Nasty

also davroth you know we're kidding/I'm kidding? You wouldn't be able to kidnap me because I'd already be up in there sitting on yo lap

Plot twist: the man in the van who tried who kidnap me was davroth

that's it, selfie-off. Right now. Are you manchildren ready to get crushed?

who wants to listen to my latest FOLK ROCK SONG (it's a demo so please mind the mumbly singing)

You should feel pleased; literally this thread stayed alive off of each of our singular, self-involved desires to be a human (HORSE IF YOU'RE DEGENERATE) meme. Looks like you've job fostering an unbreakable identity yourself

Somehow, against all odds, I'm twenty

Silverswirl, as Bad Boy Number 1 here at LPW, under the semi-authority of Fawkes and also the whims of chaos, I need to spray you with my squirt gun. *squeezes the trigger a good four times, satisfyingly slpashing silverswirl's signature* Like dude like realtalk that is the most obnoxious signature I've ever seen in my life. One of your posts would take up like six of angie's. If I weren't ousted I'd be S E I Z I N G you right now; like this would be a penalty in and of itself--it's just that I don't think anyone could have forseen something so ridiculous. Like I don't even mean that in a mean way; you're like one of the LPW Lads and that goes a long way in my book and the books of everyone here; like we love you buddeh but DUUUUDE THAT SIGNATURE how is it not breaking like the website's rules? XD like my man silverswirl also long time no see dude like how've you been? BUT THAT SIGNATURE WHY

It's a good thing I'm working on becoming a social worker. It's cases like yours that drive me to better the world

My heart is an innermost desire to constantly feel shame and degrade my self-esteem into absolute nothingness, so I repress it and overcompensate by outwardly appearing to be utterly confident and with super high self esteem and try really hard to be like "yeah man all I need is you, me." and stuff So if I can repress that part of me, you can repress being Team Instinct. You might even be well-adjusted like me but i'd recommend therapy to deal with that situation of yours dude

Also designwise articuno is pretty based and my favorite too but I do actually think that it's objectively the worst (battlewise) out of the three birds. Its typing is atrocious--it's weak to like everything

Thala, let me walk you through why team Mystic is the best: Team instinct: Trust your feels dude xDDD (bonus points though for having nobody in it so it's at least better than Valor i guess) Team Valor: Tryhard team that sucks and is also garbage; fun fact the man who tried to kidnap me was team valor I think because he was luring kids to the only gym in town by placing low levels in the gym so kids would rush to it to try to take it and feel good about themselves (myself included (as in i took that cp19 growlithe bait hook, line, and sinker)) Team Mystic: "Being smart is key to victory" like how is this not objectively the best one? "Understand the game and stay level-headed" like all the others are "purposefully be irrational and dumb" they're literally only the choices for those who want to roleplay being Ash Ketchum (and thus eat dirt like ash ketchum too) or literal degenerates

Interesting fact, somebody tried to kidnap me in a white full-on creepvan with a fake business sign and everything yesterday evening when I was leaving work--that's basically IRL team rocket right?

alright kids, let's hear it. What team did you join, and why wasn't it Team Mystic? Also let's get your unique pokemon finds. I'm insecure about only starting a couple days ago and I need validation, so definitely guess LOW

Nasty quivers still from the aftershocks of his seizure, the decree still taking a moment to sink in after what felt like an age of constant darkness deep within the bowels of Fawkes' hat. Dude...this... THIS IS SO raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

