoid, after just finishing a few episodes of MST3K. Good Times.

But you didn't decide to read this because you want to know about all the stupid stuff I do in my free time! (At least I hope not, go outside, sheesh.)

I don't exactly know where to go from here, most people would post a picture, or do some OC rant, or maybe even try to discuss politics... Which is almost futile on the internet. I suppose i could keep rambling like this, but that would be boring. So i will now pop into the OFFICIAL CHAT ROOM at #canterlotcentral </shamelessplug> and ask for a suggestion.

So, the topic of my blog, as decided by the cool people who use the chat is:

HOW TO MAKE A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH (As suggested by holypony20)

OK, so let's make a PB&J!

First, invent the universe.

Then, decide that you actually WANT a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Your next step is to go to a store that sells the products you require to create the aforementioned sandwich.

1. Bread (Any variety)

2. Peanut Butter (Skip or Jif, peter pan is for pansies. Also IT MUST BE CREAMY)

3.Jelly. (GRAPE, non of this 'new-age' sandwich crap.)

Once you have entered the store, you locate said products, and pay (i.e specie, barter, labor) for them. You then return to the place of origin, where hopefully you have access to a kitchen, or at least a sanitary location for food preparation.

Now we get to the fun stuff: You take the bag and slowly remove the small, infernal plastic twisty thing that is denying you access to the loaves of bready goodness inside. One you have extracted 2 (two) Pieces of bread (Preferably not the ends, those are gross), you must set them down on a flat surface, with either side of the bread facing up, not on it's edge.

Then, you take one of the jars of processed 'peanut butter' and open it. Once this has been accomplished, you take a knife (any kind) and then insert it (Blade first) into the jar. Once it has entered a satisfactory distance, extract the knife by pulling it up and twisting it 37 degrees counter clockwise. The blade should now be liberally covered in peanut butter. Spread this on the bread, covering 1 (One) of the slices and not both.

Since Jelly is stupid, it is a bit harder to spread. Open the jar and hold it over the clean slice of bread, with the opening facing down. A large amount of jelly should tumble downwards (due to gravity) and cover the bread.

Here's the tricky part. Take the two slices, holding them in such a way as to not cover your hands in jelly or peanut putter. Rotate the pieces so that the sides that have spread on them are facing each other. Slowly, SLOWLY bring them together so that the peanut butter and the jelly are now together, leaving a 'clean' surface on the outsides of the newly formed 'sandwich.'.

NOW EAT IT.

DONE!

Wow, that was drawn out, boring, and pretty bad in general. I'm just glad i got out of that... JAM.

I'm so sorry.

(Also, another shameless plug... read my fic! Tell me what you think! DOT DOT DOT) </shameless plug>