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Whitefeather

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Posts posted by Whitefeather

  5. Hello, Canterlot!

    in Introductions

    Posted

    [colour=#FFA07A]He[/colour][colour=#D3D3D3]ll[/colour][colour=#FFA07A]o![/colour][colour=#D3D3D3]

    :blush: Welcome To [/colour][colour=#FFA07A]Canterlot[/colour][colour=#D3D3D3]![/colour]

    [colour=#FFA07A]I'd suggest you go to the[/colour][colour=#D3D3D3]

    Info, Rules, and Guides [/colour][colour=#FFA07A]though a lot of people here will answer your questions individually[/colour][colour=#D3D3D3]. ^ - ^[/colour]

  7. The Sakura Euphoria [Closed]

    in Free For All Roleplay

    Posted

    [colour=#d3d3d3]//WhiteFeather[/colour][colour=#ffa07a] giggled at this funny pony, who ever he was. Though she was still worried about Autumn, what was taking him so long? She motioned for the funny colt she'd just met to stay here, quickly trotting along as her worry grew. Once she reached the tree, the sea of blossoms just parted as she trotted along and once she was at the door-shaped entrance of the tree, she silently walked in and gasped quickly galloping over to Autumn as he layed against the trunk of the tree, nudging him lightly before she pushed him out of the tree, and gently trotted along until she reached the tent, slipping him inside and constantly nudging him.~ "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]Autumn? A-Autumn Moon, wake up...[/colour][colour=#ffa07a]"[/colour]

  9. WhiteSakura [FINAL]

    in Original Characters

    Posted

    Hello there!

    I can see you've been working hard on this app, but there's still some work to be done in order to get this character moving :)

    This personally makes no sense to me. By giving her everything she needed, wouldn't that mean they were listening to her? And why would they give her anything at all if they didn't love her? This and other portions of the parent back story seem confusing and unfocused, maybe a bit rushed even? I'd recommend going back through this and rewriting it. Keep things like parent histories simple. There are ways to develop sensitive souls and nature lovers without terrible and/or dead parents.

    Which is it? The cutie mark doesn't have anything to do with the both of them. Art, maybe, but where does the baking come from? I think you should try to focus more on this character's skill in art. Does she tie her love for nature and animals into her art? How so? My belief is that this application simply needs to follow one rule: K.I.S.S.

    Keep It Simple, Silly!

    As stated above by Phil, there is also still the mention of the word 'people'. There are no people, there are ponies. A minor detail, but important nonetheless.

    Keep things simple, focus on strong points, make necessary changes, and I feel you can get this character moving along in no time! You have a good foundation, now build upon it :)

    [colour=#FFA07A]T-Tried to [/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]fix[/colour][colour=#FFA07A]...? [/colour]

    :sniff:

  10. The Sakura Euphoria [Closed]

    in Free For All Roleplay

    Posted

    [colour=#d3d3d3]//WhiteFeather [/colour][colour=#ffa07a]nuzzled him lightly as she slowly nodded, looking down feeling like she was younger than she was as he told her to stay in the tent. Then once he trotted off, she poked her head out of the tent to see somepony in a white vest. She blinked once, and then she blinked once more as she registered what this pony was doing, then she giggled and went off into a giggle fit, tears coming out of her eyes as she laughed.~ "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]W-W-What are y-you doing...?![/colour][colour=#ffa07a]"[/colour]

  12. The Sakura Euphoria [Closed]

    in Free For All Roleplay

    Posted

    [colour=#d3d3d3]//WhiteFeather [/colour][colour=#ffa07a]gasped as she saw the petals from the sakura tree fall to the damp forest floor, and then she nudged the petals out of Autumn's hair.~ "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]M-Maybe... But, there's just too many petals, that's all...[/colour][colour=#ffa07a]" [/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]//WhiteFeather [/colour][colour=#ffa07a]trotted around, noticing there wasn't another single sakura tree anywhere.~ "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]This tree... I-It's so out of place... Like you said...[/colour][colour=#ffa07a]"[/colour]

  13. The Sakura Euphoria [Closed]

    in Free For All Roleplay

    Posted

    [colour=#a9a9a9]//WhiteFeather [/colour][colour=#FFA07A]smiled at the small noise he made. He should be thankful she didn't make him turn into a tomato after he'd made her blush so much. "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]H-Hehe, I am.[/colour][colour=#FFA07A]" [/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]//WhiteFeather[/colour][colour=#FFA07A] tilted her head slightly as she stopped nuzzling him, confused.~ "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]S-Smell what.....?[/colour][colour=#FFA07A]"[/colour]

  14. The Sakura Euphoria [Closed]

    in Free For All Roleplay

    Posted

    [colour=#d3d3d3]//WhiteFeather[/colour][colour=#FFA07A] heard him stutter, and she giggled a bit more as she saw him turn away to hide his blush that was growing by the second. She loved it when he blushed, even though he found it funny when she blushed. "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]O-Oh my....[/colour][colour=#FFA07A]" [/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]//WhiteFeather[/colour][colour=#FFA07A] was having a giggle fit.~ "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]I-I'm sorry..You're just so c-cute...[/colour][colour=#FFA07A]" [/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]//WhiteFeather[/colour][colour=#FFA07A] then walked around him, nudging his nose andd gently brushing her lips against his while she nuzzled him lovingly.~ [/colour]

  16. The Sakura Euphoria [Closed]

    in Free For All Roleplay

    Posted

    [colour=#D3D3D3]//WhiteFeather[/colour][colour=#FFA07A] licked his cheek and gave him a shy smirk.~ "[/colour][colour=#D3D3D3]Autumn, do you know what you taste like?[/colour][colour=#FFA07A]" [/colour][colour=#D3D3D3]//WhiteFeather [/colour][colour=#FFA07A]thought he'd been thinking a bit too much, so she had made it her mission to make him blush.~[/colour]

  17. The Sakura Euphoria [Closed]

    in Free For All Roleplay

    Posted

    [colour=#d3d3d3]//WhiteFeather[/colour][colour=#ffa07a] shook her head as she nuzzled into his chest, letting him smell her mane.~ "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]I was just sleeping because the smell of sakura petals was everywhere... They make me sleepy. Hee... I also smell like roses, but I don't know why....[/colour][colour=#ffa07a]"[/colour]

  20. The Sakura Euphoria [Closed]

    in Free For All Roleplay

    Posted

    [colour=#ffffff]//WhiteFeather [/colour][colour=#FFA07A]blushed even more, putting a tomato to shame as she felt him give her a peck on the lips.~ "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]I-I may have made a few plans you don't know about...[/colour][colour=#FFA07A]" [/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]//WhiteFeather [/colour][colour=#FFA07A]looked up as she felt cherry blossom tree petals settle into her hair, and nodded at his comment while watching the damp forest for be coated in sakura petals. Her coat smelling of roses and her mane smelling of the tree she almost fell asleep as she trotted over him to keep herself awake, and started to clean up the tree a bit.~ "[/colour][colour=#d3d3d3]T-This is making me so sleepy...[/colour][colour=#FFA07A]"[/colour]

  21. Hi Everypony ...

    in Introductions

    Posted

    Welcome to Canterlot! Its a pleasure to make your acquaintance Sapphy! (Hope you don't mind if I call you that, hm?)

    This place is wondrous and exciting so I hope you take the time to look around and have a great time!

    There are plenty of ponies here who are willing to be your friend so your won't have any trouble with that. In a moment this thread will be full of comments! ;)

    :smug:

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