BrainedBySaucepans

WAIT! There was a radio series?! WHERE IS THIS RADIO SERIES! I MUST KNOW!

The radio series is actually where it all started. I'm a radio comedy fanatic, mainly thanks to H2G2.

Did I at least get second best

In my opinion, yes. If you haven't heard the original radio series, I advise you to seek it out; it's brilliant.

I am disappointed. The correct answer is the radio series...

Giggle

Juggle

Welcome, welcome welcome!

You seem like a chap of similar interests to me. I have an important question for you though: Which H2G2 is best? TV show, books or film? Choose wisely, as I will

judge you based on your answer...

Also:

A tsunami of grounded up parasprites

I think I've just realised how to make a perpetual motion machine! The laws of thermodynamics can kiss my flank!

Welcome to Canterlot!

Dude, parkour is awesome!

Or as they say in England...wicked!

No. We say splendid. At least I do...

@TheBritishBrony

Welcome to the site old chap; I can tell from your taste in headgear that we'll get on just fine! Although, thinking about it, I can hardly prepare to be tophatified if I already wear a topper, can I? That would just be adding another top hat on top of the first. Which would be absurd. No; I'll substitute the additional top hat for a monocle if you don't mind. I've always wanted a monocle.

On an additional note, there does seem to be a surprisingly large overlap between 40K fans and MLP fans...

I intend to

Many thanks to everyone who helped me with this app.

Got it, thanks - Fixed. To be honest I only threw in the apple story as a riff on how the whole Judgement of Paris story would have gone down in Equestria. I realise now, it wasn't really the right place. Also, please tell me if you actually got the reference; it'd make me feel better if I'm not the only one whose brain got filled with all this classical trivia as a kid...

Understood, in that case I could use some advice on what might make a suitable alternative, unless I could just use the golden apple as a generic symbol of knowledge? I'd really like a symbol that subtly hints at his beliefs, but couldn't find anything else that worked...

Once again, I highly enjoyed this episode. You have a great format which makes it a real pleasure to listen to, and both the hosts and the interviewee were highly entertaining. Here's my comments on some of the things brought up.

Noctriix - Go find season 2 right now. Watch it. No arguments, just do it.

I also disagree with your (rather strongly worded) sentiment that watching the show in the order it aired is somehow the wrong way of doing it. In my view, saying this is doing a disservice to the creators; for whatever reasons, they made a creative decision as to which order the episodes should go in, meaning that is the way they are intended to be viewed. I'm not saying that you're wrong, that's just how I see it - with any form of art, you should always consider the creator's intentions. Please don't shoot me.

Finally, thanks for putting the podcast on soundcloud, but could you pleasepleaseplease make it available for download somehow? As I said on the last podcast thread, I like to listen to stuff like this on the go, and it would make it a lot easier for me if you did...

So, I've made the changes suggested, and have updated the original post. I'm still yet to redo the artwork to reflect the change in cutie mark, but that can come later.

Major Changes:

1. Completely stripped out all the footnotes, inserting them into the main text. Unfortunately this makes it rather lengthy, but I’ve always been terrible when it comes to pruning my own work. If necessary, I suspect I can cut it down a lot, but I wouldn’t enjoy it…

2. Changed cutie mark from the sacred chao to a more generic golden apple.

3. Removed all explicit references to Discordianism and the POEE. I have kept his personal philosophy pretty much intact, but would be willing to alter it if necessary; the feedback I was given indicated (to me at least) that the problem was not so much with his beliefs, but with the referencing of a real-world religion.

4. Altered backstory to clarify the age at which Ashen gained his cutie mark.

Hopefully this covers the points already raised. If not, or if there's other changes you'd like me to make, please let me know. Thanks to everyone for the help so far, I hope that we can continue to work together to put together a character that fits in with the spirit of the Mane RP.

None; I probably should have specified which Sunday I meant.... should be back to work on it in a day or two.

Wrinkle

Having some personal issues and computer trouble, so I've put this on the back burner. I expect I'll have my issues sorted out by Sunday, at which point I'll resume work on this. My apologies for any inconvenience.

Had 15 minutes to spare so gave some of it a skim. Enjoyed the experience more than I was expecting, but then I always used to hate CYOA books.

Did find one link error: on page TRM001, the link claiming to go to SFX008 actually took me to TRM003.

I'll definitely come back to this when I have more time, both to scour for dodgy links and to read for my own pleasure

Would love to see someone else's take on my OC Prof. Ashen Smirk.

Can't seem to embed images in this post for some reason, but reference pics are my avatar and this:

I'm also about to have a smoke, so I won't be active on the livestream for the next 20 mins or so. Feel free to put someone else ahead of me in the queue, and I won't be offended if the stream ends before I get back.

