DantonDamnark

Suggested names that fit 'Black Sun' if you wanted to go Latin:

Atra Sol

Ebenus Sol

Opacus Sol

Phaeus Sol

Piceus Sol

Wow, I really appreciate you looking up these for me! After all, the Alchemy form of Black Sun could come off to some as "racist". It is: "sol niger".

I think I'll go with "Opacus Sol", it sounds more mysterious.

Also, his cutie mark must remain constant once you have decided on what it is. During the course of his life, it cannot be changed. Because a cutie mark is not a hologram nor exhibits holographic-like properties, it otherwise can't share the similarities of appearing to appear or disappear like the Tasmanian Tiger (Who's stripes may do this on the tail as a trick of light and shadow). Once a cutie mark has been obtained, it's permanent. You can cover it up with make-up, or wear saddlebags or some kind of clothing to cover it if you so choose (Why you would want to, I don't know), but if you wish to change your cutie mark from what it was to something new, now would be the time to do it.

Yes, yes. I understand. I have to remember that just because his Application must change does not mean his Story self does too. I'm referring to my Awkward Moments stories, in case you are wondering.

Anywho-diddly-doodle, I have decided on which of the two I will use.

Now, to update the "Proposed Change Log".

Chapter 2 is here....

I'm going to have to ask that his name be changed to fit the new rules...

Your current Avatar expresses my feelings...

But I suppose I can comply. Danton can be the name he goes by (Nickname).

Other Awkward Moments books can be read here.

It was a bright sunny day in Ponyville and Yulin was doing her normal rounds of checking in on the citizens.

Yulin started to look around and see if she missed something. That's when she noticed Danton and the fillies. Danton seemed to be looking around for something and was wearing his saddlebag. Yulin went over to greet the three.

"Hi, Danton. Hi, girls" said Yulin.

"Hello, Miss Stalwart" replied Lilly and Frilly in tandem.

"Hi, Yulin" said Danton, "I've been looking for you"

"Oh, really?" asked Yulin.

"Yes. I have to head out of town for a few days and was wondering if you could take care of these two while I'm gone" said Danton.

"Aww c'mon, Danton" started Frilly, "Why can't we come, too?"

"I told you: 'It's too dangerous'" replied Danton, "Besides, you have school"

"Hmpf" grunted Frilly as she lay on the ground with a pout.

"I'd be happy to help, Danton" said Yulin trying to get the conversation back on track.

"Yay! Sleep over at Miss Stalwart's!" cheered Lilly.

"Now, I have a few rules for the fillies" said Danton as he pulled out a piece of paper from his saddlebag and gave it to Yulin.

The List read:

1. Walk Frilly and Lilly to school and be sure they go inside the Schoolhouse. Frilly will not go to school if she thinks she can get away with it.

2. Walk the fillies home from school. Lilly might get scared without somepony to walk her home.

3. No sweets after 9pm.

"Alright, I can manage this" said Yulin.

"Oh, one more thing" said Danton as he telepathically pulled something from his bag.

Danton pulled out a large flask with a green liquid.

"I need you to make sure Jiktin does not drink this!" said Danton with absolute seriousness.

"These two know better, but I don't trust Jiktin" Danton continued.

"Okay" replied Yulin.

"Thanks, Yulin. You don't know how much I appreciate this" said Danton.

"Goodbye, girls. I'll see you in a few days" Danton said to Frilly and Lilly.

"Bye, Danton" said the fillies in tandem.

Danton strolled off.

"Don't worry, Danton" Yulin yelled to Danton, "I've got this under control"

"I believe those were somepony's famous last words" Lilly whispered to Frilly.

Chapter 2 - A Promise Not Kept

Lilly was balancing Danton's flask on her head.

"Are you sure you should be doing that, Lilly?" asked Yulin.

"Yeah, it's all good" said Frilly.

"Yeah" replied Lilly, "Danton calls me his 'little gyroscope'"

"Anyway. C'mon, girls" said Yulin, "Let's go inside"

Yulin lead the girls inside her house.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Lilly.

Frilly's jaw hung open in amazement, unable to make a sound.

The house was just like any ordinary house. Rooms with normal furniture, painted walls, tiled kitchen floors. The reason Frilly and Lilly were awe-struck was because they had never been in a house other than Danton's (which was underground and made of stone and marble).

Yulin walked down the hall and motioned for the fillies to follow. Being a short hallway, they arrived at a door in little time.

