never gets any more depressing than knowing im not a real human being because the chemistry in my brain forbids me from actually feeling involuntary non influential emotion. so no, never gets depressing. theres a saying "a man never lives until he learns to live without the fear of death" and i am not afraid to die. if a guy put a gun to my head and asked me to beg to live id keep my mouth shut. i dont beg, i dont crave life, but i never take life for granted. life is a wonderful adventure and a gift. possibly the most valuable thing in existence. but, i dont cling very tightly to mine for some reason. idk why, i just dont.