Thanks for the feedback Rosewind; taking on board what you've said, I may end up removing pretty much everything in the spoiler tags, relegating that to my personal head-canon. I was tempted when first writing this to do as you suggest, leaving it out completely and working it into my character as I progressed in the RP. The reason I decided against this was twofold: first, I personally find I have the most fun (and create the most interesting characters) when I have a strong grasp of my OC's back-story, and second, I was unsure whether any details I might introduce later would fit in the RP. It's clear from a glance that all the helpers here do an incredible job, working really hard to keep the tone and feel of the RP consistent with the show, and as someone who has more interest in the fandom than the show itself I didn't think I was the best person to judge if my ideas were suitable. Better to bring these points up now than end up despnately PMing one of you to find out if I could include such-and-such detail in an ongoing RP, or indeed just putting it in without thinking.

With this in mind, I'm going to work hard on trying to bring the currently spoilered stuff into line with the canon. I'll be stripping out any and all references to Discordianism and POEE, replacing them with a much more generalised philosophy. I still want to have him initially believing that Discord was a force for good, as well as his disillusionment after seeing Discord in action, as I think I can make those work (plus they're pretty much the core of the character). With this in mind, should I switch the application status back to WiP while I do this? It should only take me a day or two. I also understand that this may be creating extra work for you and Phil, and am perfectly happy if you tell me no, or put me at a lower priority so you can deal with more straightforward applications first.

I'd also appreciate a clarification: Phil stated that the main problem with my background was the explicit reference to a real world religion (however frivolous the religion in question), as well as having a religion centered on Discord, but Rosewind stated: "Most of the information in the spoiler area isn't conducive for a FiM canon-strict environment." Are there other parts that need to be changed? If so, please let me know; I'd rather do my rewrites all in one go, since I find going back and editing something repeatedly can make it incomprehensible.

Thanks for your suggestions on how to keep Ashen a Unicorn, but in this case it seems that it makes more sense to deny than compromise, so I'll switch to Earth Pony. I generally prefer to play a non-magical character when trying out a new RP anyway, since every RP's magic system is different, and I prefer to get to grips with characterisation straight off the bat. If I do decide to create a magic-using character here, it'll probably after I've been around for a while and had a chance to see how other RPers use the system.

One last thing; my comment about Rosewind's previous post was intended as a light-hearted dig at myself and my own neuroses (especially my tendency to automatically assume that I've done something wrong or annoyed someone), sorry if any offence was caused. I genuinely appreciate the help from both of you and didn't mean to imply otherwise. The more I participate in forums, the more I learn that my sense of humour doesn't translate very well into a purely text-based medium (hence my extensive use of emoticons and footnotes; I try to provide as much emotional context as possible).

Hello there.

I've given this app a look, as have some of my fellow Senior RP Helpers, and while we see a lot to like in the app, we decided we can't quite approve it just yet. There are some areas that need to be addressed:

First is the formatting. Your use of annotations here makes the app difficult to read and assess. I do understand what you're going for here with the information hiding; that said, ideally, in an RP, the player will look at your character's app to understand your character and who he is, but will still play his own character as if s/he doesn't know any of it at the start. What the characters learn depends more on what happens in the RP itself than what's written in the apps. Considering most who do look at the app will be doing so with the intent to understand the character, it becomes somewhat redundant to section off spoilers. I would suggest editing the format to reduce/eliminate the need for the spoiler section.

Moving on to content, there is this horn matter. I was more lenient than some who glanced at the app on this idea; I personally think a unicorn might be able to hide his horn or at least make it appear not visible if he was particularly skilled at illusionary magic. What I'm less sure about is if he could keep it up long term. It's clear that unicorns are exerting themselves when they cast magic. To keep his horn continually hidden, Ashen would have to continually be using magic, which I'm just not sure is feasible, especially when you describe him as not being very strong magically. As a result, I don't think what is described in the app is going to be viable.

What is in my view the biggest problem here, however, is that Discordianism is a real world religion. As such, we're really not prepared to allow it into our World of Equestria. Doing so opens up doors we would rather avoid opening. This includes using symbols associated with the religion, and other direct references to it. Even if there were no real world Discordianism and you were just intending to have him as a part of a religion built around Discord, that might be the kind of thing we'd be skeptical to include in an app as it approaches the sort of thing you'd need separate lore approved for. This is not to say his personal outlook and philosophy can't be in line with the tenets of Discordianism, but calling it that and using a symbol associated with the real religion as a cutie mark is not something we're prepared to allow.

Got it. Thanks for the feedback Phil, I have a couple of minor questions, but I can't see any problems with changing what's been asked.

First off, I understand the footnotes have to go, but should I use some other way to indicate what is kept secret and what isn't? Should I just shove a spoiler tag at the end of each section that needs one, or just lose the spoiler tags completely? Or do something completely different?

As I said to Mojo, I didn't really have Ashen being a Unicorn as a central part of his identitiy, it really was more to underline his deceptive nature, so I have no problems with it going completely.

On to the point on Discordianism; my initial reaction to this was that Discordianism isn't really a religion, it's more of a personal philosophy wrapped up in a surreal joke. However, I feel this would be missing your point completely, and a moment's thought made me realise several extremely valid reasons why you wouldn't want anything approaching a real world religion to appear in the Mane RP. It really should have occurred to me earlier as it seems like common sense (proving how uncommon that can be). Do you think it would be sufficient for me to remove all of the explicit references to Discordianism, or will I have to change some of his beliefs as well? Choosing a new cutie mark is going to be hard...