"You two will be sleeping in my room" said Yulin as she opened the door.

The room could be described best with one word: Pink. Pink floors, pink walls, pink sheets, pink everything. The girls looked at Yulin in confusion.

"What?" asked Yulin.

"Nothin'. It's just that you don't seem the 'Pink' type" replied Frilly.

"But, also, where will you be sleeping?" asked Lilly, now balancing the flask on her nose.

"I'll sleep on the couch. It's okay"

There was a knock at the door.

"Lilly," started Yulin, "Why don't you put that in the fridge before you break it"

"Mmm 'kay" responded Lilly who then walked off to the kitchen.

Yulin then headed down the hall toward the door. The knocks have now become louder and more hastened.

"I'm coming, hold your horses!" Yulin said with a raised voice.

Yulin reached for the doorknob but before she could touch it, the door flung open. It was Jiktin.

"Hi, Yulin. I heard Danton left you in charge of Lilly and Frilly" said Jiktin as he walked in.

"Jiktin, what are you doing here?" asked Yulin.

"I think I left my Yo-yo upstairs" replied Jiktin.

"This is a bungalow" replied Yulin with confusion. ------ Free Cookie to who gets the refernce

"This place looks nothing like a buffalo" said Jiktin.

"Anyway, do you have anything to drink? I just came from a hot sauce drinking contest and I need something to take the taste of glue out of my mouth" Jiktin said.

"Uh, yeah. Go check the fridge" replied Yulin, trying to grasp what Jiktin had just said.

Yulin sat down on the couch, still perplexed on what Jiktin said. Hot Sauce, Glue, Buffalo. Yulin's thoughts were interrupted by Frilly.

"Danton says not to over think or even try to make sense of what Jiktin says" said Frilly.

"Oh, uh alright" replied Yulin.

Jiktin walked into the room with a refreshed look on his face.

"I think your lime juice was expired" said Jiktin, "It tasted like hoof"

Yulin shot up from her spot in shock and ran into the kitchen. And, as she had feared, Danton's flask was on the counter. Empty.

"Oh Celestia, no!" yelled Yulin in shock.

Yulin ran back into the living room to find Jiktin lying on the floor, his hooves over his stomach area. Lilly and Frilly were looking at him while sitting on the couch.

Jiktin then, suddenly, sprang up. This was followed by several cartoonish effects including extreme bloating, twisting limbs and weird faces before he fell back on to the floor.

"J-Jiktin! Are you okay?" asked Yulin.

Jiktin stood up. He was now wearing a top hat and a suit.

"Good day", said Jiktin, "My name is Dimitri E. McRange the Third. But you may call me Jadvald"

Chapter 3 - Jikvald

"Why is it that you look at me with such face that one could place an apple between your teeth?" asked Jadvald.

It was true; Yulin's jaw had dropped vastly after seeing what had become of Jiktin.

"J-Jiktin?" started Yulin, "Is that you?"

"Must I, again, introduce myself?" Jadvald said in a snooty tone.

"I am Dimitri E. McRange the Third. But you may call be Jadvald"

"Y-you drank that potion and-" said Yulin trying to figure out what happened.

"Indeed, I did" said Jadvald, "And it appears to have undone what had happened to my intellectual potential long ago"

"Huh?" said Frilly in confusion; she and Lilly were still on the couch.

At this time, Lilly got up from the couch and headed for a window in the other room.

"I shall put it into words that even dimwitted ponies such as you two could understand" Jadvald addressed to Frilly and Yulin.

"Me drinky green water stuffs now me smart again" Jadvald tauntingly said in a 'simpleton' tone of voice.

Frilly, mad over Jadvald's insulting statement, arose from the couch and bucked Jadvald in the stomach.

"Jerk!" said Frilly who then walked into the same room as Lilly.

"Now, if you'll be so kind as to show me to the door, I'll be on my way" said Jadvald, recovering from the pain Frilly had just inflicted.

Yulin was still in shock over the dramatic change that had overcome Jiktin.

"Never mind, I shall show myself out" Jadvald said as he walked out the door, which was still open, with his head raised.

Yulin had finally snapped out of it and went to check on the girls in the other room. Yulin caught a glimpse of Lilly giving a black bird a piece of paper before it flew off.

"What was that?" asked Yulin.

"Lilly gave Ronald a note to give to Danton" Frilly answered.

"Don't worry, I didn't tattle on you" added Lilly.

"Well, what should we do about Jiktin-er Jadvald?" asked Yulin.

