Nasty

*shakily raises six shooter at fawkes* Th-th-that's assault! On me! Which...I guess I never specified as a rule? Because as long as I'm not dead the cat isn't in charge so I mean...eh... But I guess I just realized I am confident in the fact that I do not like it! Or the fact that you have five points per post, that...that wasn't very smart. Why would I give who would be my official opposition five points? Oh that's right, because of my seizure gun! *Before nasty can pretend to shoot Fawkes, MicroChip slams into his upper torso, sprawling Nasty's body ragdoll-style and flinging the imaginary bullet haphazardly, missing Fawkes entirely and hitting Angie Cakes instead!* Angie Cakes' posts do not affect point totals for the next hour! Points are now HALVED! Previous point count was at 18 points. 18 / 2 = 9 There are now four bullets remaining in Nasty's six shooter Fawkes post = 5 points Microchip post = 1 point previous point count was at 9 points New point total is now at 15 points

Oh God he's already back!? *an audible yelp is sounded, echoeing across the now-barren fields around the charred treelines near the botched phrase.* Deep breaths buddy, deep breaths. You're the big head honcho now! Besides, you had to do it for the good of LPW, right? Even burning down a significant section of the sacred forest was justified, right? No... No, you're absolutely doomed. *clears throat* well well--*coughs* erm, sorry, excuse me for just a moment *teeth chatters* Well well well! If it isn't our beloved leader! Or should i say...NOT FOR ACTUALLY! Hahah! Yes, I have taken over LPW while you irresponsibly left its culture to rot in the coming degeneracy. I mean...c'mon, did you SEE the last few pages? I did us a favor! LPW needed this! *Nasty shifts his tone to sound less shrill and whiny, and less like he's trying to defend himself* In any case, it's nice to have you back lad. make that five points for you too for showing your presence. I reallly hope you can get comfy; I'm pretty sure the tea wasn't affected by the fire (but it might be like a little smoky idk). ABSOLUTELY NOT! No! you will stay and have fun and be good and make this thread great again! I demand it! I've got a gun! A fake gun, true, but I believe in its powers, indiscriminately, through imagination or something. Er, wait, that's a person... ... Its powers exist through a concentrated channeling of my thoughts and potent make-believing. Fawkes post = 5 points microchip post = 1 point previous points were 12 new point total is now 18 points

No, that wouldn't make me like you more because that's not in the rules but I appreciate the offer. Also, cookies aren't a points-booster. Bribing in and of itself might be a thing given the fact that I am just absolutely honor-less and without any ethics whatsoever but I've yet to have my interest piqued. (seized)Wildtalon post = seizurepost so no points Points remain at 12 points

You've got fouty-seven minutes left (as of right now). This was almost a degeneracy post because my clearly and elegantly-organized (terribly organized) explanation as well as in-game text says it lasts an hour, but because you pretended to have a seizure I like you more so you're off the hook. (seized)Wildtalon post = seizurepost so no points We remain at 12 points

all of LPW will, which will be very fitting if you guys decide to go full communist after ousting the naughty Bourgeoisie NastyMann. Maybe if you bat your lashes enough they'll finally release Pokemon Go in Canada--or at least by July 25th when (hopefully) my phone arrives. (Seized)Wildtalon post=Seizurepost so no points : ( Angie post = 1 point old total was 11 points New total is now 12 points

It says "Wild Card" because I do whatever the heck I want with the points whenever you post. Also, I'll do what I want with this dangerous weapon, so get S E I Z E D, lad! For the next hour Wildtalon is seized and posts do not affect the point total in any way Point total is HALVED! Previous point total is 0 so 0 / 0 = 0 Five bullets remaining in Nasty's six shooter See you lot can crack these jokes all you want but the forest is still on fire and you should probabbly help like put that out but I mean if you don't that's okay too I'll just have to take over LPW again. Wiildtalon post = Wild Card so plus ten points Angie Post = one point New total is 11 points