I expect it will take me a couple of days to get the various changes written up, but be aware that my inbuilt laziness and resistance to change will probably mean that the bare minimum will actually get changed. As such, if there's anything else about the character as he stands now that needs changing?

I agree with everything that Phil presented to you about your application. I see you have a strong creative spark, and a passion to produce really good, entertaining writing. I think you just have to channel that ability in a way (and place) in which it will be most appreciated. Mane RP is designed to be a facsimile to Friendship is Magic, the cartoon. We are strict about allowing certain content to keep the environment robust and true to the character that makes the show so special. When designing a character for it, it's helpful to keep in mind that if it would never pass approval for an appearance on the cartoon, it won't be approved, here, for the roleplay.

I recommend you make the necessary corrections that Phil suggested, with respect to the canon of the series, the RP environment, and the other players in the game. Thanks!

It probably shouldn't, but this comment has set off my paranoid streak. Intellectually, I know it's just a helpful friendly comment, clarifying some of the criteria used to judge applications, and also throwing in a compliment on my writing style (my paranoid side is rebuking me for even regarding it as a compliment, pointing out that there's a large difference between passion and ability). My instincts, however, are currently screaming that the fact you felt it necessary to make such a comment indicates that I am now regarded as a troublemaker who is unlikely to listen to reason unless outnumbered... That really has nothing to do with anything though, just some unsolicited insight into the way my mind works.

This intrigues me as I love your artwork. Have to ask though; 2:30 in what time zone?

Thanks Mojo, I appreciate the advice, and have prepared my contingency plans.

Hi Mojo, don't worry about the delay, these things happen. I'm more than familiar with the perils of switching to a new procedure, even when the new way is genuinely superior.

On to the points you raise, lets start with the cutie mark. It's my understanding that the colt/filly stage is roughly analogous to a human's teenage years, and it says in the guidelines that the latest a pony gets their cutie mark is by the end of this stage. As I understand it, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are pretty near the beginning of this stage in the show (this is just my head-canon though, so please let me know if the established RP canon, or indeed the show itself, contradicts this).

With this in mind, I picture Ashen getting his cutie mark at the equivalent of around 15 years old; still by no means an adult, but mentally well developed enough that an interest in reading ancient books and scrolls is plausible (if stretching things a bit) This would make him a very late bloomer in that respect, but not outside the limits laid out in the guidelines. In my mind, there is still a bit of a gap between his earning of his Cutie Mark and heading off to study at Canterlot University, but I'm not sure this comes across in the narrative I've got written down. Do you think I need to make this clearer, or am I completely missing your point?

To be honest, making Ashen a Unicorn was more a way to underline the deceptive and secretive nature of his character than it was for any other purpose. I see him as very weak magically, his only talent being deception and misdirection, but this is not an essential part of his character. As such, I think it would probably be better to completely cut out his Unicorn aspect, rather than tweaking it to remove his ability to hide his nature. At the end of the day, I'd prefer to keep that aspect as it is, but if it has to go, I don't really think it would effect the core of his character.

I have been asked to stop using footnotes, as people have found them irritating in my other posts, and I intend to do so. In this application though, I can't really see how to restructure it to eliminate them without completely removing the spoiler tags. Should I leave as is, or work towards some sort of compromise?

Thanks again for the feedback, and please let me know if any other tweaks are needed.

Will get that cutie mark finalised for you right now. I already have the basics, so it should only be 5-10 minutes work; I really should have had it finished by now...

EDIT: Since I couldn't get the file to you directly, I'll put it here. Let me know if you want anything changed.

You make a very valid point, dear sir!

I'll be sure to upload an episode both to Youtube and soundcloud. Is that okay?

As always, your feedback is very much appreciated, Saucy.

Sounds great to me. I look forward to being able to keep up with Canterlot goings on while out and about, make sure you make them available for download (I have no idea how soundcloud works, but I assume there's an option for that somewhere). Also it's nice to hear that my words here are actually appreciated, I've been feeling kind of down today, since a member of staff asked me to stop using footnotes in posts. Apparently a lot of people have been finding it annoying, so I agreed to stop.

In happier news, about ten minutes after Tenkan wished me luck in a job interview, I got a phone call telling me I'd got the job (I am now an apprentice Administrative Assistant). Would you be okay with being my official good luck charm? The position involves me informing you whenever an important or exciting opportunity comes up, and then you wishing me luck with it. The pay would be lousy, but the hours are good!

DrMaxwell: thanks, that seems to work quite well.

Artax: I shall refrain from footnotes from this point forward. On the record, I have no objection to being viewed a pretentious, as I am, and have no interest in hiding such character flaws.

I also have no objection to people skipping the footnotes; that's why I spoilered them in the first place. My reasoning was that people who enjoyed my little digressions could still have a chuckle with me, and it would make it easier for those who didn't to ignore them. However, if people do find it annoying, then that just won't do, I'm here to make friends after all. In retrospect I should have heeded you on this matter before. My apologies.

Your securely attached plugs are a trip hazard. The health and safety inspector is not amused...