"We should follow him, we might not have much time" replied Lilly.

"Time for what? What's gonna happen?" asked Yulin.

"We'll tell ya later" said Frilly.

Frilly walked out the door, followed shortly behind by Lilly and Yulin. Frilly lead the way, however Yulin did not know where they were going. Eventually they ended up in a public garden where Jadvald was socializing with Upper class ponies.

"What do we do now?" asked Yulin.

"Three...Two...One..." said Lilly and Frill simultaneously.

Jadvald was in the middle of a conversation.

"That's when I told them their selection of 'so called' fine cuisine and 'so-called' elegant music was simply uncomplimentary and appalling" Jadvald said in a snobbish tone.

Jadvald and the group laughed as you would expect a group like that would. But in the mid-chuckle, Jadvald stopped. His eyes opened wide, his pupils shrank, his mouth opened slightly and his hat fell off.

The group stopped laughing when Jiktin's hat fell off. They then proceeded to back away slowly. Jadvald's mouth slowly turned into the creepiest smile one had ever seen. His neck tensed up to the point you could see veins and he slowly turned his head to look at all the ponies that were surrounding him.

"I-I say, Dimitri" started one of the stallions, "Are you alright?"

Jadvald turned his head around 180 degrees to look the pony in the eyes.

"I'm not Dimitri..." said Jadvald menacingly with a voice that sounded like a Diamond Dog.

"My name is Jikvald. And you're in my house. Get out" he said still with an evil smile.

The patrons were confused. Jikvald turned his body around to address the pony, though his head did not move in the slightest.

"Get... Out..NOW!" screamed Jikvald.

Soon after the Upper class ponies started to run in fear, Jikvald went crazy destroying everything in his path and laughed maniacally as he did it.

"By Celestia's mane! What do we do?!" yelled Yulin over the panicked screaming of all those in the area.

"Just wait!" Frilly yelled loud enough for Yulin to hear as she covered her ears from the noise with her hooves.

Lilly pointed to the sky where there was a courier Pegasus flying toward them with a wooden box with a carrying handle. He flew down and asked Yulin to sign for the package. After that, he placed the box on the ground, tipped his cap, and flew off again.

Frilly grabbed the box by the handle with her teeth and ran toward Jikvald, who was still destroying everything in sight.

"Frilly, get back here!" yelled Yulin.

Frilly managed to get to Jikvald and placed the box at his hooves.

"Package for Mr. Jikvald!" yelled Frilly before she ran back to Yulin.

Jikvald stopped his reign of destruction and looked at the box. He opened it and pulled out a shark. Not knowing what to do with it, Jikvald threw it. But the Shark stopped in mid-air and turned itself toward Jikvald.

Jikvald was confused and drew closer to it. At this time the shark smacked Jikvald with extreme force and knocked him down to the ground.

He recovered after a moment and stood up.

"Wh-What happened?" Asked 'Jikvald'.

"Finn? Is that you?"

The shark let out a loud coo before it coughed.

"Yes, it is me, Jiktin" said Finn.

"Did I go Jikvald again?" asked Jiktin

"Yes, yes you did"

Epilogue

Danton and Yulin were at the cafe. Danton had his typical hot tea with a lemon wedge and Yulin with her black coffee.

"So, you're saying that is what Jiktin would have been like if he hadn't been hit by Finn when he was a foal?" asked Yulin.

"Yep" responded Danton.

"We were lucky that there was a lack of rocks that year" said Danton.

"And why do the McRange's hit the foals over the head with rocks?" asked Yulin.

"It is apparently a rite of passage that must be done before a foal becomes a 'stallion'" replied Danton.

"Huh?" said Yulin.

"The rocks tend to make the McRange's... of lower intelligence. Apparently to the point where hitting foals with rocks is not a bad thing"

Finn floated over to the table.

"I bid you two: farewell" said Finn.

"Thanks again, Finn" said Danton.

"I've been meaning to ask: Why did that box you came in have wheels?" asked Yulin.

"That's not a box. It's my mobile home" replied Finn.

"Good bye" said Finn.

Finn then got in his 'mobile home' and rolled off.

Proposed Change Log:

Chang Danton's Cutie Mark

Change Danton's Preview

Add more information on his Cutie Mark --- Really, no real change needed

Name Change(Cause I have to): Opacus Sol

Danton's Cutie Mark change is cosmetic, no real change in his personality or anything. However, the Cutie Mark is to change depending on what angle it is viewed from. --- Decided on single, non-changing Cutie mark.