Wiping the grass stains from his face, Nasty brings a voice projector to his lips: "That's it lads; I'm taking over LPW!" Nasty, rooting into his front pouch akin to a mad-cow-disease-ridden kangaroo, produces a six-shooter and wildly aims it around. With a deranged look in his eye, his manically-driven gaze pierces through each Last Post Wins member. It is only during this brief stall of his erratically-contouring body that one could see that the six-shooter he produced is actually just his hands pointed in the shape of a gun. "Alright lads, I've got some fantastic news. In light of Fawkes, our previous leader's extended absence, I have now become the de facto leader. This will surely result in an ensuing anarchy, but somehow I feel like it will be a suitable replacement for the sheer degeneration of our once beloved culture. If any of you dinklelords have any complaints, feel free to play my Utterly Raunchy Adult Male Game of Death (read more if you wish to learn how to play!). If not, continue posting under my irresponsible, unclean rule. Also, should I somehow die because one of you gross kids try to godmode RP or just straight up end me IRL (you can't; it's not Canada Day) that will put Wildtalon (the cat, if you do not know) in charge. Let that be a deterrent in and of itself." Nasty, insecurely scanning the forest for any objections with his trigger finger ready, reaches once more into his pouch to produce a giant, crudely-made chart. H O W T O W I N "This here will tell all of you degenerates how to win points in my Utterly Raunchy Adult Male Game of Death. If all of you as a collective somehow reach fifty-five (55) points, that will remove me completely from power and also veto Wildtalon from ever becoming ruler of LPW, and give you lads the ability to pick a new de facto leader (or just have Fawkes be leader again idk that's up to you)." Nasty raises his six shooter again, pointing it threateningly at the innocent and helpless Angie Cakes to bring everyone's attention to it. After working up the courage to not wimp out with his UNCOUTH plan, Nasty clears his throat and begins to speak again. "My six shooter here has the ability to S E I Z E anyone I choose to kablam. Once seized, you are allowed to post, but any seizureposts do not count toward the point total (and if you pretend to be taking an epileptic fit I'll like you more, which is priceless (or in this case pointless, but take that for what you will)). If and when I ever seize someone, the point total is also immediately halved. Better hope you're not the one getting too post happy lest I find you in my sites lad! Also, because I'm a jerk (and because I have to make semi-regular point tallies so you degenerates know how you're faring) posts made by myself do not count toward the point total." Nasty outstretches his arms and kicks over a can of oil, allowing it to less-than-promptly ooze its way to an already-lit bonfire. After unceremoniously connecting (and not without Nasty's impatient and whiny stammering) an eruption of flames spells out the phrase "Have Fumf,,!" in a blaze within the forest tress.

"Found out!" Nasty cried, a little more audibly than he would have liked. Darting by the resident cat, Nasty ran out into an open field, falling face-first on wet grass and staining his clothing and face. Sheepishly, he rose to his feet and looked behind him to check for any pursuers.

Nasty gulps down a tall glass of caramel-colored ginger ale, embracing its corrosive bubbles during its descent down his esophagus as it stirs his thoughts into focus. "It really is now or never," Nasty grimaced. In spite of the fact that he was in no position to make such a bold move, he knew in his heart (that of which grew three sizes) that it was needed in order to save the cultural fabric of LPW. But would his comrades understand?

Checking over his shoulder, Nasty peers into the teeny bedrooms of every sleeping angel within the maddened forest, checking extra-carefully for Fawkes and noting his still-empty cubby. "There's still time," Nasty crooned.

Tip toeing around the leaves, Nasty continues to lay down fire crackers and oil in what appears to be a deliberate pattern, barely shrouded by the thick penumbra of the maddened forest...

I L O V E T H R O W U P L O V E T H R O W U P

what if /i/ want it to be a throw up?

*burps*

This is literal degeneracy

L E G E N D S

It'd make sense given your post-to-like ratio; there's absolutely no way it can't be higher (especially for a lad like you ;)))) But yes, it needs to stay at 69. It simply must. Even if I like your post

I feel like I am entitled to be able to use my keyboard to do that in-textbox. ALSO BIG BIG BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: NOBODY LIKE DAVROTH'S POSTS ANYMORE IT NEEDS TO STAY AT 69; THE ABSOLUTE LEGEND also where the hell are everyone's nasty pictures? We've only got angus, me, microchip, and the goddamn cat. I'm not letting this go; I need the full LPW collection.

Literally bullied by a cat

It's not out of cruelty but out of immense morbid curiosity (and so I can potentially help ease those feelings). But thank you ~~~ seriously though also lad like how are you? How long has it been since we last spoke?

I wanna see the video

Man this thread has it all. I'm glad that as well as getting my daily dose of crippling social awakwardness, I could also get that juicy existential crisis from Thala (hope you're doing well also).

I get the feeling like everything you say is just a stream of consciousness about a subject matter, in-depth, and in the moment, about things you haven't really thought much about, while your opinion finally claws its away to the top. It's classic

i like black coffee best because I need whatever I drink to be bitter and gross like my deepest inward feelings about myself