Nasty, drenched in DUMB TEA, wiped the sweat from his brow. He readjusted the doodle artifact (slightly metallic one, suprisingly) Fawkes placed on his head. Nasty hoped he could just wear this dumb doodle-tub out of some ironic gesture due to his utter desperation at somehow one-upping Fawkes' brilliant display. But how on earth could he? Incorporating what could only be described as a Huitzilopotchli-tier-blood-sacrifice-god version of Fawkes into this gorgeous doodle (THAT WAS SO ANNOYINGLY HEAVY FOR NO REASON WHY IS IT HEAVY) is unbeatable. Plus, Nasty counted the points. They won, utterly, fair and square. "UTTERLY DEFEATED. "Complete and utter ownage on the part of our great leader, Fawkes! My DUDE! You came back, posted genuinely fantastic posts (all within the guidelines!), and won! See? My plan worked the whole time! This was the first page since forever that wasn't filled to the brim with absolute degeneracy, am I right?! Tell me you don't love this. This great big funny memejoke right? C'mon it was a good idea! Definitely! Plus, things are all back to normal! And would we have it any other way without you in charge? Like dude I'm practically already dead from the adrenaline-related stress on my arteries from drinking all of this stupid tea and you like pretty much poised to kill me but i mean whatev. So, yeah man. You're leader now. I'm finna step down. You get to take the reign, buddy!" Nasty flashes an evil, desperate grin, as he raises his left arm: "Except you like, don't! Because I've still got three bullets left big boy!--and considering the fact that points aren't tallied until after all of my actions are taken into account..." Nasty preens, moving his frazzled bangs out of his eyes and readjusting his goofy sunglasses, dropping his left arm down, pointed directly at Fawkes. "Penumbra, FIRE!" Once again, Penumbra emanates a gorgeous, sultry purple hue akin to what could only be described as G E N G A R F A R T S. Before any sort of projectiles could fire, however, the hallowed artifacts Fawkes awarded to all of the posters who posted during The Burning of the Forest began to glow that very same purple. Suddenly, a jolt of epileptic electricity coursed out from the glowing Penumbra's eyes, connecting with each and every item in a chain lightning effect. Finally, the final bolt connected with NastyMann's head--the very same head whereupon Fawkes placed his ingeniously-cloaked l i g h t n i n g r o d. Nasty was S E I Z E D, meaning no longer could his actions influence the point total! Conjoined posting coup by Fawkes and Angie = like a bajillion points new point total: More than enough to win!!! Nasty has been ousted! Fawkes has returned as leader!

*VOMITS Absolutely disgusting. Absolutely, absolutely disgusting. We've got doubleposts, tripleposts, degeneracy posts, and even God herself visited to make a bona fide D E G E N E R A C Y post. You people NEED me. You're lucky Angus brought me back from my pokemon go-filled stupor to actually check up on you, so it looks like she gets some social mobility! She is now known as our second best artist (our best being MicroChip for his countless contributions). Given the state of the previous posts, I don't much feel like awarding points. Given the amount of disgusting double posts and wild cards and degeneracy, I'm just gonna go ahead and reset the points to 10 points because it's what you lot deserve. This is me being NICE. *eats a CUTE, ADORABLE KITTEN whole* And that's me being merciful. *gulps nervously and pops a jolly rancher to ease nerves, pulling from his mouth the kitten he skillfully shoved into the recesses of his esophagus before near-dying on kitty hairs*

*Kills it* With the power vested in me, I do proclaim your new name to be Davorth The Indignant. *EATS EVERY SINGLE KITTEN FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH DINNER AND MIDNIGHT SNACKS* Two Wildtalon posts = Wild Card x2! PLUS TWENTY POINTS!!! Davorth The Indignant post = plus one point previous points were at 13 New point total is now 37 points THE POSTS AFTER THESE ONES WERE BORING TECHNICAL CRAP THAT ISN'T FUN TO REACT TO PLUS ONE OF THEM IS SEIZED ANYWAY BUT IT'S NOT DEGENERACY BECAUSE IT HELPS KIDS GET THEIR IMAGES TO APPEAR (PLUS IF THEY'RE DEGENERATE I CAN SEIZE THEM--WHICH, LET'S FACE IT, IS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO THIS THREAD SINCE ITS REVIVAL (ALTHOUGH THE MANUAL SEIZES ARE MUCH MORE FUN))

T-T-T-T-T-TRIPLE POOOOOST Angie, you were the last person I expected of committing this high offense! Not to mention the fact that you are currently losing in terms of artist points to MicroChip, who now has TWO nasty pictures to his name! Although something interesting to come out of this is the fact that I only ever had rules regarding doubeposts specifically. It would make sense then to just have it be -3 points right? No. No... I DOUBLE the doublepost penalty for each consecutive post after the original double. Nonsense. True peace and stability will arise once the state is given complete and utter control. I'm going to need you to SEIZE Angie now. I don't have the heart to myself, plus, I can't issue a five hour degeneracy for an image so funny. Also, just a heads up: I have no idea what will happen to your body now that you are my weapon and are particularly NOT THAT PRETENDISH in nature. Let me know the details of your bodily-contours so that I could potentially address the issue. *a purple hue appears to be emanating from Penumbra* forgive me Angie is now seized and unable to accrue points for the next...twelve hours??? Point total is now HALVED! 22/2=11 There are three bullets left inside Penumbra This is a disgustingly shocking revealation! It appears that whatever gross shadow substance Penumbra is infested with has powered up my utterly pretend bullets and made them more on the INSIDIOUSLY REAL side. Given this unjust development, any posts reacting to the seizure of any member (the first one for each member is all that counts) will be doubled! This includes Fawkes, the leader who has forsaken all of you. (Note: nasty pictures count too!) I find it hilarious that it's that kitten that has its image broken. Meaning nobody will be saving you from me. Except myself. Or maybe Fawkes Angie Triple Post = -4 points Penumbra post = 1 point angie post = 1 point Wildtalon post = Wild Card! = four points previous point total was at 11 new point total is at 13 points