In case you want to see his Preview click Link

Note: I will be using the Left one.

Here's a link to a Horse Dictionary. I find it helpful for Ponication of words and names.

Update: Added Buff Stallion and Filly Templates

Well it could be she has no real interesting in tailoring or sewing beyond what she does for her friends, but it certainly can be a major interest. Her love of sewing and the idea of it as a possible career doesn't take from her being a tom-colt (as she can still love sports and rough and tumble activities), it just adds diversity to her character.

Took your advice and added a paragraph on it at the end.

You mention that Frilly has a new life now but it hasn't be elaborated upon what that new life is exactly...

I actually did have this story on the app, but BlindJester suggested I remove all the Copy-Paste stuff. Though I think BlindJester only saw the sentence above the app saying this was mostly a copy-paste job(which was true at the start of it's WIP, but not true at the time he posted).

Edit: Added something. 3rd paragraph under Spoilers(not in).

It was also noted she wants to play sports (specifically the pony version of hockey) but has she pondered on the fact fact she is an excellent tailor and look into exploring that as something she may just want to do instead (especially given her young age, she may be very well prone to changing her mind to what she wants to do)?

I thought about this too. I wanted her to sound like tom-colt. I'll figure this out.

Edit: I've removed the things involving tailoring. I think it makes it better.

Does she still wonder about her mother and have any desire or plans to attempt to seek her out?

I'll work on this ASAP.

Edit: Last 2 Paragraphs in Spoilers explain it now.

Last I checked, it's kind of illegal to just kick a minor out of their home like that. I really feel sorry for the poor brony if this actually did happen.

Right, it is illegal to kick out a minor unless they are "legally" an adult. I assume that the kid has not been emancipated (made a legal adult through the court) and since he is under 18, he is not a "legal" adult.

Nevertheless, I do not feel this is a legitimate story.

So what is the game to be about? I assume something like Legend of Zelda but with ponies?

Sounds cool.

I think Frilly deserves her own app and not just a c and p job from Lilly. It seems a bit lazy to do it that way in my opinion I think you should try to make Frilly's app from scratch instead of piggy backing off of a already accepted app.

Taking a second look, I noticed how much I severely modified/deleted from the initial Copy-Paste. It about 85-90% original, but I removed that 10-15% now.

Add her picture.

I love your animated avatar. It's original.

I've refined my choice of character to a Sky Pegasus Thief. Just though I'd let you know. By the way, what ages types are we playing as? Filly/Colt or Mare/Stallion?

I think you should expanded upon her Character Summary. Add a story about how she got her Cutie Mark.

My 250th Post.

I was gonna say this was a bad idea(Pegasus/Zebra) until I remembered that it is biologically possible for Horses and Zebras to "mate". And since another Horse/Other hybrid exists in MLP:FiM (Mules). I can't wait to see how this turns out.

Fixed Color Hex Codes.

Lilly was hiding in a nearby bush, watching as Blueblood's carriage pulled up. Lilly's friend, Frilly, had gotten a tip on his arrival. Lilly never understood how Frilly got such accurate information like this.

Frilly and Lilly had set up a "trap" for the Prince. They had placed a cream pie atop an elegantly dressed table in the middle of the route he would take after stepping of his carriage. But several steps in front of it, they had made a pitfall just deep enough to cause somepony to trip.

Frilly was not here at the moment as she said she had "another, bigger plan for 'His Royal Majesty'".

"This better not backfire, Frilly" Lilly said to herself.

"I don't want the guards after us... Again..."

Lilly was still a little dazed from the collision after Cherrilee helped her up. The frog, who had been taken for quite a ride, hopped out of Lilly's hair and toward the exit.

"I-I think I'm okay..." Lilly said as her head bobbed back around.

"It wasn't my fault! There was a lot of talking and hollering and something got in my hair and-" Lilly stopped talking once she saw who she bumped into. A Pegasus wearing a blueish jumpsuit and goggles. Lilly had to hold her hooves over her mouth to keep from laughing.

"I didn't-*chuckle*-didn't realize it was Nightmare Night so soon"

Does the "Walk on Wall Street" count as a convention?

Added mischievous personality. Final Change. Maybe this won't fall top the bottom of the App posts again.

Question: What is ment by "Unicorn Ranger"? The Ranger has 2 subclasses, Scout and Marksmen, yet you say that only pegasi can be Scouts. I'm just a little confused.