What a fantastic example you have set, MicroChip. Contributing so generously to the culture of the thread? And with a nasty picture, no less! Absolutely exemplary. Loyalty and devotion to the culture of LPW is rewarded with some of that J U I C Y social mobility! Do I smell a rank up there, MicroChip? *claps* Better a reason for it to be degenerate! You have summoned what are probably hostile hands from some other hostile dimension into our sacred wood As the cat puts it: Nasty picture! = five points davorth post = one point two wildtalon posts = two points another micro post = one point previous points were 13 points new total is 22 points

I had to make a big announcement with a funny phrase so you kids knew I meant business. Yes, I may have botched it, and yes, this may have gotten extremely out of control, but it's all for the greater good Don't be lazy! The trees are sacred to our culture! If it were a Schizophrenic Mountain or Maniacal Marsh it'd be completely different. The aesthetic of a lush, shadowy, maddened forest is pretty integral to our culture of general peace and secluded derangement. A burning forest does not speak nicely to those cultural claims. Angie gets a plus one loyalty point. That doesn't affect the points to oust me, but that certainly gives you some S O C I A L M O B I L I T Y. D E G E N E R A C Y P O S T Suddenly, screaming babies rain down from a rift created in the sky, piling on top of Wildtalon. The babies begin spasming uncontrollably, eventually morphing into a giant, contemptuous Danny Devito face. Wildtalon is now experiencing a five-hour seizure without the need of Nasty's six shooter! (thus points aren't halved) Fear is acceptable, so long as you have faith in the state. Actually human rights (pony rights if you're disgusting) don't exist anymore; all bodies are the Emperor's property so it's if I give them permission. Also they don't exist because D E G E N E R A C Y Cats don't have thumbs D E G E N E R A C Y P O S T Suddenly, screaming dead babies rain down from a rift created in the sky, piling on top of Davroth. The babies begin spasming uncontrollably, eventually morphing into a pregnant Sonic the Hedgehog OC. Davroth is now experiencing a five hour seziure without the need of Nasty's six shooter! (thus points aren't halved) Three Wildtalon posts NEGATED. Cause: First post was a D E G E N E R A C Y P O S T = no points added Two Davroth posts + one D E G E N E R A C Y P O S T (at the end) = Two points added Two Angie Cakes posts = two points Previous point total was nine points New point total is 13 points

Page 2 of the Burning of the Forest

I'm finna be working today lads so responses will take a good bit

The only weirdo is the person who STILL doesn't have their Nasty picture yet! Now that I'm in charge, I can keep my O S T R A C I Z A T I O N threat! ... Alas, I can't : ( Davroth, you and I? We were 69 brothers. Do you know what that meant? We were L E G E N D S. But then some sociopath took it away from us :'( In any case, Davroth please put out the fire. Micro, as my newest officer, I'd like you to help Davroth put out the very-much-still raging fire as well. Because I mean...the forest is burning Yes, precisely! Er...I will be taking that chair, but good on you Penumbra for like, seeing the selflessness and altruism through which I enacted this dastardly plot. *eats one of Fawkes scones* I only do it as a cultural thing. See?!? I'm like that wacky ruler! I'm even almost Willy Wonka! Can't you tell!? Penumbra, for your loyalty, I am putting you into the position of Emperor's Fist. You will be the hand that forms the funny seizure gun joke, literally. Now all bullets fly out of you. I won't lie, I am very much partial to a cat doing cat things to my legs. You're still more than welcome to bribe me, also. Davroth post = 1 point MicroChip post = 1 point Penumbra post = 1 point Wildtalon post = Wild Card! -10 points! previous point total was 16 points New point total is 9 points

Grrrr! I told you not to ge tthat! This may basically be a complete and utter state of anarchy but I'm working on the LPW emblems and the scapegoats and the xenophobia--we'll have our cultural fabric (and thus safety) restored in no time! Until then, swear your fealty to the state and remove your protective gear; they're for designated officers only! adsf .... Would YOU like to be a designated officer, Microchip? *makes a click sound with his mouth as he raises his six shooter toward MicroChip's helmet* Do choose carefully! also my chest REALLY hurts could you like get my tylenol extra strength or something I'm like falling to pieces here Microchip post = 1 point Last point total was 15 points New point total is 16 points